Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Is She My Type - Part 6 - No, Part 7 a little early ! - For the Love of Money    

By Paul Fox
6961 Views | 26 Comments | 12/31/2013 2:31:29 PM

A man lay in bed on his wedding night with his new bride. She turned to him and said - "darling, there is something I should tell you about my past". The man smiled at her sweetly and said "Honey, you can tell me anything". "I used to be a hooker" she said. 

"Baby, the past is the past and is not important now, it is only our future together that matters. I don't mind that you used to be a hooker, but I do hope that it was not in this neighbourhood, I would hate to feel embarrassed". 

"No honey, I used to play for the New Zealand All Blacks"

Throughout this series of blog articles there has always been 6 "types" of women that I had intended to write about. Then came another type - "Type 7" - The KTV (Bar) Girl

Before you think I have lost my senses and missed off type 6, I have decided to leave Type 6 until last and slip in type 7 right now instead of later. So type 6 becomes type 7 and type 7 becomes type 6 - Oh, who cares ?

This is a hugely contentious subject that would fill a book - not just a blog article - but nevertheless, I find it a very interesting subject also.

This whole series of blogs is about types of women you are likely to come across on China Love Match, but while you are certainly not likely to come across a working bar-girl on Chinese dating sites, it is POSSIBLE that you could meet an EX Bar-Girl and if you did, you would probably never know it.

They have their "place" in Chinese society - loved by Chinese men for their "openness" and for what could possibly be described as a willingness to enjoy life the way they do, yet generally hated by more "traditional" Chinese women for exactly the same reasons.

Like most countries in the world, prostitution is illegal in China, but like ALL countries in the world, prostitutes only exist because there are people out there who want to make use of their services - and like any other kind of "product or service" it is just a simple case of supply and demand!  They say it is the oldest profession in the world - and as it still exists today, there really is no point at all in discussing it's "rights or wrongs" - we just accept that it just...... IS !

Incidentally, as I am sometimes renowned for being a mine of totally useless information, did you know that apart from Human Beings, there is only ONE other species on the whole planet that has sex purely for enjoyment (as opposed to pro-creation), and unless you know what species it is already, you would probably never guess it in the proverbial million years.... It is the DOLPHIN ! (bet you can't wait for that to come up in "Quiz Night" in your local bar now, can you ?)

I recently saw a BBC documentary where a female dolphin was literally "gang-raped" by a group of male dolphins - interesting program in a weird kind of way....!

Anyway, back to the job in hand -  and for the totally China-un-itiated person reading this drivel, let me first explain what a KTV bar is. - Quite simply it's a Karaoke Bar, and probably THE most popular form of entertainment throughout the country - there are literally thousands of them !

There are essentially 2 main types of KTV bar in China. Firstly the "family" kind. A building with lots of rooms that each have a Karaoke TV system, comfortable seating and total privacy so that each "party" can enjoy themselves. There is usually a shop in the foyer where you can buy all your drinks and nibbles to take to your designated KTV room

This is the KTV bar that you can take your kids to.

The second type of KTV bar is one you would NEVER take your kids to and is usually found in a hotel. A whole floor (or more) is dedicated to the KTV "Nightclub" with elegant, expensively decorated rooms and corridors that are literally dripping in "bling".

So off you go, with your friends and as you sit down in the plush seats, it is not long before a small army of uniformed "beauties" are escorted into your KTV room for your choosing. If you have never been before then be prepared to sit with your jaw dropped for a few seconds as you contemplate.

My friend once likened his first experience to a kid being locked in a candy store and then told he could only choose ONE candy bar! - lol

It does have certain "merits" - 5 guys together in a KTV bar can obviously chat and have fun together - but if each guy chooses a girl to join him, then there are now 10 people and you have the makings of a PARTY!

Just how far you "go" with these girls is dependent on a couple of deciding factors, namely...

1) What your own wishes/intentions are

2) Whether or not the girl is prepared to leave the KTV and accompany you to your hotel room (they are not ALL hookers!)

Coloured uniforms usually dictate their price and the position of their number-badge on their clothing, (they often wear a number - on their chest or much lower down below their waist) is usually an indicator as to whether they are simply there to drink with you, or are "available" for the evening should you decide to take full advantage of what is on offer.

Each girl has a "boss", a "madam" if you like, in China they are referred to as a "mamasan". These women usually wear a black uniform and she will lead the girls into your KTV room before trying her best to get you to take one of "her girls" (after all, she earns commission from each girl who gets "chosen" for the evening)

Prices vary dramatically from city to city but usually come as a choice of 3 "prices". To use an example, let's say RMB300, RMB700, RMB1200

300 is for the girl to spend the duration in your KTV room as your "host". She will pour your drinks, sing songs with you and play games. When you are ready to leave, she will head home.

