Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
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Gareth is an Australian who has lived in JiangSu, SuZhou (Heaven on Earth) for a few years - he is a keen observer of the Chinese people, Chinese culture and the changes that are occurring in China at break-neck speed. He can often be found on his a nightly 'perch' in front of his bar in the famous Bar Street in Suzhou, talking to the locals in his bad Mandarin, teaching the 'flower-selling girls' English, eating street food and smiling at the local chengguan (neighbourhood police). Gareth also has several other businesses in China around Business and English training. His experiences have been varied and interesting and his years in China have taught him to be wary of promises but excited about prospects, not a bad situation to be in!
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Perils of China: 3rd Date Marriage Proposal    

By Garreth Humphris
4594 Views | 13 Comments | 6/30/2014 10:16:02 AM
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(Showing 11 to 13 of 13) Previous 1 2
#2014-07-04 14:13:59 by melcyan @melcyan

@Barry1
I know you are joking. Acceptance and acknowledgement of your own imperfections and your partner's imperfections is a crucial to a healthy growing relationship. Sometimes the environment of loving acceptance even helps us to grow beyond our "limitations" to become a better person.

#2014-07-05 15:53:26 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

@aussieghump
Hello Garreth,
Thanks for responding.
About 15 minutes after posting,...I recognized my possible error.
I have "conditioned mindset" that may be more "Universal" than many.
Sorry if I did not post on correct blog/thread.
I just felt I needed to respond to your post!!

Ah,...I agree that cultural, family, and history components may all be challenges.
But there must be some who "see beyond",... regarding the "traditional pathways to love".

I have only limited experience (4-5) regarding Asian women but,... most have been like you say.
It is only Chinese(Asian) way or,... Highway !!
Ha ha ha !!!
I will not submit to this.
Must be two equal meeting of minds and hearts,... regardless of cultures

I am willing to speak with you about parents' "love test" but only in private unless,... you convince me otherwise to make public.

My parents taught me about "love" test !!
Is more than just "love" test though,...
It is the temperament, character, intelligence, and personality test.
It is only a very "basic" assessment of a person if,...each person answers the questions honestly.

But just to give you a clue,...my parents were psychiatrists, psychologists, music teachers, and metaphysical ministers.

Way beyond "religions" but embracing all.

Peace and Blessings,
Yin Ting Yu aka,...Gongji.

#2014-07-06 22:03:00 by aussieghump @aussieghump

GongJi, now I see where all the evaluation of love came from! Deep stuff!

I do not profess to be very experienced nor very knowledgable academically about the topic - my observations are purely personal and based on my experience.

I think we all hold some type of 'love test' in our heart and mind - the standards we aspire to and the attitudes and situations we don't tolerate!
Ideally, this is the main aim of the blog - to highlight how our social and cultural background can 'shape' our acceptance and 'hold points' as well as the speed/transgression of the relationship.

My general observation is that Chinese women put greater emphasis on 'trustworthy' (doesn't lie, drink excessively or be playboy-like) and 'honest' (talks about feelings) and 'good man' (a propensity to show kindness/support to her and family) and a viable income source to support family while westerners apply more subjective criteria (thus slowing the process) such as beauty, love and commitment, intellectual stimulation, and happily ever afterwards sentiments.

Being attuned to your biases, and understanding where both your viewpoints intersect with others is an important self-test. So, the aim of the blog is to promote awareness to both males and females of CLM how this pathway is viewed by the other party!

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