Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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My China Trip - Day 20, Part 3 我的中国之行—第20天第3部分    

By Barry Pittman
18282 Views | 91 Comments | 8/16/2014 2:00:14 PM

Sometimes I can hardly believe that I'm an older, supposedly “mature” man.  I feel closer to a naughty fifteen year old half the time.  If laughing loudly at one's indiscretions (showering a lady with a tub of exploding yoghurt or releasing extraordinarily loud farts in public toilets whilst trying to crouch, for example) helps keep one young, then I choose to remain like this.  If anyone happens to be offended by what I write though, please complain to the owner of this website  -  Mr John Abbot -  not me!

有时候我几乎不能相信我已经老了,被期望成为一个“成熟”的男人。有一半的时间我觉得自己更象是一个调皮的15岁的男孩。如果嘲笑某人冒失的行为(例如,给一个女士来一管喷开的酸奶的淋浴或是在公用厕所蹲下的时候,放一连串非常大声的响屁)让你保持年轻的话,我会选择保持年轻。如果恰巧我写的文字冒犯了某些人的话,请跟这个网站的老板—John Abbot先生而不是我抱怨

In any case, back to the story at hand.  I was half way through the journey from Jiuzhaigou to Chengdu.  The coach I was traveling in had pulled into a rest stop.  As I was standing outside the toilet block chuckling aloud at what Chinese men must think of the poor toilet etiquette of Western men, a motorcycle loaded with four young people cruised by.  Yes, you read it right - there were four people on one motorcycle. “Hello!” one of them cried out to me. Being given this greeting was common place here.  Many Chinese know only one word of English and it happens to be this one.  So a lot of folk happily say “hello” to me at every opportunity.  In return, I say “No hao” to them and sometimes we share a laugh.  They know one word of English.  I know one word of Chinese.  Sounds fair to me.


Jumping back on the bus after our break, I felt relieved in both a physical as well as a psychological sense.  I was slowly mastering the art of adopting a yoga position when using the toilets here.  The only real danger that had occurred recently was when crouching in the squat position, I suddenly felt faint and started to fall backwards. I had to quickly put down my hand to stop the fall, the problem being that my hand landed on the dirty area around the bowl.  Ugh!   I felt compelled to scrub my hand carefully after this. Why on Earth the normally very clever Chinese continue to use toilets from out of the Dark Ages mystifies me. Every time I used one of these squat type affairs, I was worried that should I fall backwards and need to quickly steady myself, maybe my hand could possibly be inadvertently plunged straight down the toilet plug hole. This then would lead to either a broken wrist or my arm becoming stuck in the hole, necessitating the local fire brigade to be called to rescue me.  The thought of either nightmarish alternative occurring meant I tended to use toilets in China as little as possible.

短暂休息之后,我们又坐回巴士车上。无论是生理还是心理方面,我都觉得很放松。在这里上厕所的时候,我已经慢慢学会了瑜伽艺术。近段时间以来唯一一次发生的真正的危险是,在蹲厕蹲下来时,我突然觉得很头晕,而且向后倒。我不得不马上用我的手来支撑以阻止我摔跤。问题是我的手不得不撑在那个蹲坑四周很脏的地面上。恶心极了。在这之后,我象得了强迫症似的不停的小心的擦洗我的手。天啊,为什么聪明的中国人从愚昧时代以后就一直继续使用蹲厕呢,让我觉得好生奇怪。每次我用蹲厕的时候,我都会担心我会往后摔倒,得马上把自己稳定起来。或许我的手有可能会径直撑起那个蹲坑里。这可可能弄断我的手腕或是我的手臂会被卡在那个坑里,必需得打电话给消防员来拯救我。 这些可怕的可能发生的事件的想法,意味着我会倾向于尽可能少的在中国使用厕所。

The highway to Chengdu passed through many long dark tunnels of up to a kilometer in length, cut through the base of various mountains.  Often most of the lights within them weren’t working so vehicles had to turn on their headlights.  As our bus entered one of these, in the distance I could hear a loud blasting horn that quickly became deafening.  The reason for this was there were two buses heading towards us  -  one overtaking the other  -  both with their horns blasting.  The problem was that of course there wasn’t enough room for three buses adjacent to each other on the road, so our driver had to jam on his brakes hard in order to avoid  a nasty head on collision between buses in the deep bowels of the tunnel. Now the sudden danger was the very real possibility of our vehicle being rammed from the rear!  My worst fears about the perils inherent in this journey were being alarmingly realized right in front of my eyes. 

