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Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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My Love for Lily 我对百合的爱, Part 19- The Chinese Woman Who Helped Me Simply by Being Herself 这个简单真实的女人帮助了我    

By Imi
5595 Views | 19 Comments | 8/1/2014 1:06:53 PM

Everyday I checked the site for her story. I loved it! Her style of writing reminded me of one of my favourite writers.  I decided to write her a message. I told her how much I loved her blog and the way of her writing style. I also thanked her for letting us members, especially male members to learn about Chinese women by her experience.



She was very humble in her reply. She thanked me to compare her to that famous writer and told me, that writer was one of her favourites as well.



In my next mail I encouraged her to start writing novels because she was really talented. I recommended a book to her from that writer we both liked. That book helped me to get through some difficult period of my life and I felt that she needed help too. I also told her when her story was going to be finished, probably someone was going to fall in love with her by reading her story.



After she read the book she said in her message that she liked it and there was a part that she could totally related to, when “the heroine loses her beloved man and standing in front of a water fall thinking about him”. She loved that part.

That's what I wanted to hear, I wanted to give her something in return for her story. Her story became my favourite read and helped me a lot to understand a woman's mind. It helped me with my daily struggle to pull my thoughts away from Lily and it gave me hope to believe that there were still beautiful souls in this world. I had only one complain about her story. The parts didn't come out fast enough. I wanted to read them everyday. I complained and complained until one day I came home from work and checked my email. I had one email from Zoe. We became pen pal friends over our messages. I opened it, it was her whole story. Probably, she got tired of hearing me complaining and sent it to me. I sat down and started reading it just like that, after my work, smelly and sweaty.



Reading her story in one whole piece ushered me into her soul, her mind, her spirit. I felt her excitement, her happiness and her pain. Sometimes I felt that I wanted to be there for her to give her a shoulder to cry on. It was a very nice and sad story, it touched me deeply.

I was mad at “H”and wanted to protect her from this insensitive man! Let her freezing outside in the cold, in a foreign country? What was he thinking? I was ashamed of being a Western man, especially me, who is from Europe too.

I didn't say anything to her about “H”. I didn't want to criticize a man she had loved once or she still does. Fortunately, her story gave me the inspiration to write mine. I told her I wanted to try out writing. I wanted to send her my own story with Lily. I had 5 days off from work and started writing. Two parts, in one email. She said, she liked it and she checked her email in every hour to see if she had got the new parts yet.

When I finished my story, I was very tired emotionally and physically as well. I had lived through my relationship with Lily again and it made me realized that I still loved her. I knew I had to keep my word and when the two years were going to be up and I would be financially secured again, I needed to contact her one more time.



It was almost May when I finished my story that I sent to Zoe. I hadn't talked with Lily since last October, but I wanted to send a message for her birthday which was in May. When the day came, I sent a text message to her phone wishing her a very Happy Birthday, with the hope that she and Jeff were fine! I didn't expect her to write me back, but she did, in half an hour. Thanked me for wishing her a Happy Birthday and she said Jeff and her were very good and she hoped that I was fine too.

I sent another a message assuring her I was fine and wished that if we could talk sometimes.

She said in her reply that if it was good for me, we could talk sometimes, if we had the time.



In a few hours I had achieved that I might be able to talk to her again. I wanted to give something for her birthday. I thought a lot about it and I made my decision. One day, I asked her if she could come on QQ.

“Hi Lily, how have you been?” I asked

“I have been fine thanks, and you?”

“Me too, thanks!”

“What did you want to talk about?” she asked.

“I would like to invite you and Mandy to come to Canada and see this beautiful country.”I said

“Why do you want to do that?”she asked

“Because I really want you to see this country.”

“Thank you, but I have no way to apply for visa. You should invite your girlfriend to visit you.”

“I don't have a girlfriend.” I said

“Then you should find one. We are only friends and you should not waste your time and your money on me. You need to save your money for your future!”she said

“Yes, you are right and that's what I am doing, but still I would like to pay for your tickets.”

“No, thank you, I don't want to go! I need to go to bed now. I hope you will have a nice day, bye.”



