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Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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Our Inescapable Ultimate Destiny    

By Barry Pittman
6968 Views | 78 Comments | 3/23/2017 1:26:19 AM
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#2017-03-26 14:20:49 by Barry1 @Barry1

@anonymous15892

 

I think Lily is a good woman

 

In retrospect, I agree that she is a good person overall, but at the same time, a very ordinary person as opposed to the extraordinariness that I had formerly believed she was.

 

When a good woman met a bad man, she is not lucky

When a good woman met a good man, they both are lucky

When a bad woman met a bad man, other people are lucky

 

Very interesting words.  I hope you are not suggesting though that I am bad?  :^)

 

 

Many good women, when they are younger, they may met some bad men and paid for the price, these painful experiences made them smarter, but still they are not the lucky ones, no one really want to meet those bad men, the prices are really high

 

You keep referring to bad men.  But who is the bad man here?

 

Everyone want to be happy, to be painful and learn from lessons is just a comfort saying for us.

 

Yes, words like these are easy to say but hard to do.

 

 

We born alone and die alone, but when we are born, certainly there are family who take care of us, how can you grow up without them?

 

Why are you talking about AFTER being born?  I was referring purely to the act of being born, not afterwards.

 

We die alone, but for me, I know there are a few people in this world loves me and I can rely on them, they will be sad when I die, the meaning for us to live in this world is to love someone and be loved by someone. Not just men and women, how about your family? you don't have any close family or friends that you love?

 

The fact that there will be people who will be sad when you die is commendable but this still has nothing to do with statement that we die alone.   No one dies for us or in place of us!

As for your question about family or close friends, I have one older brother who smokes cigarettes, uses marijuana and drinks alcohol every day.  All without doing much exercise.  Sadly I think the chances are that I will outlive him.  So if this occurs, there will indeed be no close friends or family whatsoever to leave all my worldly possessions to when I pass on.  I have no childrens, no aunts, uncles, nieces or nephews.

 

 

 

I found that many men think too high of themselves, blame their own faults on others, including many Chinese men, western men and western women.

 

You think very highly of Chinese women. Your statement that "many men think too highly ofd themselves" in fact could be levied at YOU.

 

While many Chinese women tend to think over their own misktakes and learnt the lessons and then move on, yes they are good heart and also their hearts are strong.

 

Are you suggesting that Western men  -  or Chinese men  - or Western ladies, do NOT learn from their mistakes?

Could this statement be regarded as a classic over-exaggeration or distortion of the facts?  Just saying...

 

It is meaningless to be sad over those people who don't deserve your sadness

 

I fully agree with this.

I am sure you are a good, intelligent lady.

But maybe you need to reconsider some of the things that you said that were slightly incorrect.  I value you comments however, thank you.
   (handshake)

#2017-03-26 14:42:33 by Barry1 @Barry1

@anonymous15895

 

So you are talking again and again how much you love lily and how sad you are

 

What the...!  What are you talking about?

 

Where oh where, did you read in my last blog that I loved my ex-partner?

 

Maybe you read someone elses's blog by mistake?  :^)

 

 

 

But when you were with Lily, did you do anything for her?

 

Yes, we had beautiful sex together that she obviously enjoyed!  (rofl)

 

 

 

you said again and again about the bad toilet of Lily's home, and clearly her living condition is not good, instead of talking, did you do anything for her? did you ever help to improve her living conditions?

 

No, we were always too busy having sex!   8)

 

 

Did you pay back the money Lily spent on you?

 

I will repay her for the time she spent on me if you will repay me for the time I've wasted reading and then responding to your outrageous and clearly incorrect comments!  (giggle)

 

 

I really hope other female members here won't be fooled by you

 

This reminds me of the 1971  "The Who" song,, "Won't Be Fooled Again".

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution

Take a bow for the new revolution

Smile and grin at the change all around

Pick up my guitar and play…

 

Lily is very kind to you,

 

She often was very kind, I agree.

 

you use her to write articles to pretend you are a love saint,

 

You are a really charming lady, I can see this.  (giggle)

 

 

if Lily is not too kind, maybe she will write a ugly story about you.

 

Maybe you could write one on her behalf?  You seem to know me and to be in a position to judge me so well, after all.

