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John Abbot is co-owner of ChinaLoveMatch.net. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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Kibecky’s Long Journey Into Scammer Prison Part 2    

By John Abbot
2508 Views | 0 Comments | 4/14/2012 6:00:25 PM

For an interesting article on Nigerian Scammers click on this photo. Maybe one of these guys is Kibecky, our beautiful Chinese girl.

After the exchange of letters you saw in Part 1 of this blog, in which MemberX was dating a “Chinese girl” who supposedly resides in the UK but had gone on a trip to Nigeria, I discovered that a letter I had sent to MemberX earlier than the last letter in Part 1 had actually not reached him, so I sent it again. You’ll find it below and it’s valuable because of our recommendations to MemberX on what to watch for, as well as his understandable refusal to want to give up on Kibecky, but his intelligent plan to now test Kibecky more thoroughly to determine if she was real or not. In this letter I am setting MemberX’s responses in bold so they’re easy to separate from my own questions and comments.

Hi MemberX

I thought the following had already been sent to you before my last letter, but when I went back to check it turns out that the internet here in China had interfered and my message was not sent. Below is what I wrote in response to your first letter and I very much need you to please answer my questions ASAP.

I appreciate your responsiveness very much and hope you'll be able to respond to these questions before you go to sleep back there in Canada.

Yes, I am wide awake for now...it's 11:30pm or so as I write this but I'm awake enough, still, to do this... the messages were delayed I will do this no don't worry...

Yes, we need to be QUICK to make sure this doesn't happen to others, if it has already or will soon happen...who knows...

Written Prior to My Last Letter

We will hold off from placing kibecky in Scammer Prison until we've discussed this with you further. In the meantime please understand that we would love to find out that kibecky is real and that you will live happily ever after with her. That is why we have our websites and that is what is in our own best interests. We take no joy in discovering a scammer trying to take advantage of a member. It disappoints us immensely.

I can tell you I am a retired Canadian Lawyer and I have 5 years experience managing international dating sites and I am NOT over reacting. We wish to be fair to kibecky if she is real, but we are seeing several signs that she is not real.

I must walk a very fine line here because if she is real then we owe her a duty of confidentiality. So I must ask you to trust me and answer some questions and that when I've finished investigating this I will either tell you I am persuaded she is real or I will tell you why I think she is not real.

I strongly suggest that you do not contact kibecky and tell her of our concerns as that will surely sour things between you if she is genuine and it will alert her to avoid detection if she is a scammer. After the smoke has cleared if you choose to tell her that is entirely up to you.

You mention that you had a video chat with her. It is a common trick of scammers to have a chat in which they hold an image of the girl pictured in front of the video cam but they quickly introduce issues such as bad reception, static, blackening of the screen, etc very shortly after the chat has begun. They also will have a short video of the person and play that as if it is live.

Can you confirm that you had lengthy video chats with kibecky in which you could clearly see her and in which she was in motion?

I will admit I very much lied about that...I am truly sorry I just didn't want to look like a dumb-ass (though I probably look like more of one as a result...ahh well ce la vie)...from this point forward I will be VERY candid with you about as much as I can be...

As mentioned before, her voice was British but a BIT lower than it seemed it should be for a women...it was explained as a cold...and that seemed reasonable enough to me at the time.

One of the things you said above happened. Even I was a bit suspicious but I wanted to believe so I did- I'm sure that happened to lots of people and you've heard it thousands upon thousands of times.

I'll go into my relationship with her (I am pretty sure kibecky is a 'her' at least- but I could be wrong I suppose). I met her and we spoke for a fairly good amount of time on the site then we exchanged yahoo addresses...so far so good, of course this is pretty normal so nothing suspicious there really. I would have done that with most of the girls.

OK then, so here's the deal. We spoke quite a bit and she told me about herself, etc. A botonist, from the UK, has a dog, about her friends, etc, etc...all pretty normal stuff. After several discussions, as we got more comfortable with each-other, we started talking about more sexual stuff- what I like what she likes etc.

We spoke about her family, we spoke about her friends (and mine to some extent) some more and about the possibility of a relationship with her, etc. We even spoke about the possibility of getting married but that we'd take it slow and that she'd move here and we'd get to know each-other for a good long time before we did that kind of thing...

When I tried to do the video chat thing a few weeks ago she said her web-cam didn't work- she had 'ordered' it a week or more ago before that. She got someone to talk to me in a technical sense and he tried to fix it...it was very obvious it was a different person...or at least a different personality trying to fix the computer.

She said she had ordered both a cam and headphones to use.

