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Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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Our Lives Through The Keyhole 键孔里的生活    

By Imi
2106 Views | 69 Comments | 9/23/2018 2:12:07 AM

Chinese Love and Marriage through the Keyhole

I'm holding this piece of small device we call a cellphone in my hand. Actually, I'm hanging to it for dear life even though I feel a profound hatred for it. The only thing that stops me from throwing it against the wall is the fact that my wife lives in it. Yes, it's true. My wife is so tiny that she fits in my phone, living her life away without me. What a world we live in!   



我紧紧攥着它,这个被我们称之为电话的小东西。我的生活,甚至全部生命都要依赖于它,我恨它,真想把它摔成碎片,扔的远远的,可我不能,因为我的妻子在里面。是的,小小的她就住在这个小东西里,孤独的她被我攥在手里,却与我相隔千里。这是一个多么滑稽的世界啊!



I met my wife, Janessa, three and a half years ago at the beginning of 2015. Almost four years have gone by, and I'm at the point right now where I hate to see her face on a two-by-four-inch tiny screen. It somewhat feels like looking through a keyhole where you can only see a specific part of the room and never its entirety. Sometimes I get a glimpse of Janessa's dress and can hear her shoes knocking on the sidewalk or get the restaurant din in the background when she's out with her friends, having something to eat, after work. I can imagine where she is, what she may wear, but I can never smell her hair or feel her touch.



2015年初我与诘妮莎相识,2016年结婚。将近四年来我只能在这个二乘四英寸的小屏幕上看到她的脸,有时我能看到她穿的裙子,听到她穿鞋子或跟朋友走进饭店的声音,我可以想象她当时的样子,听到她的声音,可无法闻到她的发香更无法感受她指尖的温柔。够了,四年了,真的够了。



I have to say, imagining things is not enough anymore. After three and a half years, they should be a reality by now. Unfortunately, life is not fair to us. We've been married for a little over two years, and we are still not together. We still don't have a date for our second hearing and are tired of waiting. If that weren't enough, my wife's family doesn't believe that our case can take this long, and  talk of stopping my wife from moving to Canada, reasoning I can barely come up with the money for our case. The fact that I'm poor and not some wealthy businessman from Canada caused them, if not hate me, say many negative things about me, which is enough to make Janessa cry. Seeing her cry verifies her family's judgment. I'm a worthless, poor man who's incapable of bringing his wife to Canada, and sometimes I wish she would have met someone better than me. She doesn't have to bear this struggle for me. She doesn't have to be alone for years after years. She could easily have a rich man in China or in the West to satisfy her family's wishes.



这种用想象来维持的生活真的够了,生活啊,请对我们公平些吧!我们结婚已经两年多了,至今仍无法如正常夫妻在一起生活。下一次听证会还遥遥无期,妻子的家人已经怨声累累,他们无法理解也无法接受当下的现实,为何我如此我能,结婚这么久还无法把妻子带到加拿大。我非富非贵的普通穷光蛋的身份,也让他们并不看好我们的婚姻。诘妮莎夹在她的父母家人和我们的爱情之间,难过地一次次流泪。屏幕中看着她的泪水,我有时希望她当时没有碰到我没有喜欢上我,我何德何能,让这么一个好女人难过,让她孤独这么久,她本来可以嫁给一个富有的好男人,无论是在中国还是在西方。



Since I told her how painful it was for me to see her cry, she stopped crying. She always tries to be cheerful when I talk to her, but I know how she really feels inside. She's sad and lonely, but for me, she controls her emotions because she cares about me. As to my concern of her family, my wife only said they don't understand the feeling she has for me and that's why they talk too much sometimes without thinking.



她的眼泪让我很痛苦,她看到我如此痛苦,便从此不再在我面前流泪,还鼓励我,说些让我开心的话。她懂我,我更懂她,我知道她内心难过,孤独,因为关心我却又表现的很开心,并安慰我,别把她家人的话太当真,他们并不理解我们的感情。



We both know what the reality of the matter is. If we got refused for the second time around, we might have to get a divorce because I can't pay any more money, and Janessa can't wait any longer. She deserves a man who can really take care of her financially and emotionally, and I deserve to be alone.



