Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
A writer for CLM Magazine and CLM Social Pages, Achelle is also an independent blogger, giving her two cents on personal and social issues from an educated Filipina's point of view, especially those relating to love and relationships. She has a knack for tackling issues from unique angles that are often left unexplored, posing questions that move and challenge readers to view a certain issue from a wholly different perspective. Achelle is happily engaged to her childhood sweetheart and is currently based in the Philippines. Achelle's writing is a delight to read and highly enlightening, entertaining and thought provoking. You're going to see lots of her on our Emagazine, Blogs, Social Pages and Hubs. Enjoy
Articles :
Views :
Comments :
Create Time :
This Blog's Articles
Index of Blogs
Index Blog Articles

Reflections Upon An Ugly Reality: Of Online Dating Scams and Filipina Frauds Part 2    

By Achelle Vinzon
6475 Views | 15 Comments | 2/19/2013 2:30:14 PM

The Canadian Government rejected this marriage of a 23 year old Filipina to a 60 year old Canadian as a fraud.

They say desperate times call for desperate measures. I have always understood this to mean that one is left no other choice but to engage in acts that are uncharacteristic of the person and that go against his/her morals and principles, sometimes even against society's norms and laws. When it is the former, the person often does not cause hurt to anybody else but himself/herself; when it is the latter, it is also often marked by complete disrespect and a lack of consideration for other people.

A Social Custom

I cannot oversimplify the unfavorable plight of Filipinas who find themselves in desperate times and choose desperate measures; it is a serious socio-economic problem that has fomented a social custom of scamming and fraudulent behavior which, in turn, have given Filipinas an awful reputation around the world. At the same time, as far as going against their personal morals and principles or even against what society considers moral behavior, I can say that majority of these poor Filipinas are engaging in behavior that is characteristic of most unscrupulous individuals, regardless of race; and that is behavior based on the "I do, because I can get away with it" philosophy.

While this issue has become pervasive in the area of online Asian dating, it is a sad reality that has spilled beyond the virtual world and into the real world; it has become such a severe real-life and online issue that it has dealt an almost-irreparable damage to the mere subject of dating Asian women. This regrettable “social custom” is a fact of life among Filipinas in the Philippines, as well as Filipinas working in other countries.

It is a fact that the Philippine society as a whole, and not just a select group of Filipinas, should be held accountable for the perpetuation of this social custom, i.e. "the lodgement of spouse visa applications by women from a poor third world country to wealthy countries such as the United States, Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom, only for reasons of emigration and financial betterment and these motivations do not accord with the policies of such visa." (Quotation from "Why do so many men report bad Filipina dating/marrying experiences.") After all, these Filipinas would not engage in such activities if the conditions in the country were not so desperate. This is not to say that their actions are excusable and acceptable. They, too, should be held accountable. The ill reputation that the country and its daughters is now living with is something they created for themselves; one can even say it is their karma finally catching up to them. Unfortunately, even those who do not engage in such behaviors are also often seen in the same light.

The "Philippines is a country which has gained an international reputation for leading the forefront on the proliferation of marriage/visa scams aimed at wealthy Western countries," according to the same blog. One commenter from the first part of my blog series brought up a valid point when he said that many marriages are about elevating the status of one or both parties; I am aware that this happens commonly enough, especially among upper-class people who want to keep their money within the family and, at the same time, augment their wealth. And then there are the usual gold diggers and social climbers; Filipinas who engage in marriage/visa scams fall under this group. Unlike the traditional gold digger or social climber, however, these Filipinas actually have the implied support of the larger part of their society when it chooses to ignore hard evidence of pervasive fraudulent behavior that victimizes foreign individuals.

The society chooses to look the other way because these Filipinas, when they succeed, become an additional source of revenue when they remit the money they "earn" from their marriage back to their families. Instead of implementing solutions to fix the poverty problem in the country, the society is getting away with being dependent on richer nations, albeit indirectly, for financial sustenance by means of "cultural prostitution" (which I discussed in the first part of this blog series). Looking at it from a small-scale perspective, Filipinas who manage to migrate to other countries via marriage visas burden their foreign husbands with their family's financial problems; but in the greater scheme of things, the Philippine society, or at least its poor, by extension, burden richer nations with its financial instability by siphoning off money from their economies in the form of remittances. It is a one-way "transaction," as opposed to a mutually-beneficial one, and is tantamount to parasitism.

