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Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Is She My Type - Part 6 - No, Part 7 a little early ! - For the Love of Money    

By Paul Fox
6995 Views | 26 Comments | 12/31/2013 2:31:29 PM
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(Showing 11 to 20 of 26) Previous 1 2 3 More...
#2014-01-01 21:33:13 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

@RambinMan RM, I must ask you, based on your scathing comments to Paul, how much time have you spent "on the ground" in China?

It is easy to condemn Paul for making rude generalizations in this series, but any Western guy who has been to China for more than just brief tourist trips will have run into most or all of the women he describes. We love Chinese women. We have decided we prefer them over the rest of the worlds fairer sex or we wouldnt be on this site. We all know there are good and and bad women in every country and everyone doesnt conform to a certain stereotype but that doesn't mean there is not a TON of truth running this series of blog articles.

This one in particular is pure fact. I have met these women as I go to China for work and the Chinese bossses and managers who take me out for dinner and drinks and entertainment have taken me to many a KTV joint. I have a lotof fun drinking and playing dice with the girls. I always treat them very well, not like some kind of prostitute and n return we have fun laughing, singing bad karaoke and drinking. Then I tip them well and go home alone, though one or two have met me later to show me good places to go shopping and bargain for me so I don't get fleeced like a tourist. I can assure you Paul's being fair and honest here.

#2014-01-03 01:55:26 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Thank you @anonymouth for backing me uo here
I do not want to offend RM here ( although I think he is a dick-head and is probably being quite insolar) - but he called me a "sad old man" and I guess that makes you a sad old man too ?
Faced with a choice of a fun night in a KTV bar or sitting in my hotel room dreaming of rose petals and fluffy bunny rabbits - I guess there is a "no contest" - no matter how "traditional" you may be .....

#2014-01-03 13:51:35 by anonymous8607 @anonymous8607

these girls are mostly ESFP personality types, the natural ones

https://www.personalitypage.com/ESFP.html
https://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESFP_car.html
https://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESFP_rel.html

they are not bad, can be psycho sometimes, but hey, everyone is a psycho too in their own ways.

#2014-01-04 01:47:18 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

@paulfox1

Lmao... Paul, its too bad theres no guys only channel where we could safely compare stories! Haha im sure fluffy bunny boy would have to be excluded too for his own emotional well being. ..but I have some great, stories from my earlier trips before I started to settle down, and I so agree with you. A fun time out drinking and dicing with (bad) girls and kTV girls definitely beats sitting up alone all night, unable to sleep from jetlag, watching chinese infomercials about water push up bras that magically create cleavage because theres no English TV.

...and I would certainly NEVER have foud all the cool little locals only bars and restaurants Ive been to and probably would be so much worse at speaking Chinese without their help and guidance.

Its a shame so many poor girls must resort to this to make a living, but they arent all bad people and sometimes they will be the only English speaking option for desperately needed social interaction outside of your work circle (which is not really a free environment... Corporate spies are everywhere.) when you are new to China and dont know anyone or enough Chinese to get around without handlers.

#2014-01-04 15:52:59 by RambinMan @RambinMan

@Barry1
"That is, UNTIL you attempted the cheap shot of referring to Paul's appearance - and then laughed.“
I did not intend to be critical of Paul’s appearance, only of the photo with the oddly placed hand. It was a poor attempt to add some levity. I apologize for that misunderstanding.

@Anonymouth
"It is easy to condemn Paul for making rude generalizations in this series”
So you agree they are rude generalizations. Thank you.

"I have met these women as I go to China”
And I met a rude Canadian once. Does that prove anything to you?

@paulfox1
"Firstly my friend, YOU do the maths. I am not talking about 450million women - “
Ok, I will concede some magnitudes in the math to you. But the larger point remains the same. You draw gross generalizations from an insignificant sample size.

"I do not want to offend RM here ( although I think he is a dick-head and is probably being quite insolar) - but he called me a "sad old man" and I guess “
I think you DO want to offend me! Ha!
I do not know you personally but you fit my SOM stereotype. You do not like to be stereotyped?

"either I am writing them wrongly or you are reading them wrongly - but judging by other members' comments, I guess it is the latter”
You draw another bad conclusion from a tiny sample of comments. I think you delude yourself.
When you describe your personal stereotypes, of course, some will agree with you. That is how stereotypes are reinforced. Most will choose to ignore.
Furthermore, you claim a magnanimous motive to save some poor soul from making "the biggest mistake of his life”.
Sorry but I don’t see it. Your writing is void of any insight. What do you offer that poor soul?

