Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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My China Trip - Day 10 我的中国之行—第10天    

By Barry Pittman
5823 Views | 30 Comments | 6/4/2014 2:21:50 PM

As I awoke this morning in my hotel room, something was different.  What was it?

Ahh, it was raining.  In fact it was pouring heavily.  I'd been lucky so far - this was the first day of any significant rain that I'd struck so far on my journey.

Tina had warned me about this, making sure I brought two pairs of walking shoes with me.

We were to spend the day in Shawan, her home turf.  A town of just a few thousand people, it wasn’t over run by a multitude of car horn blowing cars and frantically moving people so evident in larger cities.  Yet there were still enough to wake me up each morning.   Chinese drivers just love to toot their horns at everything that moves  -  and some things that don't!

Three wheeled bicycle driven pedicabs were common here and for just a couple of yuan, one could be chauffeured from one side of town to the other.  During the day, I loved riding in the pedicabs, feeling like a king.  But at night time, I considered them to be death traps, with nil lighting or reflectors to highlight them.

As the late morning arrived, so the rain cleared to a beautiful day.  Or so I thought.  Because soon enough, I smelt the unmistakeable scent of photochemical smog in the air, as an atmospheric inversion layer resultant from the rain, trapped all the smokey air in the town from escaping upwards.  So all the fumes from the many factories in the region were pumping their pollution directly into the town.

Shawan thus typified all that was good about China – and all that was bad. On the good side, it was a smallish town full of charm and character, with many traditional buildings and a seeming simple lifestyle for most residents.

On the negative side, the town suffered from a pollution problem, there was no doubt about it.  Clear visibility on a good day was just a few hundred metres, before photochemical opacity began to intrude.  What a shame.

“I wonder what long term effects this must have on the residents?”, I mused to myself.  Of course, I was more concerned in particular about Tina, who’d spent the past twenty-five or so years here.  Wendy her daughter had spent the entire innocent sixteen years of her life here also.

I had read recently that China was to crack down more heavily on polluters.  But like anything you hear about in China, one never really knew if it was true or not?  Graft and corruption was rife  – I can imagine a few bureaucrats could easily be swayed by the passing of money from the big polluting companies, to give a tick of environmental approval to them, no matter how many noxious monoxides their factory chimneys routinely belched out.  Money equates to power in China.  Big money means big power.

In the early afternoon, Tina and I decided to go for a hike in the foothills around Shawan.  This was the training area where nearly every day for the past ten or so years she’d trekked around, unless she took the one hour bus trip directly to Mt Emei to walk, which she did once per week.

Walking across the bridge over the river flowing through Shawan soon saw us in the foothills.  Though they were low by Mt Emei standards, they nevertheless provided a solid workout for our legs as we power walked up and then down them.  Many interesting small fields of cultivated vegetables were seen, perhaps just five metres by ten metres,just enough to support a family.  Wild chooks and roosters ran around;  some very old farmers’ cottages were dotted here and there; the odd gravesite or cemetery was also seen.

“What a scenic, wonderful place to work out!”, I thought to myself.

No wonder Tina’s legs were so strong.  She told me that she rarely took a day off from her fast walking exercises that lasted each day usually for an hour and a half up to two hours.  Or six hours,  when she went to the Mt Emei area.

Surpisingly few people were seen in the Shawan foothills, that surprised me, given they were literally on the doorstop of the town.  Only a few farmers, with the odd walker, is all.

As we fast walked past one group of farmers who were nattering to themselves, Tina laughed aloud, saying,

“Barry, they’re talking about you. They’re surprised to see a Westerner in these parts!”, she chuckled.

The relationship between Tina and I was a little puzzling.  I knew that she liked me.  I in turn very much liked her.  Yet no formal words of a possible permanent relationship had been seriously discussed. No real talk about where my trip was ultimately leading to.

“I won’t be able to stay here forever!”, I wondered, “Maybe I should initiate some sort of discussion with her?”  

Chinese dating was still a bit of a mystery to me.  As were Chinese women.  Come to think of it, ALL ladies were a puzzle to me!

Should I say something or was it too premature to do this?  If I did say something, would it be taken the right way?  Or would I possibly be seen as being too forceful?

“Damned if I do and damned if I don’t!” were the wry words floating around in my mind.

Towards the end of our walk we jogged across the long Shawan bridge. I felt happy that Tina had to stop half way and I was able to manage the full distance.  But then again, my fleeting feelings of superiority were quickly quashed when I recalled my dismal performance on the Mt Emei ascent.  There Tina had given me a walloping as far as physical stamina was concerned.  She was one strong babe, even if I could beat her in a longish jog on flat ground.  Hell, my legs were a lot longer than hers, after all.  But to counter this, she was a decade and a half younger than me.  So on paper, everything balanced out.

