Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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It's a lovely holiday, watch some bastard spoil it....Part 2    

By Paul Fox
1553 Views | 5 Comments | 10/30/2016 8:13:42 AM

There are worse places to hangout with your new Chinese love than in Vietnam. It's a great way to get to know someone.

Providing CLM members with blogs is not solely about entertainment. It's about sharing experiences and giving advice to others. Whether or not a member chooses to take that advice is another matter. A couple of years ago I traveled to Thailand with a lady that I met on CLM. Although things didn't work out for us, I have absolutely no regrets in doing so. The decision to write about it here for all-and-sundry to read (many ladies included), was perhaps not the wisest decision I have ever made. Being a 'philandering playboy' may have once been an aspiration, but it's not the 'real' me.

Since moving to China, my 'hit-rate' on CLM has plummeted to zero. After all, while living in Australia, women here had something to brag about to their friends and family...'I've met a man in Australia and we're chatting every day!' - Time to get the wedding invitations printed....

Hardly the same when one lives in China. 'I've met a western man from Jiangsu province!' Gone is the 'sparkle' and excitement, only to be replaced by 'Ah, you've met a philandering playboy then!'

When I emigrated from the UK to Australia I couldn't wait for my family to come over for a holiday. 'Great, Mum and Dad are coming for a month - yippee!'

Taking a month off work is not just virtually impossible, but is also not the problem. Your family wants to be entertained and you are their personal tour guide. Having friends or family visit you is not only extremely tiring, it's also bloody expensive when you have to take them to a different restaurant every day!

Gone are the relaxing evenings in front of the box with a glass of your favourite tipple after a hard day at work, you must entertain your guests.

It was this kind of experience that led me to do what I did when I went to Thailand a couple of years ago with the lady I met here.

It was Christmas. My first Christmas after my ex-wife and I had split up. I didn't want to hang around at home for the 2 weeks I was off work, so I decided to go to Thailand for a holiday.

I suggested it to the lady I had been chatting to (we hadn't met in person), and she was up for going too. I had a few days with her in her hometown and then we flew to Thailand together.

She had never been overseas before, and I have a good mate in Phuket that I used to visit quite regularly, so heading there for a week seemed to be a good idea. Also, I didn't want her to feel the pressure of entertaining me every day in her hometown.

As I said, things didn't work out for us (and if you read the blogs you'll find out why), but I would do it again without hesitation. Spending time together away from both your hometowns, your friends and your families, gives you plenty of time to get to know each other without being in any way pretentious.

Alone in Vietnam, memories of that trip came flooding back. Totally enhanced by Barry Pittbull and his daily quest to discover my movements. 'Don't you wish you had a lady there with you?' he'd ask on an almost daily basis.

The truth is, I didn't wish it at all, but it would have been nice.

'What will you do today?' Pitbull would ask. He eventually came to rely on my standard reply which was...

'Yesterday I started doing absolutely nothing, and today I will continue to do what I started doing yesterday'

Flying halfway around the world to meet your lady in China is a big thing. But as I said, spare a thought for your lady and the enormous pressure she'll have in order to keep you entertained during your trip - as well as the expense.

It's not an idea that springs to the minds of many, but taking her away for a week or so is something I would highly recommend you consider. And what better place than Vietnam?

It's close to China (a couple of hours by plane), and it's extremely cheap and affordable when you get there.

Getting around Vietnam is slow, but transport is cheap.

Ho Chi Minh is still called Saigon by just about everyone there. It's a vibrant city with horrendous traffic, but there's much to see and do.

Head directly east to Mui Ne. A coastal town with a decent beach, but 2 or 3 days is enough. Another 4-hour bus trip up the coast will find you in Nha Trang. The most beautiful beach I have seen outside Australia. Once again, the city is vibrant, clean, and there's heaps to do if you want to.

The next place up the coast is 9 hours by bus so I declined to go, but back in February we headed inland to a city called Da Lat. No beach obviously, but a lovely place with much to see and do. From there we went back to HCM.

Each bus ride (sleeper buses by the way), was around 4 hours and cost about USD$7, and I never paid more than USD$25 per night for a hotel, including breakfast.

The other thing to note is that nothing was planned. I have app on my I-pad and I'd just jump on there and find hotels as I went - easy!

You'll probably end up spending less money on hotels there than you would by staying in China, and believe me, it's an awesome way to get to know your lady.

The main photo here is the hotel I stayed at in Mui Ne. The photos below were all taken in Nha Trang

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#2016-10-30 08:13:20 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Paul, once again you have me drooling for a stay in Vietnam, and I must agree wholeheartedly with your suggestion that a great way to meet and get to know someone you have met on CLM is ti take a sidetrip for a week or so to a neutral but pleasant location.

However, a word of caution. Most Chinese women are adverse to the sun, and you should not plan a trip to the beaches of Vietnam without seriously discussing it first. And do not take polite acceptance for an answer. Unless she sounds seriously excited about a week on the beach, don't do it. You will not enjoy your trip, you will not enjoy each other's company and you will not likely survive the week together.

Just consider that Chinese women generally take great care of their appearance, they work hard to preserve their very youthful looks, and they consider the hot sun to be their enemy. This can be a minor aggravation in someone you've already come to love and to appreciate her many good points, but it can be a deal breaker when every moment together during that important first week you are trying to enjoy a cold beer under the hot sun on that beautiful golden sand she is hiding under several layers of clothing, beneath a massive umbrella and behind a frown almost as big as the umbrella.

