Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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My Love for Lily 我对百合的爱, Part 17 - Finally, She Is Opening Up For Me 终于,她对我敞开了心扉    

By Imi
4864 Views | 14 Comments | 7/13/2014 2:17:53 PM

Even Chinese women open up sometimes!

I checked the CLM blogs and forum threads one morning while I was eating my breakfast, but there were no new ones there. I started checking the photos and suddenly saw Lily's profile there as a new member. My heart sank, my stomach was in a knot. I wanted to forget her, but seeing the Chinese woman I loved looking for another man made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't stop myself and sent her a message. She replied with offering her friendship and wished me good luck with my search. I didn't bother her anymore, but I saw her on the site everyday for hours and hours. She seemed really determined to find a man.

Two weeks went by, a Sunday morning I heard my phone indicating that I got a message on QQ. It was from Lily.

“Hi, How are you? I just wanted to see if you are fine.”

I logged in and she was still there. We started to chat and she told me a lot of things, she had begun to open up for me, finally.

She had a friend of 16 years and now she had to help this friend because her husband cheated on her.  As she was trying to help her friend through this difficult period of times, she began to relive her own past when her husband cheated on her.

“I thought, I had been already over this long time ago, but now, seeing my friend depressed, it brought back a lot of memories.”she said., and continued. “I feel that I am a failed mother because I wasn't able to give to my son what I wanted to. I wanted for him a warm and complete family and I failed.”

“Lily, the person who failed here is not you but your ex husband. Don't blame yourself! He failed you and failed his son. He left you alone to deal with your own life while you were trying to raise Jeff. You are a good mother he is the failed man!” I said to her.

“Sometimes, I feel that I want to sleep forever and not to deal with my problems, everyday alone. My thoughts are not clear about what to do about my future and Jeff's future.”

“Why don't you let me help you? You know my feelings for you!”

“I want a man who can love me and give me a safe family, where I don't need to worry about what's going to happen tomorrow. I have been living in Shenzhen for 16 years now and I moved 14 times. I just want to feel safe and being loved. If a man can't give me 100% safety I can't be with him because I have lived all my life in fear of tomorrow. I wouldn't feel myself 100% safe with you, especially in a foreign country. I know you are a good man and if I lose you now, I may not find another man like you in the future. But now, I really don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt you because of my own confusion. It wouldn't be fair to you. You deserve a good woman because you are a good man.”

“Lily, you are a good woman! You just need to be brave and give me a chance! I know, I would be able to make you happy. I just need to get back onto my feet.”

“Don't you think that I am a bad woman? Don't you think that I am just a woman who loves money?”

“No and no. I know you are everything but these things. I love you Lily and I always will if you let me.”

“I want to be loved, but I am afraid of love. I want to fall in love, but I am scared if I fell in love I would get hurt again. I want to be out of this struggle. May I ask you something?”

“Yes.” I said

“What did you feel when you saw my profile on this new Chinese dating site?”

“I know, you know what I felt. I felt very sad.”I said

“Tell you the truth, I don't know what I am doing there. I think I just wanted to have other man's attention to feel better about myself. I am sorry for making you feel sad!”

“Can you give me another chance?” I asked.

“You know my current situation, my head can't forget my past and I am afraid of loving someone again.”

“I can help you to forget your past. Not every man is like your ex husband.” said to her.

“No, you can't help me! I need to get rid of my past and my fears on my own. I need to ask you something though, it's very important.”

“Okay, you can ask anything.”I said.

“If I am not in love with you, can you get married with me?”

“Are you serious?.... No, I can't get married with a woman who doesn't love me. In western world, we fall in love first and then get married.” I said.

“You are a good man and I really wanted to fall in love with you, but I was afraid of getting hurt again.

You asked me to give you another chance with me. Can YOU give me a chance and let me fall in love with you after we got married?” she asked me.

“Are you not going to be afraid of falling in love with me after we got married? Do you think that you can let your feelings go and love me?

“Yes”she answered.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I would feel safer to fall in love with you and let my feelings go.”

“You know what Lily! I will give you and myself a chance because I am sure you will fall in love with me.” I said.

“hehehehe.... How do you know I will fall in love with you?”

