Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
Articles :
Views :
Comments :
Create Time :
This Blog's Articles
Index of Blogs
Index Blog Articles

My Love For Willy    

By Paul Fox
3773 Views | 9 Comments | 3/14/2014 4:26:04 PM

A short time ago I wrote a thread called ‘Serious Question’ and the comments have been fantastic – a real ‘learning-curve’ as far as I am concerned. What you are about to read was originally going to be a reply to the comments on that particular thread, but I decided to write it as a blog instead simply because I want to learn more about your own opinions.

I decided to have a quiet night in tonight, (just me and my good friend “Mr Cab Shiraz’) and as we settled down together I decided to see what was on TV. Scanning through the satellite channels a single word jumped off the screen and hit me smack in the face – “LADYBOYS”

The program was about to start so I decided to see what it was all about and for the following hour I was glued….transfixed even… so much so that I lasted a whole hour without going outside for a quick smoke (usually un-heard of – lol)

As you may or may not know, Thailand had thousands of Ladyboys (or as we often refer to them in Australia – ‘Chicks-with-dicks’), and whilst I am sure they are not found ONLY in Thailand, Thailand was the subject of the programme.

The documentary covered the stories of 2 separate western guys (both from the UK and one was still living in the UK) who both had an interest in Ladyboys (Kathoeys/Katoys)

The first guy, I would say was in his early 30’s. He was a good-looking guy, very fit, worked out at the gym every night after work and had muscles on his muscles!

In short, he would potentially have little problem in picking any girl he chose. On a trip to Thailand he met a Lady boy in a bar and fell in love with ‘her’ and at the time of filming, they had been ‘together’ for 2 years and were planning to marry.

Despite their long-distance-relationship, he visited her and her family as often as possible and they chatted on the phone/skype/viber etc every day.

Interestingly enough, the LAST thing on her mind was to get a ‘ticket’ out of Thailand. Instead, he had bought her a noodle bar and they were also planning to buy a beer bar after they marry. He would be moving to Thailand to live and would be the main supporter/provider for her whole family (her father died when she was 2)

They first met while ‘she’ was working as a prostitute in bars in Bangkok. The money she earned (approx. USD$5000 per month) was giving her family a good lifestyle – but she said she hated working this way. She also said that she never thought she would find a man to marry. Obviously a Thai man is going to want kids etc, so would perhaps never consider marrying a Ladyboy – so she considered herself very ‘lucky’ to find a westerner who was prepared to marry her

The interviewer asked the UK man what, (if anything), he felt strange or uncomfortable with and his reply was straightforward. He said that when they slept together ‘she’ had the ‘perfect body’ apart from the fact she had a penis which looked like it had been ‘photo-shopped on’

So then the interviewer asked this big muscle-man if he was gay, to which he replied – “Definitely NOT!”

So I am sitting there thinking to myself – “Mate, your girlfriend has a PENIS – yet you are telling us you are not gay!” – Sorry, cup-cake, but this just does not sit right in my brain!

As the programme continued it became obvious that these ‘guys’ loved each other very much and they seemed to be very happy together – I mean, after all they had known each other for 2 years and were planning their future together……

The interviewer asked him if his parents would attend their wedding and he said ‘definitely not!’

He then went on to say – “Mum can’t handle the Thai climate and as far as my Dad goes…… Well I’m about to marry a girl who used to be a guy; who used to work as a prostitute and who still has a penis – what do YOU think?”

So he is going into this with his eyes WIDE OPEN and is also prepared to allow himself to be filmed…..

Guy #2 was a little different. When the camera crew joined him he was with a Ladyboy that he had met 3 days before. She also used to work as a prostitute in a bar and that is where they first met.

This guy had a long history with Ladyboys and had previously had many ‘girlfriends’ who were Ladyboys. He was so ‘clued-up’ that as they filmed him sitting outside a café ‘people-watching’, as people passed by he was able to say – “Lady boy, Ladyboy, woman, hooker (but girl), Ladyboy….” Etc etc, so he obviously knew what he was talking about….

