Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Gareth is an Australian who has lived in JiangSu, SuZhou (Heaven on Earth) for a few years - he is a keen observer of the Chinese people, Chinese culture and the changes that are occurring in China at break-neck speed. He can often be found on his a nightly 'perch' in front of his bar in the famous Bar Street in Suzhou, talking to the locals in his bad Mandarin, teaching the 'flower-selling girls' English, eating street food and smiling at the local chengguan (neighbourhood police). Gareth also has several other businesses in China around Business and English training. His experiences have been varied and interesting and his years in China have taught him to be wary of promises but excited about prospects, not a bad situation to be in!
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Perils of China: Red Flags When Dating Chinese Women    

By Garreth Humphris
10543 Views | 50 Comments | 6/9/2014 5:22:20 AM
(Showing 31 to 40 of 50) Previous 1 2 3 4 5 More...
#2015-07-01 13:06:19 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I am pleased to report I have finally posted Anniehow's great translation and added it here for all the Chinese members to read. I have also posted a thread on the forum apologizing to everyone, especially Anniehow and Gareth, for my long unintended delay. Thanks so much Anniehow, for this great translation, and for your wonderful patience.

And to you, QinQL, thank you so much for your continued presence and support, and for putting up with my sloth. It is always great to read any comment by you. It brightens my day.

#2015-07-03 22:38:10 by melcyan @melcyan

Your words "Too bad that my English is not good enough to understand this article. I have read it three times carefully, but it still all seem puzzling to me.
I hope it can be translated into Chinese." motivated me to request a translation from Anniehow. I am looking forward to your comment on Gareth's words.

#2015-07-17 21:48:09 by QinQL @QinQL

I read the blog article in English and in Chinese times after Anniehow translates it. With her help I could understand Gareth’s better in the blog.

The hottest discussion here is one of his famous sentences "I am surprised that humankind has lasted so long with such dense males around!" that our John and Anniehow talked about it. Yes, it seems human nature that man has. But, but just because we are human, someone likes Gareth and lim we have known from their blogs, they both are excellent in taking care of themselves well, being able to control themselves and respecting others very well. not “some hot-shot play boy” or “Casanova”. And i think it is one of main reasons that the two members are the most warm welcome here.

To Gareth himself, we could see he is “Certainly not ‘instant marriage’material by any measure”. He would like to come to see if he would meet any kinds of flags(include red flags, orange flags and green flags which dear Anniehow mentioned) or not between contacting with the other to help him to make the biggest decision in his life. From it we could see he is serious with his life, he is really far, far,far,far,far from being a Casanova!

To lim, why he held back in the lotion episode. Having past some time, i am not sure i could remember it well, if it is the second time that he flew to china to meet Lily. So i come back and find the part from Lily’s series quickly. Oh, not too bad, it is right. It is the second time he flew to china. He also tell us what his mind at that moment. Let me show it again here “The temptation was lurking all around us when we were alone, but I would have been irresponsible to act on my desire. “Not now!” I wanted to have this lovely Chinese woman in my life as my wife, not just in my bed for a few hours of pleasure.”, he countinued, “I had lost her respect for me as a man. I wanted to get her respect back first by giving her the life what she has always wanted.  A family life, with love and respect for each other, with enough money to live a comfortable life. This was my dream and nothing should stop a man from his future. I felt happy because I could think clearly about my situation at that moment and didn't let my body to totally control my mind.” How wonderful what he has shown us! We could see a responsible and respectable man that has attracted our Chinese women deeply.

Is there anyone like lim there in a corner that i am luck to meet too?

I think there are plenty of female members here have the desire above in their search. Western men here who are searching for your soul mate and wish to be attracted by the one that you are interested in, could you see and understand some from it? Though we would like to hear what kinds of chinese women you western man desire for.


这里讨论最热烈的是我们的John和安妮都提到的gareth的这个经典句子“我们的男人这么迟钝,而人类居然生存了这么长时间,真是让我惊讶!”是啊,这似乎就是男人本色啊。但是,但是,就是因为我们是人类,像Gareth和lim这两位非常优秀的男士,他们有很好的自控力和尊重别人的优良品质, 而不是花花公子和花心大萝卜(安妮在这里把“hot-shot playboy”翻译成花心大萝卜,形象!有趣!)。而且我相信这是他们最受到我们喜爱的主要原因之一。

关于Gareth, 我们知道他“当然不是闪婚的料”。他会仔细观察他和同伴的交往是否会遇到红色旗子的警报,和可以容忍或忽略的橙色旗子信号。这样可以帮助他做出婚姻决定。从中我们可以看出,Gareth是位认真对待女性和婚姻的好男人,远远、远远、远远不是花花公子!

