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我出世在一个美丽的国家,经历了动荡的时代和历史的变迁,终于回到了祖国。当岁月积淀女人的智慧与理性,我终于剥下华丽与虚荣,学会积累生活和人生的体悟,我在这里与大家分享生活的心灵感悟,感悟人生的真谛。I was born in a beautiful country, Vietnam, and lived through the turbulent era and the history of changes, then finally returned to the Mother China. With years of accumulated wisdom and feminine rationality,I finally peeled off the gorgeous and vanity. I am here to share with you inspiration, love, hope and thankfulness and their role in understanding the depth and true meaning of life.
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Love with or without losing and winning? 爱情有输赢?    

By Xin73
6743 Views | 22 Comments | 5/16/2013 5:43:55 PM

Love with or without losing and winning?

Love is tortured people things, let a person broken heart but be fascinated.So, to the end love with or without losing and winning? Who lost to who? Who won to who?In my opinion, not all love need to start and to outcome.Love if there is a probation period, I think it must be a lot of people make an appointment , but, that is love? It isn't love, but a game, more like a bet.

Sometimes, love each other of lovers for some reason to give up other side,the giving up is a loser or winner?When he (she) really belongs to you, realize that two persons have the happiness.But in for a long time to get along with the occasional disharmony is inevitable,more is no ground for blame,there will always be one party's compromise and concessions.Concession is not wronged, not to defeated, but for a loved one's make with efforts; perhaps will run counter to oneself original intention,but when own compromise to let lovers of face arise a smile, that moment innermost feel relieved.I think, between lovers to understand each other and tolerance, there is nothing more comforting than this.

Some people think that love to more deep more to feel own low self-esteem.Love a person,can let oneself become humble and lose self.I think, between men and women are equal, no difference between high and low, does not need to go to compare who had better who,who love who more, who must to pay a little more.Rather than of wasting time to haggle over these innocuous things, is better than use these time to calculate how much love each other deep .

Perhaps love is a game playing, but love is not a war, there is no what is called winning or losing.We can't use love as an excuse to restrict other side and beat other side.If the deep love a person, but the other side put deep love regard as the restrict of the key, to each other perhaps is a very sad thing. Loved ones,can not get respect and to cherish;be loved of person,behind in arrogant get is vanity. Happiness will therefore far across the ten thousand crags and torrents.

In the world of love, there are a lot of people always entanglements in the plot of romance and cruel, to get yourself more dead than alive, every day do not know expend how much energy, to deal with these "shear continuously, manage to return disorderly" of emotions, in the end affect the work,more affect the life.If really let yourself go to this point,lose to out,in fact,is not your feelings, but your own life.

Love has no who to who wrong,nor in order of arrival,have a plenty of love or not love.The reality is the same,this fate and that fate,accumulation and dispersion are sometimes,need not importune.At a time of result,really not ultimate of love!Love has no who lose who wins,have a plenty of appropriate or inappropriate.No everlasting love in the world,also there is nothing can immortal.


Love on the Internet, more have no who sorry who,have no who owes who.The appreciation is mutual, light, but also of each other.Others cannot simplicity with affectionate or fickle give to parties down to conclusions.Everyone knows that in this world the most fickle is one's heart! So I think the love there is no winners and losers. Life is so short, the world is so big, can meet a whole heart of the person you like, that is how not easy.When love comes, I will proceed without hesitation put into love ,who will dare say love deeper and more of that person is loser?And I think that only input sentiment to deepest and most true of man just is the most happiness of people.

Love is to enjoy the beautiful process, rather than haggle over and dispute of emotional weights of heft.In nice the life to experience and thoroughly to love, this is very rare.In any case don't for own to pay to regret,because love never who wins and who loses.

Finally, in here I thank TimG to offer me this blog pretty pictures, at the same time thank TimG and James-father to tutoring in English for me.

爱情有输赢?