去成都的高速公路经过很多又长又黑的遂道,长度长达1公里,经过各种山的底部。情况经常是这样的,隧道里的灯总是坏的,经过的车不得不用前大灯。当我们的巴士开进某一段遂道时,很远我就听到喇叭声,很快地变得越来越震耳欲聋。原因就是有两辆巴士朝我们开来,一辆正在试图超越另外一辆, 两辆车都在狂按喇叭。当然问题在于,遂道里根本没有足够的空间,所以,三辆大巴就一辆紧挨着另一辆排在路上。所以,我们的司机不得不大力的踩刹车,以避免在遂道深处,和大巴们撞上。现在突然的危险是,我们的车很可能会被后面的车追尾。我对于这场旅程所固有的风险的最坏的担心就在我的眼上活生生的上演

 As the coach exited the tunnel, Psalm 23 involuntarily entered my head.


The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 上帝是我的领导者,我不应该想要

He makes me lie down in green pastures.  他让我躺在碧绿的牧草上

He leads me beside still waters                  他在静静的河水旁指引着我

He restores my soul.                                   他重建了我的灵魂

He leads me in paths of righteousness       他引导着我走在正义的道路上

for his name’s sake                                    以他的名义

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,   虽然我走过了死亡阴影的山谷

I will fear no evil,                                                                          我不惧怕邪恶

for you are with me;                                                                     因为你和我在一起

your rod and your staff                                                                你的拐杖,你的人们

they comfort me.                                                                         他们安抚着我

Rather than walking through the valley of the shadow of death, on this trip we were driving through it.  If I was to die on this trip, at least I hoped I’d be one with God when this happened.  My life had been a checkered one up to this time.  I considered myself a largely decent person, despite being a selfish bastard on some occasions. I hadn’t deliberately been overly unkind or cruel to anyone in living memory but yet felt my life so far had not really achieved much.  I was a paragon of insignificance, a vaguely troubling thought.  Was this all there was to life?   It was a strangely comforting thought to know though that if a fatal accident was in fact to occur, at least dear Tina and I sitting as we both were in the very front seat, would go together.  I intuitively sensed that after such a long time searching for a partner, I didn’t relish the thought of living without her. Maybe this was love after all?  Are feelings sensed organically within one’s soul more fundamentally powerful than those mutterings spoken verbally?  Reflecting upon all of this after the near death experience between buses in the tunnel, Neil Young’s “Heart of Gold” song suddenly came into mind.

在这场旅程中,我们不是走过死亡阴影之谷,而是驶过。如果我会在这场旅程中死去的话,最起码我希望当这一切发生的时候我和上帝在一起。到此时为止,我的生活充满了变数。我自认为我自己很大程度上是一个体面的人,尽管有时在某些方面会是个自私的坏蛋。在我的记忆中,我并没有刻意地对任何人掩饰我的不善良和粗鲁,但是,仍然感觉到目前为止我的生命没有很多的成就,一个没有意义的模范,一个不清晰的麻烦思想。对于生活来说这就是所有吗?一种很奇怪的却又让人舒服的想法是,就算一个非常可怕的致命的事故真的发生的话,最起码TINA和我可以坐在最前面的椅子上,可以在一起。我直觉觉得经过这么长一段时间寻找伴侣,我并没有想过没有和她在一起的日子。也许最后这就是爱吗?在心灵里感受到的感觉比用语言说出来的有更强大的力量吗?想着所有发生的这一切,在遂道中巴士之间如此近距离的接近死亡的经历之后,我的心中突然不经意的响起Neil Young的歌曲“金子般的心”

I want to live,   我想要活着

I want to give   我想要付出

I've been a miner for a heart of gold.我是金子般的心的矿工

It's these expressions 这些表情

I never give   我从未给出

That keep me searching for a heart of gold. 他们让我人停寻找金子般的心

And I'm getting old. 我正在老去

Keep me searching for a heart of gold 让我继续寻找金子般的心

And I'm getting old.我正在老去

I've been to Hollywood我去过好莱坞

I've been to Redwood我去过红树林

I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold.我渡过了金子般的心的海洋

I've been in my mind,我在我的心里

It's such a fine line这是多么美好的诗句

That kee expressions ps me searching for a heart of gold.让我继续寻找金子般的心

And I'm getting old.我正在老去

Keeps me searching for a heart of gold让我继续寻找金子般的心

And I'm getting old.我正在老去

Keep me searching for a heart of gold. 让我继续寻找金子般的心

You keep me searching and I'm growing old.你让我继续寻找,我正在老去

Keep me searching for a heart of gold让我继续寻找金子般的心

I've been a miner for a heart of gold. 我是金子般的心的矿工

I had indeed crossed the ocean for a heart of gold.  And yes, I was indeed getting old.  All things must pass.  So it’s crucial to make the most of what we have right now.  Seize every opportunity.  Yet never do anyone harm. The laws of karma were too powerful to fight.


