Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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My China Trip - Day 3 我的中国之行-- 第三天    

By Barry Pittman
8195 Views | 23 Comments | 5/29/2014 8:34:16 PM

Tina and I awoke early in the rather comfortable rooms in the farmer's hotel located at the base of Mt Emei.  I had previously thought that because the room had two separate beds that she was to share the rooom with me but to my surprise, at bedtime the previous evening she disapppeared to another room.

In any case, no big deal.  I didn't wish to rush matters with Tina.  She was a very sweet, innocent lady who typified all that was good about Chinese women.  She was slender with a nice physique, possessed a sweet nature and to cap it all off, often had a beguiling smile on her face.   She was indeed a happy soul and it was this disarming attribute of hers that initially attracted me to her.

To reiterate what I've already mentioned, we met initially last October through This website is a veritable godsend to those dismayed Westerners who are sick and tired of being hungrily fleeced by all the online dating scam websites out there, feeding off people's loneliness and misery like leeches sucking blood. Only these scum sites don't suck blood - they suck money from lonely and trusting types such as how I myself used to be.  

Tina had taken the lead and sent a message to me first - I never would have sent a message to her due to our age difference.  She's 44, I'm 59.  Is a fifteen year age gap too wide?  I guess time will tell. This is an important issue we're each trying to assess right now.

Following our online dating meeting, we clicked instantly and started chatting just about every day, always using webcam. Two or three weeks after our meeting however, Tina nonchalently told me that she'd also started chatting every day to a gentleman from New Zealand (who we'll call George).  I replied, 

"Well, since I'm chatting to more than one person, it's only fair that you should be able to do this as well".

So for months now, Tina has been chatting like clockwork to two men every day without fail. It just so happens that I'm the first person to fly to China to see her.  George has said that he won't be far behind me however!

But back to the farmer's hotel I mentioned earlier.  Around 7.30am Tina started knocking on the hotel room door, waking me up.  We had a tough day plannned, to take a big bite out of the Mt Emei hike, so lazily sleeping in wasn't an option.

Jumping into the shower, I again cursed the squat type toilet in the bathroom.  Not only was it difficult to use for someone with gummy knees like mine, but it was dangerous, I thought. That is, because these things are at floor level, one could possibly be tripped by it or even step straight into it, if one wasn't looking! It was located between the sink and the shower in the tiny bathroom, so there wasn't much margin for error.  Put one foot wrong and it'd go straight into the toilet!

Imagine ending up in a Chinese hospital with a twisted or broken ankle because of a mistake like this.  I can see it now, the doctor at the hospital saying,

"I'm sorry to inform you that you have a badly twisted ankle with severe ligament damage.  How did you do it?  Sky diving?  Rock climbing?"

"No doctor, I accidentally stepped into the hotel room toilet this morning."

I can see the doctor trying not to giggle and then spend the rest of the day telling all his amused colleagues about the silly Westerner who stepped into his toilet!

In any case, I ended up having a pee in the shower - such is my contempt of squat toilets!

Tina and I quickly sorted our backpacks out, slung them on and started our long talked about journey, full of confidence and good cheer for the day ahead.  Gosh, what a beautiful lake we saw near the hotel - it resembled something out of the Swiss Alps, with mirror-like reflections of the tall trees surrounding it on its smooth, glassy surface.

"I could live here!", I happily thought to myself.

After about an hour's hike, we came upon a monastery.  It housed a giant, gold coloured Buddha within it.  Prayer cushions were in front of it.  Tina stood there and sombrely clasped her hands together and proffered a silent prayer. The scene looked somewhat surreal. 

On the spur of the moment, I knelt down on the middle cushion, clasped my hands together and then slowly bowed my head two times, silently giving a prayer for both my exwife and for George.  I prayed that both would find happiness, one way or the other. Was it a little silly to offer a few words of benediction to my competitor for Tina's hand?

As I bowed my head each time during my invocation, a monk sitting nearby rang his gong once, a soulful sound that reverberated eerily around the temple interior.  It seemed to be a Buddhist custom that the gong was sounded, every time a person supplicating on the mats bowed their head.  It certainly added extra depth and solemnity to the occasion.

