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我出世在一个美丽的国家,经历了动荡的时代和历史的变迁,终于回到了祖国。当岁月积淀女人的智慧与理性,我终于剥下华丽与虚荣,学会积累生活和人生的体悟,我在这里与大家分享生活的心灵感悟,感悟人生的真谛。I was born in a beautiful country, Vietnam, and lived through the turbulent era and the history of changes, then finally returned to the Mother China. With years of accumulated wisdom and feminine rationality,I finally peeled off the gorgeous and vanity. I am here to share with you inspiration, love, hope and thankfulness and their role in understanding the depth and true meaning of life.
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Marriage is the tomb of love? 婚姻是爱情的坟墓吗?    

By Xin73
13725 Views | 37 Comments | 11/17/2012 2:01:30 PM

Marriage and love is the human society the unique part of human nature.The marriage is the material in the form of the relations between the sexes, love is the spirit in the form of the relations between the sexes.

Love is the end? Marriage? Or marriage is the spread of the beginning of another love?Everyone for love "the next stage" concept is different,Some people say that "marriage is the tomb of love”, Marriage means that the cooling of passion and love disappear, this is actually dilute the responsibilities of marriage, misunderstand the true meaning of marriage. maybe a marriage gives us too much responsibility, or burden, such as family expenses, family things, each other's career, the other side of the relatives and friends, including children's life. owever,Implying for that kind of premarital have done would not exist in responsibility?But also as a person, an emotional person, how can you not learn to bear their own responsibility? Marriage is really so terrible? Responsibility is really that difficult to undertake?

Marriage reason why not a love that bright and romantic color,can only say that both parties don't know how to operate the love, believe that when two people decide to get married before, for sure be each other there feeling,just after marriage love becomes dull. Men and women are put down romantic love, input in real life. This is not love disappear , and to love the ignore.

In the life a lot of people don't know what marriage is,do not know what love really is. Why the original beautiful love,go to the marriage sacred hall,then become extremely so monotony? This existence what problem? Each person's marriage may not such as stagnant water as are calm, there must be many bumps, noisy,there is suffering, frustration, depressed, disappointed, frustrated , there is misunderstanding, a lot of regret and trouble intertexture. A lot of people addicted to suffering can't self control whenas choose to give up the marriage. I think, in marriage life,each a grief and disappointment is welcoming another new hope. Those not one's day in the marriage is just a small sideshow. Blaming others worried days;complain about the unfair fate;to have bad luck; love's gone,All just don't know the marriage of this knowledge the excuse.

When the romantic themes of romantic love attributed to wateriness,we need to adapt to after marriage the wateriness life of daily necessities. We have to take assume for marriage due responsibility. Love is not always to produce responsibility,but responsibility can in marriage care for love. Marriage in real life, there is always a low ebb when,reality of life in a variety of disappointments followed, at that time if choose to give up, that is for the marriage don't respect and irresponsible!

I think, the goal of marriage is not short of happiness, and should be long-term happiness. Have the responsibility but the lack of love marriage may not be perfect,but it is a complete and true;and there is love but not the responsibility of marriage, it will be short-lived, bound to be empty. Marriage have the sense of responsibility and mission, the marriage life to become happiness, harmonious and cheerful, can really realize the meaning of marriage. Marriage is the responsibility of each other because concluded,be able to maintain long-term,will be able to truly realize fall in love outlast even the heaven and the earth promise,Will be able to be loyal to a family commitment.

Marriage is the tomb of love? I think not! Marriage is love one of the most important coordinates, love because of romance and aestheticism,because marriage and sublimation,the romantic is admittedly the pursuit of love,stable wateriness is the love of end-result. Marriage is love in the process of the consummation and inevitable,rather than the tomb!This is my after the marriage ended in deeply sorrow lament .

Postscript:Can not retain the time to pick up the pace of the passage. Keep to the heartless years helpless sigh. The passage of the past memories,what was leave over is that are not afraid of the naive. Are we lost to time or years to fulfill our change qualitatively? Unload up infuriation words and by secular edification after the soul, whether I just the residual of the dreariness and ironic bones?