Even the 'girlfriends' told me that they saw a box from fed-ex with the cam in it and tried to get it to work by installing it, etc. Or something to that effect anyways...

Anyways, the web cam didn't work and she put on quite a show in trying to get it to work. The most that happened was a short web-cam of a chair in a room then it cut out. I didn't get to see much detail there was a door behind it- it was too quick to see much more details than that.

OK then, so we talked some more and on and on it went for a while then she said she needs to go to Africa for a couple of weeks for a botanist thing. OK then, that's something I can understand...

So, she does that and a few days later she contacts me and tells me all is well there and we talk as per normal.

This is a suspicious part (in the light was are talking about anyways) she said she got MUGGED and they took all her stuff and that of the people she was working with that were with her. I told her I can't send much money but I DID send her $155 CAD through Fedex. I know I probably shouldn't have but I used it as a TEST. I KNOWINGLY did it as a test...

I promise you, if she had asked again NO MATTER WHAT WAS HAPPENING I would not have sent more...this was my test to see if she was legit or not. How to test it? If she never sent anything back then I know she's not legit. Simple as that. Or if she ever asked for more money...one (or both) of the two and she would be gone. That is my rule...

For the record (I'm not sure if she said similar things to other people or not but here goes...): She told me that her father was a difficult person and that he was highly religious! She said that he didn't like her being in Africa at all and was mad about it.

This part coming up is a bit suspicious, she told me that she was born in South Africa but was of Singapore decent...and moved to the UK after that.

That's NOT the suspicious part though... the suspicious part is that she first told me it was when she was three years old that she went to the UK and then in another conversation a fairly long time after that she said some other time-frame. I never said anything but it DID make me wonder because I DO tend to want to pay attention to those kinds of details...it's just a thing for me and lucky too it seems!

As well, when she went to Africa she told me that she wanted to visit me here in Canada when she got back. She DID NOT ask for money at that time...so far the only time was the $155 CAD I sent her- I have the receipt for it if need be.

Of course, that fell through and she got mugged instead. She told me also that she wants to sell her condo in the UK when she gets back and is going to try and start the process while over in Nigeria for work.

She said she wants to come here March 28th or so... or at least by Easter.

So, what I plan on doing is to test her...if she, for some reason, doesn't come here then is the following:

1. Does she actually come here for march (or thereabouts as per above)
2. Does she return to the UK when she says she will (i.e. in 2-3 weeks MAX)
3. Does she ever return that money when she gets there and in a reasonable amount of time?
4. Does she get a new computer within a reasonable amount of time like she said she would when she gets back.
5. If she asks for ANY more money then that's a BIG fail on her test!
6. If she doesn't talk to me for a very long time (i.e. more than just a few days or a week)
7. If she gets VERY angry and can't be consoled.

Other suspicious things, there have been random times when her yahoo id was on-line but she didn't respond to me...the same for her friend Anna. Most of the time she does respond though. Sometimes, when I try and talk and there's no response (which isn't often but still...) it drops quickly sometimes it takes a while...

Other things she's said...her dad will send her money to help her out. Her friend Anna will as well.

I HAVE seen this before and it happened to my previous wife sometimes with her yahoo when we were going good...so I only thought a small glitch.

Here is something VERY suspicious...I looked it up as a result of our talks...

http://solenex.com/profile.php?ID=12977 - note she uses kibecky57 for her yahoo and it's the same pics too...

She goes by Becky Kin

The THREE main things I find a problem are:

1. her religion is different (Islamic/Catholic)- she did say catholic in all our discussions.
2. her age shows up as 24 in one and 26 in the other
3. her location is different...it says Bristol England in one and USA in the other. As well when I asked for her address for the fedex thing (I took it just in case though it ended up not being needed) she gave a LONDON address...I have it if you need it.

I also have a phone# she gave me to use and her friend Anna's email address. I also have the address and I think the phone# of the place she's staying but I am not 100% sure of it.

Lets see...

I can't think of much more for this part (that's A LOT already...)...there is some more below so I'll answer that stuff now...

Can you confirm that the video chat you had with her was live action in which she was responding to questions you were asking, etc?

Could you see her lips moving?

Could you see her blinking?

Could you see her hands in motion?
I lied about (the video chat) I'm sorry...please see above.

You say you spoke with her friends.

