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I spent 20 years punching a time clock... then decided there had to be another way. Right now I'm sitting in a comfortable chair on a beautiful beach. There's a sweet, soft breeze in the air. In front of me, on the clear blue water, a boat drifts by. Maybe I'll go snorkeling this afternoon, or work on my tan. This is my kind of tropical paradise... cheap and unspoiled!
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Reborn at the Happy Hour!    

By Ken Silver About Asia
1959 Views | 13 Comments | 6/8/2016 2:07:21 PM

Night. A sleazy bar in Bangkok. A man, frozen solid inside the ice bathtub used to water down the drinks...  



On top of the ice is a glass of Thai Tiger beer and a basket of peanuts, left as though in offering.



The tropical night silence of the bar back room is broken by a soft, awed, bar girl voice..“ That him, Mister King Arthur Donald. That's him!”



The man beside her brushes off the frost on the tub ice. Fulsomely revealed is the muscular, heroic form of a young man, clad in battle shredded red white and blue. (Spoiler alert, its me).



“Damn, this is gonna be great! I tell ya honey, great! I love Asian girls! You want to be Ms. Universe? Well, you're gonna have to do something about those thighs, honey, I'm being honest here! But for now, just turn the heat up really high!”



“But Mr. King Arthur , another bar girl says. “We try 2 for 1 cheap beer special. We try free greasy fried rice, free this evening! (5 to 4:30 PM, ). We get brand new aluminum antique Buddha from the Antique Factory as offering, no good! Nothing wake him!”



The Donald smiles, places a envelope - its a great envelope, the greatest - next to the peanuts and beer. “This will. Now turn up the heat in here. I'm telling you, this is gonna be great!”.



 



How long was I frozen? The free Thai peanuts are pathogenic in their staleness. No more than a day or two, then.



I pull myself out of the tub.



“Sir! Sir! Don't leave! Floor show start 5 minutes. Kind you really like!”



I flash the envelope. “Not today. America needs me”



I step into the noisy main barroom, brushing dandruff icicles out of my hair.



Stunned looks from the bar patrons, sudden silence, then the shouts begin and bar chairs scrap the floor as drinkers rise unsteadily to their feet.. cell phones snapping photos.



I walk towards the door...



“That's...”



“Can't be him!”



“Impossible! I heard the crocodiles got him!”



“Call me a cab” I tell the doorman.



“You a cab sir” he obediently replies.



“No he aint!” An old Britisher speaks, all bad teeth and no tipping. “If that toff is a cab then it's Thursday and I'm wearing the Queens knickers!



He's back!



That's Ken Silver!”



 



The letter inside that really really great envelope - a class act of an envelope, really - was shocking. It was written by my old friend the Rajah, who had apparently somehow escaped Guantanamo Bay, where he'd been imprisoned for openly expressing his views.



“Dear Ken



Hows life in Asia?



Let me tell you about life in the West...



Walked out of Guantanamo by disguising myself as a terrorist who was late for an appointment to plant a bomb. The liberal media gave me a ride to the airport.



Are you sober? I hope not, cause only a hallucinating psychotic - such as yourself - who has just reached for more magic mushrooms and instead been bitten by the rattlesnake in his vest pocket can hope to understand the state of America today. The science fiction level control of the media by the Ruling Class, and the science fiction level control the media has on the idiot population, have reached science fiction control levels.



Here in the States the population is harangued to “act locally think globally!' Imagine judging the global consequences of your actions each time you do things! The key to understanding America is that it REALLY believes in Good vs Evil, and everything in Western culture is framed to the electorate in those terms. And the media control! The thing that forces me to ask you to side with Trump is how Everyone is trying to shut him up. Right wing, left wing, everyone! Its like that dream you had where everything in that dream - the huge bed, the harem girls, the gold bowl of diamonds, the magic carpet, etc, is telling you not to listen to that little voice suddenly saying "all just a dream.” Trump, however many magic mushrooms of his own he's taken, is that voice. America is nothing but using the right cultural buzz words to push your agenda; just so much stale canned laughter at the right times. It all breaks apart like the nightmare it is when Trump says the Magic Word, which is “Mexican”.



