Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Is She My Type - Part 5 - The MONEY WOMAN    

By Paul Fox
10878 Views | 30 Comments | 12/9/2013 5:16:43 PM

It’s been fun over the last few weeks, writing these blogs and I hope you guys have enjoyed reading them as much as I have enjoyed writing them. As the series begins to draw to a close, we have 2 (legitimate) types of women to discuss and then one other "TYPE" that I am deliberately leaving until last. No throw of the dice this time – I just decided to try get the tar & feather brigade (who admittedly have been a little bit quiet of late) up in arms again, so I decided to write about the most awful woman that you are likely to meet on your chinese dating site “travels”.

This woman surpasses any of the others we have discussed so far. She is a self-centred, conniving bitch who has no thought for anyone but herself. She is a con-woman – pure and simple – and she deserves nothing more than the words I am going to use to describe her in this week’s drivel!

After reading this short paragraph, you may have a slight “inkling” that I do not like her (lol) – In fact it goes much deeper than that – I HATE her with a passion – and if any of you guys have the misfortune to meet her, then I am sure that you will hate her just as much! Rest assured, she is out there! – There are many, many of them out there!

They should be dressed as witches, but then they would be too conspicuous - so I guess I must try my best to explain to you how to spot this “low-life” amongst the huge crowd of “normal” China women that you are likely to meet in China.

As all of the women so far have had abbreviations for them, I guess I should really do the same with her – so although I really want to call her the CFBWSITTRYO (Cow-Faced-Bitch-With-Selfish-Intent-To-Rip-You-Off), maybe it would be easier if we refer to her as the “Money-Woman” or “MW”.

We all need money… it’s the reason we go to work every day. We need to provide for ourselves and our families – so every penny that we make is “hard-earned-cash”. If we decide to go on holiday in our own country, we have a pretty good idea of what our budget should be for the week (or 2 weeks etc), because we know the “spending-power” of our own currency. However, should we travel to a “far-off-land” for the first time, (and I will use Asian Countries as an example), we have no idea what our own currency will buy us (in terms of material things).

What I mean is this – if 1 of ours is worth 6 of theirs and a meal at home costs 10 and a meal there costs 60, then there is no difference in “spending power”. But if the same applies and a meal there costs 20, then our “buck” is going to go a lot further – follow me so far?

Asian countries are an ideal example because western money will generally buy so much more there than it will at home – in fact it is often said (in Australia) that if you could earn money at home, yet live (and spend it) in an Asian country, you could live like an Emperor!

On my last trip to China, I went to a street side shop (“Deli”) and bought 4 x (pint) bottles of beer and 2 packs of cigarettes. I lined them up in my room, took a photo and sent it to my son with the comment – “4 beers and 2 packs of smokes - $9.00 – what a rip off lol!”  That same purchase would have cost me $60.00 (at least) at home – so no complaints – haha !

So because of Western country’s currency’s “spending power” in China, there are those who walk amongst us who see us as nothing other than a “Rich Foreigner” and they then make it their sworn duty to relieve us of as much of our “hard-earned” as they possibly can!

At this point I want to throw something in that you should DEFINITELY remember if you are heading to China and you are your own “boss” back home.

For the self-employed or small business owner, when you are in China do NOT tell anyone that you run your own business (just as a general rule of thumb) – Yes there are exceptions, but in the main, try to keep it to yourself – at least for now.  In a nutshell, China has the “Boss” and China has the “Worker”. The “Boss” is perceived to be the rich man who drives round in a Beemer or Merc (and many Chinese factory bosses do!) – and the “Worker” essentially doesn’t have “a pot to piss in”!

So once you open your big mouth and proudly tell all-and-sundry that you run your own business (even if you are one-man window cleaner) – then you are automatically put on that “pedestal” and elevated to the high levels of richness and Beemer ownership! Despite your pleas to the contrary, they will not believe you. In their mind it is simple – You are the Boss, so you are rich – end of…..

In the mind of the MW though, she does not care if you are an employer or an employee. In her mind you are a rich foreigner and she will bleed you to death……slowly…….

Sites such as China Love Match and Asia Love Match are emblazoned with the words “Never send money to a person you have not met”, and in my mind, anyone who ignores this “rule” is a damned fool and an idiot and deserves all he (or she) gets (or loses, lol).

But the MW that I am referring to is not such a “scammer” – she has more “sense” than to ask you for money on-line, or before you have met – she will wait until you meet for real before she makes certain that your wallet is never the same again!