As I have mentioned in the first part of this blog series, this ugly reality of "cultural prostitution" is unfair to the rest of us Filipinas who worked hard to earn degrees and build careers both here in our own country and abroad. Indeed, the Philippines is also known for being a great source of skilled and professional workers (although this has also contributed to the country's economic problems). This just goes to show that taking desperate measures to get out of desperate times does not and should not necessarily mean taking the easiest way out. And desperate times do not and should not be used as a motivation or an excuse to take advantage of others who are better off.

I am in no position to make suggestions about how to solve the poverty problem in the country and, perhaps, put an end to this ugly social custom of parasitism. I do not intend to oversimplify the circumstances and motivations of Filipinas who seek marriage to foreign men in order to get themselves and their families out of poverty. I do feel, however, that it is time for another Filipina to give her two cents about this issue. I may not seem sympathetic to the plight of these Filipinas, but while I understand how it feels to be desperate, I cannot accept that taking advantage of another individual because one can get away with it is justified by poverty. These Filipinas may feel that their society owes them and they would be right; but believing that it is okay to take advantage of foreign individuals who live better lives because they have enough to spare is just wrong.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
(Showing 1 to 10 of 15) 1 2 More...
#2013-02-20 07:03:26 by Dayton @Dayton

Great article.

#2013-02-20 19:23:52 by anonymous5550 @anonymous5550


#2013-02-21 09:58:11 by aussieghump @aussieghump

Unfortunately the media and others focus on the 'bridal trade' - and forget that mst if the 'market' you are talking about is not really in this group - it is the 'out-of-country' workers in housekeeping, entertainment, semi-skilled and heavy manual labour that are the biggest export!

Having worked in some countries where 'labour' from countries like the Phillipines, India and Bangladesh is used to 'drive' most economic activity in the country (in the Middle East), the living conditions of the individuals in those situations is usually fairly poor and quite hostile! Many do not see family for years and they struggle to send as much 'home' as possible. It is not the life of a headline drawing flaunting filapina sexpot that they are living!

If you wander around HOngKong Island on a Sunday, you see the otherwise unseen extent of 'out of country' workforce meeting on their 'off day'. Many of these people support family at home - cooking and cleaning for other people's children to give their own a chance at education.
Or Singapore's Lucky Plaza - you will see the building of community as well as the issues of transient life overseas!

Other countries in Asia actively discourage 'work immigration' by charging huge 'visa processing fees' or by imposing 'language-based barriers'...but while there is demand, and people willing to fill that demand...there will be a market!

Same is true for the 'bridal trade' - while I am sure that some couples find peace and happiness together, the key point is that the introduction should not be a 'paid transaction' since it is in the interests of other parties to 'force' a union.
The issue is that it takes time, diligence and understanding to forge a life-long relationship - not a 5 minute photo-splash! This is the thing we forget in the world of quick-access consumerism!

#2013-02-22 04:20:42 by ferlo @ferlo

@ Filipina
I did post a comment in the previous blog of Filipina, but never see it publicized.
I wrote my comments but as I had sent the last one I notice these remark on top which to me is unnecessary. If we have to mention any other commentaries would be related to the main blog not to the comments are written just under the blog, the original blog is the main subject to discuss or comment .
Way back I posted a blog but never see it in the blog section. So I have the feeling I am not liked in this section, in the only section I am liked is in the, upgrade your membership. Ha ha.
Are the writers of blogs full gold members? If is so, then I understand why my comments are not posted, although the first blog I send some time ago I was gold, it was not posted either.
So can you tell where I am wrong?
I have a relation and that is the reason I not gold now, even we are by the time being in not to good terms do to an stupid mistake I made May of last year.

#2013-02-22 15:42:26 by AchelleVinzons @AchelleVinzons

This comment was accidentally posted as being made by the blogger Achelle but was actually made by John Abbot. We apologize for the error:

@ferlo - first, I think you're a little out of line addressing the blogger here as "Filipina" when she clearly is blogging under the name of Achelle. You are normally very much a gentleman so I'm a little surprised to see that.

