Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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OH SH*T!!!    

By Paul Fox
6184 Views | 29 Comments | 11/24/2013 2:35:49 PM

Sarcasm…….”The lowest form of wit” as my mother always said. She was of course, totally wrong because sarcasm at its best, is probably the funniest form of humour that we have. The British are exceptionally good at it and have proven it over the years with classic TV programs such as “Fawlty Towers”, “Blackadder” and of course, “Only Fools and Horses” – all totally hilarious shows based on just about 100% sarcasm.

The Americans were a little slow to catch on, but comedy actors such as Leslie Neilson who gave us belly-laughing classics like “Airplane” and “Police Squad” certainly had a good grip on sarcastic humour.

For me personally, sarcasm can be used in two ways – firstly as an insult or a “put-down” when someone deserves it – or as witty, funny humour.

I saw a "quote" the other day from a famous British comedy actor/comedian who is famous for his sarcastic and quick witted humour - It made me laugh out loud as I read these words -

"You should NEVER call anyone a "Bastard" unless he is a close friend....or a complete Bastard!"

I prefer to use the latter and for those of you who have read my blogs so far will already know that my sarcastic sense of humour can often land me in a lot of “trouble” – especially when it comes to  Chinese women dating, but I just cannot help myself. I seem to be “naturally sarcastic” and love-me-or-hate-me for it – it does not seem to bother me too much, because to me, it is funny!

Whilst I am perfectly capable of “offending” people with my sarcasm, I prefer not to offend unless I deliberately intend to – but that does not stop me getting myself stuck in a “hole” from time-to-time as you are about to find out...

For those of you who are expecting this blog to be about Chinese Girls “Type 4”, I am afraid I am on the third re-write because I do not want the tar-and-feathers brigade to become the Chinese National Firing Squad – so please hang on a bit longer…

So although the British (and the Americans to a certain extent) seem to have a good “grip” on sarcastic humour, I am sorry to say that after living in Perth (Australia) for 13 years, the Aussies still just do not “get-it”!

I often wonder if the Chinese use sarcasm (in the same way that we do) within the confines of their own language?

One thing that I DO KNOW is that Chinese people who use English as their second language will certainly not understand sarcasm in the same way that we British do. I often use it when I am with friends in China (who speak fluent English) and I am still trying to “teach” them how to understand my sarcastic humour.

So when I am faced with a Chinese woman on a dating site who appears to be able to speak perfect English, I am afraid that my sarcasm automatically jumps in and I find myself in a whole heap of trouble…

Case in point…

You have all heard the joke that begins with “A fella goes into a pub…” Well what about one that begins with “A fella goes on a dating site…”?

After reading a recent blog article called “Online Dating and Deception” (and making a few comments there) – I had originally intended this to be a Thread Comment rather than a blog article.  But I thought that as I can write blogs on CLM, I would use the opportunity to write this as a blog article instead of a thread comment (why not?). So here we go…

She was lovely… Her profile photos appeared to be “natural” and not “glamour pics” – I was totally attracted to her and so I made contact. Within 24 hours I had a favourable reply and I was excited!

She gave me her e-mail address in her first reply to me and I quickly took advantage and sent her an e-mail telling her all the stuff about me and included a dozen (or so) photos. Now I don’t know about you guys but I always do my best to use fairly recent photos – a few weeks or a few months old is OK and this is what I sent to her.

The next day I received an e-mail reply that included the 4 photos that she has in her profile. Obviously I recognised them immediately as being the same one in her profile – but now there was a slight difference… they were BIGGER!

Obviously taken with a digital camera and what do you usually get with a digital camera photo? – A DATE STAMP!  As the photos were bigger, the date stamp was evident!

Well, her Primary Photo was taken in 2005 and the other 3 were taken in 2007 and 2008. Does a baby look the same at 8 years old?  Does a ten year old look the same at the age of 18? 

Why would she expect to look the same in 2013 as she did in 2005? – Crazy!

So…. my usual sarcasm took over my fingers as they quickly typed a reply to her – as follows:

“Thanks for your lovely e-mail and your photos. However, these are the same pictures that you have on your profile – do you have any others? In fact do you have any RECENT photos you can send to me, because the ones you sent me are from years and years ago – In fact, they are so old I am surprised you didn’t send me photos of you wearing your SCHOOL UNIFORM!”


My attempt at sarcastic humour has dug me a deep hole, because now she thinks I’m a PEEDO!

Sh*t !!!

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2013-11-24 15:08:27 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

My brother is perhaps the king of sarcasm, and has mastered it completely, to the point that people either greatly admire his clever wit (the minority) or despise his blunt rudeness and apparent sharply critical tongue (the majority). This is evidence that humor, like beauty, is truly in the eye of the beholder. Having spent my entire life dealing with my brother, I can tell you that he seldom if ever truly means to be rude or critical (except towards me) and is, in fact, very clever and witty.

Second only to my brother in being a sarcastic force stand I.

Sheldon, from the Big Bang Theory, is perhaps the best example ever of a person who doesn't get sarcasm. My lovely wife is a Chinese woman who has lived for a good number of years in Australia, and I am here to tell you that the Chinese, and based on her, the Aussies, do indeed entirely fail to "get sarcasm". I find myself frequently (almost daily) having to chastise her for failing to appreciate one of my brilliantly sarcastic and humorous remarks by exclaiming to her (quoting from the Big Bang Theory) "That was sarcasm Sheldon!"

Of course, it is possible that my comment wasn't as funny as I thought it was, but I doubt that.

#2013-11-24 16:21:13 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

It is indeed a real shame that so many people do not "get" sarcasm!
My opinion is that they are missing out on one of the funniest forms of humour that we have in the English language !