Haha, I remember a few years ago when an old friend sent me an e-mail questionnaire called ‘Spot the Ladyboy’ – There were 20 photos of different beautiful girls and you had to select yes or no as to whether or not you thought they were real girls or Ladyboys

I ticked Yes on 6 out of 20, but the real result was that they ALL were!

Some were simply STUNNING and it’s perhaps easy to see why some men could easily fall in love with them – but at the end of the day, they have a PENIS – and that is enough to make me run for my life!

So as the programme continued we got to the stage where this guy had been living in Bangkok with his ‘girl’ for more than 2 weeks and he was now saying he was in love with her

Again, the interviewer asked him if he was gay, but this time his answer was different to guy #1

He actually said that he had questioned his sexuality on several occasions (due to his love of Ladyboys), yet still considered himself to be ‘definitely straight’

In my humble opinion I would have to say (if I am honest) that guy #2’s ‘girl’ was absolutely, stunningly beautiful, (certainly a good 9 out of 10) as opposed to guy #1’s ‘girl’ who was probably a 6 or 7 out of 10 when it came to the looks department.

But the interesting part about all of this was that neither of these ‘girls’ had any desire to get a ‘ticket’ out of Thailand and go and live in a Western country

I know a couple of guys here in Perth that are both married to Thai women (real women), neither of them are what I would call ‘beautiful’ and if you were to compare them to Ladyboys of the same age, I would probably have to say that they are both ugly in comparison

So I guess my real question is this – Is Love So Blind?

Is it really possible for the most hardened straight guy to fall in love with a beautiful “woman” who has a penis?

This TV show says yes! – But I’m interested in your thoughts

Incidentally I was on my internet based e-mail site tonight and there was actually an advert for a dating site that specializes in guys meeting Ladyboys ONLY! So there must be a good market out there – lol !

The following is an excerpt from an article that I found on the internet -

Just what is a ladyboy? Thailand is famous for them, and any visitor to Thailand will at some stage during their trip, come across these unusual people who are half lady half boy. They work in spas and behind shop counters. Some hotels employ them as receptionists, others are found waitressing or managing in restaurants. And many are also found in the bar scene, prostituting themselves.

Huh! Prostituting themselves? Yes, you read right, they go home with clients – what they get up to, with their ‘half-half’ tackle is a mystery – but there’s enough of them about to suggest that many punters find these ladyboys curious and titillating enough to hire them for the night. Only in Thailand.

In fact, Thai ladyboys are among the most attractive ‘ladies’ you will see. They certainly take care of themselves and are often so convincing, with their big busts, sexy swagger and perfectly made-up faces that you wouldn’t know the difference. Actually many a sex tourist has been duped by these ‘hermaphrodites’.

Ladyboys are numerous in Thailand and widely accepted as part of the modern culture. It hasn’t always been like this, but Thailand does have a long history of acceptance and some men wanting to be taken for women. Also, many Thai males are slight in stature and look feminine – their facial features are attractive and graceful and their bodies hairless and smaller boned.

In recent decades sophisticated surgery has made it possible for men to become women through plastic surgery to create breasts, as well as changing sex organs. A lifetime prescription of hormones helps keep the testosterone out of their body. Bangkok surgeons have become world famous for performing sex changes or simple cosmetic surgery operations and they are much cheaper. But the reality is, most ladyboys can only afford the breast operation yet the organ change starts at about USD$2000. Therefore most ladybodys are ‘transvestites’ (ie; dressed as women) rather than ‘transsexuals’ (ie complete sex organ change). In short, they have breasts and a penis – a she-male.

Ladyboys are just regular people desperate to be accepted, and when you meet them there’s no need to avoid them. They try extra hard to be women, and often are the most beautiful of all the women in the room. They’re also desperate for the ultimate object that makes them feel like a real women – and that is: a boyfriend. If you’re a guy, don’t be surprised if every ladyboy you ever meet flirts with you.

