Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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Our Lives Through The Keyhole 键孔里的生活    

By Imi
5324 Views | 69 Comments | 9/23/2018 2:12:07 AM
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#2018-09-26 05:55:23 by Imi5922 @Imi5922



"What reason has been given for refusal?"


According to the officer in Hong Kong who interviewed Janessa, we hadn't submitted enough photos of us. And the other thing she didn't like was the fact that we met on a dating site that mostly helps western men and Chinese ladies to find meaningful relationships. It was a red flag for the immigration officer because Janessa seemed to have the intention to find a western man, not a Chinese man, and move to abroad from the very beginning. It made her think that Janessa didn't really look for love but a free pass to a foreign country.     



#2018-09-26 06:11:38 by Imi5922 @Imi5922



"Please good friend, tell me that magic that did you used, I want to have a "slant almod shaped eyed wife."


Ferlo, I don't think I used any magic. I rather believe it was magic that had found me. And the moment it had found me, I realized what it was. That's the key ingredient to finding someone, my friend--discovering the magic in someone's eyes and keep seeing it until you die.



#2018-09-26 09:20:08 by melcyan @melcyan

"What reason has been given for refusal?"


According to the officer in Hong Kong who interviewed Janessa, we hadn't submitted enough photos of us. And the other thing she didn't like was the fact that we met on a dating site


Regardless of the reason given the evidence that the relationship is genuine must be compelling in the written part of the process. If the evidence is weak in the written part of the process it is hard to make up the ground in the face to face interview, especially when an immigration lawyer was involved in the preparation of the written part.


Do the original written application again knowing what you know now. Have it in your hand when you are interviewed. Admit your mistake. Admit your fear of bureaucracy and English legal jargon. Apologise for not facing up to your fears and over trusting your immigration lawyer. Let them know that had you presented what you are now holding in your hand their time, your time and many tears would not have been wasted. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 


Before you walk into the room they will have read your case notes again. They may already have the mindset that this meeting will be a waste of their valuable time. Redoing the application yourself ( I will help if you want), the theatre of having it in your hand and apologising for not working through your fears and submitting something similar first time round creates an opening for a new mindset in the people interviewing you.


When you speak your story again, place a trail of photos in the correct sequence on the table or floor (if there is no table) in front of you. Speak out loud, proud and passionately the love story that is contained in these photos. This kills two birds with one stone. It addresses the main weakness identified in the initial application and serves as a crutch to guide your words. The words, the photos and the accompanying body language between you and Janessa will combine in a way that convinces them your relationship is 100% genuine.

#2018-09-26 17:21:51 by Barry1 @Barry1



Extremely wise words, Melcyan.  Every point you made is well thought out and excellent. I know Imi will heed what you say. Given this, I feel a 99 per cent chance of success will be the end result!   (clap)(clap)



#2018-09-26 23:22:10 by QinQL @QinQL

Imi 是我在这里最喜欢的blogger之一。追看他的博客很多年了。自从他写的第一篇博客开始,我和这个网站上的好多中国女会员一起,都喜欢上了他的故事,觉得Imi是位特别真诚,对爱情专一的好男人。从他的篇篇博客后的comments可以感受到我们对他的肯定和热情。Imi那时的个人征婚资料的点击率一下子就进入前十。我那时也常常点击lmi 的个人资料查看,可是人家太抢手了,哈哈。

看了Imi的一个回复,知道了一个拒签的理由, 我想,可能也是最主要拒签的一个理由。所以,问题的关键点不在说明Imi的真诚、Janessa的深情,而是用自己的言和行帮助签证官判断这份感情和真诚。我很赞同melcyan的留言,“When you speak your story again, place a trail of photos in the correct sequence on the table or floor (if there is no table) in front of you. Speak out loud, proud and passionately the love story that is contained in these photos. This kills two birds with one stone. It addresses the main weakness identified in the initial application and serves as a crutch to guide your words. The words, the photos and the accompanying body language between you and Janessa will combine in a way that convinces them your relationship is 100% genuine.” 


刚刚看完Imi的这篇博客,还有大家在这里的留言。 由于我的英文水平有限,阅读起来慢, 时不时还得查查有道词典来确定某些单词的意思,所以回复迟了。但愿还能赶在John 制作成PDF前。 

#2018-09-27 09:14:51 by Imi5922 @Imi5922



Melcyan, there is no written application in the process. Maybe you have it in Australia, but in Canada there is none. We have an application form that you have to fill out and mostly contains yes and no answers and also dates of specific events regarding our lives and relationship to each other and our families. The written application that you refer to where you can speak your mind and try to convince Canada Immigration about the validity of your relationship is non-existent.