My introspective reverie was broken when I noticed a car overtaking our bus over double white lines with a police vehicle right behind it.  Then the police car overtook the car over double lines and sped off into the distance.  This reminded me of how several times, I’d seen police cars completely ignoring pedestrians attempting to walk across zebra crossings on the road, weaving between them as if they were no more than a damned nuisance.  If the bad driving so prevalent in China wasn’t so serious, it’d almost be a joke.


During the course of this online Chinese dating process, before meeting Tina, I’d spoken to several ladies who had lost a family member through car accidents.  So whilst my words in these articles may occasionally trivialize or mock the poor driving here, in actuality it’s a very grave issue.  The authorities really need to stamp down hard on drivers who flout the road rules.  The fact that they continually seem to turn a blind eye to glaring traffic offences means thousands of decent Chinese will continue to either be killed or injured unnecessarily every year on the roads.  I assume the reason a crackdown doesn’t occur is because China is still a developing country and so many other pressing issues exist for the government, such as food supply, pollution and housing problems.


By about 3.00pm, after seven hours of travelling, my back side started to get a bit sore.  I was happy an hour or so later that we finally entered the outer suburbs of Chengdu.  After a further twenty minutes, the bus pulled into the main Chengdu transit centre.  Passengers began to arise from their seats when a man standing in the aisle near us let out a large fart.  Tina started giggling.  She fortunately wasn’t aware that this man’s fart paled in comparison to the enormous one’s I’d happily released back in the public toilet a few hours previously.  Once again, please direct any complaints about what I write here to the owner of the website, not me.  This is a warts ‘n all account of my China trip and like it or not, this includes bodily functions.  Apologies to any delicate Chinese ladies who may be reading this.


Retrieving our back packs from the coach, Tina and I found a small café nearby to have a snack.  We still had a two hour bus trip to undergo, from Chengdu to her home town of Shawan.  Both of us were in good spirits, having survived the long journey from Jiuzhaigou. For a few moments though, it looked like we wouldn’t but somehow we came through unscathed.  A few more grey hairs maybe, but basically intact.  We soon found our way to the nearby bus office and purchased tickets to Shawan.  Within half an hour, our bus duly arrived and we jumped aboard.  This bus was a smaller one than the large coach we’d travelled in earlier in the day.  The seats were harder; the engine was noisier; and the shock absorbers weren’t so effective as we felt every bump on the road.  Nevertheless, we were on our way home and that was all that mattered.


I noticed some sections of the highways here had a 120 kilometre per hour speed limit, faster than most of the highways in Australia.  The roads themselves were shared by an eclectic and often bizarre mix of vehicles, not normally seen in Western countries.  Tina told me that she feared driving on the roads here by herself and would be quite happy to continue catching public transport for the rest of her days.  She didn’t have a driving licence and wasn’t keen on getting one.  I didn’t tell her at the time, but these words were a little worrying to me, as I knew that if ever she moved to a Western country, obtaining a licence and driving on the roads would be essential.  I sensed storm clouds on the horizon in this area.  But then again, in the West driving on the roads was much more heavily policed and therefore much safer.  Speeding urban cowboys and dangerous revheads were slowly weeded out over time.  I should know, I used to be one of them riding my high powered motorcycle and lost my licence twice because of my exuberant antics on it.


Half an hour after leaving Chengdu, our bus driver very enthusiastically cleared his throat and ejected an enormous blob of phlegm out the window in as raucous and uncouth a fashion as possible.  Witnessing this, I burst out laughing, loud enough that the driver turned around to see what was so funny.  Tina whispered to me to please be quiet and not giggle at the driver.


“Maybe he has something in his throat, Barry”, she said.


“Yes, but he doesn’t have to clear it so that the entire bus has to hear it and then knock down a signpost when he spits it out because it’s so big!” I chuckled.  In many ways, normal Chinese folk innocently going about their day to day activities provided an endless source of amusement to me.  Just as I did to them, when I wrote with my left hand or attempted to speak faltering Mandarin to them. 


At one stage on the journey, the driver had to stop the bus due to an oncoming truck overtaking another truck over double lines, right in front of us. Why was I not surprised?  A similar near miss had occurred earlier in the day on the Jiuzhaigou coach.  Our driver seemed unconcerned, almost as if this was a regular occurrence, nothing to worry about.  He didn’t even bother blasting his horn.  A bead of perspiration broke out on my forehead. My heart rate was elevated. There was every chance I’d be leaving China in a pine box with a name tag on my toe at this rate.