As it turned out, about every hour's trekking, Tina and I came across another temple. They seemed to be dotted along the trail, providing spiritual comfort to weary travelers. They varied in size and quality of construction, some being quite nice and others were rather rundown.  Each one was free to enter and take a walk around in.  Many of them offered very basic accommodation for tired hikers.  They were each occupied by a varying number of monks of the same sex, generally ranging from three up to about ten or so.  The monks all had shaved heads and wore simple yet distinctive garb.  Tina told me their main purpose in life was to perform a lot of daily scriptural and book reading and also to provide guidance and solace for those who requested this. In their down time, they walked in the forest and tended to their vegetable gardens.  They receive a monthly salary from the Chinese government and as a rule, are all quiet, reflective and introspective souls, each on private and personal journeys of inner self discovery. Tina had told me many times of her respect and deference for them.

On a lighter note, I always thought it highly amusing that whenever Tina spoke about the monks, she'd refer to them in her Chinglish as "monkeys", such as

"Yes Barry, the monkeys are very devout and good people"

In similar vein, she'd refer to Buddhists as "bamboo", as in,

"The monkeys are all very devout bamboo.".  How could anyone fail to be charmed by such an endearing person as this?

As the day wore on, fatigue unwelcomely reared its ugly head, dammit. I began to slowly curse my backpack, that now was becoming a real burden to carry.  The Mt Emei trail consists of THOUSANDS of steps that would be a hard job ascending totally unemcumbered, let alone with a fifteen kg sack of what felt like lead hanging down from your shoulders.  The first four hours or so of trekking were fine, but after that, I really began to feel increasingly uncomfortable.  After six hours, I was a walking zombie, with a seemingly never ending succession of steps, steps, steps in front of me.  

Back home I'd been in training for months for this adventure, but today realised I'd made a significant flaw.  That is, all my many hours of fast walking and jogging on the treadmill had been without a backpack. Silly me!

In the real world, having to carry a weighty pack is way harder after a few miles, than not having to carry one. They really wear you down, particuarly when continually striding uphill.  Besides which, I couldn't seem to get the damn thing comfortable.  It was either dragging on my hips or pressing odd shaped things into my back, that became rather painful after a while.

To my astonishment however, Tina was bounding along happily,  seemingly oblivious to the significant weight she was carrying.  She told me that nearly every day of the year, she regularly walked in the mountains, either here or in the foothills around her home town, always carrying a backpack. Her slender body was very accustomed to this type of hard grind.  My admiration for her grew as the long miles relentlessly dragged on. 

Yesterday it was me that'd been the leader in the walking, though mainly along flat stretches.  But when push came to shove in the mountainous terrain, it was Tina who decisively took the lead.

After about eight hours of hiking, climbing thousands of steps, I  couldn't take it any longer.  My walking pace was down to a snail's crawl. I'd climb ten or fifteen steps slowly, then have a rest, then with great effort climb another few steps, then have another rest.  So on and so forth.  My leg muscles weren't really aching - it was my whole body that was the problem, particularly a deep, nagging pain between my shoulder blades.  The young Chinese companions we'd collected yesterday were largely the same as me, walking wearily and in quite obvious discomfort.

Finally we encountered yet another temple high up on the trail.  I told Tina that I had to stop.  We'd been scheduled to walk  for another couple of hours, but I was physically incapable of this. I couldn't remember when I'd been this exhausted before. We decided to enquire about accommodation at the temple we'd encountered.

As it turned out, yes, a room was available. It wasn't cheap however, at 320 yuan.  Tina explained that they could basically charge what they wanted as there was no where else to go for weary hikers such as us.  They could've charged 1000 yuan and probably got away with it, as when one's physically exhausted, one simply has no choice.  I had a feeling though that if the monks hadn't seen a Westerner amongst the group, the room price would've been lower. In these situations, many Chinese automatically add a considerable surcharge to anything enquired about or purchased, as the assumption is that all Westerners are rich.

