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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - The Marriage

By Ryan Hendry
615 Views | 5 Comments | 9/16/2017 12:36:30 PM

The day of the marriage arrived. It had all been arranged by Noi and Som, her sister. I drove Noi and Som to the small town near to where their father lived. First, we all three of us ate breakfast then the girls left me in the restaurant. They walked around the corner to the store that sold silk wedding dresses then the beauty salon.  I had about two hours to kill. That was made easier by the presence of a bunch of bikers in the restaurant.

 

At one time back in England I had owned a BMW motorcycle. These bikers, about twenty in total, had parked their machines outside the restaurant. They were all new or newish BMW GS bikes. Many of them were loaded with goodies like GPS. I got talking to them and found out they were all from Bangkok and were having a weekend ride-out to the Khlong Lan waterfalls. They all spoke good English and clearly had well-paid jobs to even entertain the idea of buying a BMW bike in Thailand. The time soon passed in the company of my new buddies.

 

Som came back to the restaurant alone. Noi was still under the dryer at the salon. They had completed the final fitting for the wedding dress. I was needed to pay for the dress and the beauty salon. I walked to those stores with Som. The stores were next to each other so I went in and duly paid.

 

Noi by now was all done. The plan was now to drive to her father’s home where Som would dress and prepare Noi for the wedding. You know, all that beautifying stuff! Noi had checked my wardrobe the night before in the Kampheang Phet hotel. She had picked out a smart, short-sleeve shirt, dark grey pants and a pair of nice shoes. She was going to make sure I looked smart and respectable. My wardrobe was now in the car and there was plenty of time for me to change when I reached Noi’s father’s home.

 

I was impressed when I drove up to the house. The gates, yard and the road outside had all been decked out with bunting and flags. The yard was transformed. There were tables, chairs and two marquees to give shade to the guests. The road outside was crammed with parked cars but a space had been reserved for my car. On going into the yard I discovered that the cars belonged mainly to Noi’s brother, the Bangkok taxi driver, and his friends. A man in his thirties came over and warmly greeted me. It was Noi’s brother. His English was excellent. I guess from years of taxi driving in Bangkok. I asked him for his name. He laughed and said something that to me was unpronounceable. He added, “Don’t worry. Just call me Frank.” Frank was one of those touch feely guys. I think he had already started drinking.

 

Our introduction was interrupted by the sound and sight of a large truck backing through the open gates and into the yard. It was open-backed. There were about ten people in the back and musical instruments plus speakers and amplifiers. The sound system, instruments and musicians set themselves up on the back of the truck. In no time at all they were playing - loudly! Most of the music was a kind of Thai rock. Loud and foot-tapping music. I liked it. Just as well, it was to get even louder as the day wore on.

 

It was time for me to change so I excused myself. Som appeared from nowhere and saw I had picked up the bag with my change of clothing. She told me to change in the downstairs bedroom. Som warned me not to peep beyond the screen as Noi was still getting ready. I guess that is another version of life in the west - the western tradition of not seeing the new bride on the morning of the wedding. I did as I was told and resisted the temptation to peek around the screen.

 

Now I was dressed for a wedding - my wedding! I knew this village ceremony had no legal standing. Would I have gone through with it if it was a ‘legal’ wedding? I don’t know to this day. The point was that I was relaxed and enjoying my new life. I was ‘going with the flow.’

 

The ‘flow’ included the flow of alcohol. Western weddings and Thai weddings shared that feature. Cross cultural issues had at least one thing in common! Now resplendent in my wedding wardrobe, I was offered alcohol by all and sundry. I decided to start with a beer. There seemed to be a lot of waiting.

 

I had no idea of what was going to happen or what form the ceremonies would take. I had a good idea that there was going to be a lot of drinking, eating and dancing. I wasn’t wrong. The place started to fill with more people while I was waiting. Some dressed for a wedding and some not. It seemed like the whole village was in attendance. In fact, later that day I was told that was the case! It seems that is part of the SE Asia culture. If there is a party - go! You don’t need an invitation.

 

By now I was anxious that Noi was still locked away in the downstairs bedroom. Perhaps she had changed her mind? It was while thinking along those lines that I saw Noi walk towards me. She looked a million dollars! I found her attractive but now I was gazing at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She never normally wore any make-up. Today her eyes were a sight to behold. Noi was breathtakingly beautiful. Her almond shaped eyes had been enhanced by the application of eye shadow and the effect stirred me.

 

Who was the lucky guy who was going to marry this stunning looking woman?

 

More next time about the wedding

 

 

 

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(Showing 1 to 5 of 5) 1
#2017-09-16 12:35:33 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I have to admit I was shocked to read "I knew this village ceremony had no legal standing." I had not heard of Thai women entering into non-legally binding marriages and don't really understand why they would. That sure doesn't happen in China. 

Can you fill us in as to why Noi would be interested in such a marriage? Was she expecting you to make it legal at another time?

I do understand that the car and the house were in her name, so she was pretty safe that she would do okay financially if you dumped her and ran, and maybe in the end that was good enough for her. But is it normal for Thai marriages, and especially Thai marriages to foreigners, to be informal and without legal standing.

Having said that, it sounds like it was a great day for a wedding and beautiful woman to be marrying. At that time in your life you must have felt like you'd died and gone to heaven.

#2017-09-18 15:04:01 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Yeah, I've heard of this before, but I heard it called simply a 'Temple Marriage'. It's kinda legal, yet not legal - right?

Legal as far as society is concerned, since both parties are considered to be 'married', yet not so much in the eyes of the law. It's certainly a strange one, lol

#2017-09-19 02:33:45 by anonymous16552 @anonymous16552

Very interesting description of your wedding day. I am almost afraid of whats coming next...

House is in her name, truck is in her name, you paid for all of the wedding/dress etc etc etc etc and yet you say it is not a legal marriage ceremony? OMG! I want to ask but I will wait for your complete story to unfold.

It does however sound like one hell of a party!

#2017-09-30 01:39:11 by dailian @dailian

when i traveled in thailand ,i heard that many thail girls had one night sex with western men and the men back to western and left a child or children in thailand.of course these men will give money to the girls to bring up the kids. So i not understand why men like marry thail girls.specially there aremany ladyguys too.who know you married a real girl or just a ladyguy/:D

#2017-10-01 23:07:05 by anonymous16580 @anonymous16580


@dailian, you heard many thai girls have 1 night sex with western men. Interesting that you "heard" it, did you actually see any evidence of this? Maybe it is the women having sex so they can get the money from the man.....I would think that most men in Thailand looking for sex are smart enough to wear a condom...

Most men are smart enough to check out the Thai women they marry to make sure they are not ladyboys, they know by seeing and touching.

There are many men in Thailand looking for 1 night sexual encounters and there are as many Thai women looking for the same thing, this happens in China alot as well. I personally know of several men who have been "used" by unscrupulous Chinese women for their "money" and their "bigger penises".

This situation is not just something that happens in Asian countries, it happens in many other countries around the world including my own country 

Your post and words are very condecending towards Thai women and western men.

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