700 is for the duration of the evening in the KTV room (as above), and then back to your hotel room for an hour or two

1200 is as above. but she will stay with you all night and then usually go home after breakfast the next day

The girls who are not hookers will only allow you to take the first option (RMB300 in this example)

Those that do "ply their trade" and are willing to spend the night with you appear to be fairly "self-regulated" insofar as they work in the same hotel each night, you more than likely have their mamasan's name card etc, so it is highly unlikely that you will wake in the morning to find your laptop and wallet gone, along with her - I never heard of anything like this happening yet

But having spent many an evening with friends in KTV bars over the last few years, I could certainly tell you stories that would make your hair curl (but maybe not here - lol) and although I reckon I must have just about "seen it all", personally I have never paid a woman for sex and I never intend to do so. That said, it does not prevent me from occasionally enjoying the company of a young girl in a KTV bar to share a few drinks with.

Handled correctly, you can have a lot of fun with some of these girls and personal experience has shown me that if there is no INTENTION whatsoever to have sex with your chosen girl later in the evening, she will often relax a little more and you will possibly enjoy her company even more so.

I have one such KTV girl that I met a couple of years ago. She's only a "kid" and was just 20 years old when I first met her. She speaks no English at all (and is too lazy to learn). She is also not the most beautiful girl in China, but she is a complete "nutcase"! Great fun to be with and is always the life-and-soul of any KTV party. The RMB300 that I give to her on the occasions I call her up and get her to head over to our KTV room is worth every cent in my opinion - she is just good fun! - and as far as I am concerned, FUN is what it is all about! I sometimes call her a little early and perhaps ask her to join us for dinner before going off to the KTV room. She has become a reliable "friend" and I don't judge her for what she does (or won't do)

I remember one night in DongGuan I was invited to a KTV party by a wealthy business owner. I was in China with a western friend helping him to source some products for a house that he was building. As the girls were paraded into the KTV room, I was simply not impressed with any of them, yet the wealthy business owner was insistent that I choose one. He was paying a rather expensive bill that night and I did not want to "offend" his hospitality so in an effort to "keep face" I sent a text message to my little KTV friend and asked if she was busy. She wasn't and within 20 minutes she came bouncing into our KTV room with a big beaming smile on her face. This was enough to "impress" the wealthy business owner and calm his insistence that I choose one of the hotel girls. We all had a great night and at midnight my little friend went home happy that she had earned her RMB300 and I went to my hotel room alone. No harm done!

It is  quite common for a factory boss or business owner to take his potential customers to a KTV bar - all expenses paid - in an effort to get their custom! Watch him as he chooses from the most expensive girls - not for their beauty, but his need to impress you will ensure that he does not select one of the less expensive girls.

He also may insist that you select more than one girl (especially if he is paying - and I perhaps should point out that should you find yourself in this situation, the factory boss will generally ONLY pay the girls "sitting fee" - in other words he will pay for her time INSIDE the KTV room with you. If you decide that you want to take her to your hotel room then that is your own business and you would be expected to pay the extra costs involved)

We all know that China has a huge population, but to give you a snapshot of the sheer scale of this, let me tell you about one small town in Dongguan.

Dongguan itself is quite a big city and it lies a little to the north of Shenzhen, in between Shenzhen and Guangzhou. Known as perhaps the "sex capital of China", young girls from all over the country head there to "work"

One area of Dongguan has more than 40 KTV bars with as many as 600 girls "working" in each one (especially on a weekend). So potentially the "discerning playboy" has literally 1000's of girls to choose from on a Saturday night!

If a girl goes to "work" and is not "chosen" by a male customer, quite simply she earns no money and goes home empty-handed that night

Dongguan is a "Mecca" for Hong Kong people, Singaporean, Malaysian as well as a few Western men. I have a friend from the USA who goes there several times each year simply to "play with the girls"

So apart from the obvious social side of their "work" -  WHY do they do it ?

As a generalization, most girls are at their prettiest between the ages of say 20 and 30, so it comes as no surprise that this is the general age bracket of the KTV girl. Some of these KTV girls are absolutely stunning, others.....downright ugly.....yet they all seem to make a "living" from what they do - probably because there are so many men that are prepared to pay for their services. Decrepit old guys who are so naive and have so much vanity that they kid themselves that the beautiful young Chinese girl on their arm actually LIKES THEM - It keeps them happy, but wake up guys.... the only "size" she is interested in is the size of your WALLET!

