Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Neil Yaun prides himself on knowing a little about everything, despite no formal college education. He is self-educated, with a love of Chinese culture focused on their history and traditions. Growing disillusioned with the direction America is taking and his negative experiences with American women he is seeking a new path in China. He plans to teach English in China. This blog is about the journey to China and all the pitfalls along the way.
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By Neil Yaun
2401 Views | 5 Comments | 6/28/2010 5:27:48 PM

Ahhh what dreams are made of

I ran across a strange phenomenon yesterday as I was pondering what to blog about when I had a debate with a Chinese lady about why I would want to stay in China when I live in such a wonderful country like the U.S. She seemed hellbent to get out of China at all costs. This was an interesting thing because until this point all of the Chinese women I have spoken to have all preferred a man to come to live in China.

She seemed very offended at the fact that I would not just want to visit China, but to live there. The conversation got pretty heated as she said that it was not natural for me to want to live in another country. She even asked me what my nationality was, of course, I told her I was American and this only stirred her even more. She could not accept that America could be anything less that what her mind says it is.

What I'd like to do more than anything right now is to set the record straight on what America is really like, but as John Abbott said about focusing on the positives rather than the negatives of any place. I will just say that America is not what she once was and leave it at that for now.

I also realize that China will not be what my mind see's as a utopian paradise. I know that the reality is that it will hold as many hardships as it will wonders for me to discover, and that I will have to adjust to a new world that is unlike anything I have ever encountered before. However, this is part of what makes it an adventure and something worth doing.

It will require the ultimate sacrifice though. I will have to say goodbye to my world that I've known for nearly ten years, and friends who have been my family for just as long. They are happy for me, but at the same time I feel as if there is some brewing tension as the days approach for my departure. It will be a take a long time to adjust to being away from my family.

I have gained much more confidence on how I will handle the transition in the Chinese culture, mostly because of the help from everyone here at CLM. It has been your knowledge and advice that gives me strength when I am in doubt. Time is slipping by now more quickly than ever and there ain't no stoppin this train now that it's rollin. It's mixture of excitement and absolute terror and I can't wait to see where this adventure leads.

I know this trip is going to lead to something great and fantastic, despite all of my bad luck in the past. The funny part is that it's probably going to end with a happy ending, something many people say doesn't exist anymore.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2010-06-28 21:41:56 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Nice article Neil. Just so you'll know I did couch my requirement about staying away from attacks on persons or countries by adding that constructive criticism was acceptable. I think most of us accept and agree that America could probably do with some constructive criticism right now, especially self criticism. But America is not alone in that regard. If you were to take a seat at the G20 right now I think you'd be challenged to point at any participant that doesn't need to clean up its own back yard ASAP.

#2010-06-29 01:41:27 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Neil, if I can add my two cents' worth, one thing that I found helpful during my two years in China was to try to avoid arguing at all costs. Although you are in the odd position of wanting to argue against America rather than for it, it's still argument and not a very useful form of discourse in China. Very little can be accomplished in China by arguing, and anything that can get done this way could be much more constructively done in another fashion. I think you will be a lot happier and more successful if you consider yourself on a mission to discover why the Chinese you are speaking to believe what they do than if you go about trying to persuade them toward your point of view. If you adopt this "observer" attitude, as I like to call it, I think you will find more peace of mind there

#2010-06-29 02:07:58 by thedragonb1 @thedragonb1

I wonder what the woman you chatted with is so anti-China about. Did she state what she disliked about China? What did she find at fault and what does she think is so good with America? Obviously she must think we all have it made here! But I think if she was shown the problems and troubles of America she wouldn't have such a ROSEY vision of America. Not that I do not love living here, but I think it all comes down to being happy with your HOME wherever that may be. It's about finding the good in people and places that is important. There is no such thing as a country paradise, but you can always work at trying to achieve that contentment no matter where you live. I've said it once before:

"You control your own happiness"

#2010-06-29 15:25:13 by aggie1987 @aggie1987

Be courageous and move forward neil.

#2010-07-01 15:24:38 by moonshadow @moonshadow

Go for it, Neil.

I guess that good English teaching is still winner in China. I would love to have such a good plan myself. I sense they are welcoming people.

Now, do not believe there are not serious problems in China. History,even recent, was so harsh!, now it is economy that bites people in many ways.

And, please, take full measure of cultural shock: this is a whole different universe were you are going to live in. Important to note that quest for personal happiness (as individual) is a relatively new concept in China.

Family, clan, groups, teams came always first. Personal thinking is exploration, most probably experienced as frightening adventure.

You take this for granted, in your culture. Those two are not the same world. Now in Canada, I wouldn't go to live USA nor

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