爱是折磨人的东西,让人心碎却又着迷。那么爱情里到底有或没有输赢?谁输给谁?谁赢了谁?在我看来,不是所有的爱情都需要开始和结局。爱情如果有试用期,我想一定会很多人预约,但,那是爱情吗?那不是爱情,而是一场游戏,更像一场赌注。

有时候,彼此相爱的情侣为了某些原因而放弃了对方,这个放弃算是输家还是赢家呢?当他(她)真的属于你的时候,体会到两个人才会有的幸福。但长久相处中偶尔出现的不和谐是在所难免,更是无可厚非,总会有一方妥协退让,退让不是委屈、不是输了,而是为了心爱的人作出的努力;也许会违背自己的初衷,但是当自己的妥协让爱人的脸上泛起微笑,那一刻内心也就释然。我想,恋人之间能够互相理解和宽容,没有什么比这更值得欣慰。

有些人认为,爱得越深越感到自己的卑微。深爱一个人会让自己变得低声下气和失去自我。我认为,男女之间是平等的,并无须要高低之分,无须去对比谁更优秀过谁,谁更爱谁,谁必须要付出多一些。与其浪费时间去计较这些无关痛痒的事情,倒不如用这些时间去计算彼此爱得有多深。

爱情也许是一场博弈,但爱情不是战争,没有所谓的输赢。我们不能用爱为借口去制约对方和打败对方。如果深重地爱一个人,而对方把深重的爱作为制约的要害,想必于彼此是一件极为可悲的事。爱的人,得不到尊重和珍惜;被爱的人,在骄纵的背后得到的是虚荣。幸福会因此而遥隔千山万水。

在爱情的世界里,有许多人总是纠结在浪漫又残酷的情节中,把自己搞得生不如死,每天不知道要花多少精力,去处理这些“剪不断、理还乱”的情绪,到最后影响工作,更影响了生活。如果真的让自己走到这个地步,输掉的,其实不是你的感情,而是你自己的人生。

爱情中没有谁对谁错,也没有先来后到之分,有的是爱或不爱。现实中也是一样,缘来缘去,聚散有时,莫须强求。一时的结果,并非是爱情的终极!爱情里没有谁输谁赢,有的是合适或者不合适的问题。世上没有天长地久的爱情,也没有什么可以永垂不朽。

网络的爱请,更没有谁对不起谁,没有谁欠谁。欣赏是相互的,淡薄,也是相互的。旁人不能单纯地以多情或者薄情来给当事人下定论。谁都知道在这个世间最善变的就是人心!所以我认为爱情里面没有输赢之分。人生如此短暂,世界如此之大,能够遇见一个全心喜欢的人,那是多么不容易。 当爱情来了,我会义无反顾地投入十分去爱一场,谁会说爱得深爱得多的那个人就是输家?而我认为只有投入感情最深最真的那个人才是最幸福的人。

爱情是享受美好的过程,而不是计较和争执感情砝码的轻重。在美好的生命中体验和彻底地去爱,这是很难得的。无论如何不要为自己的付出而后悔,因为爱情里面永远没有谁输谁赢。

最后,在这里我感谢TimG给我提供这篇博客的精美图片,同时感谢TimG和James-father对我英文的指导。





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Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 22) 1 2 3 More...
#2013-05-16 19:08:09 by anonymous6187 @anonymous6187

