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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - Sex Tourists

By Ryan Hendry
744 Views | 3 Comments | 5/31/2017 2:23:09 PM

It was only 10.30 am but who cared? I ordered my English breakfast and a pint of Guinness - the ‘black stuff.’ They were the only things I was going to miss in my new life in Asia. Sure, I had family in England and I would miss some of them some of the time. But, owing to my acrimonious divorce the kids had shunned me. It hurt. My way of dealing with the hurt was to ignore it. It was packed away deep in my mind. There was no turning back and no time for regrets.



The bacon, eggs, fried bread, sausage, mushrooms and toast of the English breakfast were marvelous. I had left Southampton early that morning and was ravenous. It was washed down with a cold pint of Guinness. Aah! This was as good as it gets. I made my way to the gate and boarded the flight for Bangkok. I had good memories of my first flight there when I was seated next to the friendly English guy. 



Departure time was fast approaching and the seat next to me was still vacant. I thought - good, some extra room to spread myself out. A group of red-faced men walked down the cabin towards me. One excused himself and took the seat next to me. Oh, well! I hoped he would be good company. Either that or not too chatty. The next twelve hours on the flight dashed both hopes. He talked non-stop.



He was a pleasant enough guy. An Irishman traveling with a group of his compatriots. He was a farmer from some rural area of Ireland. There were about eight of them in his group. The others were sat a few rows behind me. I could hear them throughout the flight. Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not anti-social and I am not a prude. But my new traveling companion had one subject on his mind - sex. He was a little younger than me and a veteran of the Pattaya sex scene. His group made an annual trip to Pattaya. They were the archetypal sex tourists.



I think what is the most annoying feature of people like him is they talk to you as if you know nothing. As if you had never had sex. That, and the fact they have the need to publicly broadcast their sexploits. I had it chapter and verse. What he was going to do when he arrived - beer, eat and sleep. The next thing he was going to do - find p***y; then he was going to f**k. Then that process would be repeated for every day of his trip. After several hours his breath smelled of alcohol. He got to the over-friendly stage, tugging on my sleeve to catch my attention before another salacious and boring story. “You know what?” he slurred, and not waiting for me to respond, “The best thing is I will f**k different p***y every day.”



It got to a stage where I was bored, disgusted and embarrassed in equal measures. I had to shut this guy up. “Don’t you ever worry about STD?” He looked puzzled for a few seconds until he figured out what STD meant. “No! No condom, no boom-boom,” he roared at his own perceived wit. “Don’t you ever ..” I hesitated and pointed down to the groin area. “Go down?” he finished off my incomplete question. “Yeah, I love it,” answering his own question. I could not resist it. “No condoms for that though. Are there?” His jaw dropped. My ‘new friend’ sat in silence for the rest of the flight.



He sat silently but his friends were raucous. There were kids on the flight. It was a miracle that no parent had a word with these guys. The content of their conversations was similar to that of my ‘new friend.’ If it had been on a TV set, then no doubt the parent would have turned off the set. Relief is the only word to describe how I felt on disembarking at the airport in Bangkok. I began to feel sorry for the Pattaya bar girls taking money from these guys. I guess that comes with the territory. You can’t choose your customer if you are running a business.



Noi was waiting for me once more at Phuket International Airport. This time I had pre-booked a rental car and collected it from the airport car park. I drove to Patong, by now I was no stranger to the route. We checked in at the same hotel. The one in the quiet side street. I opened up my carry-on bag and gave her the Cadbury’s chocolates I had bought at Heathrow. They were a little soft with the heat of the day but we both sat on the bed enjoying the chocolate bar. The melted chocolate left its traces on our fingers. We sucked the chocolate away from each other’s fingers. It was good to see Noi again. It was good to touch her and be touched.



The next morning saw us sat at our usual breakfast spot overlooking the street. I set out my ideas. We decided to spend a week in Phuket. The idea was for me to try to find a car for sale. I checked online but had difficulty as most of the local cars were advertised in Thai. It was a pain to have Noi interpret all of them. And, besides, halfway through Noi would shake her head and say, “No good.” I asked why “no good”. She would say. “He a crook.” So the culture of Asia was no different than the UK when it came to buying a car.  It was then I found an online magazine that sold all kinds of stuff from all over Thailand. It was like a modern day Exchange and Mart, a well-known English print magazine. It looked promising and most of the ads were in English.



It was there I spotted a company in Chiang Mai. Its ads were linked to its own website so I began reading. I was impressed.



How was shopping for wheels for you in an Asian country?


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 3 of 3) 1
#2017-05-31 14:22:53 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I have to agree that the sex tourism side of Thailand leaves a lot to be desired. I don't have a problem with there being a sex industry in Thailand or anywhere else. Sex is a huge part of life and so long as the people involved are consenting adults and no one is being forced to paritcipate, then I generally feel it isn't my place to judge the participants.

But the problem is just as you have described quite clearly. The Thai participants, be they the many attractive young Thai women, or the Ladyboys, who are selling themselves for the chance for both they and their families to enjoy a better life financially, do not offend me in anyway. But a wide swath of the foreign men who come for nothing but the sex can be utterly disgusting. Not all the foreign men are so, but a great perccentage are.

Some male tourists get caught up in the nightlife, of which the sex industry forms a huge part, and in the process they befriend or partner with a person who's living is made in the sex trade. They will love and honor their partner, and treat them with caring and respect. These guys are not the problem.

The problem lies with the guys Ryan described above. The ones who come to Thailand to use and abuse the Thai participants without giving a single thought to their humanity. These men are vile and ugly and the worst representatives of Western culture that one can imagine. They are users and abusers, and so bereft of decency that they don't even know that they are an embarrassment to humanity; instead they take great pride in being such. They will brag about having a 15 year old girlfriend, as if they are unaware that what they have is a child prostitute. Not a girlfriend, but a victim.

They are the dark side of the Thai sex trade, or perhaps I should say of the third world sex trade, because it is by no means restricted to Thailand. 

#2017-06-01 19:16:49 by RHendry @RHendry

@JohnAbbot I couldn't have put it better myself. I agree with all of that :)

#2017-06-01 23:05:44 by Anniehow @Anniehow

Thailand is such a contradiction. I have personally witnessed the laid-backtraditional side of Thailand recently. In a lot of ways, Thailand reminded me of South America due to its tropical climate, friendly people and carefree lifestyle. However, it is much more traditional than South America in some ways.   They honor and pay utmost respect to their king and when it comes to temples or royal residence, strict dress code is enforced. We had to pay "donations" in exchange for a piece or two of black cloth to cover ourselves before going to the Royal place just because the skirt was a little short or too much arm was exposed. In the Royal summer residence, visitors are supposed to take their shoes off and turn off cellphone. Compared with palaces in China, the residence  is rather modest yet there is a strong sense that the Thai attach a lot of importance to nature and inner self reflection. A lot of it must be attributed to Buddhism.

However, sex industry also thrives in Thailand......I do not think that many who are involved in the business do it because of enjoyment or they are proud of it. It is livelihood because of poverty or lack of vision or hope. Those who brag and take pride in their sexual exploits ,on the other hand, do have a choice. It is sad that they do not have respect for the less fortunate and their indifference/ pride deserves even much less respect.

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