婚姻是爱情的坟墓吗?

婚姻和爱情都是人类社会所独有的人的本质的一部分,婚姻是两性关系的物质形式,爱情是两性关系的精神形式。

爱情有尽头吗?是婚姻吗?还是婚姻才是展开另一段爱情的开始呢?每个人对于爱情的“下一个阶段”观念不同,有人说“婚姻是爱情的坟墓”,结婚意味着激情的冷却以及爱情的消逝,这其实是淡化了婚姻的责任,误解了婚姻的真正意义。也许一场婚姻给了我们太多的责任,或者说负担,如家庭的开支,家庭的事物,对方的事业,对方的亲朋好友,包括儿女的生活。可是,难不成对于那种婚前所做的一切就不存在责任可言吗?而且作为一个人,一个有情感的人,又怎么能不学会去承担起自己本身的责任?婚姻真的是那般可怕吗?责任真的是那样难以承担吗?

婚姻之所以没有了爱情那样鲜明而浪漫的色彩,只能说双方不懂得如何去经营爱情,相信当两个人决定结婚之前,一定是彼此有感觉的,只是婚后的日子让爱情变得平淡了。男人和女人都放下了爱情中的浪漫,投入到实在的生活中去,这并不是爱情的消逝,而是对爱情的忽略。

很多人不懂婚姻是什么,不知爱情到底为何物。为什么原本美好的爱情,走到了婚姻神圣的殿堂,就变得如此枯燥不堪了呢?这到底存在什么问题呢?每个人的婚姻不可能如死水一样波澜不惊,必定有很多磕磕绊绊,吵吵闹闹,有痛苦,有挫折,有沮丧,有失意,有彷徨,有误会,很多的遗憾与烦恼交织。很多人沉缅于苦难不能自拨,选择放弃这段婚姻。我想,在婚姻生活中,每一段的忧伤失望正迎接另一个新的希望。那些不如意只是婚姻中的一个小插曲而已。怨人忧天,埋怨命运不公,时运不济,爱情已逝,都只是不懂婚姻这门学问的开脱之词罢了。

当风花雪月的浪漫爱情归于平淡,我们需要适应婚后的柴米油盐的平淡生活。我们必须对婚姻生活承担起应有的责任。爱情不一定能够产生责任,但责任却可以在婚姻中呵护爱情。婚姻在现实的生活中总有陷入低谷的时候,现实的生活中各种各样的不如意随之而来,这时候如果选择放弃,那就是对婚姻的不尊重和不负责任!

我想,婚姻的目标绝不是短暂的幸福,而应当是长久的幸福。有责任而缺乏爱情的婚姻也许并不完美,但它是完整而真实的,而有爱情却没有责任的婚姻,则必定是短暂的,必定是空洞的。婚姻中有了责任感和使命感,婚姻生活才能变得幸福,和谐和愉悦,才能真正地实现婚姻的意义。婚姻正是因为彼此缔结的责任,才能维持长久,才能真正地实现恋爱时对爱情天荒地老的承诺,才能忠于对一个家庭的承诺。

婚姻是爱情的坟墓吗?我想不是。婚姻是爱情的一个重要坐标,爱情因浪漫而唯美,因为婚姻而升华,浪漫固然是爱情所追求的,安稳平淡才是爱情的最终归宿。婚姻是恋爱过程中的完成和必然,而不是坟墓!这是我的婚姻在落幕后的悲哀感慨。

后注:留不住的是时间加快脚步的流逝。留住的是对无情岁月无奈的叹息。流逝的是对过往的追忆,留下的是那天不怕地不怕的天真。到底是我们败给了时间,还是岁月成全了我们的蜕变呢?卸下那激昂的文字和那副被世俗化熏陶后的灵魂,我是否剩下那具凄凉而讽刺的白骨了呢?