可是,我俩心里都知道马上要面临的现实是什么。如果第二次听证会后仍然被拒,我们大概只能离婚,我已经身无分文,没有能力再申诉,诘妮莎也不能再等下去了。她值得拥有一个比我更好的男人,能够给她爱也能在经济上保护她,而我,只配从此孤独终老。



These are the facts that keep me up at night. These are the facts that we both have to accept even if we don't want them to. Janessa is the woman I love, who gives me the feeling that only Asian women can give to a man. To put it simply, losing her would devastate me to the very core of mine. However, nothing has lost yet.



马上要面临的现实让我彻夜无眠,事实是无论我们多么不想可也必须接受。诘妮莎是我深深爱着的女人,而她给我的关心和爱也让我深信:这样的感情,一个男人大概只会从一个亚洲女人那里才可能得到。一想到可能会失去她,已使我万念俱灰。



I'm nervous about the hearing, but at the same time, I can hardly wait to tell our story to whoever I have to face. We have nothing to hide. With my nerves under control, I believe I can convince anybody how much we care for each other.



我正紧张焦虑地等待第二次听证会到来,同时,也迫不及待地想跟那些可以决定我命运的人诉说我们的故事。我无比忐忑却光明磊落,我相信我可以向任何人证明,我和我的妻子诘妮莎深深地爱着对方。



I hate my phone, but I can't let go of it. I'm hanging to it for dear life, constantly looking through the “keyhole” because I can't let her go. She's my wife, for Christ's sake!



我恨我手里这部叫做电话的小小的东西,可我无法放手,它装载着我的全部生活,我不时通过键孔看进去,我无法放手。



上帝啊,她是我的妻子!


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Comments
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#2018-09-23 02:11:57 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

To All Members: Imi Needs Our Help

If you've just read the above blog, then you know what Imi and his wonderful Chinese wife are going through in trying to get approval from Canada Immigration for her to obtain her visa to join him in Canada and live with him.

We at CLM and ALM want to support him by having as many people as possible provide testimonials to him, describing how he has been blogging with us for many years, what a fine person he is, how his blogs have moved us with his sense of caring and with his decency, how he so clearly has been working for years to find a great Chinese match, and how a few years back we learned through his blogs that he had finally found someone very special and had married her.

Please give us your thoughts in a comment on this blog post, but please sign it with your CLM or ALM username. No Anonymous comments please.

We will take the best of the comments and transcribe them into a lengthy PDF of support for Imi. That will be a letter of support from CLM, written by myself followed by each of your comments of support for Imi. 

Please do describe how you've come to know Imi through his blogs and his comments, and how you know that it is absolutely impossible that Imi is insincere regarding his relationship with his Chinese wife. Imi is simply following his heart, pursuing his dream and deeply in love with the woman he is married to.

Please use your own words to express your own feelings.

Thanks for your help, 

John Abbot

#2018-09-23 07:02:20 by Barry1 @Barry1

To Whom It May Concern

I first became aware of Imi through his writing on the ChinaLoveMatch.net website in June 2013. Some five years ago now.

 

Over this time, Imi has written sixty or so blog articles, primarily concerning his love for China and his love for Chinese ladies, most especially his now Chinese wife, Janessa, who he met in early 2015.

 

Through his many articles, we've become familiar with his wide-ranging experiences re being a new immigrant into Canada; cross-cultural issues involved with this; plus also many interesting stories concerning his trips to China and his innate understanding of and appreciation for, Chinese culture. Imi's sensitive, caring attitude towards those around him is undeniable.

 

A constant theme over past times has been Imi's caring and love for Janessa. Through his honest, delicately written words, I've been touched by his situation. I was shocked to the core when first I found out that for some reason, Janessa had been declined a Canadian residency visa.

 

"How could this be? Are the Canadian immigration authorities blind!" were my incredulous thoughts at this time.

 

If there is such a thing as justice in this world, then I call for justice for Imi. Justice for Janessa. Justice for a profoundly loving couple who already have been forced to endure the unendurable, to fathom the unfathomable, in attempting to comprehend why this invidious situation has occurred.