 

 

It is not fair because this is a one side story, you have used Lily for long time and you never think about your own faults but still keep on using her, God bless you!

 

There are two sides to every story, I agree.

I am no saint, far from it. But I am a reasonably decent, honest and good person.  I am therefore a pretty good catch for someone.  Not a perfect one, but not too bad.

One day I hope you will finally admit this, my old Chinese lady sparring partner.

Blessings to you also, I always enjoy your invariably over-the-top acerbic comments directed to me.  Please write again soon.
  Maybe one day you'll ask me out on a date?  (rofl)

 

 

#2017-03-26 19:59:52 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@Barry1

@John Abbot

 

Jeez.....will you guys please stop bitching about the meaning of metaphors.....

 

Except with the possibility of Chinese, English has the most metaphors of any language on Earth due to its mixed roots of Germanic, Anglo-Saxon, Greek and Latin.

No other language has 'contranyms', or 'autoantonyms,' nor uses them in the way English does, and the high number of homophones, homonyms, homographs, idioms, proverbs, sayings, etc, is just something else that makes our mother-tongue so unique.

 

John, you KNOW what Barry meant; Barry, you KNOW you KNOW that John KNOWS what you meant; and John, Barry KNOWS you KNOW he KNOWS you KNOW what he meant.....

 

Can we drop it.......please? (rofl)

#2017-03-26 20:07:19 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@anonymous15895

So you are talking again and again how much you love lily and how sad you are

But when you were with Lily, did you do anything for her? you said again and again about the bad toilet of Lily's home, and clearly her living condition is not good, instead of talking, did you do anything for her? did you ever help to improve her living conditions?

Did you pay back the money Lily spent on you?

I really hope other female members here won't be fooled by you

Lily is very kind to you, you use her to write articles to pretend you are a love saint, if Lily is not too kind, maybe she will write a ugly story about you.

It is not fair because this is a one side story, you have used Lily for long time and you never think about your own faults but still keep on using her, God bless you!

 

Your comment is classic! Just perfect when it comes from someone hiding behind anonymity. John has said, on several occasions, that members have the right to comment anonymously, and up to a point, I agree, but not when they are abusing another member without full knowledge of the facts.

 

I'll let Barry answer your comments, because quite frankly, I don't think you are worth wasting my time on.....

#2017-03-27 11:44:27 by melcyan @melcyan

@Barry1

 

The week before Christmas my eldest son’s relationship of 7 years ended. It was not his choice. Over the last three months, he has reconstructed himself from the ruins of what he thought was a lifetime relationship and he is now functioning better than he was before the relationship ended. He still experiences pain but he embraces it whenever it occurs and treats himself with compassion. It has been the hardest 3 months of his life.

 

He was wise enough to use quality counselling. He was also wise enough to share his self-doubts with people who knew him well, loved him and were able to help him grow. He keeps a journal and he practices gratitude daily. He does not dump on his ex-partner publicly ever. He is 32 years old and has progressed well beyond where I was at the same age.

 

His level of self-love is healthy and he is quickly learning to be fully present in all his activities regardless or whether they are work, play, exercise or meditation.

 

When I look at how you have handled your break-up with Lily, I realise with even greater clarity how well my son has done. The value of not dumping on your partner is crystal clear. My own partner says you only say good things about a present or past partner in public or you say nothing. A “can do” type of person never dumps on their ex. If you are respectful and not judgemental towards your ex, the biggest reward is that you make it so much easier to treat yourself respectfully and free of judgement. Some men never learn this. I only fully understood this in my fifties. My son understands this in his thirties. Now that my son has become his own master, the world is his oyster!

#2017-03-27 13:05:07 by melcyan @melcyan

@paulfox1

 

Fortunately I can read my partner very well. I know with 100% certainty that my partner loves me. I can see beyond the superifcial appearance of her "negative" words about me learning Mandarin. You can't. My partner truly loves me. When I start from that point I can always make sense of her words and actions.

 

My partner has said similar things about me learning Ballroom dancing. I have proved her wrong. I am now a better than average ballroom dancer.  My older brother says my partner "has my number". He believes that she knew what she was saying and got the results that she wanted. However, becoming literate in Mandarin is much harder. Despite it being much harder and appearing impossible to my partner, it does require exactly the same things for success as ballroom dancing required.