That being said, you tell me, how can an immigration officer decide, after going through dry data about our lives and relationship and looking at copies of photos of us and chat histories on QQ, whether our marriage and love for each other are genuine or not? She can't. Hearing out only one applicant in the case is not fair. Asking questions from the same applicant that should have been asked of the other applicant by giving him a simple phone call isn't fair either. For example, the officer in Hong Kong asked a question from Janessa that sounded something like this: "How can your husband prove that he has visited you six times in China when I only see three copies of his previous visits in the documents he provided to us?"


It would have been an easy answer, but the officer asked the wrong person because she was too lazy to pick up the phone and ask me directly. My response would have been: "Since we submitted our application and supporting documents to Immigration Canada, I had visited my wife three more times, and I can prove those trips with the entry stamps in my passport."


I know, Melcyan, you think that we didn't provide enough evidence for the immigration to have a positive result. My view is that every country's immigration rules are different. It sounds like immigration rules in Australia can give you a fair chance to prove your case in your own words by writing a written application with your thoughts and feelings in it. We don't have that "luxury" here in Canada. However, I have the chance, after having paid a crazy amount of money for our case already, to do that in person in our second hearing.


The Canadian immigration system is not perfect. The people who work at Canadian consulates all over the world are not perfect. Put those facts together, and your case might have a 50-50 chance to get approved. However, I have to play by immigration rules and regulations. I can't just bring along to the hearing what I want. Every additional document and evidence that we want to represent in support of our case, we have to submit to Canada Border Services Agency and Immigration & Refugee Board, one copy to each agency, twenty days before the date of the hearing.


I could tell you examples of how much I would have failed if I filled out the application forms on my own. No disrespect, but you couldn't have helped me, either. If we just missed submitting one essential document, we would have prolonged the processing time. We would also have lost the opportunity for Janessa's son to join his mother in Canada in the future. And these crucial documents are not even mentioned in the application form. Every case is different because people have different life histories. And the lawyer has to gather documents according to those stories.         


#2018-09-27 13:19:14 by yuan2599 @yuan2599

Really sympathize with the encounter between Amy and Jane Lisa. We have a similar experience, more serious and cruel. Who said "true love is invincible"?

"The only enemy of true love is the national border." “How many couples have been separated by national borders? I don’t know, the Immigration Bureau knows.

My dream: to realize the global village as soon as possible, a village chief is the leader of the earth, human beings have no national boundaries, no army, human beings do not have the respect of life and color, respect each other, love each other to help others, and dedication to glory.
Thus, human intelligence is used more to beautify the universe, to create warships to beautify the earth, to support the military's possessions and to beautify life.
My fiancé and I decided on August 8, 2012 that the visa application was rejected in 2014, and the possibility of re-passing the visa is extremely small. We are forced to change direction and heart to the beautiful China! Maybe we are old, we can be alone and guard each other in the distance.
True love is hard to find, and it is difficult for foreign countries to cross. Invite the workers of immigration bureaus to open a life path for true love!




#2018-09-27 18:30:40 by melcyan @melcyan


I am 100% on your side. I desperately want your appeal to be successful. I believe that the core process for Australia, Canada and USA is essentially the same. 


I have been through this process in exhaustive detail for my partner's niece and her husband. My partner can be demanding at times. She made it clear to me that failure of the application was not an option and everyone was depending on me.  (Have I ever mentioned that I am a very nervous and anxious person?) 


I read everything that was in any way relevant many times. After all the paperwork was completed I "switched hats" and made out I was the one reviewing the application. I looked for red flags that the relationship was not genuine. Then I went back to the original application and made the answers idiot proof for approval.


I tried to get a copy of the form that you are using in Canada but I was unsuccessful. I watched an official Canadian youtube help tutorial instead. One piece of information presented in the tutorial is very important. At any time in the process that you want to add additional helpful information you can on a separate piece of paper. This important bit of information makes the Australian and Canadian process very similar.


Photos from each of your 6 visits to China were absolutely vital to show the progression and depth of your relationship. They were not all supplied. Your lawyer did not make your application idiot proof. Your lawyer failed you. He took your money but did not approach the process with anywhere near the same desperation that I did for my partner's niece and her husband.


Any information clearly related to demonstrating that your relationship is 100% genuine has to be welcome and permissible at the review. The bottom line is "Is the relationship between you and Janessa genuine?" Any evidence that you have to support this is welcome at the review.


You need to have a crystal clear view of why the visa was not granted and then present specific counter-evidence. Then both of you follow with a passionate summary of the A to Z of your relationship using a platform of more than 3 years of photos in sequence. The body language, passion, laughter and fear will be the same as you will use to tell others in the decades to come about the moment your lifelong relationship was hanging by a thread.


@John Abbot, You know an immigration lawyer. Maybe he can point out where I am in error or even offer better suggestions. Can you get his opinion please?

