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Cheng, a divorced single mother, forty years old, loves to smile, was born in a small village in Huangshan. She's been working in Changzhou, Jiangsu, so far as a sales manager in a local company. A quiet woman who enjoys a simple life, Cheng has experienced pain but now confidently optimistic and cheerful. She hopes to share her feelings and some ideas with you here . 程,生于徽州的一个小村庄,并在那里成长。一个四十岁的单身母亲,一个爱笑的女人。定居江苏常州,并任职于一家当地公司的销售经理至今。在经历痛苦和岁月的沉淀后,她现在是乐观的愉快的。非常乐意与您在这里分享她对人生的看法,对爱情和婚姻的期待。
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“Naked wedding "("Luohun"),do you accept it ?裸婚,你愿意吗?    

By Chengs
11629 Views | 34 Comments | 7/4/2012 2:18:54 PM
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(Showing 21 to 30 of 34) Previous 1 2 3 4 More...
#2012-07-15 21:59:28 by gabbzh666 @gabbzh666

lol maybe pathetic was not the good word. sorry for that! but you should open your eyes about what is China nowdays. China is worst in every domain except economy than 12 years ago. China was much more open during Jiang Zheming period than now. China is much more corrupted than before, much more polluated (because development), much more closed, much more censorship, much more people defend democracy (300 famous chinese in 2011: they're lawyer, writters, artists, historian) are going to jail, be journalist in china is the same as before no progress. so it means just write the propaganda from chinese government. Many little examples, show you how chinese become worst than before in many domain.
And so in 12 years, because the economy is better, many chinese are much more attracted by money and got a better life. so people are also much more materialistic and superficial than 12 years ago. so at the end , china is become a total mess where fake in everything is the way. fake with people because chinese have afraid to lose face (what i call be hypocrite in fact), fake because no space for any love or human being just for money. I think chinese spend so much energy to pretend who they're not. how exhausted are these behaviors! CHINESE HAVE A GIFT FOR LET SIMPLE THINGS COMPLICATED!

#2012-07-16 13:50:20 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@gabbzh666 - Your comments about China are so incredibly negative, and in my opinion mostly incorrect, that I can't help but asking if China is so bad, why are you living in China and why are you seeking a Chinese woman for a long term relationship?

I don't mean to sound argumentative, but am truly interested as to your reasons for both of these incongruities.

#2012-07-17 00:02:58 by smile01 @smile01

gabbzh666 ,i was shocking .This is not COMMENT .It is only an irreverent abuse .I never suspected for a minute that my small article will bring your motiveless malignity and hopeless distortion with china .Obviously ,CHINESE NEVER HAVE A GIFT FOR LET SIMPLE THINGS COMPLICATED,BUT YOU DO.
If you are here to comment on China or chinese's flaw/shortage friendly ,we are willing to exchange views with you calmly .But You have to remain objective .Before I had a swell impression about western man .Now I realized there is another kind of western man .

Thanks ,John .

我觉得震惊,这不是评论,只是无礼的谩骂。我万万没想到我的小文章会引来你对中国无缘无故的敌意和肆意的歪曲。显然中国人并没有把简单的事复杂化的天赋,但是你有!
如果你在这儿友善的谈谈中国和中国人的缺点,我愿意跟你心平气和的交流。但,请保持客观。我原来对西方男人有极好的印象,现在我意识到有另外一种像你这样的西方男人。

谢谢,John 。





#2012-07-19 15:21:22 by feyoung1906 @feyoung1906

I am 100% with the naked marriage, I am a member of this site for a few months now and I see some most of Chinese ladies are only worried how much money their future husband has and if he owns his own home or car etc... I understand that for most of them is their safety and security net but I also believe that love and respect and mutual understanding and honesty are the most important components in a marriage and money comes later.

Marriage is a long term commitment and if it is based on material things it will not last no matter how rich is the husband or the wife as a matter of fact. In fact a couple can build their own wealth together by supporting each other and loving and caring and building their future fortune together.

Sam

#2012-07-20 03:49:18 by TAN1954 @TAN1954

Yes, like my Scandinavian fellow here, I recommend that a Chinese lady tries to look at the system in the country she is going to live before deciding upon a civil wedding or a full fledged Chinese wedding. In general, in the West, house has no impact on any of those situations you may have in China.
A Chinese woman may come across as very materialistic. In Scandinavia we try to use money wisely, we believe in humility and the system and the rules are very different from China. All depends upon the culture where you live.

#2012-07-20 11:26:37 by smile01 @smile01

feyoung1906

After all ,”Luohun” is only the form instead of the spirit of marriage. Technically ,today “Luohun” is getting more popular among young people .
I think you actually is talking another question :according your experience in this site you think Chinese women care about money more in choosing a partner.
It is not altogether without reason to believe so. In fact ,not only in china ,but also in most Asian countries , material gain and money will be considered seriously when woman are choosing their partner.

The main reason is that man the undisputed family breadwinner, Woman need more secure in their subconscious.