 

-A quality teacher and quality learning partners.

-Practice every day.

-Having fun learning and a genuine problem solving approach.

-A strong belief that I will succeed.

 

I have all of these and I believe that I will become literate in Mandarin within the next two to three years.

#2017-03-28 06:27:40 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@melcyan

Thank you for your reply and I am happy to learn that you will do your best to learn Mandarin. Did you see how quickly Barry jumped in and supported your wife? Barry was married to a Chinese lady for many years yet never bothered to even try and learn Mandarin. (Lazy git, lol)

 

You said:

A quality teacher and quality learning partners.

-Practice every day.

-Having fun learning and a genuine problem solving approach.

-A strong belief that I will succeed.

 

I have no desire to 'split hairs', but how do you define 'quality' as in, 'quality teacher'?

To me, it's like saying 'good teacher' - both 'good' and 'quality' mean everything, yet nothing.

Those of us who teach, all have different styles of teaching. Classroom methodology varies greatly between all teachers.

Therefore, teachers are either 'effective' or not. Effective teachers don't teach, they help their students learn, and in return, they themselves learn from their students.

Effective teaching creates a perpetual cycle of both teaching and learning during every class.

 

As for the other qualities you stated, I couldn't agree more. Good luck with all your efforts.

#2017-03-28 07:02:35 by Barry1 @Barry1


@paulfox1

 

"John, you KNOW what Barry meant; Barry, you KNOW you KNOW that John KNOWS what you meant; and John, Barry KNOWS you KNOW he KNOWS you KNOW what he meant....."

 

Very funny stuff, Paul.

 

I can see that you still have your wonderful wit and sense of humour  - well done indeed!    (rofl)

 

 

#2017-03-28 07:05:51 by Barry1 @Barry1


@paulfox1

 

"Your comment is classic! Just perfect when it comes from someone hiding behind anonymity. John has said, on several occasions, that members have the right to comment anonymously, and up to a point, I agree, but not when they are abusing another member without full knowledge of the facts.

 

I'll let Barry answer your comments, because quite frankly, I don't think you are worth wasting my time on....."

 

Thanks for this support Paul, but in truth I enjoy reading critical comments from this Chinese lady, who has been sparring and criticising me for a long time now.  She clearly is an unmarried person, because I doubt if any man would put up with her!    (rofl)

#2017-03-28 07:14:39 by Barry1 @Barry1


@melcyan

 

The week before Christmas my eldest son’s relationship of 7 years ended. It was not his choice. Over the last three months, he has reconstructed himself from the ruins of what he thought was a lifetime relationship and he is now functioning better than he was before the relationship ended. He still experiences pain but he embraces it whenever it occurs and treats himself with compassion. It has been the hardest 3 months of his life.

 

I am sorry to hear of this, Melcyan.  The pain of a loving relationship terminating unexpectedly is immense, I know this for sure.

 

He was wise enough to use quality counselling. He was also wise enough to share his self-doubts with people who knew him well, loved him and were able to help him grow. He keeps a journal and he practices gratitude daily. He does not dump on his ex-partner publicly ever. He is 32 years old and has progressed well beyond where I was at the same age.

 

You have brought him up very well, Melcyan.  His actions now are in good part based largely upon his upbringing.  As a father, you should be proud of him  -  plus be proud of yourself as well.

 

 

His level of self-love is healthy and he is quickly learning to be fully present in all his activities regardless or whether they are work, play, exercise or meditation.

 

He sounds like a fine person. I am sure he will progress from strength to strength.

 

When I look at how you have handled your break-up with Lily, I realise with even greater clarity how well my son has done. The value of not dumping on your partner is crystal clear. My own partner says you only say good things about a present or past partner in public or you say nothing. A “can do” type of person never dumps on their ex. If you are respectful and not judgemental towards your ex, the biggest reward is that you make it so much easier to treat yourself respectfully and free of judgement. Some men never learn this. I only fully understood this in my fifties. My son understands this in his thirties. Now that my son has become his own master, the world is his oyster!

 

I hear what you say.  I will attempt to stop criticising my ex-partner to such an extent as I have up until now.  Judge not lest ye be judged, after all.  None of us are perfect, all of us are human.  Wise words indeed, thank you, Melcyan.

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