 

My personal particulars are on file with the management of this website. I would be most happy to be contacted directly at any time, by anyone in authority who is dealing with this case, in order to both elaborate upon and substantiate the views expressed herein.

Respectfully
Barry Pittman

 

 

#2018-09-23 12:16:37 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Like  Imi, I myself am a blogger through chinalovematch.net. Like Imi, I have a Chinese wife. Like Imi, my wife and are working our way through the immigration process (though in the United States, not in Canada). The difference—and it is all the difference in the world—is that my Chinese wife is with me as we struggle  through the process. Imi, however,  is separated from his. Quite frankly, I don’t know how I would fare in his position.

 I only know Imi through his blogging. But anyone who has read his writings on his relationship will know that he is sincere, and anyone who has ever loved will know that he is suffering because he is separated from his love.Love does not know international borders, as I and many others on this web site can attest to. But one would hope the country that has provided an individual with citizenship would want to provide the individual with at least the chance for happiness, which is all Imi seems to be asking for by asking to be with the woman he loves. I hope you can find it in your heart to grant this request

#2018-09-23 17:16:33 by melcyan @melcyan

 I first came to know Imi through his words on CLM blogs which he started in 2013. Imi’s openness and honesty were reflected in his writing right from the start. I have taken a keen interest in what Imi has had to say ever since he started blogging on CLM. We have a common bond. We both have similar difficult family backgrounds and we share common values. We both have a deep respect for Chinese culture. We both have a Chinese partner who we love completely and a Chinese partner who loves us completely.

 

Imi is very honest, independent and idealistic in his approach to life. He bares his soul in his writing on CLM and his emails to me. I have no doubt at all that his relationship with Janessa is 100% genuine.

 

Imi is a good man but like all good men, he has his limitations. He has a distrust of government and bureaucracy. This distrust has lead him to make a poor choice with the handling of Janessa’s visa application. I am now urging him to show complete faith in the commitment towards fairness and justice by those hearing their visa appeal. I am also urging him to abandon his lawyer or at least take on the lion share of the work required for the appeal.

 

Knowing that Janessa’s visa application was rejected first time around left me feeling guilty. I advised Imi to do the application himself and I was willing to help him complete the task. However, his distrust of bureaucracy, combined with not being 100% confident with English legal language lead to him choosing an immigration lawyer to handle the paperwork. In hindsight that was a huge mistake. The lawyer chosen by Imi was clearly not up to the task that he was paid for. It should have been a straightforward task for him to show that the relationship was 100% genuine.

 

I am urging Imi to confront the appeal process in a very different way this time. He has to trust that the process before him is striving to be completely fair. He has to trust that the people charged with hearing the appeal are all fair and just people. While the initial rejection of Janessa’s visa application has been enormously painful for Imi and Janessa, they have no choice but to accept that what was presented in the original application was not sufficient to demonstrate that their relationship was 100% genuine.

 

Imi and Janessa know that their relationship is 100% genuine. I know it. Many others also know it. It is now time for the people charged with the responsibility of achieving a fair and just result for Janessa’s visa appeal to know it too. I am more than willing to be contacted and be questioned on my statement of support for their relationship being 100% genuine.

 

 

#2018-09-23 20:23:42 by oldghost @oldghost

I went through this process 20 odd years ago, but it was Australian Immigration, and surprisingly it appears to be less draconian than the Canadian equivalent.   I married in China, and underwent an intimate interrogation in Shanghai, both separately and jointly, not to mention subsequent medical examination!  internet records, phone records correspondence and personal history were investigated in depth.  I consulted immigration lawyers and was wrongly advised but followed my own nouse.  It took 8 months to complete, but whilst there were hints of suspicion, it was never turned down.  What reason has been given for refusal?

#2018-09-24 00:39:19 by autumn2066 @autumn2066

Sorry for your sorrow, sad for your sadness.

It is shame blocking loved ones and family members away in the name of protecting the interests of a country.I don't understand why many fake couples could get visa easily while some true love couples might be judged as suspectable.Somehow I wish the time of a new world without borders coming soon, and then nobody would be judged guilty by his skin or her tone.  