"Thank you for your comments. I am sorry that you find my articles here "offensive" - perhaps you should not read them in future? “
I agree. You may continue your juvenile banter without further comment from me.

Good luck to all.
Thank you CLM.
RM

#2014-01-05 10:27:44 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@RambinMan
I really do not understand your point RM. If you decide not to read this, that is your choice - but at least others who have commented here will see that I am not quite as "shallow" as you make out
Anonymouth was not saying my comments were rude generalizations, he was not agreeing with you - you took his words out of context in the same way yoou have failed to understand the whole context of the blogs (and photo) that you have been slagging off

You call me a SOM (sad old man) - stereotype - right ? Yet you condemn me for the same thing
I am certainly not SAD and I am certainly not an "OLD MAN" - you are 8 years my senior so if I am old, then you are even more so
I take your SOM comment to be a HUGE PERSONAL INSULT - and although these forums are designed for voicing opinions, I do believe that insulting people is not contributing anything at all and just makes the person making the insult look like a complete dick-head (as I previously stated)

With respect to "save some poor soul from making "the biggest mistake of his life”. - I am referring to the whole SERIES of blogs and not only this one
A HUGE percentage of male members on this site have never set foot in China - yet!

As with any other country in the world, there are scammers in China and many people want to try and take advantage of the "new kid in town"
There is an old saying - "LEARN BY OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES - YOU CANNOT LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM ALL YOURSELF!"

So if that is my motive and that is the reason you chastise me the way you do, then I am sorry friend, but it is YOU who is the SOM !

#2014-01-05 12:07:23 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

@RambinMan you didnt answer my question about how much time you have spent in China...

Also I did not say that I agree with you, only that its easy for you to sit there making comments and being judgemental from a personally uniformed place and say his generalizations are rude and incorrect, but if you go to China and spend any real time there working or otherwise spend more time than the typical tourist you will find this blog series is actually spot on.

When I say I have met these women, I did not mean i bumped into one person bearing a vague resemblance to something in Pauls blog. I mean I have met many women in China who fall solidly into most of his described types. Enough to prove to me that Paul knows what he's talking about. My first hand China experience leads me to the very strong notion that Paul has had most of those same experiences and is speaking from solid personal knowledge. He has given us a run down of his China time. Mine is similar. I have been traveling to China, as a footwear designer and line builder, four to eight times a year for two to three weeks, once for a straight month, since 2002. I also had an apartment in Guangzhou for a year. I can back up Paul's descriptions. They might not be all PC but they certainly are accurate.

#2014-01-05 14:26:20 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@paulfox1
@RambinMan
@Barry1
@Anonymouth
and to everyone else:

First, we went through a pretty serious round once before where one member (anonymously) took some pretty insulting shots at one of our bloggers and I let them through (approved them). I did so frankly because I wanted to respond to them myself, but I also knew this blogger to be very capable of defending himself, so I wanted to give him the first chance to blast the villain before I did.

To my surprise the blogger was incensed that I allowed the insults to be made and was extremely angry with me. Although my intentions were good, in hindsight I felt he was right and we then developed the policy that any comments that are gross personal insults, especially made anonymously, would not be approved. And we do now disapprove comments we feel are overly insulting, especially if they serve no purpose other than to insult (they offer no redeeming thoughts on the subject matter) and especially if they are made anonymously.

However, that becomes a difficult issue to assess, and sometimes something apparently insulting is allowed to pass if the comment overall presents an alternate point of view that is worthy of consideration. Approving something that might be perceived as insulting can be the start down a slippery slope as counter-insults, and then counter-counter-insults pile up, one upon the other seemingly endlessly.

We seem to be sliding down that slippery slope in the here and now don't we?

Let me say this Paul; having forewarned everyone reading this series repeatedly that you're aware the content is somewhat inflammatory and there's likely to be a bit of an angry backlash, I don't think you (or Barry1 or Anonymouth on your behalf) should be too surprised that included in that backlash is the occasional word spoken in anger.

In his defense, RamblinMan was obviously feeling insulted on behalf of Chinese women and I'm sure in his mind he was counter-insulting you, giving you what he perceived to be a taste of your own medicine. And in doing so he at least did not hide behind anonymity (this is not a shot at Anonymouth, since we all know who he is by virtue his own frequent revelations).

Was he right to feel this way on behalf of Chinese women? Probably not. Most of the Chinese women who have commented have recognized that you are generalizing, and have acknowledged that there surely must be some women who fit your described types. I am reading your blogs and I sense that your intentions are good, and that you aren't insulting Chinese women generally, you're simply warning new men to Chinese dating of some types to look out for.

