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John Abbot is co-owner of ChinaLoveMatch.net. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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Meet OrgasmDonor, an Ex ChinaLoveMatch Member    

By John Abbot
2979 Views | 13 Comments | 9/9/2016 12:25:16 AM

Is OrgasmDonor an appropriate username on a Chinese dating site like ChinaLoveMatch?

We recently received two messages from a new member with the username of ORGASMDONOR. Yes, he wrote that name in CAPS and he got away with that username because the Chinese employee who approved it didn't get what it meant. You be the judge as to whether our reaction was appropriate coming from a Chinese dating site intended for Chinese women and Western men seeking life partners and/or marriage.



ORGASMDONOR's two messages read as follows



"DON'T FUCKING MOCK ME ,,, AIN'T FREAKING FREE!



IN ADDITIONS TO FALSE STATEMENT OF I CAN USE THE SAME USER AND P-WORD ON ALM WAS LIES .. I CAN;'T FUCKING LOG IN WITH IT.



PEOPLE LIKE US WILL NEVER BE TREATED FAIRLY. AMERICA IS DESIGNED TO FAVOR CORPORATE AMERICA ONLY"



And yes, that is the entire content of each message, and they are repeated here identically to the form in which they were opened by a young Chinese female employee.



What follows is our response, written by myself:



"Hi ORGASMDONOR



In response to your 2 messages please be advised of the following:



1. You can log in to ALM. We have tried it and it worked fine.



However, if you are going to write everything, including your password, in SCREAMING CAPITAL LETTERS, then you have to be consistent and do that when you try to log in. Specifically, your password is case sensitive. You used all caps in your password so you must write all caps when logging in.



2. We said it was free to join and see if you like the site and the women. At no time did we say the services were all free.



3. You used the username ORGASMDONOR which is mocking, insulting to our Chinese and Asian women and in incredibly bad taste. You only got away with that because the young Chinese employee who approved your membership did not understand the meaning.



4. We do not understand why you make this statement, "AMERICA IS DESIGNED TO FAVOR CORPORATE AMERICA ONLY" to us, because we are not American. We are owned by a Hong Kong Corporation, which is in turn owned by a Canadian and an Australian/Chinese.



However, we do agree with the sentiment you express, although we think it applies to more first world countries than just America, and to many third world countries as well.



5. We do not understand who you mean by "PEOPLE LIKE US WILL NEVER BE TREATED FAIRLY." Your profile suggests you are a middle aged, white male Caucasian, with English as your first language. You hardly stand out as a downtrodden minority.



However, if you mean by that 'people who write messages in SCREAMING CAPITAL LETTERS THAT USE THE WORD "FUCKING" REPEATEDLY to website service departments that are normally manned by young, often female, employees who have done nothing wrong', then we concur. People like you will never be treated fairly, nor do you deserve fair treatment.



We have turned off your membership now, as you seem to be searching for a very different relationship than our members are looking for. Our site is for people seeking long term relationships and marriage, not for the privilege of serving up multiple orgasms to someone who appears to be rude and offensive at best.



We apologize that your time was wasted and suggest that the perfect site for you might be adultfriendfinder.com. Why not give it a try? Although, it's services are not free either.



Best regards,



Service@ChinaLoveMatch.net"



I am not sure there is a moral to this story, but perhaps it is fair to say that, assuming you are a normal person, when you are in a bad mood, and then become frustrated because things are not going right for you on a website you are trying out (any website), before going ballistic and firing off a foul mouthed, raging letter, take a deep breath, calm down and write to them as if you were going to receive the letter. Think how you would react to the message and then write it in a way that would make you feel regrets the writer was suffering issues on your website, and a strong desire to correct the problem and assure him it's a good site that has his best interests at heart.



Writing a letter that makes the person receiving it think "What an Asshole! We should just cut him loose." is not going to achieve anything meaningful.



But in this case, a person who would use the name ORGASMDONOR has already clearly indicated he is not 'normal' so the above lesson probably is wasted and doesn't apply.