Since ladyboys are still boys at heart you can expect them to be more forward than girls (especially in bars and discos – where a women smiling aggressively at you is likely to be a ladyboy). They can also be very masculine when angered, and have a reputation for being violent or pushy in a manner you wouldn’t expect from a lady.

Ladyboys are very proactive in getting themselves ‘sorted’. One of the country’s most famous ladyboys went from champion Thai kickboxer to transsexual – documented in the movie Beautiful Boxer where his/her trademark was to kiss her defeated opponents on the forehead. Another movie, Saitree Lex, was made about the true story of a ladyboy volleyball team that won the national championships against the odds – dressed in drag no less!

I have been to Phuket (Thailand) on many occasions – just on a family holiday – so I have seen for myself these strange human beings, yet I have never felt any ‘pity’ for them. As far as I was concerned they were all some kind of ‘Circus Act’ I guess, but having watched this TV show I now realise that they often have a very un-happy life (certainly unfulfilled) – not “man” enough to father children  and also not ‘woman’ enough to give birth – very sad in my opinion.

Apparently the Thai city of Pattaya actually has more Ladyboys than even Bangkok! With over 20,000 bars (Yes, TWENTY-THOUSAND), it has become the Ladyboy capital of Thailand and millions of foreign men go there every year to play in their ‘playground’. They spend their hard-earned cash on booze and sex and it seems that many of these foreign men become ‘hooked’ on the lifestyle or even fall ‘in love’ with these half men, half women

But as the article above asks – Just what DO these seemingly ‘straight men’ get up to in the bedroom with a ‘woman’ who has a penis?

It’s beyond me……..!

The next episode apparently will highlight the plight of a 31-year old Ladyboy who is coming to the end of her ‘shelf life’ in Pattaya. Younger and more beautiful ‘women’ coming into town will be huge competition for ‘her’, thus making it more difficult for her to earn enough money to live

Of course there will be those that say “Well she should have prepared for this and saved her money” – but in reality, I guess it’s not so simple in everyday life when money seems to come so ‘easily’ in the beginning

But at the risk of repeating myself, Guys…what would YOU do if you found yourself in the company of a stunningly beautiful woman and after becoming three-parts-pissed found yourself in your hotel room together – only to discover later on that ‘she’ has the most stunning body, beautiful breasts and………… a penis?

This is one occasion where ‘Actions Speak Louder Than Words’ could take us to a whole new level – hahaha!

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
(Showing 1 to 9 of 9) 1
#2014-03-14 18:39:44 by Barry1 @Barry1


"Just what DO these seemingly ‘straight men’ get up to in the bedroom with a ‘woman’ who has a penis?
It’s beyond me……..!"

Paul, in answer to your question, let me advise the following.

1. The "lady" has a mouth and a very deep throat that no doubt could accommodate a large sized banana, that she's probably practised on multiple times. :x

2. "She" also has an anus (wide and well used, no doubt) and carries plenty of tubes of lubricant. ;)

So the man can take his pick...... or if he's up to it, do both! (rofl)

#2014-03-15 12:36:40 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Have you seen "The Crying Game" ?

#2014-03-15 17:07:26 by anonymous9265 @anonymous9265

The man visited these transgender people, will frequently patronize? Or is not for the second time, because they have no appetite for transgender people.

#2014-03-16 08:24:04 by bmccull @bmccull

Given the title of this piece, it will not be long before you come out...

Ok, just kidding (or maybe not!). You express surprise that men who like ladyboys do not think of themselves as gay. However men who are gay are not interested in ladyboys. So clearly there is something else going on here.

As to your ultimate question: been there and done that....