But to be fair that isn't what I was expecting when the series started, and to me it isn't difficult to understand how someone might not sense that even now. Here's where I think there's a problem.

Maybe I wasn't reading carefully enough at the beginning but I confess that when you started this series about 6 types of Chinese women one might meet on ChinaLoveMatch.net (or other Chinese dating sites) I assumed that list was going to be all inclusive. In other words, I thought that the 6 types (now become 7 types) would include 100% of Chinese women to be found on dating sites.

If that was your intention (and I am now assuming it wasn't but IF it was) then in my opinion your type number 7 coming up is going to have to encompass a great many Chinese women, and somehow they are all going to be fantastic women, lovers, mothers, friends, wives and soulmates, all lumped into that one last category or type. Because so far, I would have to say that the 6 types you've described make up about 15% (more or less) of the women who inhabit CLM.

Obviously not everyone made the mistake I did because pretty clearly Anonymouth understands that you are just listing types of women that do exist and that western men really should be prepared to deal with and that you are not trying to describe all Chinese women. He can't believe you're describing all Chinese women, or if he does, he is incredibly confident that his beloved falls within the upcoming type yet to be described.

So again, in his defense, if RamblinMan is operating under the same misunderstanding I was initially, one can't help but see why he might rightfully be feeling a little pissed off about now.

I am hoping that this may explain the rather deep differences in opinion being rendered about your blogs, and RamblinMan is not alone, there are a few comments that have not been published in which members are clearly incensed at what they perceive to be your "dislike" of Chinese women, but those comments have been insults without any form of discussion included.

So RamblinMan, I hope that gives you a different sense of Paul's purpose and you won't give up on Paul's blog series, but will instead read it again with a revised understanding of where he is coming from. Instead of thinking that Paul is trying to sum up all Chinese women as fitting into the 7 types he's describing (and he did actually favor one type but she still seemed like a tiny minority as I understood her) understand that he is only trying to forewarn us about 7 types that make up a small portion of the total. I'm not sure what percentage Paul thinks they make up of the total, but assuming that type 7 is a similarly sized group as the other 6, then in my opinion at least they make up about 20% or less of the total.

Since that fits in with my general feelings abut humanity as a whole; that about 80% are "good" and 20% are "bad", I can't argue with it.

Paul, if I am mistaken and you do mean the 7 types of Chinese women you are describing make up the totality of Chinese women, or even of Chinese women on Chinese dating sites, please enlighten me now and please do get on with your type 7 who surely must be an angel of the highest order ;)

#2014-01-05 19:07:42 by anonymous8631 @anonymous8631

我是Anonymouth的未婚妻! 我告诉我未婚夫不许再写任何评论! 因为博客只是让东方西方彼此了解对方而不是争吵的地方!
人类是世界上最复杂也是最简单的动物!不是写几个类型那么简单! 我是中国女性但是我无法做到了解中国女性! 请尊重彼此!
请终止无谓的争吵! 这里是寻找爱的地方!
@paul很抱歉! 我不是你描述的任何类型!如果只是这7个类型!对不起! 请别侮辱中国女人的智慧!

#2014-01-06 01:34:17 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

@paulfox1
@Rambinman
@barry1
@JohnAbbot

It is my understanding of Paul's blog that he is cataloging SOME of the types of women that a Western man will meet, not necesarily on CLM, but when he travels around or works in or otherwise goes to China. They exist as a relatively small percentage of the total population, but seem to be inordinately focused around the geographic regions and specific localities that expat and foreign visiting men will tend to find themselves. Ie, I have met many of these types in Shenzhen and Guangzhou expat aeas. I have stated in a few places in other responses that an easy way to avoid the less desirable types of Chinese women seeking Western men is to avoid looking for dates in places where you see more than one other Westerner for example if you are in an expat bar you will surely find this is where the green card seeking ladies are going to be trolling for lucky bacchelors, but you will be much less likely to find them and far more able to meet good (normal. If there is such a thing) Chinese women if you go to a nice food street where few Westerners eat.

I found, through my travels in China, that I am quite enamored with Chinese women. Every time I went back home after another two to three weeks working with many interesting and attractive, sweet, intelligent and soo feminine women, In the footwear factories and vendors offices I work with, that women back home just no longer interested me at all. They couldn't even compete on the same field, the few that could of course were already married and nobody in their right mind will let such a woman go.

Obviously for me to feel this way I must have found more than one type of Chinese woman who I like. If I thought obly one 7th of all Chinese women was worth talking to Id be on LLM.. Latina Love Match or somewhere else meeting beautiful, dark haired women of another culture.