I may have mentioned before that I met an old Canadian in a hotel restaurant during breakfast one morning. He had been staying in the same hotel for 2 weeks and had had the same girl every night. He was totally convinced that she "loved him" and he was about to go home and tell his wife that he was leaving her for this young and beautiful Chinese girl. He was totally delusional! - Meanwhile she was banking all his hard-earned cash and moving on to the next guy without a single thought for him

Anyway, I digress........

If we said that a "livable wage" in China is say RMB5000 per month, it is perhaps easy to see the "attraction" insofar as the more beautiful girls could earn that amount in a few days (well, nights really - lol)

I think that only a prostitute could tell you HOW they manage to simply "switch-off" when they are having sex with a fat, ugly, aged man, but to my mind it just about the money.

I know for a fact that I could NEVER have sex with a woman unless I was attracted to her, yet some of these girls must be physically repulsed from time to time and yet still manage it.

These girls will often travel from their home town to work in KTV bars. The idea being that they can potentially earn a lot of money in a few short years (while they are still young and beautiful) before returning to their home town, perhaps to get married and settle down - their husband being totally unaware of the kind of girl he has married.

Her family and friends simply think she has been working away for a few years, perhaps in a shop or a factory - (working away from a persons home town is hugely popular in China and is the reason why the Spring Festival is technically the biggest annual migration in the world, as workers from all industries head back to their home town for the holiday)

So although you are not likely to meet a KTV girl on CLM, as I said before.... it is POTENTIALLY POSSIBLE that you could meet an EX-KTV girl - and unless she tells you herself, you will never, ever know!

This is a rare occasion when Actions DO NOT Speak Louder Than Words

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2013-12-31 15:15:44 by anonymous8569 @anonymous8569

Finally, the topic I was waiting for! However, you only lightly touched on this topic. Yes, there are the KTV/prostitute types of women...but then there are also "bar girls" who are average working women who frequent bars with expats in it and sleep with every Tom, Dick, and Harry they come across. I think you should have mentioned these women as well.

This is extremely scary for guys who want to settle down with a decent woman. They have NO idea what they are getting. Your innocent bride-to-be could have had so many men in her past it would make your head spin. Frightening!

#2013-12-31 15:58:12 by bmccull @bmccull

I think you greatly underestimate the number of KTV girls.

#2013-12-31 20:00:49 by anonymous8574 @anonymous8574

(It's a old China hand. In fact, it is said that "sex" in China, dongguan in the mix of female of, should be on the "special services (service)" make money. Regardless of 300700120, only to win "business", not in business to give different judgment, is of the same type to be "special services" to make the woman of the life. Born in rural poverty in the majority of the family.)

#2013-12-31 20:01:44 by zhshwu @zhshwu

Seems to be yes.

#2014-01-01 02:44:09 by JianadaYangGuizi @JianadaYangGuizi

I recommend staying out of trouble while in China. It is easy to avoid but just as easy to find.

I have been sipping a beer when several police stormed into a quiet little bar with guns in the air yelling something in Chinese which I am quite certain was not "Ni hao ma?".

That being said, if you are travelling alone and going stir crazy, you can have fun going to little bars with a pool table. There might be one or two bar girls there but you don't have pay anything to have a pleasant conversation with them. Perhaps if you talk for awhile they will want you to buy them a drink but certainly you are not expected to take them home just because you use the pool table or wander in to have quench your thirst.

I personally would never pay for sex for many different reasons but the most important one being that I want mutual passion for each other and not a business deal.

#2014-01-01 11:43:21 by RambinMan @RambinMan

Sorry but I think you are an Arrogant Sad Old Man, or just ASOM for short

Sorry to be so harsh but your generalizations are preposterous.
Are you so foolish to believe that they are anything but your personal stereotypes.
Among a population of 450 million woman, you draw from a sample of prpbably less than 0.0002%.
Do the math.
Your writing does nothing to add to the discussion of multicultural relationships.
It is more on the level of school boys locker room talk.

Furthermore you encourage stereotyping which is always rude as nobody likes to be stereotyped.
Everyone is unique. (I think you are as well considering your photo. Ha.)

I can appreciate that some may find your writing comedic but no one should
attempt to draw any real knowledge from it and it is offensive to many.

Or perhaps I am being too traditional.