After several other near misses, around 7.30pm Tina and I finally arrived back in Shawan.  Thank heaven. The antelope had managed to cross the river safely, despite all the skulking crocodiles. Tina’s daughter Wendy was very glad to see us.  She’d been staying with her grandparents during our trip. She liked them, but she liked us better.


“Barry, have you some photos you can show me of Jiuzhaigou?” she asked excitedly.


“Sure, Wendy – take a look at these”.

“当然啦,WENDY, 看看这些。”

I then downloaded a heap of photos from the smart phone onto the computer.  Wendy was very interested in what we’d seen.  She was an A grade student and spent most of her free time studying, so rarely went on adventures like this. Much of her life was spent living vicariously through the exploits of others.  If I had ever been blessed with a daughter, I’d have wished she’d have been just like Wendy.  She was smart, attractive, polite, multilingual and studious.  What more could one ask for?


To celebrate the success of our wonderful Jiuzhaigou journey and our happiness at being home, that evening Tina and I made passionate love together, sealing the ever strengthening bond between us.


“Barry, I think I love you”, Tina whispered gently in my ear. 


Chinese online dating never felt so good.


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2014-08-31 15:06:34 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Barry, I don't know what to be happier about:

1. The chance to read another exciting chapter in the never-ending saga of your experiences with squat toilets. Sometimes I think you write this stuff just for my mirthful enjoyment.

2. The chance you've now presented to me (as the person responsible to handle all complaints about these toilet/farting/insulting-Chinese-women related incidents you describe so well) to commiserate for no doubt endless hours with the countless other people who wrongly suspect that you are writing this stuff just for them.

3. The fact you have finally officially announced that you and Tina are partaking of coitus (as Sheldon would say), and that love is in the air.

Actually I'm happiest about #3. Congratulations to the both of you. Cheers, Mate! (handshake)(party)(muscle)(beer)

#2014-08-31 17:15:25 by lydiawen @lydiawen





:)在网上可以搜索到的,不同版本的《圣经》,还有中英文对照的圣经(heidy)(heidy)(heidy) 上帝的话语有其严肃性和权威性,不可更改,不可随便。有很多《圣经》学者研究《圣经》翻译的准确性。旧约圣经用的希伯来文,新约圣经用的是希腊文,后来才有了英文译本,中文译本则由英译本翻译过来。

#2014-08-31 17:27:17 by lydiawen @lydiawen

Barry先生在文中所提及的很可能是English Standard Version,即英语标准版
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (‭Psalm‬ ‭23‬:‭1-6‬ NIV)

#2014-08-31 19:37:48 by lydiawen @lydiawen

(h)Neil Young的歌曲“金子般的心
I want to live
I want to give
I've been a miner for a heart of gold
It's these expressions I never give
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

I've been to hollywood
I've been to redwood
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind, it's such a fine line
keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
that Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

I want to live
I want to give
I've been a miner for a heart of gold
It's these expressions I never give
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

#2014-08-31 19:40:54 by lydiawen @lydiawen

Neil Young的经典作品数不胜数,只要用心听,总会在突然之间就被其打动。作为摇滚史上最为全能的音乐家之一,Neil Young的风格众多,但极少变化的就是他的不拘外表,还有他简单的吉他声、口琴声和沧桑的歌声,直击心灵的深邃歌词更让他成为享誉英语国家的著名诗人,通过鲍勃•迪伦和尼尔•杨等人的努力,摇滚乐的歌词逐渐变得有血有肉有灵魂。以下这首仍是Neil Young的旧作,Heart of Gold(金子般的心)

金子般的心(heart of gold)
Written & Sang by Neil Young


摘自:切梦刀 豆瓣切梦刀的日记

#2014-08-31 21:57:32 by bigcrystal @bigcrystal

Congratulations!I think you win the beautiful lady's heart,from those days to get along with,this is good result for you twos.
I like read your blogs,and I read every blogs of your china trip,many parts very funny,I can from it know the west man's thinking,I meet a west man online too,we contact almost nine months,and he plans visit me for next 6 months,I want to learn experience of get along with a west man in real,so very thankful you willing share in blogs with us.

#2014-08-31 22:01:33 by heziling7727 @heziling7727


#2014-08-31 22:38:49 by prana @prana

Hi! Barry.
Glad to hear your good message

#2014-09-01 00:07:41 by anonymous11623 @anonymous11623

"Barry, I think I love you" whilst making passionate love....

'Nuff said brother!!! when I read these words you wrote I actually teared up mate.

You and Tina are so fortunate to have met each other.........

Waiting for next episode mate.

#2014-09-01 02:37:47 by anonymous11626 @anonymous11626

"that evening Tina and I made passionate love together"

First comes love, then comes MARRIAGE...

Have you set a date for the wedding yet? (giggle)

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