I was hoping that this blog series would be a little more evenly split between the good styles and "bad" styles. The first style I met that made me think hmmm maybe there is something more than good looks to these Chinese girls checking into is the FGMG.. The Factory Girl Made Good... In the Southern Chinese softgoods factory areas there are MILLIONS upon millions of Chinese girls who have packed up and moved across country from small villages or secondary cities to some of the.biggest cities in the world in search of jobs and a better life. Some run sewing machines and put one part on a. Ircuit board all day. But some manage to rise to the top of a sea of other girls based only on their own abilities to become low level managers or run sample rooms, they learn English and become the Iiason for Western companies doing product development work with their factory etc. Some have been to school and hold higher positions. But they were all raised out in the boonies and bring whatever it is about small town girls come to the big city.. A naivety mixed with the uncertain self confidence but still brave enough or optimistic enough to take that leap all on their own and then fight their way up to succeed. Its hard to put a finger on exactly what it is, but I like it. Most of them have had their eyes opened and preconceived notions of the world challenged and they are interested in learning more, seeing more, experiencing more. They are interested in what there is to see and do outside of China. These women havent been described (yet?) But thats just one style I like and havent read about.

My "beloved" is a bit like the non deaperate housewife.. But shes never been a housewife.. She does own her own home. She started college but quit to work (hard) and put her sister through school. When her father died she became the family boss and it was her responsibility to care for her mother, sister.. Etc. she owns her home outright.. She is closed with all men (and finds it hard to trust them having been lied to like i mentioned and also faced a lot of sexual harrassment due to her looks and height) but very open with me and while she was lied to and has a son from a man who was supposed to marry her.. He had another wife... She had very little experience with love (i taught her to kiss) but still wants this in her life and she is honest with me, she cares about my feelings and my health but doesnt nag me about it, she thinks a man who will give her his time is far more important than a man who will give her his assets. Which is good because I have a lot more time than assets. Shes amazing, beautiful (and she knows it, LOL) but she doesnt act like it, the other men who read this must certainly know this is the rarest of rare qualities...I have never met another woman like her... Maybe she is the only one of her very own style.. She has a big full mouth smile that shows more teeth than Chinese people think is correct for a woman, LOL but Wesyerners love!!! She hasn't really been described here. She only halfway conforms to Not Desperate Housewife... Shes never been one, her mom lives in her home and is a "housewife", shes never lived with a man before. She might think she is losing face by me saying these things but I couldn't possibly have found a better women or feel more lucky to have her.. So if thats not a face "increaser" I dont know what else to say.

There are a lot of great women out there who are much too complex creatures to ever fit neatly into a cookie cutter type. They aren't being described here as it would be impossible except by her own guy who loves her and truly knows her.. I enjoy this blog series.. For what it is, I was hoping to see it be more of an equal split. Still, I thought Paul did a very good job of being fair to the type six women. He did not condemn them for their choices. Many people will automatically assume if you describe a KTV or bar girl that you are talking about "bad" women... But he in fact gave a very objective and fact based description of the KTV experience (matching mine) without judgement and then stated that he had made friends of some of the girls who do this and they were fun to hang out with and have helped him outside of the KTV world. So where is the animosity over this coming from?

No, Paul is not describing every woman in China as one of seven types.. He's leaving MOST of them out, unless he has the super type comng next in a MASSIVE blog update that will take days to read.. but the types hes described are true. Maybe Paul has more "negative" types because his experience thus far is lacking in really positive relationships with Chinese women. He knows those women are out there but he hasn't dated them yet himself.. Or maybe he'd be married or engaged already.. And this is just a list of the types he's found but not ended up married to for whatever reason... He does state in several places that this is all based on ONE MAN's EXPERIENCE..

LOL, one reason I defend him is that I could have written this. Of course my style of writing is different, but its more obvious to me with each post he makes that he and I have shared a lot of experinces due to quite similar types of work at least as it applies to what we do in and how we go to China. If I seem more optimistic, its either because Im an American ( hahha, just kidding.. Or am I?) or because I already found the love of my life here so I know how my journey ends... Maybe it is just easier to generalize the bad ones whereas the good women all over CLM and China are just too unique, each with her own story that made her who she is and how she is as a person. Maybe I should just write my own blog as I really do like to talk too much. Maybe its just easier to let others offer me up a topic and then give you all my very own assinine opinions packaged up in 8+ long exessively verbose paragraphs... Either way, cant we all just get along???

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