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Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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My First Date After Lily (Part 7)    

By Barry Pittman
1258 Views | 1 Comments | 12/9/2017 6:42:52 AM

The words below describe a bonfire that simmered for some time and finally erupted in the comments section of my last blog, “My First Date After Lily (Part 6)”

Towards the end of the firefight, despite being battered and bruised by the weight of public opinion, with a brave magnanimity laced with liberal dosing of nervousness, I murmured out the faltering and rather unconvincing explanation.

“I hope everyone understands that what I've said above is not meant to be taken particularly seriously.  It was meant as a slice of sledgehammer humour. I meant it when earlier in the comments, I mused aloud that life was too short to bear grudges…”

But the stern Editor  @JohnAbbot of the blogs wasn’t having a bar of it. Sensing blood and the unmistakable fragrance of victory, he barked out,

"Would you mind pointing out where the funniest parts are so we all can go back and enjoy that aspect of them. That might lighten what has been a fairly heavy load..."

Despite my debilitated condition, boldly I began answering him but as the words multiplied, almost writing themselves, it seemed to make sense to turn my response into its very own unique blog article as follows.

Warning -  if you’re offended by expletives, please stop reading right now.


@JohnAbbot, you asked me a direct question re what were the funny parts of the Part 6 blog comments, so without prejudice, please allow me to answer as follows in my wry, "sledgehammer humour" way.

To begin, there are three parties involved here:

Moderator of the blog (John Abbot)

Blogger A  - who wrote an article (me)

Blogger B  - who didn't like the article  (Paul Fox)

SUMMARYThe above Moderator allowed Blogger A to be severely criitcised by Blogger B.  Blogger B referred to Blogger A’s article using quite derisive and inflammatory phrases such as "..quite frankly this is…. f*cking boring...." , "excruciating", or "we're all bored shitless"   Then when Blogger A complained about the gratuitous rudeness, rather than being supported, on balance, stunningly he received little or no support from a hard-nosed Moderator!

You wouldn’t read about it!

Actually…  you would…  right here….


Let's dive in headfirst.  Get straight to the point.

What I find are the “funniest parts are so we all can go back and enjoy that aspect of them…” (as asked by the Moderator), are as follows.

I find it f**kin' hilarious that when blogger B used quite unnecessarily rude words to describe Blogger A's article, that rather than being supported, the Moderator did everything but call Blogger A a simpering, nancy boy jellyfish for lacking the spine to defend himself and having the audacity to complain about the abuse!

Instead of Blogger B being duly rapped swiftly over the knuckles,  astonishingly it was hapless Blogger A who was admonished,

"You're a big boy.....You don't need me to protect you......"

This is despite Blogger A spending hours penning his material for free. He even reminded everyone that because he wasn't a professional writer, sometimes his articles would be a bit mundane.

"Some of my stuff is dead set uninteresting... agreed.... "

I also find it f**kin' amusing that Blogger A then issued a challenge to the Moderator to pen a more interesting article himself (the request of course, was not responded to),

"If you can do any better... please write some blogs yourself, sir."

To exacerbate matters, I find it f**kin' funny that incredibly, the Moderator then started indirectly further attacking guileless Blogger A, by agreeing with Blogger B, by indirectly inferring that yes, Blogger A's introspective blog was indeed boring! 

"If a person who has read your many blogs and enjoyed them, is finding a couple of them now to be boring, isn't he or she likely to keep reading your newly published blogs in the hope that this would be the one in which you returned to your former interesting self?"

Whoever heard of a Moderator who is acutely short of active blog writers, criticising a hard working voluntary blogger (albeit indirectly) for penning what he (the Moderator) considered to be a boring article? 

Isn't it a Moderator's duty to through thick and thin, support his precious bloggers, since most people wouldn't persevere through the tedious and arguably thankless task? None of them are professional writers. They simply toll away in good faith, doing their best under challenging circumstances of writing about sometimes very personal and quite painful issues. As I fruitlessly appealed to John Abbot,

"It's a difficult job, being a blogger.  It's made doubly difficult when people snipe from the sidelines about how boring they are!"

I also find it f**kin’ funny that Blogger A under stress then decided to go on the attack, rather cheekily asserting that the Moderator was too old to do his job properly!

“John, you and I are both old farts…. This site needs a much younger management in my view, in order to help revitalise it…… it has gone stale.   Grumpy old crotchety men like Paul Fox, you and I need to be shown the door.  Given the boot.  Told to go out and do some knitting whilst quietly rocking in the armchair….”