Having first-hand knowledge of 4 such “creatures” has made me analyse them as much as possible and in all 4 cases, they appear to have much the same “circumstances” in life.

Firstly, they are generally divorced with a young child (who lives with them). Their ex-husbands either ran into the arms of Aunties son-in-laws, sister’s cousin, or was a total gambler.

In either case, the marriage ended in divorce and our MW lost everything. The home that she once shared with her husband and child has now gone and she and her child are living with family and feel they are a burden

But it’s not her fault! She did nothing “wrong” to destroy her marriage so why should SHE lose everything? Why should SHE be the “victim”?

Is she “bitter”? – You BET she is! – More bitter than an un-ripened plum smothered with lemon juice!

She does not DESERVE for this to happen to her! She was raising the child, working, keeping a clean house and now it’s all gone just because her husband was a jerk!

SOMEONE must “pay”!!

She tells you that she is looking for a husband, and she probably is - but she is not in a desperate hurry - she wants to find the "right man" - and the words "right man" in her mind have a totally different meaning to what you might expect. This makes her difficult to spot on first contact. It’s not until you go away from the site and start to e-mail each other that things will start to show.

Even on e-mail, she will probably not reveal her true self – she will get you onto Skype or QQ or some other instant messaging media before she lets things “slip”.  After some time chatting you may arrange to meet her. She then asks you what “gift” you will bring for her when you meet. She is asking you this question because she is “testing your generosity” and really, she is only interested in the VALUE of your intended gift so she can see how much money you are prepared to spend on it.

Anything less than RMB2000 and she has you down as a “tight-ass”!

Remember her “perception’ also ….. the nice piece of jewellery you were thinking of buying her may certainly cost you the equivalent of around RMB2000, but in China it may be much less (or even a copy) – so she may see it as being “cheap rubbish”, when in fact, it is not. Don’t be surprised if, during your chats on-line she quizzes you about your work, your job and especially your earnings. She wants to know if you own your house, have a mortgage, what car do you drive?

She HATES working – she HATES her job – and she HATES the fact that she must GO to work every day.

After she marries again, ideally she wants to be the “lady-of-leisure” and stay home, cook dinner and keep the house clean – she needs to make certain you can afford to keep her in the life she would LIKE to become accustomed to!

Despite all this, you decide to go ahead and meet her. She will help you book a room in a hotel that is within walking distance to her favourite shopping mall and after you check in, YOU are going to take HER……shopping !!!!!!

This my friends, is where the “fun” starts… Have you ever seen a woman walk into a shoe shop (for example), walk straight over to the rack, pick up a pair of shoes and say “I want these!”?  No browsing, no looking, not even any need to try the damn things on her feet…..

You see, she has been there many, many, times before you arrived!  She has already DONE the browsing, the trying-on etc – she has spent HOURS doing this just as soon as you told her you had booked your plane ticket!

She knows EXACTLY what she wants, EXACTLY which shops to take you to and EXACTLY where her (pre-chosen) goods are once you arrive. (If only REAL girlfriends and wives could shop like this……… would be much happier!) 

So with each store you visit, your wallet is becoming emptier. Your credit card is starting to get “red-hot”… You begin to ask yourself some serious questions now, “Why did she need EIGHT pairs of shoes, a dozen tops, 19 bra's  and FIFTEEN dresses? “

Your arms are loaded up with bags as she leads you to the COSMETIC shop… your credit card is so hot now that it is burning you as you quickly study the hefty price tags on the tiniest of bottles – just KNOWING that she wants 5 litres of the stuff!

You are screwed my friend – you cannot get out of this now – you just need to play along as you become extremely poor, very quickly! You DARE not tell her that “you cannot afford it”, or “you don’t have enough money” because she has already seen your credit card and you don't want to look like an idiot.

Only after she has made you buy all the things she had on her “shopping list” will you be allowed to return to your hotel – along with all her “shopping” – before taking her out for dinner. 

When you arrive back at your hotel (that she kindly helped you book) – this time you notice that the room has 2 single beds!  Now I don’t know about you, but I reckon if you sleep in a large bed at home why would you want to sleep in a small single bed in a nice hotel room that you are paying good money for?

But… when you checked in, SHE made certain that the room has 2 x single beds.  The chances are, that she intends to stay with you in your room tonight – but you are not going to get anywhere NEAR her – so forget any ideas you may have of “loving” tonight – cos it aint gonna happen !!!

