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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - The Big Freeze

By Ryan Hendry
573 Views | 11 Comments | 4/18/2018 2:10:26 PM
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Yes, okay, in some ways I was the author of my own downfall. I am not seeking sympathy. I’m telling you how it was. I don’t have to think too hard to imagine how Noi felt to see me walk away from the bar with Orn and return to my hotel at just after six in the morning. Yet, in light of what had just happened I felt no guilt. Noi had it coming. I felt that at the time and since. The “since?” You will soon discover more when you read on.

 

Noi and I got back to Mama’s. The house was still under construction and shortly before the excursion to Phuket I had given the builder more money at Noi’s request. This was to finish the project and bizarrely to buy a new van to transport material and the construction crew. I did query this but got that infuriating Asian way of responding to awkward questions – a shrug of the shoulders and a look suggesting you are a crazy foreigner.

 

I got the big freeze treatment after Phuket. Noi had frozen me out in the bedroom for some time but now this was the full treatment. Except for one night. I still had to eat and where else but Noi’s restaurant? Noi and I had a couple of beers after she finished working and we decided at her suggestion to go to a karaoke bar. You know the type of place where you can have a sing-song and get laid if you so wish. I’m a sucker for karaoke so I agreed to go partly because I was hopeful we could find a way through all of this.

 

Noi got chatting to three local Thai girls as soon as we arrived at the karaoke bar. I hadn’t got a clue what they were saying. One of the three was a petite girl and full of curves in the right places. She wanted to dance with me. We did. We danced several times in full view of Noi. The petite girl, about nineteen years old, was grinding her pelvis into my groin. She was hot. And my “lower brain” reacted with a bulge in my trousers. Caution kicked in and I told Noi we were going back to our rented room. She agreed. Well, we got into our bed and I was feeling horny thinking of what had just happened. Noi had a habit of keeping her bra on in bed if sex was off limits. She was wearing one this night and I queried that. Oh! All hell broke loose. She cussed me out in English like I’ve never been cussed before. I flipped and got out of bed and threw some cups and plates against the wall smashing them. That was her cue to leave in her panties and bra. Noi went outside and called Pee Ning. I went back to bed ensuring the door was locked behind me. Noi spent the night at Mama’s house.

 

The following morning she called me telling me it was best if I went away for a while so she could think things over. I agreed and flew off to Australia to visit friends. Noi and Pee Ning drove me to Hat Yai airport and I left my car with her. That was the last I saw of Noi and my car.

 

I stayed in Australia for almost two months. I had no idea what my next move was going to be. I tried every means possible to contact Noi but all emails and texts remained unanswered. I was now very worried. I did receive one text from Orn while in Australia. It was to tell me it was her birthday. We had a great chat and I told her I would look her up when I got back to Phuket. At that time I didn’t know if I really meant that.

 

Eventually Noi responded to my messages. I had got to the stage of thinking f*** the house, I just want my car back. Noi told me she had killed a young boy while driving my car. She added the car had been impounded by police and I had to pay a lot of money for it to be released. I asked many questions and it became clear that she was telling me a pack of lies. I called her again and confronted her about this. Her reply? “Don’t come back here. Pee Ning will shoot you and kill you if you come back to the house or restaurant.”

 

I recalled the tales that Pee Ning had been in the Thai Mafia. I also recalled he had offered to get me a gun.  I took these threats so seriously I changed my return flight to arrive at Phuket and not Hat Yai. They knew my original schedule so I took no chances. I had burned my boats in the UK. I wasn’t going back there so it was like taking a deep breath and getting back on that bike when I was a kid. You know the feeling – after you have taken a fall.

 

Phuket, on arrival from Australia via Singapore, was still the same. I was different. I was determined not to be scammed ever again and equally as determined to try my best to get my car back. Damn! I loved that D Max and even reminded Noi to have it serviced while I was away. Fat chance! I returned to Thailand with a different mindset. Although not in the same category as my Irish companion on a previous flight, you remember - the sex tourist, I was going to have fun and f*** and NOT fall in love. Then again, what’s the difference between my new-found attitude and the Irishman? Who is right and who is wrong? Are there rights and wrongs? I have no idea.

 

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#2018-04-18 14:09:47 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I am not going to go into detail, but this ending of your marriage to Noi reminds me a lot of the ending with my lrelationship with my Chinese live in girlfriend when I first moved to China. She cost me well more than $200,000 USD, about half of which she managed to retain for herself, she pulled a knife on me twice while expressing how much she wished I was dead, and when it was finally over, like you and so many other guys, I went into serious party mode, hoping to drink and screw the pain away.

I went into the relationship thinking we were both madly in love. I came out realizing that at best, she went into it thinking that if I behaved exactly as she expected at all times the relationship might work, but otherwise she was going to take me for everything she could get. At worst, she just went into it in order to take me for everything she could get. I'd say that Noi went into your marriage with much the same intentions.

So while the circumstances and exact facts were quite different, the broad general plot was a lot the same. And so were the results.

