Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Beautiful
Chinese
Women
of
CLM
Beautiful
Asian
Women
of
ALM
我出世在一个美丽的国家,经历了动荡的时代和历史的变迁,终于回到了祖国。当岁月积淀女人的智慧与理性,我终于剥下华丽与虚荣,学会积累生活和人生的体悟,我在这里与大家分享生活的心灵感悟,感悟人生的真谛。I was born in a beautiful country, Vietnam, and lived through the turbulent era and the history of changes, then finally returned to the Mother China. With years of accumulated wisdom and feminine rationality,I finally peeled off the gorgeous and vanity. I am here to share with you inspiration, love, hope and thankfulness and their role in understanding the depth and true meaning of life.
Articles :
27
Views :
181601
Comments :
505
Create Time :
2012-06-03
This Blog's Articles
Index of Blogs
Index Blog Articles

Please objective look at yourself 请客观地审视自己    

By Xin73
5788 Views | 19 Comments | 10/22/2012 2:19:16 PM

请客观地审视自己

在中国儒家传统文化中,讲究的是“宽以待人,严于律己”。也就是对待他人要用宽容的态度,但要用严格的标准来约束自己。但是在现实生活中,很多人往往都会本末倒置。用自己的一套标准去衡量别人,评价别人,但是对待自身这个标准早就无影无踪。为别人设置严格的标准,本身就是“苛责”的一种具体体现,而对自身降低标准,同样是“放纵”的一种表现。因此,当我们面对别人的缺点和不足时,在善意提出之时也要同样反省自身。

每个人都有选择自己的生活方式的权利,因此充分尊重他人意见尤为重要,我们不要武断地评价他人的生活,对于他人对自己看法的表达也就不能完全套用我们自己的标准。不同的个体有着不同的价值取向,我们应当在理解的基础之上,尊重彼此的价值选择。请大家想象一下,如果我们每一个人对自己的要求严格一点,对别人的要求宽松一点,人同此心,心同此理,我们工作和生活的氛围就会轻松愉快许多。相反,我们面临的只有无尽的误会和烦恼。因此,请你试着用宽容博爱的眼光去看待他人,看待世界。这样你才能真正体会到人与人之间真正的快乐,才能够用客观的眼光审视他人,检验自己。每个人的个性,特点不同,任何时候都不要以自己的标准苛求他人,只有求大同存小异,我认为那才是为人处世的智慧所在。

这个世界本来就没有固定形成的模式,只有不断地突破自我,便能找到真正适合自己的道路。更客观地看待现在的自己,用全新的视角审视自己,才能拥有广阔的未来。每个人对自己生活标准的要求都有所不同,因此不要试图用自己的标准去衡量他人的生活。每个人都不是你现在看到的那个样子,也许在你看来的缺点,正是他人能够幸福生活必不可少的养分。在沟通了解的基础上,试着去理解他人的生活,尊重他人不同的意见和不一样的生活方式,这样才是解决矛盾化解危机的重要手段和方式。我相信每一个人都想得到别人的尊重,不论是总统或者是囚徒。当你想到别人尊重的时候,你尊重你自己了吗?有时,少点给别人难堪,就是在别人的心中点亮一份希望。人们常常会朝你希望的方面发展,哪怕是萍水相逢的陌生人。

品行映照的是我们的灵魂,一个人如果品行修练不好,就会感到灵魂不安,容易犯下错误,即使试一次微不足道的错误行为,也会给以后的生活带来挥之不去的阴影。这种不良记录终将受到应有的惩罚。有时,一个人不良行为还会对社会造成伤害。一个人的名誉,能力要想得到社会公众长久的认同,必须坚持在每一件事上都为自己的态度负责。在我们生活和工作中,你今天种下什么种子,将来必定收获什么样的果实。这就是人们常说的因果定律。

由于我们每个人成长过程中的生活环境不同,教育背景不同,在待人接物中存在着差异,我们的生活习惯也带有强烈的个性,任何事情都具有差异性,这是正常也是普遍的。但是由于我们大家目前为了同一个目标共处于CLM。即使对他人的行为举止,思维方式虽然不欣赏、不赞同,也不能因此而排斥、攻击和毁谤他人。既然我们之间存在着相同的目标,那么就该为这个相同的目标接受他人的不同。所以我们应该有一颗包容他人的心。善良仁爱具有无可伦比的力量,它能使人敞开心扉。善待社会,善待别人,并不是一件复杂,困难的事,只要心中常怀仁念,生活或工作中的小小善行不过是举手之劳,却能给予别人很大帮助。人的一生应该是施以爱的一生,这样,我们能活出真正的自我,获得一个充实而美好的人生。