Anything of that nature will have to wait (in her words), until “next time”.


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2013-12-09 17:43:43 by feather12 @feather12

The character you have described is not restricted to any specific country and most definately not just China. Believe me, I know from past experience.

They exist in every country, city and village on earth.

They also exist in both sexes.

I have, and several of my friends, both male and female have been caught out by people who behave just as you described.

The lessons learned from them are never forgotten and to some extent makes us wary of committing to a relationship later on.

Are they a part of lifes education?

Caviat Emptor ( Let the buyer, or in this case the suitor, beware.)

#2013-12-09 20:25:33 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1 .

Another interesting article, thanks Paul.

Reading this reminded me of a little anecdote concerning my ex Chinese wife (Ying). When we married in Nanjing, she coyly asked me to buy her a diamond ring. I agreed to this, as it seemed to be a reasonable thing to do. Her request, by the way, was at the insistence of her younger sister, otherwise I'd have gotten away with it!

When we were viewing all the rings on display in the shop the next day, of course the prices varied dramatically, from the rather modestly priced ones up to the very expensive.

I ended up purchasing a medium quality one, nothing special yet it was reasonable and to me, nice enough.

Or so I thought.

Because I can swear to you that after seeing this ring on Ying's finger for the next week or so, after I returned home to Australia, it utterly and completely disappeared, NEVER to be seen again following her emigration to here.

Over the next few years of our marriage, from time to time if ever I wondered about it (which wasn't frequently, maybe once per year, is all), I'd ask

"Ying, whatever happened to the diamond wedding ring that I bought you in Nanjing?"

But nope, I never received a proper reply. She would umm and ahh about it, maybe scratch her head a little or defer to what a nice day it was outside or some such thing. But no, she'd never answer me directly with any hard information as to its whereabouts.

One year however, she let the secret half slip slip. She mentioned a few words that didn't make sense to me at the time, but some time later, bingo! The answer became clear.

Though she never openly admitted it, what I believe happened was when she came to live in Australia, suddenly she met a bunch of new Chinese lady friends here, some of whom were festooned with huge, pretentious rocks on their fingers.

By rocks - this is slang for DIAMONDS.

So Ying I believe, must have felt a little embarrassed that her "rock" wasn't as large as some of the other ladies' ones were. Thus my gift to her was either dumped, flushed down the toilet or given away - rather than face the "shame" of her having to wear a diamond that wasn't equal in size to some of the large baubles worn by her rich friends.

Men sometimes are accused of "penis envy". It seems that some ladies in turn may rightfully be accused of engaging in "diamond envy".

In any case, Paul - I'm enjoying your entertaining articles very much.

Good onya, mate!

#2013-12-10 01:43:03 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

I must say in all my traveling and the requisite bad boy behavior that went on in my misbegotten youth (or earlier days of shoe designer development trips) i have actually never found myself out with one of these women.

My luck may not be luck at all though. In the past I met most of my female companions/gfs etc IN China in the first person, face to face.. While I do try to dress nice enough. I'm usually on a work trip in steamy hot dirty places, like GZ. Even when I go out on the town in Guangzhou, I dress cool in attention getting colors and fashionably interesting shoes etc but I'm dressing in light weight, comfortable and functional clothes.. NOT in a suit or fancy kit by any means. I look interesting enough, my blond hair gets their attention but I dont look like a boss (Maybe a rock star!! LMAO) but I do try not to look like a destitute English teacher either. I'm a designer and I try to play the part. Thus Im not really the best target for a serious gold digger. I think Im also pretty sensitive to women who seem "gold diggerish".

Finally, because I'm the ONLY Westerner, most times, going out with a bunch of Chinese who Im there working with (they will help you avoid the wrong kind of women too, or help you find them LOL depending on your intentions), or I'm going out with other Chinese I've met locally, I dont tend to go to and in fact I avoid (like plague/SARS/bird flu etc.. Anything even remotely expat or touristy. I'm convinced these women are all in those places doing their sucker fishing, or they're online in Chinese/westerner dating sites...