#2014-03-16 16:47:01 by anonymous9282 @anonymous9282

This article from a more logical and fair assessment on why " "Just what DO these seemingly ‘straight men’ get up to in the bedroom with a ‘woman’ who has a penis?
It’s beyond me……..!"
from a TS point of view

"A lot of guys who show interest in TS's are, in fact, bisexual. Others are bi-curious. Still others are looking for cheap thrills. Some men find TS's to be more feminine than GG's. And then, of course, there are guys who seem to just plain connect better with a pre-op transsexual than a GG."

TS = Transsexual / ladyboys, GG = Genetic Girls

"Some men find today's so-called independent woman to be not very feminine at all, overly assertive, argumentative, prone to characterizing a simple male advance as "harassment," and a general pain in the ass to be around. One guy told me dating a so-called independent woman "is like dating your brother." Who among the women of today delight in being extremely (and classically) feminine? The TS's.

Gay men respond to masculinity, not femininity.

What is the essence of femininity? Females are nurturers and pleasers by nature. They are warm, loving beings who love to please. Sex tends to be tied up with romantic love.

Interestingly enough, this approach to pleasing a man and adopting a feminine appearance is rather sadly lacking today among genetic women.
When my girlfriend and I go off to the movies or a restaurant, she is almost always the only female in the place in a blouse and skirt, or a dress -- and both the men and women notice her. You can see the envy in the men's eyes. They want their women to dress in a more feminine manner too, and it isn't happening for them. The TS's often have a better understanding of what men want, a better grip on how to be female."

lessons for you girlssssssss............ BE MORE FEMININE, or those seemingly good-looking muscle bound straight men (the bisexual / bi-curious / cheap thrill seekers) will do 'it's beyond me' and PREFER those TS

Does it not spoken on the documentary? Maybe they should interview the TS too (fubar)

#2014-03-16 23:15:30 by anonymous9290 @anonymous9290

to anonymous9282, I think this makes a lot of sense. The only disagreement I have it this: dating women these days is more like dating your enemy especially here in the west.

#2014-03-17 00:56:07 by anonymous9292 @anonymous9292

I thought that CLM community decided that 'alternative' lifestyle and dating was not going to be encouraged... What happened?

I don't have too much issue with alternative lifestyles - not my thing, but each to his/her own desires! But I can't help wondering if the dynamics and lewd descriptions of genitalia and where it might be placed really need to be discussed on CLM since it is primarily a 'dating site for women and men to meet with a view to marriage'.

I can't help but notice the tone of the website has become particularly 'bloke-ish' recently! And there seems to be a bit of a pi$$ing competition going on to see who can mention their genitalia the most and how many places they have been able to place it throughout Asia!

Again, this might be the character of the commentors but it it starts to alienate the one thing I am on the site for - women looking for serious relationships - then it might be counter to the community.

Guys, while I respect your right to publish what you feel is appropriate, please consider other in the community as you write and comment - thanks!

#2014-03-17 14:17:13 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@anonymous9292 - thanks for your comments. To be honest though, this certainly isn't the first blog that we've posted about ladyboys, and I hope nobody is making the mistake of thinking we are now promoting that alternate style relationship.

Because we aren't going to do that now or ever. This site and ALM will never change from being long term relationship sites between men and women. We guarantee it.

I agree with you that there has been too much talk of "getting laid just for the sake of getting laid" in recent weeks and I agree that too much of it is going to turn off some of the women, so we are trying to put the brakes on in that regards. But your comments confirm my own growing fears so they're appreciated.

#2014-03-19 21:32:48 by sandy339 @sandy339

This is also beyond my understanding.
We have a very famous scholar, named Li Yinhe, according to her study about gays,
some of them are in real deep love, I just cann't understand. But some of them just followed the fashion, I heard one of my classmates said two men kissed at subway, I highly suspected it would be just a show.
So no interest in them and cann't understand them so far.

(Showing 1 to 9 of 9) 1
To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space. Ask Paul Fox a Question : Click here...