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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - The Beginning of the End

By Ryan Hendry
1068 Views | 33 Comments | 3/28/2018 1:28:03 PM
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The day was fixed for our trip to Phuket. Noi and I were familiar with the place but some of the others had never been there before. They were excited. Before setting off on the long drive I had made it crystal clear to Noi our appointment was for two in the afternoon the following day. She knew she had to be present with me during the appointment with the lawyer as she had to sign the legal documents. She knew exactly what was required of her. It was my “insurance policy.”

 

It was an eventful road trip. In fact it was pleasant. Even more so as we drove along the main highway near Krabi when the spectacular limestone karst cliffs loomed into view and glimpses of the blue waters of the Andaman Sea. I was in a great mood.

 

The mood got better after we arrived in Patong. I had reserved two hotel rooms, one for Noi and me and the other for the rest of the “crew.” We enjoyed a good dinner then it was decided Pee Ning's sister would stay in the room with the kids while Noi, me, Pee Ning, Dorn and Pee Ning's brother went for a few beers. The last named three had never seen Bangla Road and the ladyboys and bar girls at work in the bars. Noi and I took them to a bar where they looked on in fascination as the bar girls and ladyboys plied their trade.

 

The night wore on and we all had drunk mucho beer. Not just beer, but in some of the bars we were plied with “rocket fuel.” That’s a highly potent and extremely alcoholic liquor served in a small shot glass. I was getting ready to call it a night as it was now about ten thirty. I was tired from the drive and I knew I had the appointment with the lawyer the next day. I suggested to Noi I was ready to retire. She wasn’t having any of it. Noi was having fun and enjoying time spent with the others in our company. I was pissed. I got even more pissed when I heard her say “I’m not going with you to see the lawyer. I am signing nothing.” This time there was no smile and no "darling." 

 

I was deflated, angry and flabbergasted in equal measures. You don’t know me but I can assure you my response in terms of language towards a woman was out of character. “Fuck you!” I replied and got up from my seat in the bar and walked away.

 

After walking about fifty yards I had calmed down a little. I turned around half expecting Noi to come running after me. She didn’t. I decided to walk back to my hotel room alone. As I reached the corner of the street I heard a sexy voice softly call out, “Hello handsome. Come and have a drink.” I looked up and saw three bar girls sat just inside the open air bar alongside the street. I was drunk. I was angry. I thought why the hell not!

 

Two of these “girls” turned out to be ladyboys. I’d be a liar if I said I knew that immediately. It dawned on me during our first drink together. When I first sat down with them on accepting their invitation, I ordered drinks for all three girls, one a real one and the other two wannabes. Another lady came to take the order. She was older than the other three and looked about thirty three or so. The others looks like they were in their early to mid-twenties. The older one smiled at me when I ordered. Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn’t either but I was smitten with Orn. Orn was the older lady and had the most enigmatic but beautiful smile I have ever seen. Yeah! I know what you’re thinking – how cheesy! I don’t care because it’s true. I asked her if she also wanted a drink. Once more I got the smile and she said, “Yes.”

 

A few drinks later I didn’t care about a thing. To get to the chase, I asked Orn, “how much?” She smiled and said softly, “Short time or long time?” I said, “how long is long time?” Orn replied, “Six in the morning.” “Six in the morning it is but tell me how much.” “One thousand two hundred baht short time. Two thousand long time.” I said, “What are we waiting for?” Orn gave the smile again and said, “Bar fine and pay for drinks.” Orn was ever the business woman. I got to know her and that aspect of her personality well. You know what? It didn’t matter to me.

 

Orn took care of me that night in a local hotel room. It was obviously a room where she and the other girls took their clients. She took care of me because I was drunk. I couldn’t “do it.” It being sex. It didn’t matter to me. I got to know her and liked her a lot. She was so easy going and I had that feeling that I’d known her in a previous life. It wasn’t just her looks that attracted me but she did turn me on with her Chinese eyes and that wonderful smile. There was simply something about her. We exchanged cell phone numbers before I left to go back to my hotel and face the music.