Who were the friends?
I got a list of, perhaps, 5 people- Anna was one the others are lost in a few weeks ago yahoo chat. They spent a pretty good amount of time with me on the computer but it was NOT a video chat...it was text only. They all LOVED the way I look (I get this a lot on the Asian sites so this is NOT a weird thing for me- pretty much all of the girls say that...). They spoke about a great many things so it's not easy to say it all but, more or less, they said she was beaten in her other relationships and they talked about her quite a bit. The most recent one was a 5 year one. She said the same thing as they did.

Any time I spoke to them (it was maybe 2-3 times) she was not beside the computer. She said she left to go have a shower or to go to the store quickly, etc. I thought this somewhat odd but I figured she just wanted me to talk to her friends alone... OK then. I can understand that reasoning.


How did you speak with them?
I spoke to them and there seemed to be maybe 3-5 of them I can't remember the names right now but they are in my yahoo chat somewhere.

How did you come to meet them?
Becky introduced them and then, as above, they talked and Becky did something else.

Other countries:

You mention she told you she was in the Ivory Coast, but did she mention any other countries she has been in while en-route?
I can't remember for sure I think there was one (or more) additional ones but I just can't remember that right now.

Did she mention any other countries she has travelled to in the past month?
I can't recall any in particular. She did say she loves travelling, though, that's it I think.

If so, what countries has she said she was in - and why was she there?
All she said was that she was in Africa for some botanist stuff and that she was mugged and had to go from the Ivory Coast to Nigeria...after travelling quite a while...again, I can't remember if there were more than two countries she mentioned.

MemberX, please understand that what is happening to you has happened to others, and it always turns out to be a scam. I can virtually guarantee you that if you do not reveal to kibecky that we suspect her, then during her two week trip to Nigeria some disaster is going to befall her and she is going to need you to send her money to save her. I can be quite certain about this because it has happened to so many before you. And no one on our sites who has "traveled" to Nigeria for business reasons has ever turned out to be real.

I did tell her sorry again... not much but enough...regardless I will not send her any more money...that is a rule I made...as per the above things- it would not have happened regardless of if this is a scam or not or if you had contacted me or not. I did make several 'tests' so that if they fail any of them then I seriously look at them and decide what to do from there.

To be VERY clear, I am not willing to give up on 'her' yet but what I will do is exercise VERY serious caution and see how things go. I will see IF I talk to her in the next few days for one...if I do I'll see how things go. I believe I have done all I can in this email to help you in your investigation (at this point) but please feel free to contact me via email and via yahoo if you like. My yahoo name is: MemberXPhoenix and my yahoo email is: MemberX_farina@yahoo.com so, as per my initial intro, if you want to contact me via yahoo chat you are welcome to do so...I can't guarantee I'll be up but I plan on being up for at least a bit of time yet.


We currently believe that kibecky is part of a Scammer organization that operates in many countries.

Even with all the above, I am NOT 100% convinced as of yet. I need to have VERY serious proof not only from you guys but also my own proof as per the above, etc. For now, I am 25% sure of kibecky being a scam.

With your report, I will see how things go. If it's all not a scam great but if you think it is based on your evidence then I will proceed in one of two ways...either I will just plain stop talking to her or I will test things out and see how she reacts...I will MOST LIKELY go with the second option but we shall see...

I am no fool as I'm sure you can tell. But, even smart guys can be taken in by things even if they are LOOKING for them! I know for a fact that if this becomes a scam thing then I will know A LOT more because of going through this process and thus I VERY much appreciate what you are doing here!

Remember, though, I have set up my own tests and I was and am still willing to stop any relationship if those are threatened. True, I did decide to test more than I might have but even so it was still la test and if you had never come along I'd still have figured it out eventually if it is a scam and if it's not then great we move on as planned!

So, if it turns out to be just one big pile of coincidences and all is well then she'll be here when she said she would be if not then not...I am learning towards this being a scam now but I am willing to see it through since the rewards are great if it isn't one!

I know that might seem foolish at this point but I want to be 100% SURE of it before I break things off...I'm sure you understand why and I'm sure you RESPECT that way of thinking...just so long as I am realistic about the outcome...

I'll await your response but in the meantime please exercise caution and please do not alert kibecky to the situation. Hopefully I am not too late saying that.

Best regards, John

I will do my best...

Be Well,
MemberX


In my next posting I’ll wrap up how Kibecky finally found her way into Scammer Prison and how and why MemberX came to settle in his own mind that it was time to let go of Kibecky and move on. I can’t express enough my admiration for this young man and how he handled the matter and for his openness and intelligence in not only assisting us in our investigation but in overcoming his own natural tendency to want to believe Kibecky and ultimately accepting that she could not be real.

In the last posting you’ll get to see the information we discovered that finally pushed the matter to a close.

To be continued:

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