I was stupid again, I scared her off. She was willing to talk to me, but I wanted more. I wanted too much too soon. She was like a deer, I needed to stalk her from the distance and let her to come to me and then I would have been able to make my move. Instead, I was like an elephant in the porcelain store. Stupid, stupid Imi!



Two days later Mandy wanted to talk and invited me to QQ.

“How are you Imi? We haven't talked for a long time!”

“I am fine , thanks! How are you?”

“I am fine too, thanks. I talked with Lily and she said you invited us to see you in Canada. Is it true?”she asked.

“Yes, would you like to come?”I asked

“Yes, thank you very much!”

“Then, it's going to be only you because Lily doesn't want to come.” I said

“No! She really wants to come, she is just afraid of applying for visa again. She had been rejected twice before for Canadian visa.”she said.

“I think she just wants to come because you want to come. Two days ago she's told me that she doesn't want to come.”

“No! She really wants to see Canada, but she told me that she wants Jeff to go as well.”

“But the school year has not finished yet. Do you want to come in summer time?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, that's even better, I could see Jeff too. I am a little bit busier in summer time, but I will try to schedule myself around your staying.”

“If Jeff knew this he would be very happy. He likes you.” she said

“I like him too. Has he grown a lot?” I asked

“Yes, he is 178 cm now.”

“Wow, that is almost my height. I think he is going to be taller than me.” I said.

“Imi, this is a good idea to show to Lily that you can give her a good life. I hope the two of you can have a good result!”she said

“Thank you Mandy! It means a lot to me if you really think so. How about you Mandy? Did you find anybody for yourself?” I asked

“No, it's really hard to find a nice man. I am not lucky.”

“When you come to see me, we could try to find a nice man for you here. There are a lot of Asian guys in my gym and they are as the same age as you are. I also know that you like to dance. Not far from my place there is this dance studio where anybody can go to and learn Latin dances. We might find a guy there”

“Wow, your neighbourhood  must be a very nice place! Thank you very much for your invitation!”she said

“You are welcome! I have to go now. Let me know the date when you want to come to Canada!”



Talking to Mandy gave me a little bit of hope. The next time I talked to her, she said, probably they would come after September or in the New Year. I didn't really care when, I just wanted them to come. I had tried to talk to Lily as well a couple of times, but I felt that she really didn't want to talk with me. She just answered to my questions with a “yes” or a “no”. So, I let her be. I was busy anyway in the summer with my work and with opening my own business website in early August. I was happy, I made good connections business wise and started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.



我每天都要上CLM查看她有没有更新博客,她的文字风格让我想起一位很流行的作家。我决定给她发一封信息,告诉她我特别喜欢她的文字,也感谢她能够与会员们分享自己的情感经历,让我们,特别是西方男性对中国女人的情感和内心有所了解。

她的回复很谦虚,谢谢我把她与那位作家相比,说她也很喜欢那位作家的书。

在我写给她的第二封邮件里,我鼓励她应该尝试写小说,,因为在我看来她有这份天赋。又向她推荐了那位作家其中的一部小说,这部小说曾经在我身经坎坷时给我心灵上很大的帮助。还告诉她也许在她的博客结尾时,会有一个人爱上她,因为她的故事而爱上她。

她后来读了我推荐的小说,回信告诉我她很喜欢这本书。其中一个场景让她很有感触,就是当女主人公失去自己的爱人后她站在瀑布前思念他那一段。

听她说她喜欢这本书,让我有些安慰,作为与我分享她的故事的回报,我希望自己能够对她有一点帮助。阅读她的故事成了我每天最喜欢做的事情,不仅帮助我了解中国女人的心态,也把我从对Lily的疯狂思念中解脱出来,而且让我相信了这个世界上还有如此美丽的心灵。

只是有一点我很不满,更新太慢了。我希望每天能读到一章。我发邮件向她抱怨,有一天回家收邮箱时,居然收到Zoe的一封,这些天我们慢慢变成了笔友。我打开她的邮件,她把整个故事发给我了,大概是她没法忍受我一再的抱怨吧。就这样,我坐了下来,带着一天工作后的满身的油和汗,开始读她的文字。



一口气读完她的故事,把我带进了她的内心,她的精神,她的灵魂。我感受着她的激动,喜悦和忧伤。有时我会有去到她的身边给她一个臂膀让她哭泣的冲动。这是一个美丽而悲伤的故事,我感动极了。

我对那个叫“H”的男人很生气,很想把她从这个无情的家伙身边拉走! 他怎么能让这个女人在一个陌生的国家等在车站前挨冻?他到底怎么个人?我,一个男人,一个欧洲男人,为此感到羞愧!