In any event, our assessment was that even if we approved him and went out of our way to accommodate him, soon down the road our Chinese ladies would be receiving demands for cybersex, which would lead to rude obnoxious replies when they declined to provide that service, and that in turn would lead to more work for our employees in which they would have to put up with his obnoxiousness.



We reject many applicants daily because they are obviously scammers, or at least seem likely to be scammers, but we also quite often reject applicants because they are clearly only interested in sex and not interested in a real long term relationship beyond sex. Generally, anyone using a name that is obviously highly sexual is deemed by us to be someone only interested in sex.



But sometimes those types of names get by due to the language barrier. Our Chinese employees have reasonable English, but terms like 'orgasmdonor' can easily slip through. So if you see someone with a name that could be termed offensive, and we think 'orgasmdonor' is a good example of such a term, then please feel free to report it. We will take it up with the member and likely insist on a less obnoxious username.



However, we'd be interested in comments on this, because we don't wish to appear to have joined the Political Correctness Police in any manner. Obviously from the photo above, there is humor attached to the term Orgasm Donor in some corners of the world, and we get the humor as well. But we think that it can be funny as a joke used among friends or partners, not so much as a username on a site dedicated to people seriously seeking a long term relationship with a good Chinese woman or Western man.



 Whether you think we're going overboard or you agree with what we are doing, we'd be interested in your thoughts. Please comment.


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 13) 1 2 More...
#2016-09-09 06:51:02 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@JohnAbbot

I counted twice in your blog that you wrote 'organ donor' instead of 'orgasm donor', an easy freudian slip, especially when in the company of Jim or Jack (lol).

OK, you asked for comments so here's my tuppence-worth.

This guy's parents are quite obviously siblings, so had I been in your position, I would have done the following-

 

1) Delete/Cancel/Turn off his membership

2) Sent him an e-mail thus. 'Dear Orgasmdonor. Thank you for your interest in our website. However, we have cancelled your membership for reasons that should be blindingly obvious. Should you not grasp the reasons as to why we have taken this action, please reply to this e-mail and I will happily tell you in words of one-syllable so as not to overtax your tiny brain.'

 

The e-mail that you sent to him will probably never be read. You wasted an hour of your time replying to him, and no doubt another couple of hours writing this blog.

 

This guy was sitting at home with some of his mates, as baked as a kipper or trying his best to see who can drink the most before being the first to pass out.

They all have tiny brains that are too little to be allowed out without adult supervision. They are all sex-gods in their own right and feel that every woman they choose should fall under their spell and give themselves freely. What better place to find such a woman than on a dating site where they are all so very, very desperate to have sex with any male who is still breathing.

 

There's little doubt in my mind that the following morning he wouldn't even have remembered which dating site he'd joined, had you not e-mailed him.

 

He was probably the first person in his family to be born without a tail. Sadly, they walk among us!

 

 

 

#2016-09-09 11:28:34 by melcyan @melcyan

I strongly suspect that ORGASMDONOR is incapable of meeting the needs of another person. Yes, his name is definitely a joke - a sad joke. John, your actions towards him are definitely supported by me.

#2016-09-09 14:10:17 by RHendry @RHendry

@JohnAbbot I think it was handled perfectly. I call these types of people "internet warriors." They are brave when confronted by the rigors of punching a keyboard but in reality individuals like that are a small-minded small-penis waste of space.

I hope that is not too politically incorrect :) 

#2016-09-10 16:27:49 by bgies @bgies

John, I just want to say you were much too easy on him... maybe your lawyer training, or business accumen.... I'm not sure.

I would have been much harsher on him. It wouldn't take too many people like him talking to some of the woman on this site to convince them to leave. Of course, standard business training will tell you to treat everyone with respect (an angry customer tells 8-15 people, a happy customer 1-3). Unfortunately, he probably doesn't have the intelligence to appreciate your reasoned response.