But take that same woman to Hanoi, which is reputed to be both cultured, fascinating and a lot of fun, with a 2 day sidetrip down to the coast near the China/Vietnam border, where the scenery is second to none and there are fun things to do involving the ocean that are not about laying under the sun for hours at a time, and you might find yourself in the company of a happy, energetic and very entertaining Chinese lady.

There are also many other places in S.E. Asia and in China where you can have a great week that a non-beach bunny will really love and will shine in. Chiang Mai in Thailand, Lijiang or Dali in Yunnan, China, are a couple of others that come to mind.

My wife and I plan on going to Thailand soon, and possibly staying there for anywhere from 3 weeks to 6 months, but I am very sure that every minute I spend on a beach until very late in the afternoon, I will be spending alone. We currently live on a beach, and we go for walks at 6 PM when the sun is only about half an hour above the horizon. It's very pleasant, but it isn't "a day on the beach".

But get this same woman into the mountains, into a park-like setting, or into a cultured and romantic city, and just try to keep up with her. Toss in good food and good nightlife and she will be the best company you could hope for.

So plan your week together with her thoughts in mind, and do not assume she'll like nothing better than a week on the beach.

#2016-10-30 19:46:38 by good88person @good88person

@JohnAbbot  wrote ........  My wife and I plan on going to Thailand soon, and possibly staying there for anywhere from 3 weeks to 6 months.  ........
Are you in cold Canada or China ?   
If you have been in cold Canada for many months ........
your Chinese "boss wife" will  PROBABLY  be "homesick"
and ........ would  PROBABLY  prefer to spend  MOST of the 6 months in China
........ BUT ........ your Chinese "boss wife" can see that ........  you are  ALL  EXCITED  about a holiday in Thailand
.... so ........ SHE  WILL  NOT  SAY ANYTHING  about  being  HOMESICK  FOR  CHINA ! !
If you want the sun , sea , sand , SAFE  HILLS  with  JUNGLES  with  INTERESTING plant , insects birds , INTERESTING  history
 ......... Sanya on HaiNan island ( Chinese " Hawaii" ) is probably 10 times better better than Thailand
........ because ........ 10 times less prostitutes + 10 times less drunken tourists + 10 times less drugs addicts
+ 10 less likely to get beaten up by a  GANGS  OF  THAI  MEN   who hate  WHITE  MEN  "dating"  ASIAN  women
+ 10 times less crime + 10 times less likely that somebody will spike ( put sleeping drugs ) your drink and rob you  
+  the current situation in Thailand is  UNSTABLE  ( You should talk to your embassy BEFORE travelling to Thailand  ...  
Since your wife can read , write and speak Chinese
... she should be able to get some  BARGAIN  PRICES  for  CHINESE  TOURIST  in Chinese HaiNan !
If you have plenty of  "spare cash"  ........ you can pamper your wife to "Mandarin Oriental Hotel" in Sanya.  
Please look at the  "BETTER than Hawaii"  photos at ........

#2016-10-31 14:07:23 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot



First, excuse my error in the above comment. I meant to say we planned on spending 3 weeks to 6 months in Vietnam, not Thailand. This is a new plan since Thailand seems a little up in the air right now as to how welcome or unwelcome foreigners might be these days.

In response to you, good88person, we do miss China, and on the long term basis, we have a condo in Lijiang that we hope to make our home 6 months of the year every year.

We are not living in Canada and are not missing the cold there at all. I am missing family in Canada quite badly, but not the cold. 

My wife is Chinese born but an Australian citizen and she misses both the Australian climate and family there. Ultimately we hope to divide our time between China, Australia and Canada (summers). Meanwhile we hope to travel substantially every year in the next few years.

Finally, as much as I think I might enjoy Hainan Island, it is far too hot and sunny for my wife, so likely we will pass on that suggestion. But we will travel to other parts of China, and as I say will likely settle part time in Lijiang, which we love very much.

Since you are, if I recall correctly, located in the UK, and have been for a very long time, what are your future plans as to relocating (or not) to China?

#2016-10-31 17:52:44 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


I am SO glad that you clarified your country of intended tourism.



Please STOP SHOUTING! We've asked you before. John has added italics and bold buttons with which you can emphasise your words.

You've been living in the UK long enough to know that WRITING IN CAPITALS is rude, impolite, and horrible!

#2016-11-04 15:58:51 by zqy2014 @zqy2014


Yes I totally agree with that travel together where is away from both homes is a best way to get to know more about each other especial at the beginning stage. It is informative to know more about the other like some of their habits, their sense of responsibility or the way that they have for the other even the societ, if they can treat people respectfully, if they are enough concentrated in your current relationship, if they are a problem or conflict resolver, if they are a caring and cooperative person in the team and their way on spending money. During that period, have better to trust in your feeling and instinct. However, in the middle especially later stage, I would suggest to spend some time in invidiual's home to try to feel how the both get along with each other basing on daily routing life. That could be a way to simulate your future marriage life and could be different as the one that both travel outside together. Basing on this, I don't suggest both get married without that step especial before the lady or man have visited her boyfriend's or girlfriend's home at least once.  That will tell much about the other and the relationship like if the she or he is someone who is sincere, deserved the trust and can be depended emotionally(not financially one). Just my own understanding for reference.


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