Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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My First Date After Lily (Part 6)    

By Barry Pittman
6403 Views | 65 Comments | 9/10/2017 1:43:20 PM
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#2017-12-02 12:04:47 by newbeginning @newbeginning

Big Barry, no need to worry about negative comments on your blogs as you have the balls to write about your actual experiences in a real relationship with a Chinese woman you met on this site. Something many of us men here have not experienced yet. Do not let an obviously grumpy old man bring you down, personally I have learned a lot through your experiences and enjoy all your articles. I tend to agree with RWByrum Joey the negative crap slide,, you do far more good here than bad so for me at least keep posting your experiences here!

Cheers mate

#2017-12-02 19:03:16 by Barry1 @Barry1


"Do not let an obviously grumpy old man bring you down...."


Thanks for the support, mate.  @JohnAbbot may not be aware of how much damage he's doing by allowing critics to snipe from the sidelines, over-the-top ridicule such as ""f*cking boring" or "bored shitless",

As stated, bloggers here do their work for free.  None are professional writers. So I'm mystified why the Editor here would permit such caustic venom to be spewed out to people who are doing their best - regardless of the fact whether it's true or not. 

Put another way, how many potential bloggers have been turned away from submitting an article here, when they can see that vitriolic abuse from unenlightened boors will be happily and freely tolerated by the management?

Saying things like "Barry, you're a big boy now, you can look after yourself" or words to that effect, miss the point entirely.

@JohnAbbot, I would think carefully about what I've said.  It's difficult enough to attract new bloggers here, without old grumpy farts being permitted to ridicule in rude fashion, whatever they want, whenever they want.

Were I the editor here, I'd be actively encouraging new bloggers to submit their material.  There'd be no way I'd let old, intolerant bloggers who based on their past record, to hurl nasty abuse at other bloggers.

@JohnAbbot, I urge you to rethink your policies.   Just because a blogger has a long-standing record, shouldn't automatically give him the God-given right to act and talk toward his peers like a churlish schoolboy.  :^)


#2017-12-02 19:21:24 by Barry1 @Barry1


Let me say that you sound like an extraordinarily good person, Roger. 


Perusal of your blog shows that you've been seared by the harsh blowtorch of life and somehow emerged victorious and mjuch wiser from the experience.  Not only that, but the blog subject matter itself makes inordinate good sense to me.


Well done indeed, I say!  (beer)(beer)(clap)(clap)

#2017-12-03 13:24:12 by Barry1 @Barry1


Whilst on the subject of blogs, may I say this publicly rather than privately, in the hope of getting others' views on it.

That is, I believe the whole blog and forum area would be MUCH revitalised overnight, if comments were published in a more timely fashion.  That is, within an hour or two, rather than a day (or sometimes two).

Needing to wait up to 24 hours (or more) before a comment's published in my view, is akin to throwing a wet rag on a fire that you want to burn brightly.

#2017-12-03 13:43:08 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@Barry1 - frankly Barry, it's pretty astonishing to me that you're taking the approach that your feeling offended is all my fault, instead of taking aim at the person who offended you. Back in the day when Paul was attacking Imi and I was defending Imi (but not censoring Paul's comments), where were you on the subject? Joining in the attack on Imi as I recall. 

Paul made some harsh comments, but they were not harsher than many other comments he's made. They were not harsher than comments other have made over the years. The difference was they were directed at you this time. But your blaming me for comments made by Paul is a little bit like shooting the messenger.

A number of years back, there was a huge curfuffle when someone made an anonymous comment that was harshly critical of a blogger, and in the end the consensus was that we would limit the ability of people to make such comments anonymously but would not censor them if the person making them revealed him or herself. I've stuck with that policy since then, and I'm not inclined to change.

However, I welcome everyone to express their thoughts and feelings on the subject, and if enough people feel that the policy should change I'd consider it.

I might point out that since Paul made the remarks we've had 2 new extremely promising bloggers join us, so they didn't seem to feel threatened by seeing Paul's comments. 

#2017-12-03 13:54:23 by Barry1 @Barry1


Bloggers here do their work for free.  None are professional writers. So I'm mystified why the Editor here would permit such caustic venom to be spewed out to people who are doing their best - regardless of the fact whether it's true or not. 

Put another way, how many potential bloggers have been turned away from submitting an article here, when they can see that vitriolic abuse from unenlightened boors will be happily and freely tolerated by the management?  :^)

#2017-12-03 16:51:32 by Barry1 @Barry1


John, as a long time member of CLM, may I pose the following two questions without prejudice and with great respect.