That evening, we took an hour’s stroll around Shawan.  But it was approaching 9.20pm, the time that her daughter Wendy returned home from school. She returned home at the same time every week night, driven by the same elderly man in his ancient, monogeared pedicab.  Some things in a small town never change and this was one of them.

Soon after returning home, Wendy arrived there also. 

Hello Barry” she said with a smile on her face.  “Did you have a good day?”

Her English pronunciation was better than Tina’s.  This Chinese girl had the lovely looks of her mother, only being a little taller and skinnier.

What a great looking little family this is!”, I silently mused.“I wonder if it’s my fate to become a permanent part of it?”

The countdown was on to make a decision, one way or the other.  Time waited for no man  -  the rumbliings I heard were not from the storm clouds wafting idley above, but from vague troubles within my mind.  I sensed something was afoot.  Something wasn't quite right.

But what?
































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#2014-06-11 19:37:56 by cloudjockey @cloudjockey

HI Barry,

This is my first post on this site although I have been a member/lurker for a while.

I find your story very interesting and from personal experience I can relate to most of it. Sadly for me I never managed to encourage my body to the dedicated exercise regime that has paid off for you but at the same time I do not go climbing mountains with a full pack either.

Anyway on to my thoughts. Something I have learned from my nearly five years living in China is that by and large Chinese ladies do not often initiate things. They can be very direct, almost painfully so at times but rarely have I seen one take the lead in relationship matters. China is still a mans domain although it is changing, quite quickly in big cities, slower on less populated areas as one would expect.

From what I have read both of you are interested in each other although Tina has openly and honestly told you that you have serious competition. While I would never presume to tell you how to proceed with a lady when I have never met either of you I would suggest it is time for the how we feel about each other and the relationship talk, in private of course. Find a restaurant, or a quite place out in the countryside and have a good long discussion about where each of you see the relationship going.

I have been guilty myself of thinking things are going well and putting of the discussion with quite unhappy results. If Tina is waiting for your lead... The man is the head of the household and decision maker.... then you need to step up and initiate it. If you do not she may think you are a really nice guy and enjoys your company but without that leadership and making her feel safe and secure in the family unit and future she may just choose the other guy.

I do not presume to know the mind of Tina, or any other lady for that matter, what man does after all, but I sense that this is something you need to do and very soon. Do not wait until the last day or two of your trip. Take the plunge, get in there and see where the dust settles. It might just be all that is needed to solidify you in Tina's life. Of course it may also bring on the I am sorry Barry you are nice and I like you speech, which will probably destroy the rest of the trip but I think it is a bit overdue to find out where you stand.

Perhaps Tina is waiting for you to show her how important she is to you and that you truly want her in your life . You also mentioned that you could never tell a lady you loved her without ever meeting her in person. Well, now you have met her, spend some good times and trying times together formed a bond, but can you call it love? If the answer is yes then Barry, I suggest you tell her how you feel.

Time waits for no man as they say, especially one with a timetable and a ticket to return home and leave her behind.

Anyway, as I said these are my thoughts and suggestions from someone who has been in your position, so take them as you will. In the end I hope that things work out for both of you and hopefully together. She is a remarkable lady and her daughter sounds like she likes you and approves of you. I bet Tina and Wendy have a a good talk about you as a potential husband/ dad so why not you and Tina?

Regards and good luck to you,


#2014-06-11 21:11:48 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

OOH..... I LOVE a cliffhanger !

Bazza me old mate, I'm on the edge of me seat waiting with baited breath,bitten finger-nails and gritted-teeth - As I am sure are half the population of CLM !

Come on man - spit it out !!!!

#2014-06-12 00:00:30 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

@ Barry 1
Hello Barry.
Ah,...I have been occupied lately and could not respond.
Many things to attend with first of month "statement/ bills".
All is in order now.

I want to say that CLM does not really offer all things I need to say in "profile".
I have not "complete" understanding of 4 languages.
OK,...I am natural mimc with pronunciation.
Does not matter the sound or inflection,... I can imitate easily.
With two degrees in music I have had to study the European "speak".
Was necessary to be able to understand the written language in music scores.
Is interesting,...when I read "old treatises",...takes about 5-10 minutes to understand complete (hehe).
When speaking,...I still have to go through mental process.
I'm sure you understand.
Chinese language is a tad more challenging.
I cannot read the "Chinese characters" good yet but,...keeps trying.
Has the desire to understand and be understood.

I wish to say that Gary Cooper was an actor that I have appreciated.
"High Noon" is a classic film,..."dog gonni't" !!
But there have been so many others that I allowed to have influence !!!!
Good grief, "African Queen", "Casablanca", "The Good Bad and the Ugly", Two Mules for Sister Sarah", Notorious", "How The West Was Won".. the list goes on add infintum.
Is just part of my life experience.

But look,...your last post says you have thought that,... "something may be afoot".
Hopes you remember "bro" that it surely is your own mind that causes concern !!
Really,...there is much deep information I am willing to share.

