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Peter lived for nearly a half-decade in China, including two as a Peace Corps volunteer, and is the author of Socrates in Sichuan: Chinese Students Search for Truth, Justice and the (Chinese) Way. It is the intention of his blog to foster the sort of intercultural understanding necessary for long term relationships.
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Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself    

By Peter V
3446 Views | 7 Comments | 5/14/2010 1:10:38 PM
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My name is Peter. Let me introduce myself and my blog by riffing off of an old "Hair Club" commercial: not only am I a blogger for CLM, I'm a client as well. That is, like you, I am using this website in the hopes of finding a meaningful relationship.

The reason that I've been given the honor of blogging for CLM has to do, perhaps, with the nature of my experience with China. A lifelong student of the culture, I most recently taught in China for two years (in Chengdu, a city that you will be hearing more about in the course of this blog), wrote a book about the experience (which you'll also be hearing more about in the course of the blog), and have returned to China regularly since. Soon, I will be making another extended stay in the Middle Kingdom.

In this blog, I will be speaking about Chinese women--that's sort of the point of the whole website after all, isn't it? And you might well ask: what relevance do the musings of a middle-aged American on this topic have? To which I would reply: Just as Proust said that no man is a mystery except to himself, so perhaps those within a culture can never see themselves with the clarity and objectivity of an observant interloper. So that it is at least possible that the thoughtful reflections of an informed outsider can provide insights that those within a culture themselves do not possess. Perhaps the best example of this phenomenon is the 18th century Frenchman Alexis de Tocqueville, whose reflections on America are still read by those seeking to understand the spirit of our nation. At the very least, a perceptive foreigner might be able to better explain that culture to his own countrymen using examples and analogies that are more comprehensible to them.

Admittedly, then, mine is the viewpoint of an outsider, but one who has studied, lived in and written about China. I also truly love the country--its people, its places, its traditions--and I hope that affection comes through in the course of this blog. For the record, though, I do have some experience with Chinese women. During my two years of teaching English at a Chinese university my students were mostly twenty-something females. Over the course of my time there, I became quite familiar with the worldview of this generation--a generation that, like the "me" generation or "baby boomers" has its own title--the "ba ling hou" (those born after 1980). In addition, I counted many thirty- and forty-something Chinese females as friends and colleagues and am still in contact with a fair number of these. Finally, I have dated Chinese women in all of the aforementioned groups. So I like to think that my reflections on this topic have some validity, although that is ultimately for you to decide.

That being said, I make no pretense to possession of the "truth" on the immense and inexhaustible topic of Chinese women. In all I write, I am merely offering up one Western male's admittedly biased perspective on his past, present and future interactions with Chinese women. By the same token, however, I don't think Chinese women have the final word on this topic either. A Chinese woman's perspective would obviously be different than--but not necessarily more accurate than--that of a perceptive foreigner. The ultimate truth about a culture is perhaps ultimately unattainable. If it is to even be remotely approached, this must come through consideration of multiple perspectives. Consider these ramblings as one of innumerable possible points of view.

Lastly, I want to say that I joined CLM somewhat skeptically (as I do most things) and became interested in blogging only after a recent, brief stay in China convinced me that the website is a legitimate forum for those who are serious about establishing a long-term relationship with a Chinese woman. Since I believe nothing plays a greater role in personal happiness than the finding of a suitable life partner, to the extent that this website assists individuals in achieving that elusive objective, it is carrying out what the late writer Raymond Carver called "a small, good thing." And if this blog can play some role in helping that process along, it will have achieved its aim.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 7 of 7) 1
#2010-04-23 21:55:10 by panda2009 @panda2009

Peter,
Admittedly, then, mine is the viewpoint of an outsider, but one who has studied, lived in and written about China. I also truly love the country--its people, its places, its traditions--and I hope that affection comes through in the course of this blog.

You are a wonderful person! I had read many your discutions on the web site of SiChuan Normal University. Are you willing to have a student named Panda? I hope to follow you to learn more things.

Regard!

#2010-04-27 09:51:31 by msnothing @msnothing

Just a quick note.
I came, I saw, and I am keeping an eye here =)

is it the truth that Chinese women like to browse through blogs but not intend to leave a comments?
Well, let's wait and see...lol

#2010-04-29 22:34:51 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Thanks for looking. Hope you keep me honest. I look forward to your comments.

#2010-05-14 09:08:17 by newjennie @newjennie

I read your essay about meeting a Chinese beaty. Some parts I agree, some parts I do not agree with. I don't think all Chinese women are the similar, which are thought to be so by many Americans. Most Chinese women are independent, very caring, devoted into family, they are more sacrificing than American women. They can do almost everything for their husband and their kids, they put them in front of themselves always. Sad thing is, Chinese man don't know how to love their wivies, and arreciate their devotion and love. I am not saying American man are perfect. Usually, they are more gentlely, but more and more American men do not want to marry, they could have their girls for sex, they do not want to have kids, they can do whatever they want and spend all the money they earn on themselves.

#2010-05-14 09:15:10 by newjennie @newjennie

I haven't finished yet.
So I don't think we should not talk about CHinese women or American men in general here, it is a big topic. They do have some common ponits, but everyone has his/her specialness, which makes this world pretty.
Above all, There are American man who is not nice, the same to Chinese.But I would like to believe that majority are good, either Americans or Chinese.

#2010-05-15 10:40:08 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Thanks for your comment. I agree that everyone has her/her uniqueness. But you yourself point out some general characteristics in the first comment. I think we can accept both. I would even add that in addition, in some sense people are all the same: we all want ourselves to do well and health and happiness for our friends and family and peace in the world. So I think we are a combination of uniqueness and sameness. And we need to honor and accept all of these parts of ourselves.

#2013-02-08 00:28:57 by sandy339 @sandy339

Hi Peter

I like your writing so much,so I am back to your first one. Yes, I think "small and good things" could give us greatest comforts and make our lives worthwhile......

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