爱情确实存在有输和赢
只要我们留心一下周围,再结合实例,就会得出一个简单的结论:世上的爱情,没有绝对的均等。两性情感中,必定有个你输我赢之分。你爱我十分,我未必能付出十分回应你。更多的却是:你爱对方十分,对方只肯给你八分,甚至更少,五、六分,三、四分也不是没有。爱情这东西,一点都不平等,想不明白这点,就只能自寻烦恼。
也许,果真有那么一个人,能够与我们的爱情相匹配。我们付出多少,就能得到对方多少回应。但是,我们很少能碰到这样的人。终其一生,我们能够遇到的、能够与之发生爱情的异性,不是比我们爱得多,就是比我们爱得少。一段爱情中,总会有一个人输,有一个人赢。
谁都想赢,没有人想做输的那个。可是,这由不得我们,我们做不了主,很多时候,我们主宰不了自己的心。
基本上,两性之间付出感情多的那一个,必定就是输掉的一方。也许表面上赢了,经过多年努力,费尽心机,终于娶到自己喜欢的女人,或者处心积虑,总算嫁给自己深爱的男人。但是,这份表面上的赢,得来太辛苦、太吃力。为了取悦对方,讨好、痴缠,以失去自尊为代价赢来的爱情。看上去赢了,实际上还是输了。
也有人不屑于这样,他们骄傲,高高在上,绝不做输掉的那一个。他们是感情洁癖者,无法认同对方的付出不及自己多,对方的爱不及自己深。他们宁肯选择放弃,也要成全自己的唯美心态。他们装作对过往情事嗤之以鼻,他们自己也认为,他们没有输,他们赢了。但是,如果你知道他们曾在暗夜里,无数次地流下眼泪。你就会明白,看上去赢了,其实还是输了。
我认识一个女人,她与恋人分手后,常在背后诋毁人家。而那个男人却表现得非常宽容,不与她一般计较。显然,在这段感情中,女人是输的一方,而男人才是赢家。赢了,才大度,宽容,原宥输者的无礼。
赢的那一个,永远是付出感情少的一方。他们不是不爱你,但他们爱你总不及你爱他们多。这个也怨不得他们,到了另一段爱情关系中,可能他们就变成输的那一方了。说白了,爱情的输赢非常简单。只要付出感情少,就不会输。可是……道理人人都懂,轮到自己输的时候,还是躲不过去。

所以说在爱的游戏规则里还是存在输和赢的,这点是不容否认的!

#2013-05-16 19:09:49 by anonymous6188 @anonymous6188

爱情,的确一场有输有赢的赌博...... 2008-08-16 13:27:01|
押一腔昂贵的真情,苦苦等待在心与心的交流之中,相互揣摸对方的心事,沿着他的脾性去触摸敏感的神经,感受一种独特的刺激和快慰.
一次又一次的对垒,表情在理智的掩盖下微妙地变幻,它将氛围变得紧张,空气不停地浓缩,思维.情感.一切意念之间的东西,此时异常地活跃起来.
这是一场极具魅力的智慧游戏,它带有浓浓的人情味.
徜徉于这场不动刀枪的酣战之中,有时为了促成最终目标,彼此绞尽脑汁.思来想去.千方百计地为对方设一个美丽的陷阱,酷似不见血的刀,无声的枪.苦斗中,大有胜者为王.败者为寇之势,以致于各得其乐,各有所伤,以致于人比黄花瘦.
当双方胜负趋于平衡时,由于精力的缘故,也由于其它因素,彼此达成妥协协议,战争停火,鸿沟也随之平矣.
感情的天平一旦倾斜,不成情侣便成仇敌,遂生出君子报仇十年不晚和削发为尼为僧等痴情.殉情者来.
久经沙场的人,输赢也就自然看得轻了.其实,真正的赌王,在乎的并不是输或赢,而是输要输得甘心.骨气,赢要赢得坦荡.潇洒.
有人成功了,有人失败了.成功者不沾沾自喜,失败者不沉沦欲绝.这,才是赌的最高镜界.
爱情亦如此.

#2013-05-16 19:33:33 by Apinkapple @Apinkapple

Hi,Xin,
Sorry for an unfinished posting because of the problem from the machine.
I dare not say I fall in love with a man without real meet and contact.
I believe love stems from attraction of the souls as well as chemistry.Without face-to-face meet and body contact,how can I know whether I like the man truly or not.

