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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - Thai Women

By Ryan Hendry
992 Views | 6 Comments | 4/2/2016 1:54:43 PM

Divorced, so why not turn to international online dating?

The last divorce, number three, was painful. We had been together for nigh on twenty-five years, and two children together and one grandchild. Both of the kids were grown up and had long fled the nest at the time of my last divorce. They had their own lives to lead. Of course, I would miss seeing my grandchild, a girl now aged six.



However, the divorce was inevitable and if the truth be known we had only stuck together for so long because of the kids. My working years had been in a legal setting, first as a police officer and then as a lawyer. Most lawyers in the UK work in the legal aid sector. It is publicly funded work. In other words, the tax payer foots the bill. 



Changes in government policies decimated the legal aid funding system almost overnight. It reduced my income dramatically. We lived in a comfortable suburban home in Southampton, a coastal city in Southern England. But, there was still an outstanding mortgage on our home and it gobbled up fuel to heat it in the cold, gray, damp winter months. Changes were needed and I suggested downsizing. This lady is not for downsizing!



That was the reaction I got to my suggestions. In any event, the kids had flown and it was now an empty nest in more ways than one. My soon to be ex was way too busy with her successful business and socializing to care about my difficulties. Eventually, argument after argument led us to contemplate divorce.



My law practice had by now dwindled to nothing and I was running into serious financial difficulties. I was close to state retirement age, sixty-five in Britain, when my divorce was made final. Foolishly, and through a sense of old-fashioned gallantry, I made a financial settlement with my ex-wife that resulted in a five figure sum being deposited in my bank account. I had no desire to force the sale of the marital home in order to collect my fifty percent and a six figure sum. I also had no stomach for the fight over money. I’d had enough and wanted to start afresh.



My fresh start didn’t take too much thought. I took stock of the situation. I was sixty-five years old, divorced and homeless. I had a temporary roof over my head and a sofa to sleep on thanks to an old friend. My arthritis had gotten worse as I got older and exacerbated by the English winter. I needed sunshine and beaches! I had an old friend from schooldays who had married a Thai lady after he had been there on vacation. They seemed happy and I was always struck by how well she looked after him compared to my ex-wives and the other English women I knew. He used to joke that he wasn’t even allowed to put on his own trousers as she even helped him perform that everyday task! She was also a good cook and obviously specialized in spicy Thai food.



I was partial to spicy Asian food so that was another attractive feature about Thailand. In any case, when I ran my eye over the available females in England it did nothing for me. I still had some libido left in my aging body and started to think about beautiful Thai women. It was also the case that I was never the one to enjoy living alone. I needed at companionship and friendship at the minimum. Love would be a bonus.



Hello online dating! I had never used any kind of dating service in my life until the day I went online and signed up. I recall thinking how easy it was and only required my email address, my first and last names. It was both exciting and scary. My stomach was filled with butterflies as I entered my details. I’m now registered it told me. Please upload a profile pic and tell people about yourself, it said. I did just that. I found a recent photo that showed me in a good light and uploaded it. My initial thought was to put an older photo up there, a younger Ryan, but stopped as I realized deception is not the best way of initiating contact. Then I wrote about two or three paragraphs telling the virtual world all about me and what I was looking for.



I pressed ‘Submit’ and became even more nervous. What have I done? I know people extol anonymity as one of the virtues of online dating or any online presence. That may be true if you don’t supply your real identity but the profile and the pic that stared back at me from the screen was definitely me! I intended to be serious in my dating quest and part of that seriousness was being truthful. The butterflies were rising once more in the pit of my stomach and my mouth was dry. What have I done? I soon relaxed when I started to browse the galleries.



The galleries went on and on. There were hundreds if not thousands of Thai ladies. Many, the majority in fact, were attractive. The butterflies subsided and gave way to excitement like the proverbial kid in the candy store, my eyes wide open. I spent maybe a whole hour devouring the feast set before me. I didn’t read too much. I simply took in a name when I was done with gazing and dreaming, making a mental note to revisit that lady’s profile. I also started to research Thailand as a country. Did I need a visa? What and where were the main attractions? I bought a Rough Guide and crammed information in about the culture, food, the people, the history and of course, Buddhism.



I discovered that as a UK passport holder I could visit and stay in Thailand for one month without a visa. That would be my plan. Go and stay for one month. Check out the lay of the land. I checked flights and found I could fly return London to Bangkok for a little less than £400 (about $600). I checked the currency and then it was about Baht 50 to the pound.