我希望大家能明白《交友网站》的真正含义。既然是交友我们都是带着道德,文明和愉快的心情来这里,共同的目标是找朋友或者找爱人,不是来这里找对象攻击,谩骂,毁谤别人的。我很欣赏CLM,同时也很感谢CLM为我们创造这样一个国际交友平台,让我在空闲的时间来到这里认识很多朋友和拥有自己的博客。我喜欢欣赏美好的事物,所以我写博客以自己微薄之力为自己喜欢的网站点缀空间。纯属个人爱好,别无他意。

最后我要说的是,这里有论坛和博客,只要喜欢谁都可以发表自己的文章,我的每一篇博客内容纯属是个人对某些事情的体会,不值得有些见不得光的人以匿名来攻击和毁谤我,如果你把攻击和毁谤别人能够换来你的快感,请你认真的审视一下自己的德行或者去问下心理医生你自己是不是心理已经变态了!在这个国际性的网站,你的言行举止不但体现你的个人行为,更是影响到一个国家的人文形象。这里我引用Sara博客中的一句话:“当你还在中国的传统文化之道德修养、人伦礼俗门外的时候,请慢一点去敲西方文化的大门,以免消化不良。”我再次忠告攻击我的匿名人:明智之人令人敬畏,狠毒之人令人痛恨,无礼之人令人鄙视,滑稽之人令人不屑,古怪之人令人排斥。嫉妒别人之人,是一个心胸狭窄的人,嫉妒人家,无非是怕别人比自己强。但是,怕也无济于事,嫉妒不能给自己增加什么好处,反而会更加显示出自己的落后,狭隘。不要以为匿名攻击别人不知道你是谁,你的大名网站的工作人员早已存档。请自重!好自为之!

写这篇博客,是匿名人对我的攻击所促成的,如果各位有不明白的地方,请移驾到我的另一篇博客《爱情没有寿命,没有极限》,看最后两个匿名人对我的攻击。阅读约翰在那里说的话,在此非常感谢约翰的理解。

感谢各位的阅读与理解!

Please objective look at yourself

In the Chinese traditional Confucian culture,cultured is "Tolerant of others, exercise self-discipline ". Is to treat others with tolerant attitude, but want to use strict standard to restrain oneself. But in real life, many people tend to put the cart before the horse. Use own set of criteria to measure others judge others, but to treat their own standard long ago without a trace. For others set strict standards, this itself is "excoriation" a concrete embodiment, But to oneself lowering of standard, is also a "indulgence" of a kind of expression.Therefore,when we face other people's shortcomings and deficiencies, In the goodwill of the proposed want to also reflect on their own.

Everyone has to choose their own way of life right, thus fully respecting the opinions of others is very important, we should not arbitrarily evaluation of the lives of others, So for others to express his opinions and can not completely form our own standard. Different individuals have different value orientation,We ought to be in on the basis of understanding, respect each other's value selection. Please imagine, if each one of us to own request strictly a bit, 发or the request of others a little loose. People feel and reason the same way about this phenomenon,We work and life atmosphere will be relaxed and happy many. On the contrary, we are faced with the only endless misunderstanding and annoyance. Therefore, please try to use tolerance philanthropic vision to look at others and the world. So you can really experience the real happy between people, can be used objective eye look at others, examine ourselves.Each person's personality, characteristics of different,Any time don't make your own standard exaction others,only seek more common grounds while reserving differences, Is the wisdom of conduct oneself in society.

In this world there is no fixed pattern, only by constantly breakthrough self, will be able find really suits own road. More objective look at yourself now, with a new perspective to look at themselves,will be able to have a bright future. Everyone on the requirements of their own standard of living are different, so don't try to use our own standard to judge the lives of others. Each people are not are you now see that way, maybe in your opinion of the shortcomings, this is exactly what others to happy life indispensable nutrient. In on the basis of communication and understanding and try to understand the lives of others, to respect others different opinions and different way of life,This is how to solve contradiction resolve crisis an important means and methods. I believe that everyone wants to get the respect of others, regardless of is the president or a prisoner. When you want to get respect from others, You learn to respect yourself? You understand that want to get other people's respect first learn to respect their own truth? Sometimes, less embarrassing give to others, is in the hearts of others to light a hope. People often will toward you wish to aspects of development, even the meet by chance of strangers.

Conduct reflects our soul, if a person conduct practice is bad, will feel uneasy soul, easy to make mistakes, Even once a tiny-little mistake behavior, also can give later life bring lingering shadow. This kind of undesirable record will were justly punished. A person's reputation, ability,want to get the public identify with,must insist on everything for oneself attitude responsible. In our life and work, you plant today what seed, will harvest what kind of fruit. It is people often said that the causal rule.