Best wishes for you and your wife! Keep hope,try your best. (handshake)(coffee)

 

#2018-09-24 11:27:29 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

I, too, have known Imi for a long time due to my connections with CLM. I have been a blogger on this site for many years, and, have had published, over 100 blogs.

What others are saying here about Imi, is 100% true. His love for Janessa has never been questioned, nor has his motives for wanting to be with her. Every one of us seeks happiness in our lives, and, no one should judge us for where we eventually find that happiness.

Although married, Imi and Janessa are forced to live separate lives due to beaurocratic laws that have nothing to do with 'reality'. No matter where we live on this Earth, we are all human beings, and we all deserve to be happy, and not judged or even accused of doing something we've never done, nor are ever likely to do.

Imi is a decent, honest man, who is doing his level-best to do what any decent, honest man would do - to be with, and take care of, the woman he loves.

Our happiness should never be decided by legislation, or man-made rules that dictate to us how someone else thinks we should live our lives.

All of us are inherently 'good' people.

These aren't 'laws' that are being enforced here, they are 'rules'. Rules that are handed down mostly by people who would not want these same rules enforced upon themselves.

No 'human being' has the right to enforce their will upon another human being.

No-one has the right to adopt the 'Do as I say, not as I do', mantra. No-one!

No-one, and I mean, no-one, has the right to prevent Imi and Janessa from enjoying the happiness and love that they have both worked so hard to create for themselves.

#2018-09-24 13:23:35 by ferlo @ferlo

   I have read some of Imi's blogs at the beginning when he joined CLM, and I was always scanning for a new blog from him. I am certanly sure that he is a fime men, he is the kind of writer who is a sincere and honest person and plasm part of his heart and soul in the lines he writes.

   I like him and wish to meet him to chat face to face, exchange opinions about this plataform and have his advice.

   Like him I had visited China, a couple of times; two years ago 2016, during April and May, and last year during December. I visited for cities last year the previous I traveled to HK and from there I went to SZ and Guanzhou. Met few beautiful ladies but unluckily I am still unmarried. 

   Please good friend, tell me that magic that did you used, I want to have a "slant almod shaped eyed wife. 

     Imi, you will succeed, Please be a little patient and have faith in heaven or whatever your religion you may have. You two will succed, remember loves turns the world around. Your friend, Fernando Lopez "Ferlo" 

   

#2018-09-24 13:48:01 by ferlo @ferlo

@Imi 

A Quien corresponda: 
Por espacio de 5 años he conocido a Imi quien es persona honorable, decente, y sincero, en ningun caso creo que el hara mal uso de la solicitud de visa para su esposa. No puedo creer que Imi sea un hombre irresponsable como para convertirse en una carga para el pais en que reside. Por lo tanto puedo avalar su buen comportamiento. 
  Atento y seguro servidor.

 Fernando Lopez.    "Ferlo"

 

To whom it May concern:
For the space of 5 years I have known Imi who is an honorable, decent, and sincere person, in no case do I believe that he will misuse the visa application for his wife. I can not believe that Imi is an irresponsible man to become a burden to the country in which he resides. Therefore I can vouch for your good behavior.
   Attentive and secure server.
Fernando Lopez.
"Ferlo"

Imi, you will succeed and your cause will triumph, just be a little patient and have faith in the all-powerful and / or religion that you profess.
   Fernando Lopez "Ferlo"


Fernando Lopez. 
"Ferlo"

Imi, tu tendras exito y tu causa triunfara, solo se un poco paciente y ten fe en el todo-poderoso y/o en la religion que profeses. 
  Fernando Lopez "Ferlo"

 

#2018-09-26 05:38:20 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

@JohnAbbot

@Barry1

@woaizhongguo

@melcyan

@oldghost

@autumn2066

@paulfox1

@ferlo

 

On the behalf of my wife, I'd like to thank you all for giving us your support in this excruciatingly long process of getting Janessa land in Canada. All your comments are valued with high gratitude by Janessa and me. I will keep you posted on how our case develops from time to time, probably through the forum threads.

 

Since we still don't have an appointed date yet for our second hearing, there's not much else to say but thank you again for taking the time to write your comments! I'm sure all of them will help to push our case in the right direction.   

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