FYI.. I'm also Canadian and my father was a lawyer who disliked the legal profession for it's hypocrisy and actually liked very few other lawyers because of their duplicity... I get the feeling you have a similar outlook :)

Anyway... my advice: Don't waste time on such an intelligent response. Just tell him politely you've been banned, anything else is wasted on such a low class creature :)

Brad

 

 

 

#2016-09-10 20:32:32 by LWJ @LWJ

@JohnAbbot      You did the right thing cutting him off, yet in all regards to what he was wanting, you should have told him to go to Asiandate.com, there he could have gotten all the screwing he could afford,LOL,LOL


#2016-09-11 14:37:57 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

@ John Abbot

Hi John, let me jump in please.

I sense you did very well in your reply because,...I would have done the same.

I could feel your Irish blood a'boilin'.

My Scottish was Up as well (haha).

This fellow is obviously searching for something not offered publicly on CLM.

This IS China Love Match . net

This is NOT,.. China Labius Majora . Fish-net .

This IS Asian Love Match . net .

This is NOT,.. Anus Lick Musthave . wad. (Ha Ha!!).

Still,... you were able to regain composure and address.

Kudos brother, serious.


Do you realize that you did 3 things at once with your reply ??

1.You stood up for CLM/ALM.

2.You stood up for yourself.

3.You spanked him and sent him down the toilet vortex to his own personal Ass-high-lum  (Asylum).

This was not time wasted my friend.


I wonder if he read the "Terms of Agreement" regarding member behavior before pushing the "Accept" button" ??

His brief but "SHOUTING" communications I feel were TOTALLY unwarranted.

Caps. are meant for names, the beginning of sentences, and occasional emphasis.

Back to this (thankfully now) ex-member,..."People like us" ??

I sense he gave ample understanding there (hehe).

“Corporate America”,...WTF ???


There are a certain number of folks we encounter from time to time who seem to be "Fueled on Friction".

These people are the type who always seem to be very argumentative, in some anger/ fear based method of expression.

If there is no "Friction",...they will try to find a way to generate some just so they can feel valid.

Crazy !!??


Now,...I do have to admit that sometimes here on CLM/ALM, our blogs, forums, and comments get a little bit “Blue”, “Purple”, and downright “Salty” (thank you @Paul Fox!!) but I feel all is in good order.

I think you have set up an “Internet Dating Site” where it's sort of like a “Casual Dress” dinner party with ongoing means of people meeting people from other cultures. We have the general introductions and then we go off private to discuss certain details for possible future plans. Correct ??

Well,...this is the way I sense it and,... I thank you brother.

I also thank you for your Serpentine (you were born in 1953, Chinese Snake year, right ?) fore-saged-ness regarding this “Orgasm Donor”.

You saw down the road that this person might cause future trouble for CLM/ALM.

Good on You !!

Keep up the good work and always remember that many of us here respect you.

I gotta split now.

Will stay in touch.

Gongji.

Y.T.Y


 

 

 

 

#2016-09-19 16:28:59 by anonymous15513 @anonymous15513

Helping chinese women achieve sexual orgasms should be kept inside the closed bedroom doors, not on a public platform like this. This is the White man's job but at least be a little discreet about it haha

#2016-10-04 03:03:19 by randyhowie @randyhowie

I hope the Chines women don't think all Americans are sorry and rude like this nut case

#2016-10-13 00:25:23 by anonymous15610 @anonymous15610

@Randyhowie, I think most Chinese women (but not all) feel this way, that is why they are cautious and continually testing when communicating with men. I do not blame them for this.

We as men also need to be very aware of how they feel, we also need to watch for women who have an ulterior motive for being on a western/chinese dating site.

I also would like to point out to you that it is not just Yanks they feel this way about. 

#2017-01-03 18:09:30 by SCBeets2200 @SCBeets2200

@JohnAbbot - SCBeets2200 jumping in here to say that you did THE RIGHT THING in dumping this guy. To my way of thinking, I'd want to keep everything PG-13 or cleaner for courtesy's sake. This isn't political correctness, it's common sense on a website designed and strictly intended for people who are interested in an actual relationship and not simply looking to screw hookers. I think your response was the best one in this case. And I feel sorry for the young lady who had to deal with that. I wish to extend apologies to her, as well as reassurances that NOT ALL United States men think like that.

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