“hahaha...Because I am a good man and I would do anything to make you happy and live a long happy life with you.” I said

“So, are you willing to get married with me even you know that I am not in love with you at the moment? She asked.

“Yes, if you promise me not to leave me for another man.”

“If we got married, I would not pay attention to other men.” she promised and said,

“Then you come here tomorrow and we'll get married.”

“I can't and you know why.” I replied

“Yes, I know.”

“How long time do you still need to get your money back?” she asked me.

“Can you give me another year? Then we get married, after that we have to do your immigration papers for you and Jeff. That takes at least another 6 months. At that time I think I would be ready.”

“That long?” she asked.


We said good bye to each other because it was a long talk and was too late for her, but I felt that she was having problem with the long processing time. I was happy though because she opened up for me and I began to understand what held her back from me when I was in China. It wasn't just her beliefs. It was mostly her demons from her past.

























“你说什么?…… 不会,我不能跟一个不爱我的人结婚。在西方,我们先互相爱上对方,然后结婚。”




















Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
(Showing 1 to 10 of 14) 1 2 More...
#2014-07-13 14:27:55 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I have to say Imi, I was a bit jolted to read that you were actually given a third kick at the cat! This relationship is starting to make my head spin. However, having been there myself, I understand how when you love someone you can't let them go.

I know this was all in the past, long since over, but we're reading it now, and it's hard not to feel sad for you for the ups and downs your heart went through.

For those of you who are now scrambling to think of which CLM Lily this could be, frankly, so am I - but I have to tell you that "Lily" is one of the 2 most common English names that Chinese women give themselves. Without actually checking I would bet that there have easily been more than 1,000 members with "Lily" in their username, possibly over 2,000. So forget trying, those of you who can't let go of the detective inside you ;)

#2014-07-13 17:08:53 by Belle77 @Belle77

It is an interest story, thank you Imi
I think Lily is a street smart person, so do you
Good luck to both of you.

#2014-07-13 18:15:51 by aussieghump @aussieghump

CLM Human Flesh Search Engine...great!

#2014-07-13 19:04:16 by weiming @weiming

I didn't think lily is a bad woman, she likes music, often with the music to treat the injured heart, emotional person vulnerable to injury, she was afraid of unrest and a no results of waiting. I wish you have a good future.

#2014-07-13 19:30:09 by prana @prana

I hope I can do this,
And the people I love,
Jointly operated a family.
Rather than waiting
Own one to enjoy harvesting.


In case,

That one day

It taken place once, the same economic crises,

Lily time will choose to, and you continue to together?

Every one of us,

Each of day's work, income,

Impossible to, are like this,

Will always successfully and stable.

Since you are chose to Lily,

So, we to bless you!












Yes it is,

As long as you insist,

Will be successful.

There is a beautiful legend,
Beautifully stones will sing.
It can give a brave man of wisdom
Can also give industrious people a harvesting
As long as you understand precious it
Irrespective of how high the mountain
How far the road,
You are able to get those precious baby.






#2014-07-14 01:34:59 by daydream @daydream

Hello lim: I also with you, I was very pure loved a person once, but he wasted me more than 4 years, I had been foolish believe he loved me as too much as I love him! Finally I found him in a couple of websites, I deep remorse I was stupid woman, even just only think of his name will let me heartache……… now I think maybe just because God forgotten me !!!

#2014-07-14 13:47:17 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

Hi lmi:

Your story with the Lily, the processing and the end of your searching have been connecting with all of our readers’ hearts. We absolutely hope you could finally find the most suitable one here or somewhere there.

Thanks for your sharing on your latest status with the Lily and it seems you two bring us just bring us an affecting love story movie… Once again, you have so wonderful writing and expression ability to bring all to the site with you two. So fresh!

First of first, I am happy to see you already have received an explanation on your confusion and that should have reduced half of your pains suffered previously. Yes, you are an honest and sincere person who is absolutely deserved an explanation. Congratulations! You have done.

I did not read all of your blogs and I don’t know how you began to love the Lily, what is the reason for twice visits to China for Lily but I am sure you should have your right reasons to make all these decision and action. My general impression from your story is you two seems have different purpose or intention on your searching. You pay more on true love and the Lily pay more on her thought of safety(materials and money).