Because every one of us in the process of growing living environment different, education background different, in manner of dealing with people in to exist there are differences, our life habits with a strong personality, any things all have difference, this is normal is also common. But because all of us at present to the same goal in a total of CLM. Even for other people's behavior, ways of thinking though not appreciation, do not agree with, also can't so rejection, obloquy,attack and calumny others. Since we exist between the same goal, then for the same goal to accept other people's different. So we should have a tolerance of the heart. Kindness and compassion is so unparalleled power, it can make open one's mind to. Kind to social, kind to others, is not a complicated, difficult works, as long as the heart often cherish compassion, Living or working in a small good deeds merely lift a finger, but it can give people of great help. Person's life should give to love of the life,in this way, we can live out the real self. gain a fulfilling and the good life. Sometimes, a person of bad behavior will cause harm to the society.

I hope everybody can understand the "Dating site "true meaning. Since the aim is to find friends, our carry moral, civilized and happy mood to come here, the common goal is to find a friend or lover, not come here to attack, abuse, dispraise others. I appreciate CLM, At the same time is also very thank CLM for we create such an international friends platform, let me in the free time to come here know many friends and learn more knowledge, I like to appreciate the good things, So I write blog to myself poor power for oneself favorite web site to adorn a space. Purely personal preference, no other meaning.

Finally I want to say is,here there are forums and blogs, just like anyone can publish their own articles, my every blog content is purely personal experience about some things the apperceive, not worth some unpresentable a person with anonymous to attack and calumny me, if you put the attack and slander others can get your pleasant sensation, Would you please seriously look at his own virtue or to consultation doctor you whether psychological have abnormal condition! I really worry about you see my blog have hurt your body! In this international website, your behavior is not only reflect your personal behavior, is more influence to a country's culture image. Here I quote Sara blog in one sentence: " When you are outside of the door of the traditional Chinese culture of moral and ethic, please slowly to knock on the door of western culture, in order to avoid indigestion.” I once again advice to attack my anonymous people: The wise man make people revere ,vicious man let people hate, rude people let people look down, droll let people disdain, eccentric let person repulsive.Jealous of others people, is a narrow-minded person, jealous others, nothing but lest others better than yourselves. But, afraid also of no help, jealousy can't give oneself increment any good,instead will be more show oneself backward, narrow. Don't think anonymous attacks others don't know who you are, Your name site staff already archived. Please be self-dignified!Please behave yourself !

I write this blog, if everybody have not understand place, please go to my another blog " love has no age, no limit ", look at the two anonymous people how to attack me. Reading John there say, in this thank you very much John's understanding.

Thank you for reading and understanding!



Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 19) 1 2 More...
#2012-10-22 16:03:15 by llyz @llyz

Hi, 我喜欢你的文章, 非常客观的一个表达。但我有个建议,既然写了表达了就不要在乎别人对你任何的攻击。 就像你说的, 你在这里写微博是为了点缀这个网站, 帮着把这个网站做的更好,而且你也喜欢这样做。 我觉得这样就很好了, 你开心地做你自己, 不需要在乎别人如何来评判, 因为我们都是成人, 大家知道什么是好, 什么是不好。爱本身就是一种宽容,当我们不能阻止别人对自己的看法时,我们只要调整好自己的态度就好。好的东西永远是在正面的。很希望能读到更多的你对人生的理解。 谢谢!

#2012-10-23 17:19:37 by Grace172 @Grace172

to llyz "但我有个建议,既然写了表达了就不要在乎别人对你任何的攻击。"我赞同你对作者的安慰。我只想再说多一点,我也希望xin73 不要在乎,意思是希望她不要生气。但我很赞同她写这篇文章。虽然读起来能闻到一丝火药味。但我觉得有必要宣扬正气。因为无论是在这里的博客还是在其他博客,你都常常看到那些肆意谩骂和攻击别人的文字。
我能理解她的气愤。也佩服她的勇气。我就没有她那样的气魄,因为我不知道如果我遭到莫名的攻击我是否能气定神闲,所以我不敢写博客。
当今国人的素质如何我们有目共睹。我现在要出国旅游都不敢跟团去,就是怕丢脸。而这里是国际网站。所以我很佩服她写这篇文章宣扬正气。希望能有更多的人阅读。更希望大家阅读的时候能用平和的心态。发表不同看法可以,但要论事不伦人。不要人身攻击。

#2012-10-23 20:32:58 by shlshl @shlshl

很喜欢看你的在这里文章,文章的语言表达方式也是人的生活方式和态度的折射!!!希望在这里能再看到更多!

#2012-10-23 21:42:31 by llyz @llyz

谢谢Grace172,也谢谢你让我分享了你的观点。

是的,希望xin73's不要生气。 不管多少,大家都会为这个社会的正气做出自己一份努力的。哈哈,继续用你热情写你的blog, 很期待能读到你更多的文章喔!