Now to your mission..say, better take some more mushrooms quick!....remember whats his name, who is married to whats her name? Well whats her name is now running for President! America is shit outta luck, I'm afraid, which is why we are gonna have whats her name for President unless we wake up folks, quick!



There's worse! Take some more mushrooms quick! The salt water crocodiles who run the world from their swamp in Australia have inserted their own evil DNA into her – God knows how they had the stomach to do it – and created the political candidate named Ms. Hellary Clinton! Saltwater Hillary! Secretary of State Saltwater Hillary Crocaclinton! We've got to stop Saltwater Hillary from dragging America into the swamp!



Now, gobble down all the magic mushrooms you have left for courage, least you piss your pants like Bernie!”



The End


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 10 of 13) 1 2 More...
#2016-06-08 14:07:03 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

"The science fiction level control of the media by the Ruling Class, and the science fiction level control the media has on the idiot population, have reached science fiction control levels."

Ken, this statement so clearly and correctly sums up the rot that has taken over the world, not just America. There is no free press anymore, no "investigative reporting", nobody writing anything that hasn't been dictated by the Big Cheese, the guy at the top, the one with all the money.

Without a free and open press, the free world is doomed to lose it's freedom, and for the most part already has.

Trump has pulled a few boners of late, especially his little bout of apparent aspergers, during which he forgot he is running for the position of President, and decided to take a week off and spend it haranguing a judge for being almost Mexican

Just the same, given a choice between a guy with aspergers or a woman who has been openly and actively accepting "gifts" in the billions of dollars for assisting foreign governments and multi-national corporations make cozy deals with each other, often to the detriment of the USA, I personally will take the guy with aspergers.

The facts are that Hillary was engaged in this highly illegal activity for decades, but especially raking in the dough while she was the Secretary of State. In days of yore an active press would have dogged Hillary relentlessly until she found herself on the inside, looking out from a lengthy sentence for treason.

But in today's world of a press firmly committed to not losing their jobs, she may instead be rewarded for her graft by being elected to President. Imagine how much money she'll be able to rake in from that high position.

So go Trump go!

Good to see you back Ken. I hope this is a sign of more to come.

Cheers, John

#2016-06-08 15:46:37 by anonymous15024 @anonymous15024

The majority of Americans are looking for a miracle cure. Trump is selling one. People who insist on fact checking or data analysis are just time wasters. President Trump has arrived. Expect him to wear a white suit for his inauguration.

#2016-06-08 17:26:17 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

OMG! You guys are so...2015! Get with the times will you and please Ken, stop being so ridiculous with your ramblings!

Have you never heard the question - 'How do you stop your girlfriend from giving you a BJ?'
Answer = Marry her!

Such was the case with Billy-Boy and Hilly-Willy-Hater. Like billions of women on this planet, Hilly hates 'sucky-sucky'. By contrast, Billy-Boy, like billions of men on this planet, absolutely loves it!

So Hilly-Willy-Hater paid old Monnie Wonnie some of her billions in order to give Billy-Boy some sucky-sucky. But of course, we all know that Monnie-Wonnie was pretty useless at it because she went and got 'baby-juice' all down her dress.

Now, the baby-juice-stained dress was enough to get Billy-Boy impeached but unbeknown to the world, Monnie-Wonnie remains on Hilly-Willy-Hater's payroll until such time as Hilly-Willy becomes president and makes Monnie-Wonnie a senator.

Why has it taken so long, you may ask? Well Monnie-Wonnie and Hilly-Willy-Hater are not stupid. For the last couple of decades they have been gathering support from all over the world for their support-group W.A.S.S. (Women Against Sucky-Sucky).

My undercover operators in the Hilly-Will-Hater camp have secretly informed me that the night before the presidential election, old Donny-Wonny is going to be found in a hotel room with Dora-the-Whora from my QLV. Now Dora-the-Whora will suck a shitty-stick in exchange for half-a-lager and once old Donny-Wonny is caught, well his chances of being Mr Prezzie-Wezzie are all over.

