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Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Online Chinese Dating

By Paul Fox
434 Views | 7 Comments | 8/28/2017 2:59:11 PM

Be prepared for the person not to quite live up to the profile.

If I let you into a little secret, John has mentioned, on a couple of occasions, that recent blogs have had little to do with online dating. Let's fix that, shall we?

 

We can talk about the pros and cons of online dating, or more specifically, online Chinese dating, for eternity. Regardless of your personal preference, the phenomenon is not going to go away.

 

Whilst online dating may take away a lot of control from men in general and place it totally in the hands of women, women can't always be trusted with such an enigma, but there's not much we guys can do about it.

 

So for the guys, here are a few thoughts on the subject of online dating.

 

In many Asian countries, online dating, and especially the fantasies attached to it, has been extremely popular for many years now.

With regard to fantasy, did you know that sex dolls are now so realistic that people in Japan are reportedly actually losing their social skills at an alarming rate? I thought that was just down to the advent of mobile phones, lol.

 

 

In the West, it's no longer considered to be 'weird' if you admit to meeting someone online. In fact, telling your friends that you met your partner on the internet is no big deal anymore, it's quite 'the norm'.

 

Whilst online dating used to be reserved for weirdos, it has now become completely socially acceptable. It's quite alarming when you stop to consider how quickly this attitude has changed.

 

I remember it being considered 'weird' to meet via online dating as recently as 2012, yet just a few years later and it's 'cool'!

It just goes to show how many women have adopted the 'follow the herd' mentality.

 

On one hand, you no longer need to worry about being judged by a woman for using online dating, and at the same time, you almost instinctively know that any girl you meet online has probably met several guys before you. She might make up some bullshit story about this being the first time she's tried online dating, but I probably wouldn't believe a word of it.

 

It also used to be true that showing a good picture of yourself without a shirt on would actually increase your chances of success, but then every guy started doing it.

Once the floodgates opened, it became a huge turn-off for the ladies.

 

Remember 'Plenty of Fish'? What about 'Friends Reunited'?

Think about how many different platforms have been and gone since then.

 

To my mind at least, CLM must be doing something right or it would have been swallowed up years ago. I think John mentioned that CLM has been in existence for 9 years now. A huge achievement by today's standards.

 

Whilst many men would agree that if we put women in charge of the reproduction of our species, we would die out pretty quickly, yet it seems that these days many women are not frightened when it comes to making the first move.

 

For guys though, almost every 'pick-up line' has been taken to Mars and back. If you Google 'online dating pickup lines', and then try using them, the chances are that your lady has already heard them a million times before.

 

If there is anything that I have learned in the last few years it's the fact that being genuinely normal, honest and confident, is what tends to work best.

 

Specific 'pick-up' lines only work until they become played out.

When you put your long-term happiness, stability, (and mood), based on your results with women, you're almost destined to become miserable.

Can women really be relied on for anything other than washing our clothes and keeping the house clean?

 

Genuine time, effort and commitment are required to make long-term changes in your life.

Joking aside, when it comes to online dating, it means this - if you only just take the time to try and build a good life for yourself, it will show through in your profile.

This means you'll likely get more responses, and ultimately, more chance of getting a successful date.

It also means you are likely to see more and more members becoming more easily accessible.

All of this comes down to not treating online dating as a job, but as fun. And that's what more and more women appear to be looking for these days.

 

They want to be unplugged from their boring day-to-day office work, and the cool guy on CLM is the way to provide an escape.

 

Therefore, if you take the time to build yourself up, it's likely to show, and online dating will become much, much easier for you.

You'll end up with great photos of your travels on your profile, and, unless your name is Barry, you could even end up speaking a second language in no time. 

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 7 of 7) 1
#2017-08-28 14:57:56 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Wow! Paul really came full turnaround and has gone back to writing about CLM related stuff. I am overjoyed.

I expect that, as with all of Paul's writing, a few eyebrows will be raised at some of his comments. But frankly that's why he has an exceptional loyal following, because he will always bypass political correctness, will always say exactly what is on his mond and will always entertain, whether or not you agree with everything he says.

For example, when Paul writes "Can women really be relied on for anything other than washing our clothes and keeping the house clean?​", I am pretty sure he doeknows that is likely to so with tongue in cheek, and I am almost certain he knows that it will have the more liberated women incensed and the more modernized males fearing the wrath of their female partner just for reading it.

Of course, the Chinese women on CLM are not so caught up with women's liberation run amuck, nor with political correctness gone mad, so they are more likley to be a little put off that he didn't list the countless other things they are perfectly capable of doing to ensure that their relationship with the man of their dreams succeeds. Of course, the man of their dreams is expected to be equally ready, willing and able to contribute their fair share to their mutual lifetime relationship project.

Nicely done, Paul. Right down to the keyword usage. Good to have you back!

 

#2017-08-29 16:00:35 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@JohnAbbot

Thanks, John. As for the comment 'good to have me back', I never really went away.

What I mean is that people who 'follow' my ramblings on CLM should know that I do my best to always speak the truth, no matter what that truth may be.

If some don't like it, well no-one's forcing them to read it, are they?

There IS the proverbial 'someone for everyone' - it's just that, for the most part, we have no idea where to look.

There's an old cliche that goes 'Everything happens for a reason'.

May be a cliche to some, however, not to all of us.....

 

#2017-09-02 10:12:16 by spiderboenz @spiderboenz

"Someone for everyone" is a bullshit concept. For some of us it is more like "no one for anyone," with a predetermined fate in which we spend our lives alone. 

#2017-09-03 13:26:43 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@spiderboenz

It's only a bullshit concept if you believe it to be a bullshit concept.

I also don't believe in a pre-determined fate as such, yet I certainly believe there IS such a thing as fate/destiny, and that we create our own.

There is a wonderful book by Rhonda Byrne called 'The Secret'. I highly recommend you read it.

 

#2017-09-04 14:33:12 by Barry1 @Barry1


@paulfox1

 

" if you only just take the time to try and build a good life for yourself, it will show through in your profile."

An interesting and articulate article, Paul.

 

One thing though that I know has been touched on before needs to be mentioned again.  That is, the importance of honest, contemporaneous photos.  As opposed to glamour ones taken by a professional photographer and touched up to within an inch of their life. Or photos that are ten or fifteen years old.

 

I recently was contact by someone of CLM whose profile photos were truly beautiful. But when we started chatting via online video, she looked way different from the gorgeous profile pics.  I was forced to diplomatically extract myself from the situation as best as I could.

 

This is a continuing problem with online dating.  Folks naturally want to put their best foot forward on their profile. Ultimately though, doing this likely will lead to great disappointment later on, as potential suitors drop them like hot cakes as soon as a video chat occurs, as harsh reality bites.   :^)

#2017-09-04 21:09:28 by spiderboenz @spiderboenz


@paulfox1 No thanks. If I wanted to read pseudo-science I would get a copy of 'Chariots of the Gods,' by Erich Von Daniken. 

#2017-09-06 20:04:46 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@spiderboenz

Good book, sadly total BS though.....

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