I have not married yet,so I had some blind-dating experiences. I found the men whom I like are those whose chemistry attracted to me firstly.This is the signal emitted by the instinct of our body, we can not resist.

A virtual relationship online ended abruptly should be in our expectations. We should not be too sad.
Most of the women on the CLM maybe had the same experiences as us before they finally met their Mr.Right.

On the other hand,I think love is a very private thing, which should be protected carefully.When the flower of our feelings still in its infancy, we should quietly irrigate and fertilize her until she blossom and bear fruits.

Even if the relationship ended up with a sad story,I prefer to keep it in my heart and appreciate the man who ever gave me some beautiful days.
I don't think all of the men like to be exposed to others without any privacy even though on the Internet.

I think the premature announcement of love will scare each other and will make men or women feel they are urged to recognize a relationship.

I will say I like a man but I won't say I love a man before I meet him really.
Good luck and take care.

#2013-05-17 00:08:06 by anonymous6190 @anonymous6190

网络爱情更存在输和赢。

#2013-05-17 09:01:37 by anonymous6192 @anonymous6192

任何事物都具有两面性都不是绝对的,爱情也如此,挑战无处不在,战场,竟技场,考场,情场也如此,,只是看你怎么看待理解输和赢了,输赢不重要,输和赢都很精彩,但输赢是必然存在的现象,也是每一个人生要面对和回避不了的事。

#2013-05-17 13:46:38 by 345 @345

讲得无错,很赞!所以说怎么生活都好,只要开心得过,比什么都重要。

#2013-05-17 18:54:07 by Apinkapple @Apinkapple

Hi, Xin,
How are you recently ?

The above posting is the next half of what I wrote yesterday.It was missed because of the problem of the machine.Now I add something to my posting.I just want to share my ideas with you and other friends here.

Judging by your blogs,You are a wise lady with women's sentimentality and men's generosity.That's why I like to read your blogs.

In my opinion,it takes time and luck to meet our Mr.or Ms. Right.Before that we will meet some others who enrich our lives.

We are lucky enough that we live in an age with the Internet,which shortens the distance between people,meanwhile which makes the distance between hearts farther away.It sounds cruel, but we must face the fact.

Dating on the Internet is really like a game where a man and a woman take part in together through some virtual tools. So the relationship is also virtual before real meeting.

The game will be over with two endings. one ending is that one of the parties firstly leave just because he or she doesn't want to continue the game,which is very common. The other is that both sides leave together happily into marriage.You and me both are expecting the latter.

It's true that one of the parties will feel hurt when the relationship has broken up.We have no choice but to go forward with smile.

Some dance to remember,some dance to forget...

Share an English song with you from The Eagles.

HOTEL CALIFORNIA 加州旅馆

on a dark desert highway,行驶在昏黑的荒漠公路上,

cool wind in my hair.凉风吹过我的头发.

warm smell of colitas,温馨的大麻香,

rising up through the air.弥漫在空气中.

up ahead in the distance,抬头遥望远方,

i saw a shimmering light.我看到微弱的灯光.

my head grew heavy my sight grew dim.我的头越来越沉,视线也变得模糊.

i had to stop for the night.我不得不停下来过夜.

there she stood in the doorway;她站在门口那儿招呼我

i heard the mission bell.我听到远处教堂的钟声.

and i was thinking to myself,我在心里对自己说

"this could b heaven or this could b hell".这里可能是天堂也可能是地狱.

then she lit up a candle,然后她点燃了蜡烛,

and she showed me the way.给我引路.

there were voices down the corridor.沿着走廊传来阵阵说话声.

i thought i heard them say...我想我听到他们在说……

welcome to the hotel california!欢迎来到加州旅馆!

such a lovely place!如此美丽的地方!

such a lovely face!多么可爱的的面容!!

plenty of room at the hotel california!加州旅馆有充足的房间!

any time of year,u can find it here!一年的任何时候,你都能在这找到房间.