Thanks!

#2012-10-24 08:55:49 by Tyler72 @Tyler72

Hi Xin73, i cant say Im a big fan of your blogs. I find the English translations very difficult to read and to me the content is overly flowery. That said, you will not find me commenting as Anonymous. I syand by my opi ions and Im not embarassed to have others know that it was me who wrote whatwvwr I have written.

When you put yourself out there in the public sphere, ie when you post your thoughts for all to read, you are also opening up yourself to whatevekr comments those readers want to make. That is just how it works. You can comment back, but admonishing or reprimanding others on how they express their opinion of what you were able to freely write as your own opinion in whatever tone or language you chose could be considered hypocritical by some.

Just stick to your convictions and offer supporting arguements for your case. You do not really convince others to agree with you by calli g them rude or any other name. You may gain support and agreement by offering further clarification or supporting evidence for your opinion though.

Also, dont worry yourself to much about annonymous replies. If they have so little conviction or are too ashamed of what theyve said to even sign their name to it then you should not let it get to you. If others dont like it or disagree, well then, they dont have to read it. If they have bothered to make any reply at all, obviously you have reached them on SOME level.

If you really are blogging for yourself, then BLOG FOR YOURSELF.. and take the higher position, not bothering to validate their attacking posts with any response at all.

#2012-10-24 11:09:39 by meiziqingqing @meiziqingqing

站在阳光底下,收获阳光的同时有时也会晒伤皮肤的,何必介意。呵呵

#2012-10-24 12:33:47 by meiziqingqing @meiziqingqing

站在阳光底下,在收获阳光的同时也许偶尔会晒伤皮肤,何必介意。呵呵

#2012-10-24 20:45:40 by xin73 @xin73

Hi llyz, Grace172, shlshl and meiziqingqing
感谢几位的阅读,理解和安慰。说实在谁遇到这样的事情都会生气,毕竟我们都是有七情六欲的凡夫俗子,不是不食人间烟火的神仙。但气过不要执着就好。从这件事情让我体会到人生是一个多棱镜,总是以它变幻莫测的每一面反照生活中的每一个人。不必太过介意别人的流言蜚语,不必担心自我的思维的偏差,坚信自己的眼睛,坚信自己的判断、执着自我的感悟。用敏锐的视线去审视这个世界,用心去聆听、抚摸这个多彩的人生,给自己一个富有个性的回答。在这个世上,没有任何人能够赢得所有人的满意,我们总是遇到不同的人,对于他们,需要不同的资质来应付。比喻,遇到一个有魅力的人,那么我们需要的就是自制力;而耐力则是在我们感到痛苦或虚弱的时候才会需要;对于那些侮辱谩骂的话,我们更需要的是耐心。生命的价值取决于自身,除了自己,没人能让我们贬值。所以,我不会跟随别人的眼光来去,这样会逐渐暗淡自己的光彩。我相信你们会理解其中的道理。

#2012-10-24 21:34:51 by sisi0923 @sisi0923

前段就钓鱼岛事件,那几个匿名者围着我骂,我不予理会,匿名者有本事你用注册名光明正大的骂。

#2012-10-25 13:51:23 by xin73 @xin73

Hi Tyler72
I admit that my English is very crappy,Because I'm learning English. I have is try our best to translation.I'm not a writer or celebrity, don't need to have fans.

I understand that, since my article on the public to share with others, should not worry and fear of being how to comment.But some of the people who make trouble out of nothing not to evaluate the content of the article,Their anonymous deliberately to my personal slander,When against my anonymous people were other members say she is sneak,unexpectedly someone couldn't contain gas aboveboard comment to me and said she didn't like me to write something,she commented that I wrote the article is long and deep, there is no readability......I really feel bewildered to her, since she don't like me to write articles, that why to read?From her words I smell out she has the nature of evil.Her comment has been deleted, I know reason what's,I was too lazy to investigate, after all, this world of foolish people have many.I believe there is moral quality of the people will not at random to go against others.

A person,it is important to know one's own limitations.In this world, no one can win all the people satisfied, we always meet different people, for them, need different qualification to cope with.For those who insult curse words, we need more of is patience. The value of life depends on their own, in addition to oneself, nobody can let us devaluation. So, I will not follow other people's eye lights come and go ,this will gradually dim myself lustre.

I believe my own eyes, trust myself judgement, clinging to the self inspiration. With a keen eye to look at the world, listen, touch the colorful life, give yourself a rationality answer.

In this once again thank you for your suggestion and understanding.

Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 19) 1 2 More...
Comment
To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space. Ask Xin73 a Question : Click here...