我没有对她评论H,她曾经爱过也许仍然爱着的男人,我不能滥加指责。

她的故事鼓励了我,让我有了写下自己的故事的冲动。我告诉她我也想试着把我和Lily的故事写下来,发给她看看。我有五天不用工作,这期间我一口气把故事写完了。每次给她发两章。她告诉我很喜欢读我的文字,几乎每隔一个小时就看看邮箱里有没有我的更新。

写完后,我的心理和身体都疲惫极了,好像又经历了一遍与Lily的这段感情。也让我意识到我仍然爱着Lily,我需要遵守我的诺言 - - - 两年的时间,经济的独立,重新回到她的身边。



完成文章发给Zoe后已经是五月初了。 自从去年十月份以来我没有再联系过Lily,但五月份是她的生日,我想给她一个生日的祝福,于是在她生日那天,我发了信息给她,问候她和Jeff。我没有料到半小时后她回复了我,告诉我她和Jeff很好,也希望我一切如意。我又回复了她一条,告诉她我很好,并希望我们能保持联系,如果可能希望她不介意有时间的时候可以在网上说话。她告诉我当然不介意,只要时间允许我们可以在网上见。



没想到我又得到了跟她说话的机会。我想给她一份生日礼物,想了好久,最后有了决定。一天我问她能否上QQ。

“Lily,你还好吗?”

“我很好,谢谢,你呢?”

“我也很好,谢谢。”

“你有什么事吗?为什么要我上QQ?”

“我希望邀请你和Mandy一起到加拿大,来看看这个美丽的国家。”

“你为什么想那么做?”

“因为我很想让你看看这个国家。”

“谢谢,但我申请不到签证。而且你应该邀请你的女朋友。”

“我没有女朋友。”

“那么你该找一个。我和你现在只是普通朋友,你不该在我身上浪费钱,你得为你的未来考虑。”

“是的,我明白,而且我也在为将来攒钱,但我仍然想为你们支付机票,邀请你们到这里看看。”

“不,我不想去,谢谢你。我要睡觉了,太晚了。再见!”



我这个笨蛋,我又把她吓跑了。她答应跟我聊天,可我想要的不仅仅是这些。我太心急了,她像一只受惊的小鹿,我应该慢慢地缩短距离,让她情愿到我身边来,而我像一只进了瓷器店的大象,砰呤铛琅把一切打碎了,笨,笨死了。



两天后,Mandy约我上QQ聊。

“你好吗, Imi?好久不见了。”

“我很好,谢谢你Mandy.”

“Lily告诉我,你想要邀请我们去加拿大,是真的吗?”

“是真的,你愿意来吗?”

“是的,谢谢你。”

“那么只有你一个人来了,Lily不愿意来。”

“不是的,其实她愿意去的,只不过她害怕申请不到签证,别忘了,她已经被拒过两次了。”

“是因为你想来她才愿意来的吧?两天前她告诉我,她不想来。”

“不是的,她也愿意去,但她希望Jeff也能一起去。”

“Jeff不是得上学吗?你们想趁暑假来吗?”

“对。”

“那更好,我也想见到Jeff,夏天我会比较忙,但没关系,我会安排好。”

“如果Jeff知道了,他肯定很高兴,他很喜欢你的。”

“我也喜欢他。他是不是长高了很多?”

“对啊,现在有178cm了。”

“哇,几乎跟我一样高了。我估计将来他会比我高。”

“Imi,这是个好机会,你可以向Lily展示你的生活,我还是希望你们两个能在一起。”

“谢谢你这么说,我很高兴你这么想。你呢,有没有碰到喜欢的人?”