That leaves Hilly-Will-Hater at the helm with Monnie-Wonnie as her Vice (a fitting title), who both have billions of WASS members from all over the world.

If Hilly-Willy-Hater becomes the next Prezzie-Wezzie then men all over the world will have no choice but to commit Harry-Carry because sucky-sucky will be outlawed in all corners of the globe!

Don't believe me? Well, suck-it-and-see!

#2016-06-09 13:11:02 by Barry1 @Barry1

@twilightsmith

Unfortunately Ken, the die is already set. The winner of the upcoming Presidential elections has been all but decided. This website is never wrong in its bold predictions, after all.

As can be seen here, CLINTON will almost certainly be the winner.

https://blog.chinalovematch.net/blog/article/US-Presidential-Race-and-Global-Affairs/3

"News Online today reported that Hillary Clinton is the presumptive Democrat candidate for president, according to latest delegate tallies.

Bernie Sanders' campaign quickly pushed back saying the media rushed to judgment because the count included superdelegates and was far from settled. Even Clinton suggested that people should hold off, though noting she was 'flattered'.

It was always going to come down to this. Trump against Clinton. Clinton against Trump.

As usual, this website has been at the forefront of political perspicuity. Making bold predictions that time after time have been proven correct, weeks if not months before the actual events unfold.

CLM should be proud of itself. It's not only a top shelf dating website, but a paragon of news reporting and prediction also.

The next prediction?

It is clear to this writer that CLINTON will be the next US President. Trump will be sadly yet decisively defeated.

Remember, you read this bold assertion HERE first".

#2016-06-09 14:36:48 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@Barry1

As usual Barry, you are full of perspicuous shit! My story (above) is more believable than yours, lol (rofl)

#2016-06-09 18:15:45 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@Barry1

You also asked = 'The next prediction?'

Well let me tell you. I seem to becoming quite good at predictions. In fact I have made 2 predictions at my school during the last few months and both of them have happened just like I said they would. I am therefore now being hunted down by all-and-sundry as I become known as 'Fortune-Fox'.

I predict that a well-known member of CLM will make an announcement in the very near future. The announcement will come not only as a shock, but also as a complete curved-ball, left-field surprise, leaving other well-known members reeling as if they have been hit by a train.

When the announcement comes, remember that you heard it here first.

In future, all donations for personal predictions go towards the 'Fortune-Fox Foundation For Future Failures' and must be paid for in cash.(bug)

#2016-06-11 21:53:53 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1

"Barry, you are full of perspicuous shit! My story (above) is more believable than yours"

Yes, you're correct Paul.

But you forget one thing.

My story was based mostly on fact, yours was based on fantasy.

Quite entertaining and well written, mate. (clap)(clap)

#2016-06-11 21:58:16 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1

"I predict that a well-known member of CLM will make an announcement in the very near future. The announcement will come not only as a shock, but also as a complete curved-ball, left-field surprise"

Hmm, let me see.

I predict that you're at last going to marry a nice Chinese lady.

This indeed would come as a complete shock to all the regulars here.

If this is so, will you be wearing a white suit with a pink carnation, or a black suit with a red rose at the ceremony? :^):^)

#2016-06-12 15:30:00 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@paulfox1 - Paul, please tell me that you're not planning on coming out of the closet, are you? That's the only thing I can think of that would be as shocking as you are hinting at. (rofl)

#2016-06-12 18:43:13 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@JohnAbbot

I wasn't going to reply to your comment John, but then I heard Barry's dulcet tones echoing inside my head saying, "Go on Paul, humour the old barstud, he doesn't get out much."

Well, as for me coming out of the closet and declaring I am gay, it is less likely than Barry going back to Tina, paying for her daughter's overseas education whilst moving to the Bahamas and then impregnating Tina with octuplets in the cabin of your private jet. lol

I trust the above comment eases your mind?

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