Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Neil Yaun prides himself on knowing a little about everything, despite no formal college education. He is self-educated, with a love of Chinese culture focused on their history and traditions. Growing disillusioned with the direction America is taking and his negative experiences with American women he is seeking a new path in China. He plans to teach English in China. This blog is about the journey to China and all the pitfalls along the way.
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Is There Really Such a Thing as Too Positive?    

By Neil Yaun
2172 Views | 0 Comments | 5/23/2010 10:37:51 PM

This tree seems to be able to weather the storm. I hope I can as well.

I suppose I am the endless optimist in the mist of the realists. I don’t know why, but I have always looked on the bright side of dark situations and can always see the positive nature of even the worst events. Maybe, this is a very bad flaw to have and I should let go of this shiny happy attitude. I feel however, that this attitude is what has allowed me to succeed in life and to achieve all that is opening up before me now. It has been my ability to adapt to the negative changes around me. My father once told me an ancient Chinese proverb, “He who bends with the wind shall weather the storm, but he who stands like a wall will surely crumble.” I never did find out if this is a true Chinese proverb but it seemed like good advice and I still follow it to this day.

I have had personal experience with other Cultures that bear a striking resemblance to Chinese culture and have had a lot of success with adapting to our differences of opinion and beliefs. It is through this adaptation and adjusting my own thinking that I learned to respect other cultures at all. Here in America we are too caught up in being American to understand there is an entire world out there that is not America and doesn’t believe as we do. I will go into further details with my adventures in another culture in a later post, but suffice to say to this point that I know all about family togetherness and our difference in opinions.

So where does that leave us guys who have the opinion that you can win over a family that thinks that you are a “Gui Lao”? Well I think it leaves us in a place where we have to be willing to bend with the wind instead of standing behind the wall of our own beliefs because we must be willing to be open to all options and at least attempt to understand what is going on around us, whether that be in a political climate or a family environment. I’ve spent my whole life being told I was silly for having the beliefs that I have. “Get real” is the slang phrase I would hear most. I am real, very real indeed. It is because I have the belief in a better tomorrow that I know that where I am is not the place to be.

I know that the place for me to go is China, the Middle Kingdom, the world between heaven and earth. I am not diluted into thinking that I will win over the entire country or that I can even win over her entire family, but I am willing to adapt and learn from her culture. That is where I will succeed. That is where my positive attitude makes all the difference. Now I will borrow from Li Xiaolong and if you don’t know who Li Xiaolong is you should be ashamed of yourself being on a Chinese dating website and not knowing who he is. Where was I? Oh yeah, Li Xiaolong once said. “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you will find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, then things around you will disclose themselves. Empty your mind; be formless, shapeless like water. If you pour water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water in a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”

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