I make a point of being up front about the whole yes my bank sounds big but my mortgage is XX and my car cost XX and groceries cost XX so really once Im off my expense account Im just as broke as the next guy by the end of the month. So then is she still interested? LOL in most cases yes, but I'd think the typical MW wont really be all that interested in me. When they ask me to buy things I just say no, LOL, I'm petty tough about it. Anything they ask me to buy I refuse almost by rule, though I'm quite generous with things I want to buy as gifts, food, experiential things like taking them to the opera etc.. And of course my company puts me up in some seriously posh hotels that ALWAYS have a single King or in the few times I've had a couple twins, lol i just squeezed us both into one or push them right together. If you keep the air on blast she will want to squeeze up tight to keep warm too.

I know these women are out there and there's an entire subculture built around fleecing foreigners but I've really found its geographically centralized around expat areas and large Western hotels. Just get out of those places ASAP, for eating, shopping and looking for women and you will do much better overall in a lot of your dealings... You must have functional Mandarin or a local guide to do this though..

BTW all of you who fear you will meet a misleading woman or just find the chemistry is lacking and now you're stuck having spent a mint on visiting one woman. You CAN just go out and have a decent chance to meet some very nice women and have a great trip even if you don't go home engaged. I'd just suggest you find a cute local girl at the mall or somewhere and let her and her friends show you where to go. Do NOT try and meet good women in a bar where you see more than ONE other westerner. It wont happen, she will either turn out to be a gold digger or whisper in your ear that she'll go home with you for 500 RMB.. I usually look offended and reply "What?? Baby i charge at LEAST 750 rmb to go home w a Chinese girl". They at first look confused then get your joke and will think you are a very funny guy and keep drinking, playing dice etc and generally having fun w you but usually stop trying to get you to pay them once they know your wise to the deal and not someone who pays for it.

#2013-12-10 20:04:07 by anonymous8350 @anonymous8350

i knwo have people so like wc !

#2013-12-10 22:01:43 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

Lol, it has been "gently" brought to my attention that when I said just push two twin (beds) into one bed... The translator leads the women to believe Im talking about twin girls into one bed. THIS IS NOT MY MEANING!! LMAO, I am refering to when you get two small, one person beds in your hotel room. You can push them up next to each other to make them into one King sized bed. In the USA we call these small one person beds "TWIN" beds because you usually see them in twos.

And anyway, if you DO have two girls in your room, let's hope they gave you the room w the big bed!!!

(Sorry Baby, I couldn't resist, I just had to say it... :o) I love you!)

...further more, If you didn't understand the joke about women offering sex for money in expat bars, my meaning is.. If she offers to have sex with you if you give her money.. You can politely say no by making a joke that you thought she was offering to give YOU money and you pretend to be offended and say you only do this for more money than the price she said.. This will get you a laugh and then it will not be awkward or uncomfortable to still talk to her and her friends, or continue playing dice with them, etc.

#2013-12-11 02:02:50 by anonymous8354 @anonymous8354

@Barry1 - I did not know you had an ex Chinese wife. Why didn't the marriage work out for you two?

#2013-12-11 02:31:33 by anonymous8355 @anonymous8355

maybe she doesnot love you ,or maybe it is bz different culture.In fact ,it is normal if the man send gift to the gf,when you decide to meet the gf ,i think you are in the relationship .Maybe you angry bz the lady did not sleep with you in one bed ,right ?Is it selfish of you ?

#2013-12-11 12:28:24 by destiny1 @destiny1

I didn't have been tracking your article, because I think that you see are all very ugly phenomenon. Maybe because you come to China woman is not enough class woman. In every country there are a lot of things the people and things. A real proud of the Chinese women may not have met you, I think it is very sad.

I'm here to see so many outstanding proud Chinese woman, don't think Chinese women have never seen a money, like blackmail foreigners a little humble little thing. When Chinese women ask you whether to own a house, I think this is normal, the most outstanding Chinese have a lot of homes, who I believe are not willing to marry a man who let her life going downhill. A good woman here a lot of I don't know whether you have a chance to meet her.

#2013-12-11 13:05:26 by destiny1 @destiny1


I added a moment, I would like to ask whether he ' 'to own a house, I can't live in rent house, because I am a family oriented woman. If he don't have a house, at least he has the ability to buy a house, and I hope he is pavilions villa, who I am when I am in the garden, I like to land. Here every person have a condition, hope to find belongs to own the right people, this is not what is wrong? As every man in the heart has its own standard. But love is the most difficult to set conditions, we started often conditional and unconditional end, isn't it?

#2013-12-11 13:28:06 by purplesea1970 @purplesea1970

material women exist in all culture,it may men`s fault sometimes

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