I hope for your sake that you had at least had as much fun as I did in the following year of emotional recovery, which was a lot of fun. And quite a bit of that fun was had in Thailand I might add. But as enjoyable as many of my experiences were, they were subject to an ever present bittersweet overlay that did not disappear until I met someone who actually seemed to genuinely care about me and want to be with me for life, and for whom I felt the same way.

She is still with me today, many years later. So far, all is well that ends well. I wish the same for you. 

#2018-04-18 17:59:06 by cuby @cuby

@Ryan Hendry

It was probable a good thing that you didn't go back to the house or restaurant, even if there was no death threat because if you did, and eat at her restaurant there would be a chance that they would put poison in your food or drink. I seen that happened to a friend of mine in Thailand done by his (ex) girlfriend, although the attempt failed, he was close to death.

I'll be curious how you dealt with that, did you consider to go to the police? after all you had the text as proof of the threat. Based on my experience that's kind of useless and can even be counter productive. I had better experience with the Tourist Police. Keep up the good work.

 

 

#2018-04-19 02:05:29 by anonymous17051 @anonymous17051

Ryan, Noi "WAS" in it from the beginning to screw you over, I personally believe she has done this to her previous BF (who's book Noi gave you). Anyone who sympathises with Noi is delusional. She threatened to have Ryan shot and killed, end of story. At the kareoke bar Noi more than likely paid the girl to hit on you and dance close with you to further incriminate yourself for her benefit. You were being scammed from the beginning and as a fellow western man I feel for you brother. Noi will get hers......

Any western man who gets involved with an Asian woman needs to know what he is getting into before hand...have your eyes and ears wide open. After allowing for cultural differences, if your spidey sense are still going off then end it as your gut instinct is telling you it is not right. We have survival instincts(gut) for a reason so listen to them. 

Money/financial security is first on an asian womans mind, love and romance is a distant second. I do not care if anyone believes me or not. This situation has happened to thousands upon thousands of western men, do some research on this internet and you will find many many sites dedicated to exposing these kinds of scams. read the stories and the results for the men.

Ryan, I truly hope things work out for you(Orn?) brother, after going through what you did with Noi you deserve better. 

 

 

 

Cheers.......

#2018-04-19 15:14:49 by Barry1 @Barry1

@RHendry

 

My move at this stage would be to execute a plan to repossess the car in the early hours of the morning. Know exactly where you'll be then taking it, a long distance away.

 

Then I'd consult a good lawyer and lay the cards on the table. Don't hold anything back. Ask him if in the circumstances, there was any reasonable chance of recuperating  monies from the property, without incurring enormous legal fees.

 

If the answer was yes, then I'd pursue this avenue, whilst staying out of sight somehwere. If the answer was no, I'd start off afresh with a new life. Away from areas where Noi or her family could easily find you.  I'd also look up Orn to see if there were any chances of a viable, loving relationship there. A possible light at the end of the tunnel?

#2018-04-20 01:51:45 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

If you are looking for a serious relationship, my advice, for what it's worth (and you know by now I think of the value of advice based on personal experience) is to stay away from (a) any Thai girl and (b) any Chinese girl young enough to be your daughter. BTW, what exactly is the distinction between "sex tourist" and "going to Thailand to f*** and have fun"?

 

#2018-04-20 14:31:39 by RHendry @RHendry


@woaizhongguo "BTW, what exactly is the distinction between "sex tourist" and "going to Thailand to f*** and have fun"?"

Context :)

Thanks to all for input, thoughts, etcetera.

All appreciated!

#2018-04-26 17:14:18 by oldghost @oldghost

Your experiences are totally foreign to me - I have never encountered anything but total integrity in the few Asian women whose paths I have crossed (since 1980) and loved or married.  From China, Thailand, Malaysia, Philippines, Vietnam or Singapore.  On the other hand I can confirm some of them were truly fierce and could be violent in a rage!  As to greeting my wife or lover saying 你胖了 as someone here did - I am just not that silly! 

#2018-04-27 11:16:09 by RHendry @RHendry

@oldghost

Thank you for commenting. You are a truly lucky man :) I would say the same about most I have known except the one I write about.

Stories of Thai scammers are legion and there are more than a few in the Philippines so I say again... you are a (remarkably) lucky man.

#2018-04-27 14:38:33 by oldghost @oldghost

@rhendry it is not just dumb luck, one inherently and from experience knows how to steer clear of the ungenuine, insincere or dishonest.

#2018-04-28 13:21:34 by RHendry @RHendry

@oldghost You have a bestseller on your hands. You should write a book sharing this knowledge.

Sorry but I don't believe it. Let me say why - "ungenuine, insincere or dishonest" people don't carry a warning label. So I still think you were lucky. The only surefire way to steer clear of such folks is never to venture out of the front door :)

Prove me wrong and write that book -"How to Recognize and Stay Clear of  a Scammer."

Alternatively, start a blog and share your wisdom.

Second thoughts, don't bother. I think you may be winding me up :)

I almost fell for it!

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