I find it extraordinarily f**kin' funny when under this intense pressure, besieged Blogger A then compared the Moderator to the aged Zimbabwean ex-President!

"Look at President Mugabe - even at age 93, he wanted to remain the head of Zimbabwe and had to be nearly carried out of office.  Some people cannot see that their turn has come...."

I then find it f**kin’ hilarious when Blogger B finally broke his brooding and apparently guilty silence by making a highly entertaining comment,

“At this rate we'll be reading "My First Date After Lily - Part 94' before Barry actually gets one…..”

Let me advise Blogger B that yes, the pickings are f**kin’ slim out there for ageing, f**kin' ugly stick insects like me, as far as females are concerned.  Sometimes I think maybe the best solution would be to purchase a high quality silicone rubber doll that at the very least, wouldn't abruptly ditch me like my last girlfriend.  This was despite her telling me many times about how much she loved me!  If you don't laugh at all of this, you'd f**kin' cry!

I found it particularly f**kin' amusing also when Blogger B felt compelled to ask "Do you guys REALLY think that I am a fool?.... You are ALL blinded by the BS and the indoctrination we all receive since birth....Fools !"

To which the Moderator then replied "What on earth does your last comment relate to? I have no idea what you're blathering on about."  F**kin' funny stuff indeed!

I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that I also found it f**kin’ hilarious when @Imi5922 then entered the robust argument and told me to start dressing more properly!

“you have to stop whining. Put your pants back on…..”

I find it f**kin’ amusing that overall, Blogger A received little support at all from anyone, except discerning, high quality folk like @RWByrum, @SwedenViking and @newbeginning  The cream always rises to the top, thank you, gentlemen.  Even normally impartial, considered people like Melcyan were not supportive of my views, asking a rhetorical, yet indirectly critical question,

“Exactly how old are you?

Let me answer this by saying somewhat mischievously that I'm younger than you, my dear good chap!

I also found it f**kin’ funny that the Moderator didn’t immediately support my main argument below, that hitherto I'd considered had been so bleeding obvious that it should never have been needed to put into words.

“How many potential bloggers have been turned away from submitting an article here, when they can see that vitriolic abuse from unenlightened boors will be happily and freely tolerated by the management?”

I also found it rather f**kin' jocular when at the very end, FINALLY the hard-nosed Moderator implored Paul Fox in not so many words, to in future, please refrain from being a narcissistic smart-arse and start acting like a decent human being.

“Would it be too much to ask you to continue using that great sense of humour to make your point in the future and refrain from the expletive filled cannon fodder approach?”

Looking at myself in the mirror, I also find it f**kin' comical that I'm up to Part 7 of "My First Date After Lily" series and I haven't even brushed my hair, cleaned my teeth or put on my shoes yet!  To everyone's chagrin, what a f**kin' serpentine river of maudlin f**kin' reminiscences this f**kin' blog series is turning out to be! 

I had also explained at the beginning that the story was written primarily for my own benefit, but that didn't stop all the unsympathetic haters from their hating. I thus found it mighty f**kin' amusing that even though I'd politely asked them to move on, the haters simply ignored me and continued their moanin' and bitchin' about how f**kin' tiresome my article was - what a rib-tickling hoot!

"I'm cognisant also that some may find my recollections a bit boring, which is a real possibility as it's written primarily for my own benefit..... If anyone doesn't like it, then simply move on to someone else's blog and annoy them! Put another way, the simple answer to all the bored or impatient readers then is easy. Stop reading my articles! "

I could go on and on.  I think you get the idea though.  Enough said, I'd better stop. Otherwise the recidivist misanthropes lurking around here will accuse me of writing yet another overly long, f**kin' boring blog! 

As it thus uproariously evolved, the comments area of my Part 6 article turned out to be one f**kin’ hilarious moment after another. A swirling kaleidoscope of clashing personalities, verbal barbs and bruised egos.  How f**kin' great is that!  A writer's aim is to provoke a reaction, after all.

In retrospect, once the poignancy of everything moderated and the ruffled feathers popped back into place, anyone who failed to see the comical side of this silly tempest in a teacup has to be a f**kin' dour character indeed.

Thank you to everyone involved. You are one f**kin' bunch of very f**kin’ funny people. Salute!

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2017-12-09 06:42:01 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I have decided that Barry should be allowed to have the last word in this issue, and am not going to publish any further comments on either this post, or on Part 6 of this series. It's my hope that we can move on to more positive and constructive matters. If anyone wishes to discuss this decision, or attempt to have me rethink this decision, feel free to write me at and add "Attn: John" in the subject line.

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