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John Abbot is co-owner of ChinaLoveMatch.net. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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Is it Possible to Over Analyze a Cross Cultural Relationship?    

By John Abbot
5025 Views | 16 Comments | 7/16/2014 9:45:35 AM
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(Showing 11 to 16 of 16) Previous 1 2
#2014-07-19 08:57:19 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

@melcyan

Thanks for your sharing.

Although your comments are with short paragraphs but I already have felt your true heart to help me to face my problem and sincerely extend your suggestions.I have to say that all your words include much philosophical meanings......

For talking, as your mentioned, we should only release those important points and too much words will easily mislead to the wrong understanding.Only those people with wisdom and intelligence could present a brief conversation. Maybe I am too much concentrated to myself and blind on such kind person and his conversation.Thanks for reminding!

For your sentence of "So many online daters act as if they are playing a game of “musical chairs”. To overcome this you need to put all thoughts of “missing out” out of your head. " I still can't get its proper or correct point especial the solution part and I am very keen to know how to overcome...?

As for the "relationship" paragraph. I completely agree with you on your words of "The only relationship you are guaranteed to have forever is the one you have with yourself. Make sure it is a good one. Without a good relationship with yourself you are destined to fail in your relationships with others (or at least fail to have a quality relationship with another)." although I am still not very sure how I can do to make a good relationship with myself. It is a lot abstract for me to understand its accurate meaning and how to execute it...Nevertheless, I think I need continuous and deep thinking/feeling on this part during the practice...Thanks for your to present this topic to me!

Basing on above, I really appreciate I could have a chance to read more of your comments or articles here.You are a intelligent guider who was greatly needed here to help us to face ourselves and grow up.I think "discipline ourselves" is one very important continuous course for us to lead to a successful relationship...

Thanks so much for your intelligent sharing..

Have nice weekend,

Lily

#2014-07-19 09:14:12 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

@YinTingYu

Again thanks for your comments. For me, you more like a wisdom and intelligent "old man" in the very remote mountain same like my impression to @melcyan! I really hope you two can give more of your intelligent comments or post your own blogs here!! That will make our website with more positive power and atmosphere!

Thanks for your affirmation and encourage on my self-improvement intention. I know it still has a long way for me to go from the "intention" to the end of "being thought, habit and behavior".... I am also aware only be with the preliminary intention is far more insufficient to achieve the final destination...

Your comments and words made me have much much thinking to myself, this is for sure.I really very appreciated for all you have said and done for me... I just can't express my appreciation to all of you in simple words maybe through my real action...

Thanks again and have a nice weekend!

Lily

#2014-07-19 09:49:17 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

@Barry1

Hi Barry:

Thanks for your suggestion on reading your blog and I can easily imagine you two guys were siting there for those suspensive and humorous conversation!(rofl)...

Once again,I think John may should release a medal of the most humorous guy or "humorous genius". You are absolutely deserved on that tile! I am sure that will definitely to be the biggest attraction to your woman....

Before reading your blog, I never thought you have done so much work and great efforts on searching your woman.I have to say you are so proactive,initiative and passionate person. I am sure you will reach your right one soon! Comparatively, I have to accept I am for passive and lazy in most of the time and should learn from you. Since I am a member here, I have been mostly here....Good example you have made for us..I just can't imagine how you busy you would be and how you manage your time both on chatting with the Chinese female friends and the comments/posts here... I want to say I admire you so much...

Thanks again and have nice weekend.

Lily

#2014-07-19 17:23:22 by Barry1 @Barry1

@zqy2014

"I think John may should release a medal of the most humorous guy or "humorous genius"

Thanks for this Lily, but I actually very much like the humour of @paulfox1

In any case, you have proven to be a very kind, interesting and intelligent person. Thank you so much for your comments and sincere best wishes to you.. (y)

#2014-07-20 13:26:26 by melcyan @melcyan

@zqy2014
Lily

Thank you for your kind words.

Soon my partner and I will be going to the east coast of Australia for a holiday. I will be taking a break from making comments on CLM for about 6 weeks. When I read your comment I wondered if you do “internet searches” on the comments or parts of comments that you do not understand.

I did it for you and I found the following site that may be useful for you to read

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/02/08/12-relationship-truths-we-often-forget

You can also read the following to find out why some of my thinking is “female”.

http://blog.chinalovematch.net/forum/post/HANDLING-THE-BURDENS-OF-LIFE

You should also be able to get an explanation of “musical chairs” with an internet search.

One last comment. A high quality loving relationship requires a lot of hard work but most of the time this “work” feels so good that we don't view the many things we do each day for each other as real work. If you need to keep score of who does what and how often or you continually feel as if you are working hard then there is something wrong with the relationship.

#2014-07-22 15:19:55 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

@melcyan

Hi Melcyan:

Again I am appreciated your kindly attention and deep thinking and all valuable & intelligent suggestion and guidance given to my blog! You are a very helpful person for us.

I do have habit to search hints or answer from internet on questions or confusion. But sometime it is too complicate or strange for me to stick to that habit.
For game of "musical chair" you mentioned here, I guess you may intend to imply most of us are searching the partner due to the shortage.I understand the most important accompany is from ourselves instead of any others like the life partner.Before we are successful on the relationship, we should be well aware of that and try to well treat ourselves and be good friend to ourselves. Nevertheless, it is still a very difficult task to achieve at least I think so and it is my current situation.It is some topic like knowing about ourselves that I am sure I can get more helpful information and guidance on all these through your first link attached here.

Once I click on the 1st link yesterday afternoon, I have been greatly attracted and addicted into so that I have to postpone to reply you by now....All those information is very helpful for me on my self-realization and self-improvements. Thanks so much for your kind intention!

As for your another link, I was mostly impressed by the part of what have happened to your family 20 years ago, how you survive from that grief on sudden lost of your wife, how you raise your four children by yourself, how you feel heartfelt & great appreciation to your mother on all her sacrifice to raise you and how you help the other member here.. From all these, I have got a rough portrait about you. You are absolutely a great lover, father, son and spiritual tutor... You absolutely deserve a true lover, harmony family and happy life! Congratulations!

Happy vacation and look forward to reading more of your comments or blogs here.

Thanks for sharing again.

Lily

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