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Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 37) 1 2 3 4 More...
#2012-11-17 19:57:39 by anonymous4749 @anonymous4749

对有的人来说是地狱,对有的人来说则是天堂,因人而异,不能一概而论。这个论题有点意思。

#2012-11-18 02:52:07 by Puddyboy60 @Puddyboy60

Thank you, Xin73, for your insightful thoughts on marriage. I agree with what you are saying. When a man and woman love each other so much that they tell each other "I promise to love you, and only you, for the rest of my life" that is one of the most beautiful things in this world. Then, it is the responsibility of both people to maintain the excitement and desire they shared at the start. That is the way to prevent the marriage from becoming stale or monotonous. It can be as simple as surprising her with flowers or a gift for no special reason or occasion. It is simply a way to remind her that you love her and always will. If she is out for the afternoon, make the dinner for her even if you are a lousy cook. Then, when she comes home thinking she will have to make dinner and finds you have done it, she can relax. You have given her the gift of "down time" and you have found another way to say "Darling, I love you, and I always will." Do I sound like I am speaking from experience ? Yes, it is true. The end of my marriage was partially brought about by complacency. We got bored and drifted apart. If I am ever lucky enough to find another woman who I love enough to marry, she will know, every day, that she is the center of my universe and everything else is secondary (not the other way around, like the former marriage ended). Hindsight is 20/20, isn`t it ?

#2012-11-18 09:55:56 by anonymous4753 @anonymous4753

Yes...

#2012-11-18 13:52:27 by anonymous4755 @anonymous4755

婚姻就是爱情的坟墓!二人世界还在维系,那也是亲情早已不是爱情了!
婚姻不一定就是爱情的坟墓 但,婚姻的开始决对是爱情的结束
婚姻的确是爱情的坟墓,但是不结婚的话,这段爱情就死无葬身之地。
人如果不恋爱不结婚,最终也还是要进入坟墓的,不同的是,没有婚姻的人进入坟墓的时候,没有最凄厉的哭喊来为他(她)送行。

#2012-11-18 20:58:36 by sandy339 @sandy339

Hi xin
Nice to know you here.

This issue really troubled me for quite a long time, but one day I realized it is not my personal problem: a lot of men and women have such kinds of problem, which is a big social problem, now I am reading Liyinghe " the history of marriage" I am quite shocked it is really a social problem (the controdition about love and marriage exits long before) if you are interested, you could refer to the book .
In a word, my opinion on marriage is we should make it a labor of love rather then of labor of labor....

Thanks for sharing your opinions here:-)

#2012-11-18 21:43:49 by Johnny @Johnny

Dear, i agree with most of your wrttings but !.... many ladies are LONELY ! ONLY because they are afraid and run away from real love ! including you ! (with all my respect to you) xie xie

#2012-11-18 22:51:57 by sisi0923 @sisi0923

爱的最高境界是经得起平淡的流年,没有比“执子之手,与子携老”的相守更让人感动的。

#2012-11-19 00:59:30 by anonymous4761 @anonymous4761

婚姻是爱情的延续,更是爱情的保护伞!

#2012-11-19 02:59:14 by tage @tage

Nowadays if they looking for love , have a dreams about all benefits from to be together as money , sex , security ,support , social position or relocation as a base of life . There are strivings to find a contract for good times . Marriage , it`s a contract for good and bad times .

#2012-11-19 12:02:50 by xin73 @xin73

Anonymous and sisi0923

从恋爱到步入婚姻的殿堂,走向金婚银婚,很多观念经历着一系列的变化,是人生不断走向成熟的心路历程。恋爱是浪漫的梦幻,充满激情,但同时也带有很强的欺骗性,包括欺人与自欺,婚姻才是现实生活,婚姻给男女双方以充实感、安全感、满足感、舒适感,是一种稳固的愉悦的两性互补关系,是一种稳定的饱和状态。

婚姻不是爱情的坟墓,它只是生活中的一面放大镜,放大了爱情的千疮百孔。有的人会小心翼翼精心地把这些缺陷补好,而有的人只会不断的制造新的伤痛。前者是明智的,而后者则是愚蠢的。
凡是经历婚姻过来人,各人对婚姻有着不同的看法,而我认为婚姻不是爱情的坟墓,而是风雨同舟,荣辱与共的人生之路。

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