Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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My China Trip - Day 22, Part 1 我的中国之行,第22天,第1部分    

By Barry Pittman
9448 Views | 32 Comments | 1/11/2015 4:16:01 PM
(Showing 21 to 30 of 32) Previous 1 2 3 4 More...
#2015-03-02 16:52:43 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@melcyan - we've been trying to think of ways to get readers back to the older blogs for a long time, or I should say ways that aren't a lot of additional work and that won't add even more busyness to a website that is already too crowded and busy. I like the idea of a best of the blogs listing and we're going to think on it, but I'm not sure where to post it that it will be noticed, without adding to what is already becoming a dog's breakfast.

We're actually working right now on trying to clean up the site and it's many pages, which involves removing stuff, not adding stuff. It is an ongoing conundrum of sorts.

@Barry1 - personally I think all of your remarks, suggestions and questions about Neil and other bloggers should have remained private by way of an email or a follow up QQ chat with me. If I was Neil I'd be less than happy to find bloggers speculating out loud about my likely demise. The bottom line is, that while I often wonder how a blogger is when I haven't heard from him or her, I don't think it is my business to follow up with him/her about why they stopped, or where they are or what they are doing.

If they wanted us to know why they suddenly stopped blogging they would have written about it in their blogs and said a nice goodbye. If they choose instead to simply quietly fade into the darkness that is their choice, and it is not my right (or their reader's right in my opinion) to track them down to query about their well being. If they are not well, we maybe the last people they want to know that. Discussing it in public may be the last thing they would wish to see happen. If they wanted to be followed around by us they would have left an obvious means of doing so.

Every blogger has made a contribution for which we are very grateful. We wish they would all keep blogging and never go away, but we can't force them nor guilt them into doing so. Only a Mom has the right to do that, and we are not their Mom.

That's my take on it. I am sure many will disagree.

#2015-03-02 17:27:05 by Barry1 @Barry1


Thanks for your comments, John.

I personally have some more ideas about this whole subject, that may be summarised as follows.

May I respectfully suggest that should a long term blogger decide to cease blogging, that you request he or she please formally advise CLM of this? This is what Panda has recently done, for example. She openly told us to expect no further articles from her.


My idea is that if a certain time period passes without a fresh article or comment appearing from a missing LONG TERM blogger, CLM then does its best to contact them, to ensure everything is okay. Providing they have previously GIVEN PERMISSION for this to occur.

To this end, CLM could request from every long term blogger who agrees to this, a private number of a friend or relative who could be contacted, just in case the worst has happened. The blogger of course would give permission for this to occur.

The time period involved could be say, two, three or four months. Whatever the blogger agrees with.

I know this would take time and effort on CLM's part. It would take away slightly from its potential profitability, as time is money, after all.

I'm happy to do this myself, John. If I see a long term blogger suddenly disappear from the site for two or three months, I'd be happy to politely and discreetly follow up on what's happened. Providing (as discussed above) that the blogger has previously GIVEN PERMISSION for this to occur.

In this way, Gareth's sad passing would give us all yet another valuable lesson on the meaning, importance and yes - the fragility - of life. I'm sure he would have been pleased with this.

#2015-03-03 00:38:43 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

John and Barry
Girls, girls, girls. What's this becoming, handbags at dawn or what??
Both of you have an equally good point to make in my opinion.
John you are correct, if a blogger decides to stop blogging then it's his business and no one elses. However, given what recently happened to Gareth i think if Barry is guilty of anything then perhaps it's caring too much.
Sadly, Gareth was alone when he passed and this appears to have been omitted from the tributes. His wife had gone to her hometown with the daughter for Spring Festival and Gareth had stayed home alone. After his wife tried to contact him she eventually called the police who broke into his house and found him alone in bed. Paramedics were called but of course, it was too late.
Both Barry and I also live alone.
I think we should somehow consider the fact that if I hadn't made that call to him how long would it have been before we knew of his sad demise. ...would we EVER have known? If not then Gareths family may never have had chance to read the wonderful tributes written by CLM members.
So I'm not taking a stance here, merely sitting on the proverbial fence, but i think
it would be sad if either Barry or I passed and no one at CLM knew about it and I am certain that that is the point Barry was making
There's no right and wrong here. You both have valid points to make so please put your handbags away and agree to disagree on this one

#2015-03-03 18:00:17 by Map1 @Map1

I have my share of toilet stories. I've also learned a lot about fixing my own while living in the PRC. It's a hard tightrope to walk as to what to say to our Chinese friends, girlfriend, students, and colleagues regarding some of the problems we encounter in the country. they also get frustrated at times. I've found that when many foreigners, especially ex-pats get together they seem to make a sport of complaining about China, Chinese people, culture, food, Chinglish etc. I don't like hanging out with ex-pats who make a habit of doing this and live in their own foreigner ghetto. But I must confess that I've also been guilty of this.

#2015-03-04 17:44:39 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@Map1 - your points are right on, but don't be hard on yourself. We are all guilty of this. And I guarantee it because I have witnessed it, when the Chinese people living Canada or America get together in their little Chinese communities, they are just as guilty of it as we are. This is just human nature and while we should try to avoid doing it, most of us can't.

#2015-03-04 17:51:06 by Barry1 @Barry1


"I have my share of toilet stories."

Thanks for your comments, Map1.

When I'm in China - I've been there three times now - I hardly ever speak to expats. Westerners. Maybe for five or ten minutes here or there, is all. I think it's because my Chinese friends never associate with them. This isn't a bad thing though. I reckon if you're in China, then try to hang around with Chinese!

It's also very interesting to hear that you have some good toilet stories to share. I bet John Abbot has some as well. I think BOTH of you then may find the next instalment in My China Trip series - Day 22, Part 2 - a must read. Because when she read it, even our dear Chinese translator here declined to translate it, thinking it wasn't in the best of taste! (rofl):D(rofl)

#2015-03-04 18:47:46 by Grace172 @Grace172

@Barry1 and @paulfox1
From what you said, I think you two would better marry as soon as possible to end up living alone. And also never let your wives live apart. (giggle)

#2015-03-05 19:32:29 by Barry1 @Barry1


Hey, I like that new photo of you and your husband, Grace. A lovely couple. (y)

#2015-03-06 21:45:59 by Grace172 @Grace172

Thank you, Barry. When will I see the photo of you and your new wife? And when will your next episode come?

#2015-03-07 22:24:51 by Barry1 @Barry1


"When will I see the photo of you and your new wife? And when will your next episode come?"

Let me say that your photos these days look lovelier and lovelier, Grace.

Your new husband is a lucky man indeed.

As for me, who knows what might happen between Tina and I? This is a good question that even now, I wonder about.

As for your query about when will the next episode appear, let me say it should be coming soon.

Best wishes to you, Grace. (f)(y)

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