Yet the accommodation there was very spartan.  The toilets in particular were shocking.  The "men's room" housed nothing but a series of rectangular holes cut in the timber floor, where one was supposedly to squat and do one's business.  At least the squat toilets in the mainstream hotels were made of ceramic and looked the part.

The trouble however, was that at the end of the gruelling day's walk, it was impossible for me to squat.  My knees were aching and stiff - I simply couldn't do it.  I had to stand more or less upright, bend a little then aim as best I could for the hole in the wooden floor beneath me.  Let me admit that my aim wasn't too good unfortunately and soon I ended up having multiple pieces of excrement merrily rolling around my feet on the  floor.  But I was too tired to care.  And the fumes in the room were excruciating, I could barely breathe and my eyes were watering from the corrosive acid formed from the decomposing faeces and urine pooling below.  I staggered out of the toilet feeling close to collapse. A sorry sight indeed, compared to the robust and confident individual I'd been just hours before.

On a brighter note, this place was interesting in that it was inhabited by a group of cheeky apes that'd learnt to jump onto people's backpacks, quickly unzip them and then pilfer any food within them, all in the space of a few seconds. It was hilarious to watch some of the cries and squeals from the young, innocent backpackers as they suddenly were leapt on and harrassed by the marauding monkeys.  

That night I didn't sleep well, despite my aching body. I was concerned about the forthcoming day, that was to be another gruelling climb, wondering if I was physically up to the challenge. Plus the mattress was rock hard, I may as well have been sleeping on a slate billiard table.

"Hey, this is supposed to be a HOLIDAY!" I wryly thought to myself in between the thousand or so restless tosses and turns I made during the night. 

Tina however slept like a log in an adjoining bed.  She'd lead the walk for most of the day, carrying a load as heavy as mine.  Yet her body weight was much less and her legs were also way skinnier, as you can see from the photos.

"How can she do it?", I wondered to myself.  My admiration for her physical stamina was enormous.  I'd never been with such a strong and fit lady as this before. Yet her muscles didn't in any way detract from her beautiful, slim physique. Chinese women as a rule have figures so much more shapely than their Western counterparts. And their attitudes toward men are often more appealing as well, without the offputting arrogance of many Western ladies. Despite my drained, depleted and aching body, I silently gave thanks go to CLM for enabling Tina and I to meet eachother.  Chinese online dating never felt so good.



重申一下我已经提到过的事实,一开始,在去年十月时我们相遇于chinalovematch.net这个网站。那些虚弱的,茫然沮丧的西方人,被象水蛭吸血一样 以人们的孤独痛苦为食的各类骗子网站弄得疲惫不堪,而这个网站对于他们来说确实是一个天赐的礼物。










无论怎样,我最后都会在淋浴时撒尿-- 这是我对蹲厕的藐视!

TINA和我很快就收好了我们的背包,把它们抛在背上,然后开始我们谈论了好久的旅程,自信满满,对即将开始的一天雀跃欢呼。在旅馆附近我们看见了多么美丽的湖泊-- 它和瑞士阿尔卑斯山区某些湖泊是多么的类似啊,四周的树木倒映在光滑如镜般的湖面上。













昨天,我是领头者,大多数都是些平坦的路径。但是当走进大山地形时,是TINA,果断的走在了最前头。大约8个小时之后,爬了大约几千级的台阶,我再也走不动了。我爬山的速度就如一条蛇在慢慢的挪动。我慢慢的爬了10到位15 个台阶,然后停下来休息。接着,又费了好大的力气才又爬了几个台阶,接着以得歇一歇。就这样的走走停停。我大腿的肌肉不是很痛——是我整个身体都有毛病,特别是我两个肩膀之间,纠缠不清的痛疼。我们昨天找到的那些年轻的同伴们情况跟我差不多,走得非常的辛苦也很不舒服。










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#2014-06-04 14:35:00 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Barry, I am starting to worry that you'll never have enough energy to consummate this relationship, if and when the opportunity might arise. Better get off that damned mountain before the you find yourself in a position where fatigue leads to disappointment. I'm just saying...