I just wish to give reminder from "Joel Goldsmith" please,...
" Our purpose in life is the unfolding of the (Universal Source) Spirit Within".
This I feel is the basis for all.
Does not matter which religion or philosophy.
When one encounters the "stuck" point,...remembers this please.
Ah,...get in a quiet space for a few minutes, gets brain out of the way, feels the heart/God(?).
Then gets the understanding that most of what is perceived is illusion.
Ah,...heart answers.
Will be mostly in chest/heart area first to be felt,...then may move to head.
I say,..let the head area go!!!

You and Tina have found each other,...beautiful !!
Just allow the relationship to unfold.
All will be good.

If you have certain considerations about life in China with Tina and her family, already know that you will be good man for her despite other family considerations.
Main thing is, show up "true" to the plate and give your best.
This is all you each can do.

Is really no question.
I just remind each of you to find the "quiet space".
Feels with heart first.
Sees the "Great Good " in front of each.
Then,...hopefully,...moves forward.

Ah,...Peace and Blessings to you both,
Yin Ting Yu (a.k.a.) Gongji

#2014-06-12 05:36:18 by anonymous10367 @anonymous10367

Barry, great story so far! I have noticed that many of the women I have chatted with on cam here have a slight cough and have to clear their throats a lot, sure signs of the smoggers cough...very sad. You mentioned many small veggie patch's along the hiking trail in and around Shawan, with all the pollution there it makes me fear for the water supply as well. How toxic are the veggies coming out of the ground....

Yes Chinese women are confusing, but I find their quick wit, sense of humor and ease of laughter so refreshing. Being from the west I am not used to a woman actually caring about what I have to say, or treating me with the utmost respect. Western women can learn a lot about being a real woman from our Chinese sisters here on this site.

Barry I envy you meeting such a wonderful woman like your Tina, I truly hope you and she end up together in a very happy marriage.........

Proud of you mate!

#2014-06-12 15:17:47 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Barry, first I want to apologize for the fact that 2 of the pictures you posted with this blog went missing. Please send them to me by email and I'll get them up.

Next I want to comment about 2 of the photos that are posted here.

The top one is seeing its second tour of duty on this series, and even the first time I thought the two of you looked pretty darn cozy together for a couple who had not decided if they are a couple yet. Seeing it posted here again just makes me doubly suspicious that you're holding back on us, Barry boy!

And finally, the second photo of Tina has finally provided the evidence I needed to see before I could be convinced she really is Chinese. Just the very fact that she loved hiking, and trudging around on Mount Emei every weekend caused me grave concerns, because most of the Chinese women I know prefer to do their trudging in the local shopping malls.

But there, in this photo, is the ultimate evidence that she is definitely a Chinese woman. That being the umbrella she is carrying when there is no sign of rain. And it not only proves she is Chinese, but also serves to bring our attention to the fact that she has very white skin in spite of hiking around out in the sun everyday,which leads to the final conclusion that she must carry that umbrella with her on all her hikes, something you have failed to bring to our attention. How delightfully Chinese she is Barry, good for you friend.

#2014-06-12 16:15:25 by Grace172 @Grace172

I agree with paulfox1
Barry, spit it out !!!!

#2014-06-12 20:46:06 by Barry1 @Barry1


Thanks so much for this great advice, Brian. You sound like a really decent bloke.

I'm going to take you up on it, In think. I'll wait for just the right moment.

I really appreciate you spending the time to tell me your story.

Hopefully you'll read in one of my upcominng articles how everything pans out.

Bye mate (y)

#2014-06-12 20:48:14 by Barry1 @Barry1


Paul, things are not going here as routinely and as smoothly as one would hope.

I'm taking nothing for granted. This relationship is certainly not a "done deal" at this moment.

Let's see how things pan out, I guess.

Cheers Paul. (y)

#2014-06-12 20:59:35 by Barry1 @Barry1


Another very interesting and heartfelt posting, YinTingYu. Thank you so much.

I'm sorry I don't have more time to respond to you but time's tight over here. I barely have time to write the blog articles these days, let alone respond to good hearted people such as you who comment on them.

Yes, something's afoot over here. But I'll describe more of this in my upcoming articles.

Once again, I appreciate everything you've said to me, YingTingYu. Your words won't go unheeded as they are so interesting to me.

Bye for now.

Best wishes

#2014-06-12 21:14:06 by Barry1 @Barry1


Thanks for your comments, Anon10367.

Yes, it wouldn't surprise me if all the veggies are slightly contaminated here. It's a real shame, as Shawan is a nice rural little town yet's surrounded by belching heavy industries.

So many of my male friends are now considering online Asian or Chinese dating. A lot of Western ladies are simply too arrogant, is the general consensus., so I guess they have no one but themselves to blame.

Good luck with everything, mate. (y)

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