Second, I'm struggling with what you mean by "Way back I posted a blog...". There is no way to "post a blog" without already being an approved blogger. To become an approved blogger you must either ask to be one and provide a sample blog, or be invited to blog and provide a blog. I do not recall going through either process with you. But if you wish to blog, please write to me at and provide your sample and we'll be happy to consider you.

Third, we like you very much. You frequently make very valid and good comments in the blogs and forum and we like those too. I do the approving of English comments and I cannot recall ever rejecting one of yours, and would only have done that if I found it to be excessively insulting, which I think would not be your style.

Finally, all the bloggers are not Gold members at all, and becoming a gold member does not affect our willingness to have anyone as a blogger nor our approval or disapproval of their comments.

We're sorry to hear you are on the outs right now with your Chinese lady. Maybe your sample blog could be about that?

#2013-02-23 02:50:22 by ferlo @ferlo

AchelleVinzons @AchelleVinzons

Dear Achell:
I could not find your address at the beginning of your blog, had my page scroll under the grey ribbon where your e-address is. I beg you pardon, was not mi intention to used the Filipina as a pseudonymous or e-mail, to me was most suitable. Was not my intention to offended you starting my comment with the noun of Filipina.
Was long time ago that ventured to make a blog, but now as I remember where I wrote was in the comment section, I don’t know how long you are the person to authorize the blogs but at that time I had never heard of you. So please accept my apologies and pardon my ignorance.
Never finish grade school, I know my writing have lots mistakes besides my mother language is Español, English is a second language to me I learned being an adult so it’s not perfect, I am still in the process of learning.

#2013-02-23 12:39:44 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@ferlo - The comment addressed by Achelle to you was actually made by me, John Abbot. I had logged in earlier as Achelle to post the photo on her blog for her, and later I forgot to log out as her and log back in as myself.

I sincerely apologize to you, to Achelle and to all readers for the confusion caused by this error.

#2013-02-23 13:22:46 by AchelleVinzons @AchelleVinzons

Hello John,
First of all, thank you for speaking up on my behalf. And I did notice you accidentally used my account (No worries; I just found the mistake amusing).

@Ferlo, no harm done, either.

@aussieghump Thanks for the feedback! I might be mentioning the Philippines' "labor export industry" in my next blog, as it relates to Filipino/Filipina stereotypes.

#2013-02-23 15:48:54 by ferlo @ferlo

JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot
To err is human:
(Este es el paso del jabonero el que no cae resbala.) This is the soapy trail the one who does not slips falls down. Thank you John, At least I am not the only one who make mistakes. But that means we are alive dead people do not err.

#2013-02-25 09:07:53 by CalYost @CalYost

I believe we can address the heart of the problem by looking at the division of labor between men and women in the Philippines. In many countries there are strong government provisions to protect the predominance of hiring of men over women. World War II in the United States completely changed the role of women in the workforce, and now women feel comfortable fighting for every position available in America, including the presidency.
Additionally, the women know if there is discrimination, the government will back them up and take decisive action against those businesses who do not practice nondiscriminatory hiring practices.
When the women of your country have the opportunity to make money on their own, they will not think their only way to "trap" a man is to have his child. This practice of being willing to ensnare a man either within or without marriage through childbirth as the major hope for security is a reflection of the dichotomy of gender in the Philippine workforce.
At present, you have a Catholic-based society where the priests advocate the sanctity of life to the extent where they want to limit sensible birth-control practices. In America women stand up to the priests in the Catholic Church and practice birth control methods as they wish. The women here are educated and economically empowered, they have dozens of churches to pick from if they do not wish to practice Catholicism, and therefore the Catholic churches are not able to have control of the actions of women as they can in third world countries .
The women in the economically developed countries limit the size of their families and thereby improve the economy of their family--- in part as smaller families allow them to continue to be part of the workforce.

(Showing 1 to 10 of 15) 1 2 More...
To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space. Ask Achelle Vinzon a Question : Click here...