#2018-09-28 14:05:06 by Vanessa99 @Vanessa99

@ Imi,

I am "dancingshoes" that we got to know each other some years ago through the bogs here and I think you should know me? I remember you married to a nice Chinese woman but I haven’t read all your blogs here except this recent one that I happened to read today, and I would like to give you some suggestions based on my own experience.

I married to a Canadian guy too. We married in China, and I am pregnant now. But until last week we just submitted the application of the permanent resident to Canada Immigration in the classification of spouse sponsorship. Because this is our last choice, as we know it takes too long time to get the procedure done. Please allow me to introduce my situation.

At first, I applied for a temporary visitor visa that enables me to visit my husband in Canada. Because I thought this was the fastest way for me to get to reunite with my husband. Yes my application was approved and I got the message to submit my original passport for visa in just 4 days after I submitted my application online ( no interview, no medical checkups). I attached a letter in my application to explain like that, “ I married to a Canadian guy and I am now pregnant and the baby is due in December. I need my husband by my side with me and our baby when I give birth so this is my intention to come to Canada. ” And my husband also attached a copy of emails with his employer in his invitation letter to explain that his health insurance would cover me, and we are both comfortable to pay the costs during my stay when there is any.

But unfortunately we found that his health insurance covers me yes, but except the childbirth! And we searched about the cost of childbirth in Canada without the insurance. It is a big amount for us! It makes no sense for me at all to come to Canada to give birth if we have to pay the big money, because I have all insurances and benefits here in China.

So we kept looking and we found another solution - work permit. We think with the work permit, I would be covered by the health insurance benefit of childbirth in Canada. So my husband sent my CV to a company nearby his office and the HR in this company was interested. So we arranged a video interview with their director. We made it. This company needs engineers and they offered me a position similar to my current position. And they offered me the salary that is almost same amount as what my husband earns. After the further discussion with each other, this company agreed to arrange my entry and my holiday as that - I join them and start to work now, and then give me 3 months holiday for childbirth, after that I come back to work, and then it is my husband’s turn to take the parental leave to look after the baby at home. My husband accepted it. The parents in Canada will share the parental leave in the first year when the baby is born. I am older than 40, and I am pregnant but this company still offered to hire me. I think this case will never happen in China. I think there is no employer in China would hire an older pregnant woman.

But this company has never hired a foreign employee, so they would hire a consultant to get the administrative procedure sorted and get the license to support me to get a work permit. My husband talked to the consultant and explained to the consultant in details about our situation. The consultant analyzed our case and then suggested us to submit the application of the permanent resident in the classification of spouse sponsorship now as soon as possible, based on the fact that our baby is due in December. This is the safest way for us. Because the work permit procedure also takes many weeks if I apply from China, and we are not sure if we could get the work permit or not before I am able to travel the long distance carrying a baby in my belly. There are risks for us. And the consultant told us that, if we submitted the application of permanent resident now, our case is expected to be approved by next March. So we decided to suspend this solution of work permit. The company which intended to hire me understood my situation and they said they would keep the position for me until next year I arrive in Canada.

So we came to the last choice – submitted the application of permanent resident. We also tried the solution that my husband joins me here in China, but it turned out to be more difficult. Because it is easier for me to find a job there in Canada, but not easy for him to find a job in China if he chose to relocate.

Imi, I think you can try each solution as I listed above, but the work permit is the best way and it takes less time than the permanent resident application. I think many Chinese people succeeded to come and work in Canada with this solution. And I think the Canadians are very nice and easy to communicate. They are humanistic.

P.S. I think your wife could share some costs with you during this difficult time, as you said you were broke now. It is not the proper way to get you under the pressure all alone by yourself. My husband travels many times to me, and he paid everything when he was in China with me but I decided to pay for his next flights and any other costs here when he comes back and forth in the next a few months. He is not rich either, and he still has payment for his mortgages and loans. He is also getting embarrassed in his finance. 

#2018-09-28 21:26:41 by Imi5922 @Imi5922


"I am 100% on your side. I desperately want your appeal to be successful."


And I am 110% aware of this, Melcyan.


I made a mistake last night. I woke up around 1 am and read your comment. After that, I couldn't go back to sleep. It was much easier to point at my finger at anyone else but me for the failer of our case. By the time I had to wake up, around 4 in the morning, I had concluded that I could not go back and change the past. What happened in March is nobody's fault but mine. Right now, I have to look forward and tell my story and also overwhelm anybody I have to face in the hearing with evidence, passion, and a heartfelt statement of my love for Janessa. 


If anybody, it is you, Melcyan, who knows I am capable of doing that.


Thank you for your unwavering support even though I can be hard-headed sometimes!   

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