Now things change gradually among younger intellectual women.

#2012-07-22 22:20:57 by gabbzh666 @gabbzh666

to john: i'm in china for few reason and the main one is to change the things here. and it's what i do since 6 years. I teach to chinese what they don't learn in school.
1) develop a critical thinking with arguments
2) be able to give your opinions on every topic and explain why
3) develop the creativity
4) develop their own personality
5) teach them environment education
6) talk about sexual education

It's all what is missing in chinese education for become suitable.

Chinese education is based on test only. Chinese are perfect test takers but the system never let use their brain and knowledge.
for example, in university or for the Gaokao (final examination in high school) they just learn all their books and pass the exam. 1 month after the exam students remember less than 10% of everything.
Because the test don't let them use their knowledge with a problematic where they should use your own life experience, your other knowledge and develop arguments with examples and quotations.

Since the primary school the system here broke the kids and their childhood, they already got pressure from society, parents and even teachers. Besides, i saw by my own eyes already in primary school they begin to let them full of patriotism and propaganda.

The education system here is not better than the system in germany during nazi period or in russia during staline period.

The basic things of a dictature are to control education and information and it's exactly what's happen in China.

Just what i can tell you john is i know many chinese from mainland ( i met them many times) they all thought i was crazy and many bad things as feyoung 1906 say. However, many of them went abroad for few years (study or working), when they came back here they have changed a lot and nowdays they think exactly like me about China. They become much more objective because they saw what some foreigners told them was in fact true. Nowdays they use their critical thinking as i do about China and everywhere.

So, I'm not negative at all about China, I'm just realistic and use my critical thinking. it's in fact very positive because be critical is a good way for democracy and it helps to think about real problems and let them better after a while.

I wish you can understand what i said John and you too feyoung1966.

I really like China but not this China...China desserve something much better and it's what i fight for since 6 years in this country.

#2012-07-23 11:52:02 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@gabbzh666 - I understand what you are saying, both in your earlier comments and in this most recent one. However, I agree with very little of it. What you say about the testing of Chinese students is true, but less true than 10 years ago. What you say about Chinese developing critical thinking is true in that they are far behind the West, but I see them as having vastly improved over the last 10 years that I have been here.

China is far more open than it was 10 years ago. It amazes me how much less censorship there is now. It amazes me how open and critical the Chinese netizens have become, without suffering any negative consequences, compared to 10 years ago. It is almost stunning to me how phenomenally well the State Television channels are promoting very positive knowledge and practices such as environmental responsibility, protection of animals (both domestic and wild), good health, good social interaction, etc.

There are still things about China to dislike and wish to change, of course. But just as the economy has improved so quickly, in my opinion so has the social atmosphere and so is the civility and the critical thinking of the citizens of China.

You might want to look more closely at the diseases eroding your own home country and the rest of the EU, not to mention most other "Western" countries, before speaking out so critically and with such fervor against China.

#2012-07-27 21:04:57 by gabbzh666 @gabbzh666

to john: wow are you really blind? i'm here since 6 years and it's easy to see than 6 years ago you got less censorship than now. cultural things are censored (movies, books) and internet is much more censored today then few years ago. when i arrived in china you could use all website like facebook, you tube, daily motion etc. today many website same don't talk about politic are censored just by the name of some website. i'm fan of metal music and you got a big metal festival every year in France but can't reach the website since 3 years before i could (www.hellfest.fr)

Besides, the news is still always so censored as before when talk about real topic criticize china (politic especially).

Hopefully, Use a paid VPN in china it's the only way to have free internet.

Besides, one part of this censorship is become stronger and stronger since olympic games (it's why i was against chinese olympic and i had reason like many in europe were against it). the olympic have allowed the chinese government to clean up all the people were a bit engaged. many have been put in jail, disapeared or put pressure for shut up.
I met some chinese like that, the police always keep on eyes on them and they are never safe because something they wrote on their blog or some books they tried to publish.

#2012-07-28 13:42:12 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@gabbzh666 - well, one of us is blind, but with all due respect, I don't think it's me. I have communicated with a lot of foreigners and a lot of Chinese over the past 4 years, and you're the only one I can recall who felt that China was moving backwards with regards to being more open and improving as far as both quality of life and human rights are concerned. I would venture to guess that almost all our Chinese members, who are on this site seeking marriage with non-Chinese men and in the past would have been incarcerated for doing so, would agree with you. I don't think there are many Chinese anywhere who don't feel that China is improving dramatically and has been for the past 20 years or so. And frankly I think the Chinese are much better equipped to judge this than either you or I.

Personally you strike me as someone who came here with a cause and isn't prepared to let it go at any cost. I'm curious, if China is now so caught up in censorship, and so busy "shutting people up", why are we being allowed to have this discussion publicly within China. The very fact that you are being allowed to say such things in public belies your position and the accusations you are making.

I do have to tell you, though, that I think this discussion has started to go well beyond the purpose of these blogs and the nature of our website, so I suspect that I may start censoring it.

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