#2014-06-04 15:13:02 by aussieghump @aussieghump

As much as we love your story...get off the damn internet and start talking to your lady friend!!!!

Sheesh!!! I'm just saying that you need as much quality time to either fascinate, infatuate or forget this lady......before 'George' arrives! You can spend more than a day away from the computer, can't you?

By the look of the activities she does and the general fitness, she won't be too impressed with a guy disappearing a few hours a day to chat with 'friends' on the internet! You have a life...get busy man!

#2014-06-04 16:16:08 by Barry1 @Barry1


Another witty comment, thanks John.

Your good advice won't go unheeded! ;)

#2014-06-04 17:00:54 by dancingshoes @dancingshoes

Obviously it was not a wise idea to challenge your physical energy at Emei Mt while you just landed at Chengdu in a few hours after a long exhausting flight, with your wounded toe. I will learn from this lesson, thank you Barry.

I am curious about that, did you only bring one shirt with you, Barry? I just noticed that you had the same shirt in the pictures in these days? and it was impossible to do the laundry in that hotel as you described.

#2014-06-04 21:13:14 by anonymous10207 @anonymous10207

@JohnAbbot - Agreed! It appears as if Tina is testing Barry's endurance. I wonder if he can last the rest of the trip...poor guy.

#2014-06-05 02:19:37 by zhangxiujin @zhangxiujin

:D ]:) (rofl) John is funny and talking the point!!!

#2014-06-05 11:05:45 by sunrise68 @sunrise68

Thank for your daily journal. Your writing is so real, so interesting, I like it.

#2014-06-05 11:36:56 by Grace172 @Grace172

Barry, I agree with John.
And I really worry about your knee-joint and your vertebrae will hurt after such a long mountain climbing with your heavy backpack. frist, please noitce that Tina is only 44, she is still quite young, but you are going to be 60, I do not meant that you are old. Compare with her age, when we get 10 year older, our body goes down quickly. Especially, you do not get used to it. You drive car most of time. But she walks and climb the moutain often.
My boyfriend knew the secret why I can keep good shape when he came to see me. I walk up the staires every day, and sometime carry the heavy things. And I climb the mountain once or twice a month. He was a long-distance runner when he was young, but when we climbed the mountain together, I beat him. Consider his age, I do not let him do it anymore.
So when your knee hurt, you'd better stop climbing the mountain. You should know how to take care of yourself.
Please remember the purpose of your trip to China--tell her your feeling to her face to face. Hope to hear your good new soon. (f)

#2014-06-05 11:45:27 by johnb888 @johnb888

I have been a silent lurker for several months, both on CLM and the blogs.
Today, I feel the need to brake this silence:

I really enjoy reading about your endeavour.
Barry, you write beautifully. Your style is engaging and I am curious to see how it will develop. Also, you are a likeable character and I truly wish the best for you.

I have to agree with John's comment above. This is a time of courtship.
You want to look at your best: strong, chivalrous and such.
This may not happen if you stay much longer in a hostile environment that does not allow you to show your best assets and qualities. Oh, Tina will certainly enjoy your uplifted spirit and resilience in times of adversity (i.e. muscle pain) but showing your best sides could prove easier in a different context. China is enough of a culture shock (food, language and event toilets :)) that you do not need the additional physical burden. Keep showing strength despite the hurdles and shrewdly try to steer her away from that mountain if you can't cope with it.

I noticed that you employed the past tense in your description of Tina in the second paragraph. I just hope this does not indicate distance (subconsciously or not) and I urge you to put your "conqueror's helmet" on and forget about this second guy.

#2014-06-05 17:46:33 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@john abbot and @Barry1
John, you have got to be joking. Barry's blogs make 'War and Peace' look like a pamphlet and you reckon he's got time to consummate?

Picture the scene....

After an hour of passion, Barry finally rolls off, takes 2 cigarettes out of the packet and lights them
Passing one to Tina in true 'Humphrey Bogart' style and then says

"Pass my laptop babe, I gotta write me blog about this'

For God's sake, they would be like an old married couple after their first night of passion (rofl)

(Showing 1 to 10 of 23) 1 2 3 More...
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