Do you truly believe that two new bloggers joining CLM in the past SIX MONTHS is a sterling achievement?  



Do you think that the CLM blogs would benefit having a change of management? 


May I proffer the suggestion that you get someone twenty or thirty years younger.  Someone who is not so inward looking;  someone fresh faced and eager to turn a new page with renewed enthusiasm and pacey, exciting ideas?


It's too bad that I'm an old fart, otherwise I'd volunteer to do it (for free).  But CLM needs someone much younger than I.  And someone much more tolerant than Paul Fox.


With great respect, you've done a great job here over the past ten plus years, John. But even the best of us get tired;  become a bit jaded; get too crotchety and set in our ways.


Perhaps Peter @woaizhongguo could do it?  He may not be quite as young as I'd recommended, but he's extremely smart; writes well; is a good guy; and isn't so set in his ways as some of the rest of us old farts.


Could you kindly consider my suggestion above?  :^)




#2017-12-04 02:45:54 by Imi5922 @Imi5922



Since John has mentioned my name in his last comments to Barry's snivel, let me add something to the "matter."


John, you don't need to change anything about the comments or how you conduct CLM because a single member doesn't like it.


Barry, you have to stop whining. Put your pants back on. Stop eating nuts (they're for birds) and put some meat in your diet. Be a man. If someone bitchslaps you, hit him with your fist and don't run to someone else for protection, let alone blame him.


What amazes me is that, though, when you had had the opportunity to write and be talkative about your feelings for a woman you supposedly loved, you had done none of that. You immersed us in stories about toilets and your favorite subject: you. So, personally, it's hard for me to believe that after so many months she had kicked you out, you still suffer from an acute heartache. To me, it seems to be nothing more than acting. If I'm too blunt, and my words hurt your feelings, I'm sorry, but probably that's what you need now to move on. However, you may be fair to ask, why does a 49-year-old man think that he can give me advice on anything? Well, Barry, because it's hard for me to see a sixty-something-year-old man not act to his age. With this whining of yours, do you think any woman would be seriously interested in you?


When it comes to your blogs, especially the last one, I had to skip paragraphs when I read it. It was dense with self-pity like the air in a swamp, and I didn't mean to sink in your overly troubled thoughts. You could have written about those dark feelings in two paragraphs. I'm not saying we can't talk about our disappointments. You just need to get a feel for not to step over the borderline where your verbosity causes boredom in your readers instead of compassion.


I can't tell one person that I know who didn't have a heartache. After all, that's why we all have found CLM to have a new beginning after a heartbreak. Why don't you move on, Barry, and have a fresh start? Cheer up, and with your intelligence and talent for writing, I'm sure, you'll attract women by the thousands. ;)          


#2017-12-04 09:16:06 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@Barry1  Thanks Barry!  I always try to be the best person that I can be.  Unfortunetly, I don't always succeed.

#2017-12-04 14:10:32 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@PaulFox1 - it's interesting that Paul is remaining strangely silent in light of the angst his vitriolic remarks has caused poor Barry. I guess he considers that his job is done.

@Imi5922 - ooops, now I will surely be roasted even more for not censoring your criticism of Barry. I hope he'll at least notice that I also have not censored his criticism of me.

I also trust he will recognize that mixed in with your criticicm of his blog was a healthy dose of good, and well intended, advice.

@Barry1 - one thing I am confident of is that Paul's 2 briefly stated, albeit harsh criticisms of you would likely have been overlooked almost instantly by any potential bloggers, and if not overlooked, then quickly forgotten. On the other hand your endless whining and bitching about it surely will have turned a few people off. And of course, your public criticism of me over several days can't help but have done some damage to the blogs as well. Whether or not they're valid, and they may well be, surely they belonged in a private letter and not posted here.

However, I guess if Imi is right then chances are that very few readers of this blog are getting to the bottom of it, let alone bothering to read the comments below. I can always hope.

As for your suggestion about a younger person taking over the moderation of the blogs, I'd be happy to consider it if the right person came along.  If anybody out there who is not a "tired old fart" like Barry and myself is interested in taking on the moderation of the blogs and forum as a volunteer, please do let me know. @RWByrum - you seem to have both a great attitude and at least 10 years before you too will have joined us in the category of "tired old fart", so maybe you'd like to give it a go?

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