Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Self-proclaimed “American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God”, a retired USA State Police Lieutenant with broad experience in SE Asia and China, David will focus on Online Obsessions and Real Relationships: Navigating Chinese/Western Cross Cultural Relationships. He'll share his and others experiences in internet dating, social networking and real life dating in China. Typically American, he will bring you the upside and downside of East/West relationships openly and directly. He hopes both genders can gain some useful knowledge from his blog as well as a few laughs.
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Motivations and Coming to China    

By David Lee
2830 Views | 2 Comments | 5/16/2010 1:03:09 PM

Determining people’s motivations for doing anything is difficult whether online dating or in real life. We can only make assumptions about others motivations for doing anything based on circumstantial or real evidence from their words or actions. The real danger arises when our conclusions are derived from faulty information or even lies.

Many of my motivations for using an online dating service were explained in my Blog’s Introduction. I wanted to expand my opportunities to meet Asian girls ultimately for love and marriage. Initially my search in 2004 included girls of Asian ethnicity in the USA as well as actually residing across Asia. Later in 2005, when the final decision was made to go to China to live and work, the search focused only on mainland Chinese women.

Since no decision had been made on what job or in what city, I was all over the Chinese map like a shotgun. However, this was a good thing. Every time I met a new Chinese girl, I would pull-out my big China map and locate her location and/or hometown. This enabled me to know more China geography than the average mainland Chinese as later was learned living here. More importantly, valuable insight was gained into their cultural and day-to-day thought processes from asking questions, discussing world issues, etc.

Many Chinese girls’ sad online dating and real relationship stories were entrusted to me even five years ago. Numerous girls were befriended who treated me as an “Elder Brother” seeking advice on some American or other Western man of interest when they smelled a rat, but weren’t quite sure about their suspicions. I was comfortable with having many “Little Sisters” online since I learned at a relatively early age single men should have “Friend girls” as well as “Girlfriends” if they are wise.

At the same time, I needed or wanted to find a good job in China. Like the vast majority of foreigners coming to China to live for the first time, ESL (English Second Language) teaching seemed to be the best way to make money and have the security of a legal one year Z-Work/Residency Visa. Thousands of hours were spent researching the multitudes of ESL websites for jobs, reading the good and bad stories of teacher’s experiences with various Chinese universities or English schools/companies across China.

Even though I had a B.S. degree and excellent professional experience, I lacked a TESOL (Teaching English as Second Other Language) Certificate. My full-time job was a licensed Florida Yacht Broker with irregular work hours with no time to attend regular onsite classes at a school.

Like many people in my situation, I made the decision to get an online TESOL and enrolled in a course offered by an American in Indonesia. He later proved to be a con-artist extraordinaire who I dumped and then enrolled in an excellent course through the reputable company American TESOL Institute headquartered in Tampa, FL. After diligently working to finish two TESOL’s by mid-November 2006, I was making plans to accept employment and come to China.

I met Tanya in 2004 through an internet dating website. There was an immediate attraction and later relationship commitments made, but my planned move to China was delayed over a year by serious health problems involving multiple out-patient procedures, endless doctor’s office visits, five major surgeries and two additional surgery related hospital admissions that were finally resolved in late February 2007. If not for a world class surgeon at the internationally renowned Cleveland Clinic in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, I would still be miserable in the USA dreaming of finding a Chinese woman for marriage.

Tanya lived in Guangzhou so, based on our internet dating relationship, I accepted an offer from an international school in Guangzhou to be a DOS (Director of Studies) at one of their locations. Guangzhou was not my first choice of Chinese cities to work, but this is where Tanya’s work was in the export business and she had patiently waited over two years for me to come to China. I felt it would have been bad on my part to choose another city like Shenzhen when she was so understanding of my personal circumstances delaying my move to China.

By mid-March, not even 100% over my final surgery, I was finally in Guangzhou and met at the airport by Tanya.

More on her later.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
(Showing 1 to 2 of 2) 1
#2010-05-17 01:37:28 by gravics @gravics

I look forward to reading more of your experiences in China.

#2010-05-17 20:11:24 by annabeth @annabeth

me too,have a wonderfel ending with Tanya?

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