“没有,我还没有那么幸运。”

“等你到这的时候,我们可以在这给你找一个。在我去的健身房,有很多亚洲男性,他们很多都跟你年龄相仿。还有,你不是喜欢跳舞吗,这附近有个教拉丁舞的俱乐部,任何人都可以去学,也许在那可以碰到一个跟你有相同兴趣的人。”

“哇,你住的地方一定很美!再次感谢你的邀请!”

“你真不用客气。我得去上班了。等你们决定了想哪天来,就通知我。”



跟Mandy的谈话让我又有了一丝希望。第二次又跟她聊天时,她说也许她们要在九月后或者新年时过来。对我来说,只要她们来,哪天都可以。这期间我跟Lily也聊了几次,但我感觉她很不情愿跟我说话,她只是用“是”或“不”回答我的问题。我没有计较,因为那段时间我极忙,忙每天的工作,还有我在努力建自己的公司网站,希望在八月底前完成。此时,我的工作有了很大起色,在一天天好起来,我好像走过了长长的隧道,眼前看到了亮光。


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Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 19) 1 2 More...
#2014-08-01 13:13:20 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

It really amazes me Imi, just how incredibly patient and loyal you remained to Lily. Frankly I don't think there are very many men like you. I hope your new relationship is continuing to develop, and I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have met someone like you.

#2014-08-01 14:02:33 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

I am really confused after reading this part... That means you are still thinking of Lily? You and Zoe are only pen pal right now?

#2014-08-01 14:12:03 by Belle77 @Belle77


As far as I can remember from your previous articles, Lily has been to Australia and Japan several times? If so, then it is strange that the Canada visa officer would refuse her application twice
Maybe Imi can help to check why the Canada officer refused her visa application, I do hope Lily can get the visa this time and Imi and Lily can be together in the future

#2014-08-01 15:49:31 by anonymous11288 @anonymous11288

Hi Imi

I really love your story. You showed us what the true love is. You know Lily is not perfect and she has weekness, you still love her and accept who she is. That is true love. I also hope Lily will realize how lucky she is.

Best best whishes to you and Lily!

#2014-08-01 16:11:53 by anonymous11289 @anonymous11289

Imi, I have to hand it to you, you didn't know when you were being led to the slaughter the first time, now you go back and get it all over again....Lily is not an honourable women in a lot of aspects......too many warning bells, red lights, red flags and claxons going off. This woman is extremely bad news to any man.......

Your blind devotion to a love that could never happen and your persistence in getting your heart broken and your nose pushed in it is almost unbearable to read about.

Many Chinese women here will think we are all naïve like this, blind devotion does not a great man make......

Yes the old adage is "burned once, shame on her...burned twice(or many times in your case) shame on you"

I truly hope you did not end up paying for her to go to Canada, Mandy and Jeff yes but not her....she does not deserve it.

Glad you have found a real woman now, hopefully it is a loving , equal relationship, full of peace, respect and real love.....


Take care......

#2014-08-01 17:30:51 by yiyun2519 @yiyun2519

OH,My God,another big surprised again
....(sweat)

#2014-08-01 18:01:31 by chenchunyuan @chenchunyuan

@Imi5922
Wish I would have someone like you....

#2014-08-01 19:35:11 by panda2009 @panda2009

“the heroine loses her beloved man and standing in front of a water fall thinking about him”.

Hi, Imi, please tell us this book.

Imi and Zoe are the most lovely people here! You are all simply being yourselves!

You are in the same boat, you need to be living and bonded with the people who have taken responsibility and appreciated each other.

#2014-08-01 21:40:54 by yinanancy @yinanancy

@lmi
I seldom got messages, as if what I come here is to read your stories and Barrie's. Sure you will have your love, so does Barry. You are good guys.

#2014-08-02 15:51:34 by daydream @daydream

Hello lim,

You are so great man, you let me believe the true love still really exist, i want to tell you that i hope you find the really good woman be worth you love her !!

Be Happiness

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