#2014-01-01 18:00:57 by Barry1 @Barry1


"I know for a fact that I could NEVER have sex with a woman unless I was attracted to her, yet some of these girls must be physically repulsed from time to time and yet still manage it."

Thanks for another entertaining and informative article, Paul. I had never fully realised what a KTV girl did till now.

As far as your comments above go, the essential differences between a man and a woman during sex are such that all a woman basically needs to do is to lie there. But for a man to have sex (assuming he hasn't popped a viagra pill), he needs to be at least a little aroused in order to become physiologically ready.

This is why it's so much easier for women to ply their trade in this area. They lie back, maybe add a touch of lubricant, express a few moans or groans here or there as appropriate, then wait for the guy to finish. Simple.

As far as being physically repulsed by an ugly man, with a little practice, these ladies would have personalised techniques to compensate for this, such as mentally substituting the man's face for someone they like. No big deal, as long as he didn't have pervasive body odor or overpowering halitosis, in which case, the ladies would really earn their money!

As for your anecdote about the Canadian who foolishly believed the girl he was with each night actually loved him, the words, "there's no fool, like an old fool" come to mind. I'm sure that if given the opportunity, you'd have solicitously passed onto him the benefit of your expansive wisdom and experience here, in order to help set him on the right path.

Perhaps I can in return share an anecdote with you?

I was doing a DJ job one night for a bunch of people who were predominantly ladies aged thirty to fifty.

About three quarters of the way through the night, a forty something lady approached me as I was busily playing music and asked, "Do you want to have a root with me tonight?"

Somewhat taken aback, I tried to explain to her that I was a married man.

"I don't see a wedding band on your finger?" was her curt reply. True enough, I hate rings, thus never wore one.

As we kept chatting, her hand reached under the console where I was sitting and underneath the tablecloth, she began massaging my thigh, right up to my groin area!

I kept politely deferring and demurring however, so after a while, she eventually left, saying to me,

"Let me know if you change your mind!", which of course, I did not do.

Reflecting upon it afterwards, as much as anything, I hadn't been impressed by the use of her words. Instead of asking me quite bluntly, "Would you like a root?", had she been a little more tactful by saying something like, "Would you like to come back to my place after your job tonight so we can make love?", the odds of receiving a positive response would've been better. To my dear Chinese lady friends here reading this, please be assured I still would've have said no, of course!

Ahh, the life of a DJ. Sometimes it's an interesting one! 8)

#2014-01-01 18:30:09 by Barry1 @Barry1


"Everyone is unique. (I think you are as well considering your photo. Ha.)"

Hello Rambin Man.

Your comments were quite valid in many ways, even though they may or may not have been necessarily correct - and I was enjoying reading them.

That is, UNTIL you attempted the cheap shot of referring to Paul's appearance - and then laughed.

I take objection to this. Play the ball, not the man. There's no need whatsoever to become personal on this website.

The ironic part of it is you also said,

"stereotyping which is always rude"

I put it to you that laughing about someone's appearance is also rude. So in attempting to denigrate Paul, you've committed the same alleged offense that you were whinging about - that of being rude! (n)

#2014-01-01 18:33:35 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Thank you for your comments. I am sorry that you find my articles here "offensive" - perhaps you should not read them in future?
Firstly my friend, YOU do the maths. I am not talking about 450million women - I am talking about the TYPES of women that a person is likely to find on a Chinese dating site and I am sure that a huge percentage of your 450million women are not members
As for "stereotyping" - yes, of course no-one likes to be stereotyped, but if youo haven't realised by now that my articles are written "GENERALLY", are based on my OWN experiences and are somewhat "tongue-in-cheek", then either I am writing them wrongly or you are reading them wrongly - but judging by other members' comments, I guess it is the latter
As for my photo (which is cropped by the way), I fail to understand your meaning "Ha"
Live and let live RM - if my drivel prevents just ONE member from making perhaps the biggest mistake of his life then in my opinion it was well worth writing!
Maybe you ARE being a little too "traditional"
It has been said already that the Forum and Blogs are what sets this site apart from the rest and members are welcome to voice their opinions, good or bad
Maybe in your "world" you would prefer it to be all "Rose petals and fluffy bunnies"?

There is a REAL WORLD outside - get used to it !

#2014-01-01 20:15:32 by yeranyi @yeranyi

I dont know "Dong guan" is a "sex capital of China" until i read your blog...

To my surprise,you have tooo much experience with difirent women .....!!!

So, many chinese women keep a distance with those westerns who play games in China很多中国女的,对在中国的老外敬而远之。

Haha ,quote the saying :Or perhaps I am being too traditional.

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