#2013-11-25 01:37:26 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

I have to laugh here. I run a foul of my misunderstood humor often with Chinese people.. Once you try to explain it and have to describe just WHY it was supposed to be funny... It will certainly not be funny anymore.

But one particularly EPIC fail involved me explaining how I climbed onto the vanity to better inspect myself and sure enough there was no part of me so beautiful that my adams rib could have spawned something so fetching as this particular "Eve"... And I was promptly called a Barbarian and blocked!!! Wow, not even a chance to applogize and take my foot out of my mouth or attempt an explanation. I swear taken in context that particular comment really was quite funny!

...and anyway, I really am proud of my barbarian heritage... From the one side of the family that sacked Rome, to the bold bloodthirsty seafairers who sacked the brits (and carried pof the choicest of women, religious icons, sheep etc..) to the scalp taking new world barbarians who made the American settlers quail in fear on moonless nights alone out on the prairie. LOL.. Ita all for the better though as Im sure any woman who considers BARBARIAN to be an insult would never really "get" me no matter how long she tried or how ineptly I attempted my explaination. My new ( and only, last, forever) girl not only gets me but loves her rugged, hairy (animalz), barbarian boy.

LOL, i once had a girl at university ask me if I worried I might offend and lose my chance with the girl of my dreams when she read my t-shirt that read,"Hopeless Romantic Seeks Filthy Whore". I told her that any girl who didnt share my sense of humor and was offended that I would wear such a shirt would never pass for my dream girl. In fact maybe that shirt was a test to save me wasting time on "serious minded" women who can't laugh at themselves and the obsurdity of life in general.

I still cant help using certain kinds of humor that I know will go right over their head though. One night out with a terrifically cute Chinese girl in GZ on my birthday I was told that if I eat fish head on that day I will be lucky all year. " So what youre sayin, is if I eat this fish's head, Im gonna get lucky tonight?". "for sure!". ...and so I did!

#2013-11-25 05:10:01 by anonymous8131 @anonymous8131

I love sarcasm!

Here is a landmine I stepped on recently! Using figures of speech.
A young lady had e-mailed me, she had wrote in her profile that she was not very beautiful on the outside but was beautiful on the inside. The lady was not beautiful on the outside she was gorgeous, she would put any U.S super model to shame.

I sent her a quick e-mail back and said to her that I was interested in someone that was a bit older and that she indeed was very beautiful on the outside and that YOU (here it is) "should not sell yourself self short"

Well, she had replied and politely and thanked me for the first part of the compliment and she had also clearly informed me that she was not that kind of woman, and that under no circumstances would she ever sell herself.

Really....Oh Sh*t! So what I thought was an uplifting innocent compliment to her self esteem turned out as an insult, A suggestion that she should go out and sell herself. Needless to say I immediately felt like a complete ass. I quickly replied, apologized and explained the meaning of my figure of speech. In the end she understood, but it was a lesson I soon wont forget.

#2013-11-25 09:52:39 by Joshua75 @Joshua75

When I saw this blog I thought.. the 4th type is called "Oh sh*t", I hope I don't run into one of those! Well dang I was hoping for type 4 but I can understand the need for a touch of diplomacy after the overreaction to past blogs or perhaps type 4 will be even more volatile and you are prepping the crowd!

#2013-11-25 14:52:02 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1 .

Funny stuff, Paul - you sure do seem to strike a lot of "interesting" ladies out there, don't you! :)

And your advanced sense of humour seems to land you in a lot of trouble sometimes also - great stuff!

Maybe I can leave you with a tiny little joke?

Question: What's the best thing about becoming old and senile?

Answer: You can hide your own Easter eggs! :)

Please keep up the good work and the interesting blog articles, Paul - cheers mate!

#2013-11-25 16:28:07 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Why do women want romance so much ?

My mate said to his wife - "Any chance of a BJ tonight?"

She said - "Why can't you be more romantic?"

He said - "OK, any chance of a BJ tonight next to a candle?" haha

#2013-11-26 05:21:36 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth


My favorite senile joke is...

I may be senile...


..but at least I'm not senile!!!

#2013-11-26 11:49:31 by jess4 @jess4

You are not wrong,should be send in one years around photo each other this is call Sincere,haha,but I think maybe she want show you when she was young photo,ok?just take easy,in here,I saw many man also use him young time photo.

#2013-11-26 14:24:44 by melcyan @melcyan

Hi Paul
We have something in common. We both love “Fawlty Towers” and “Black Adder”. There are many Australians who love these TV programs and they truly get sarcastic humor. As well as these programs I also have a large collection of Monty Python, Black Books, Billy Connolly and Tim Minchin DVD's.
Tim Minchin is an Australian comedian and a master of sarcasm. All of this sarcastic humor is very funny and clever but it is not for everyone. It doesn't matter if it is the U.K, Australia, N.Z., Canada or the U.S.A. Only a minority of the population love sarcastic humor.
The Monty Python film “Life of Brian” is probably the best example of sarcastic humor I know but my Chinese partner who has lived 23 years in Australia will never get it. She will never have the knowledge of western history, philosophy, religion and politics needed to understand it.
I too am a compulsive user of sarcastic humor but there are many environments in which I will resist the urge use it. I don't use it when I want my words to have a very clear meaning. I don't use it when I meet new people, especially in China where I am trying to learn as much as I can as quickly as I can. Some of my funniest moments in China could only be shared by email. Some of the people who receive my email are Chinese. They understood my sarcastic humor about Feng Shui, Chinese traffic and Chinese medicine.

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