her mind is tiffany-twisted,她的心为珠宝所扭曲,

she got the mercedes bends.她拥有豪华奔驰车.

she got a lot of pretty,pretty boys.她有许多漂亮的小伙子.

that she calls friends.她称之为朋友.

how they dance in the courtyard,他们在庭院里翩翩起舞,

sweet summer sweat.夏日的香汗淋漓.

some dance to remember!有些舞是为了回忆!

some dance to forget!而有些舞是为了忘却!

so i called up the captain,于是我叫来领班,

"please bring me my wine."请给我来些酒.

he said"we haven't had that spirit here,他说我们这不供应列酒

since nineteen sixty nine."从1969年起.

and still those voices are calling from far
away.远处仍然传来他们的话语.

wake u up in the middle of the night.在半夜把你吵醒.

just to hear them say...只听到他们在说……

welcome to the hotel california!欢迎到加州旅馆来!

such a lovely place!如此美丽的地方!

such a lovely face!多么可爱的的面容!

they livin' it up at the hotel california.他们在加州旅馆尽情狂欢.

what a nice surprise,好得令人吃惊,

bring your alibis.使你有来到这的借口.

mirrors on the ceiling,天花板上镶嵌着的镜子,

the pink champagne on ice.冰镇着的粉色香槟

and she said"we are all just prisoners here-她说我们都是这的囚徒

-of our own device".但是是我们自愿的.

and in the master's chambers.在主人的卧房里.

they gathered for the feast.他们为宴会聚在一起.

they stabbed it with their steely knives.他们彼此间用钢刀相互砍杀.

but they just can't kill the beast.但他们甚至不能杀死野兽!

last thing i remember,我所记得的最后一件事

i was running for the door.是我跑向门口.

i had to find the passage back,我必须找到来时的路,

to the place i was before.回到我过去的地方.

"relax",said the night man,守夜人说放宽心,

"we are programmed to receive.我们只是照常接待

you can checkout any time you like.你想什么时候结帐都可以.

but you can never leave!"但你永远无法离去!


#2013-05-18 00:25:58 by TimG @TimG

@Apinkapple

I agree with you when seeking a marriage partner. The attraction must be there or weakness can appear in the relationship. Infidelity can result. However, there are also many kinds of love. Child love. Parent love. Friend love. (At least in English there is). Maybe there is also internet love? How it fits, I do not know.

#2013-05-18 16:42:13 by Apinkapple @Apinkapple

@TimG
Hi, TimG,Thanks for your commenting.

Yes,I do agree with you on the point that there are many kinds of love,including Child love,Parent love, Friend love,and love of men and women.

Xin's article talks about the love of the men and women.
I think some men and women on the CLM are also looking for an Internet love which can lead them into a real marriage.

Also,I don't know what an Internet love is like.
In my view ,Internet is only a tool. We just want to meet true love and a right marriage partner through it. However, it seems that the process is so complicated and confusing, but the result is so unsatisfactory and disappointing. So we often read some stories about an infatuated girl deserted by a heartless man.

I really don't know what some west men are looking for on the Internet.Maybe they just want Plato love online, extramarital affairs,one-night stand when a trip to China, or something else.They flirt with Chinese women with their cheap sweet words on the line and make some women fall in an illusory love,and then they disappear suddenly,which makes the women very painful.

To the contrary,the Chinese men are traditional and conservative. They are not good at flattering women with sweet words.It is likely that Chinese women are born lack of immunity to sweet words.As a result,women seems to easily fall in an illusory love just because of sweet words from west men.

Personally,I think dating on the line is a very good way to learn a language and different cultures,also it's an access to know west men better,through which I can grow up well.
Anyway,I'm confident about my future.

Best regards.

#2013-05-18 22:11:24 by ripe @ripe

我同意你的观点,爱情没有输赢,因为爱情不是一场赌博,只有爱或不爱。

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