Talking to the safety, seems the Lily rely more on money and most important is she rely the safety more on other person & more is that person’s money instead of herself or her own money or her own efforts? Basing on that attitude, she probably will never receive her thought safety since she can’t change or control any others to do anything except herself. I think she must first to be aware of this and do something on her side first. When we want something in our life, we must try to do all things that we need/should do at our side and can’t be just sitting there, waiting, expecting or passively received. Yes, we are getting better and better from the materialistic conditions but we intend to be more and more confused what we want to have in the next and when we need control our desire to a reasonable level. I often have the same confusion and lost as the Lily has been with. It is some kind of very hopeless and painful feelings…She does be under a great help situation but she must take some time to think over and get off by herself… She need to figure out where her thought of safety need to be from, who should be counted on and what is she looking for rest of life? Money or love? her own money or others’ money? I read from your blog her ex-husband seems very rich and bring her and Jeff for an oversea vocation like in Australia or Japan every year. I guess she may have been used to that kind of life? This is where his reaction was from when first heard you lost the money? I don’t think you could be a person who can endure to be living with someone who doesn’t love you since the beginning for a long term? When you are in the bad times especial a possible bad financial or career condition, you will not feel disappointed on her reaction or attitude to you? You are for same type person? I have ever encountered some man from Canada and now he is still in his cocoon as per his word due to his failed relationship with some Gangzhou woman(several years and ended last year). He absolutely suffered a great hurt from that failure and he agreed that he has been blind to thought that woman love him but finally found that woman doesn’t love him at all and actually is not his expected type person. Now he feel very disappointed/confused with woman and he would like to regard all the women in the world to be same type as the Guangzhou woman and behave very passively. He would not like to initiatively to do anything except to be confused, passively waiting or choose to be alone for the rest of the life…It is obvious, he originally have very strong faith on love and encountered a wrong woman and thus lost almost all of his faith on love. It is very terrible & pity to hear of his conclusion…I feel so sad about him to put his destiny & happiness to some other person’s hand, why? We absolutely can find some of our problem or responsibility from all of our failures…We can’t intend to cover our responsibility through blaming any others. Before we are aware of enough or skilled, we can’t avoid we make this or that mistake. We need forgive ourselves, learn from the bad experience and mistake and keep going on… Here we say: fall over 100 times, stand up 101 times. Means we need keep our faith no matter how many times of failure we have gone through, learn from the past and go on.

I hope all of my words above will not offend you or the Lily in any way and I just speak all these from my heart. Hope they could be helpful for you and wish you are successful on your searching.

Have a nice day.


#2014-07-14 19:33:30 by anonymous10987 @anonymous10987

women are into financial security, it is in their genes

#2014-07-14 20:00:01 by QinQL @QinQL










My sisters, please look at a part of the dialogue bewteen Lily and lim:

“If we got married, I would not pay attention to other men.” she promised and said,

Then you come here tomorrow and we'll get married.”

“I can't and you know why.” I replied

“Yes, I know.”

So, we can not find any clues that Lily had to leave lim for the money that he lost from here as well.

But I think it would let lim confuse that she took the way to communicate with him.
The way that she communicat with him had let him think she seemed had locked her hands and feet with iron chain as the same as her heart did ----- please look at the pic beside upper right of the blog.

In this part, I appreciate Lily could always insist our chinese traditional morality line and knew how to protect herself when she contacted with man even western man. And I do more appareciate lim always try his best to understand and respect his woman that he was prusueing.

I’m also very curious what would be happpened to end the story finally.

#2014-07-14 23:15:52 by anonymous10993 @anonymous10993

Imi, I understand the wants and needs of a heart that is so blindly in love. We cling to every word, every hope that she will change her mind and love us and be with us....but this is where the fairy-tale ends.

Unless I have totally misread everything...she Lily is still an evil woman, she knows she has you in the palm of her she has set you up to where she wants you, I truly hope you are not so foolish to fall for this game of hers...seriously man you deserve a real woman whose heart is true and loves "you" for "who" you are!!! It sounds like in an answer of yours that you have found that woman!! I am happy if you have!!

Lily is evil, she is a manipulator, a user, cold, calculating person, more than likely you are not the first and most definitely not the last victim of this smooth operator!!!

You are well to be rid of this emotional vampire!

(Showing 1 to 10 of 14) 1 2 More...
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