说到lim,为什么他在涂润肤露那一幕中能控制自己。好像这一幕是他第二次到中国见百合。我不能确定是否记得那么清楚。翻开他以往的博客,很快就查到了。呵,看来我的记忆还不错!让我把Zoe的翻译展示在这吧 “每当我和她独处时,这种诱惑就会围绕我们,但我也知道,如果我迎合自己的欲望对她做了什么将是很不负责任。“现在不行!”我希望能拥有这个女人做妻子,而不是片刻的欢愉,在她面前我已经失掉了作为一个男人的尊严,我希望给她想要的生活,以这样的方式再赢回她的尊重。一个有爱和尊重的家庭,一个不用为钱担忧的安适生活,这是我的梦想,现在没有什么能横在一个男人为梦想而前进的脚步中。我很自豪自己在这一时刻还能冷静地思考,没有让身体控制大脑。”多精彩的内心表露啊!让我们看到了一位负责任又懂得尊重他的女人的男人。



#2015-07-17 22:00:02 by QinQL @QinQL



安妮,你知道吗,我是先阅读你的翻译,再回过头看英文,还是遇到不明白啊,又查看你的翻译,这样帮助我理解了他的英文。我想,这个过程的确花了我不少时间。但值哈,提高了我的英文阅读能力。 还发现, 你的中文翻译精彩之处呢。真的,安妮, 你真的很棒。


姐妹们,我上面回的是中英双语的,期待大家都能看懂我写的。可能这里的男士们会有些不懂我的中式英语 (giggle)

#2015-07-18 13:49:31 by melcyan @melcyan


I understand your Chinglish and I want to see more of it.

Your Chinglish is a hundred times better than the computer translation of your Chinese words.

#2015-07-18 22:26:30 by anonymous13625 @anonymous13625

The translation is good, but not very good... especially inaccurate sometimes. Of course if I translated this article, I am not sure I would do better.

I know I have to learn from ones here a lot...

#2015-07-19 08:08:16 by Anniehow @Anniehow


"Is that someone at the corner that I am lucky to meet?" 晴姐你的这句话把我逗笑了。我们的大熊是不是单着呢,我给你当下侦探去.....




比如说他说道 “若果一个中国女人跨越了柏拉图式友谊的界线,就说明你们有戏了。”评论中Melcyan说中国女人在这件事上绝对不会主动迈出第一步,你们认同吗?




There are some mistakes in my translation that I didn't notice until it was posted. Who is willing to be my proof reader? ;)

Several guys you have mentioned are gentlemen. However, there are different Western guys out there....

Frankly, I am more curious to know your opinions on the content itself. Especially when it comes to Chinese women’s mindset and behaviors, do you ladies agree with him or not?

For example, he said “When a Chinese woman cross the boundary of a planotic friendship, game on!” Melcyan commented that Chinese ladies would never been the one to take initiative in an intimate situation, do you agree?

Do you agree when Gareth says “Chinese people will take away your bank cards, personal time and space?”

I agree that Westerners do value a solid friendship and they should be good friends while dating, which is a solid foundation for a good relationship or marriage. They should share similar values and outlook on life as well as similar hobbies. On the other hand, most Chinese people emphasize compatibility in family conditions and if they can get along instead of focusing on if they are good friends. Chinese people tend to think relationship can develop deeper after marriage. When the kids come along, a stronger bond to keep them together is the blood ties and family bond (still not friendship). What are your take on this?

Gareth says sometimes we face a choice between our Chinese family and our foreign boyfriend. Sometimes we have to stand by the foreign boyfriend. I think it happens even when we are married to a Chinese guy. Personally I think it is crucial to side with your husband on important decisions so as to protect your nuclear family, provided it is reasonable to do so. What is your take on this?

Do you think there are more challenges and complexity dating a foreigner after reading this article?

#2015-07-19 11:54:06 by Barry1 @Barry1


"The translation is good, but not very good... especially inaccurate sometimes"

Thank you for your honest assessment of Annihow's translation, Anon13625.

Let me say however that as a native English speaker, after having witnessed at first hand Annihow's excellent English abilities, I can commend her English as being of the highest order.

I therefore would be extremely surprised if Annihow's translation was anything else but first class.

No, I'm not related to Annihow nor do I know her personally. But on this occasion, I feel that I should let my feelings be known, for what they're worth. (think)

#2015-07-19 14:20:02 by QinQL @QinQL


Welcome you to pointed out and show us what's the accurate. It will help us to understand Gerath's thought and learn more from you as the same as from Anniehow (handshake)

#2015-07-19 16:47:16 by melcyan @melcyan

Translation is mostly about capturing the intent of the writer's words. Please let us know where Annie has missed the mark translating the intent of Gareth's words. If you are only looking at the translation sentence by sentence to make your judgement then it is unlikely that you will be able to make an accurate assessment.

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