In my research I found that I could buy a couple of beers and a meal out there for far less than the price of fish and chips in Britain. Things were looking rosy. Before I booked my flight I returned to the Asian dating site many times. I had met Noi. It means “little one” in Thai. Noi and I had been chatting for nearly two months before I flew to Thailand to start the beginnings of my new life.


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 6 of 6) 1
#2016-04-02 14:09:06 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Ryan, it is a little amazing to me that almost every detail of your past and mine are different (except the fact we were both lawyers) and your chosen location for your asian dating initiation was Thailand and not China, and yet there is something hauntingly familiar about your story that reminds me so much of my own.

I would assume that almost every guy reading this blog who has already experienced their first sojourn into the world of Online Asian Dating, or is about to, has that same sense of familiarity. I think it is because you have set the mood so well, the feelings deep inside, when we suddenly find ourselves about to travel around the world to meet someone from a totally unfamiliar culture in the naive hope that life is about to get a whole lot better.

You really brought back that bittersweet excitement to me, that feeling of hopeful anticipation about what lies ahead combined with a sad nostalgia for everything that's been lost or thrown away. I really enjoyed reading this, and look very forward to what is coming up. Cheers. (beer)

#2016-04-02 18:11:34 by Barry1 @Barry1

@RHendry

"My law practice had by now dwindled to nothing and I was running into serious financial difficulties."

One thing that really surprised me was to learn that many lawyers in Britain struggle financially. In Australia and elsewhere, many (though not all) lawyers commonly charge obscene amounts of money for their services. Hence my surprise at your dire economic situation, particularly given that your wife was running a successful business.

Talking about Thailand, I know a teacher who's just left the place, after spending six or seven years working there. He recounted to me only a few days ago his disappointment with the current political situation there, where foreigners aren't as welcome to work as they used to be. His teaching licence was becoming increasingly difficult to renew, for example. He described it as a "bag of snakes", trying to sort all the bureaucratic hurdles required of him as a teacher. So he gave up and moved to China where he was welcomed with open arms.

I'll be interested to learn your candid views about the country, Ryan, although it seems you're currently living in the Philippines.

#2016-04-02 22:31:45 by anonymous14708 @anonymous14708

Ryan, I read this blog and when finished I was surprised at how similar our paths have been, even to the foolish point of being gallant to our own detriment financially. If I could go back and do the divorce again I would do so and believe me when I say this, I would be the proverbial "prick" this time. My ex has an easy, comfy life while I continue to struggle financially because of my foolish decision.

My best friend has an Asian wife and he always told me to find an Asian wife as they will treat you like a man not a possession. I believe wholeheartedly that you made the right decision in pursuing this avenue. I personally have not any experience with Thai women so I can only say good luck and good success.

I look forward to your next episode.

#2016-04-02 22:38:50 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Hi Ryan and welcome aboard !
I know Southampton well - although I'm a 'Coventry Kid' myself !
I echo John's thoughts about Thailand and the experiences I have had with women there
Ultra-nice, but they seem to have 'magic' vaginas from where I'm standing
By that I mean that from their pussies seem to emerge huge houses, gold, jewelry, cash, credit cards and cars
Tell me I'm wrong?

#2016-04-09 05:32:43 by Andypanda @Andypanda

Hi Ryan, G'day from Australia
I just want to wish you well on your journey. Like many other have already said your tale is very similar to mine.Although my wife sadly passed away (she was a great Aussie girl) but ghere was a bitter fight with her family and I also lost out big time financially, But that is all water under the bridge now.
I found a beautiful,fascinating,crazy Chinese wife here. She is GOLD.
If I did not find a Chinese wife I think I also would have looked to Thailand. I have been there on holiday and it seems Asia is just a paradise for beautiful wonderful women. China,Thailand,Japan.Korea and more.
Anyway I dont want to waffle on about me, I just want to wish you the best of luck mate and say DONT give up. I say that because you are just at the start of your journey, you have all the fun stuff to come yet, Like Official papers, legislation, fee's. visa'a. confusion etc etc hahahaha.
But believe me it is worth going through all that crap.
All the best.

#2016-04-19 15:08:07 by RHendry @RHendry

@JohnAbbot Thank you. I hope the rest of the story lives up to expectations!
@Barry1 Same in the UK - some lawyers earn astronomical amounts of money but they are in the minority. As for the remainder of your comments, I'm sorry but you will have to wait to see how Thailand pans out.
@paulfox1 I didn't see any "magic vaginas" in Thailand, thank goodness. The thought of a house emerging from a Thai pussy, or any pussy, is kind of unsettling don't you think? :)
@Andypanda Great to hear about your story after the tragedy in your life. I do like Aussies - straight to the point. Thanks mate!

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