 

Needless to say I got the permafrost treatment from Noi. She had seen me leave the bar with Orn the previous night. I had committed the cardinal sin in that I had caused her a massive loss of face in front of her friends. The long drive back was hell. Noi hardly spoke to me and Pee Ning did the driving because of my hangover. He drove like a lunatic. That night I slept alone in our room while Noi stayed at Mama’s.

 

This was the beginning of the end for Noi and me. It didn’t take long for her and Pee Ning to start threatening me.

 

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2018-03-28 13:27:36 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Reading this blog sent me back on a road tour of my own life, because it reminded me, not for the first time, of how every bad decision I ever made in my adult life could be attributed to one of two things:

1. My little head making major decisions, such as which woman to marry, whether or not to have an affair, whether to break off a marriage, always based entirely upon how good or bad the sex was between us at that time, or

2. My big head making major decisions after the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol.

Had I avoided making major decisions in those situations or basedd on those criteria, my life would have gone a whole lot smoother than it did.

It seems that you had fallen into both those situations at the time you made the decision to head off with a hooker basically right in your wife's face. Of course her blunt statement that she was not going to sign the legal docs may have already taken the decision beyond your power to make it, but had you let Noi continue to get pissed while you went back to your room to sleep it off, maybe the next morning you could have successfully pushed, prodded, or pleaded Noi into succumbing and signing the docs.  

Probably not, but I guess we'll never know.

In any event, I have been almost exactly where you were, and my heart goes out to you. It is a crushing blow when what you think is your dream come true evolves into your worst nightmare. 

It is just one of the many ways in which life just sucks!

Thanks for sharing this.

#2018-03-28 13:44:43 by RHendry @RHendry

@JohnAbbot As regards 1. and 2. above - Mea Culpa Mea Maxima Culpa :)

#2018-03-28 18:01:27 by cuby @cuby

@ Ryan Hendry  Good for you, I would have done the same as I did the same in the past, drunk or not drunk, thinking with the little head or big head it doesn't matter.  The 5 hour drive back could been worse, with pent-up anger you would been highly frustated if you didn't have your "interaction" with Om. I am wondering how did Noi see you leave with Om? after you said your "goodby" in the bar, did Noi  follow you? 

After a situation like that it is crusial to check you food.

#2018-03-28 18:46:42 by Barry1 @Barry1

@RHendry

 

"I got even more pissed when I heard her say “I’m not going with you to see the lawyer. I am signing nothing.” This time there was no smile and no "darling." 

 

This statement must have come as a bombshell.  Yet Ryan, you didn't explain why the bomb was dropped?  The day had been a pleasant one for everyone up until the late evening.  I wonder if being somewhat inebriated, you had and Noi had argued, an argument that for some reason had flared up more emotively than expected, causing her to suddenly perform this shocking backflip?  This then begs the question that if you both had NOT argued, would she in turn have signed the document?

 

That night was indeed the best of times, and the worst of times. My sympathies, mate. |(

#2018-03-29 00:57:42 by anonymous16968 @anonymous16968

OH PHUCK!! I feel for you man, my cousin went through a very similar situation with a Filipino woman excepting the restaurant was a house for his woman's family. He then spent 4 years and about $25,000 US getting her and her son to the USA, after she got her green card(took 3 years or so) she then proceeded to clean him out over a 3 year span, called the police over 10 times on him claiming he beat her and was molesting her son, told his friends and their friends he was beating her and molesting her son. He spent upwards of 3 weeks total in jail as the police as we all know believe the woman everytime in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Well long story short, he lost everything because of her "10 year plan" When she was done with him she had the house, car, savings and pensions, he had his clothes, a beatup worktruck, what was left of his business(she had even called his clients) and luckily his family as they never doubted him.

Now a very good friend of mine is going through the similar situation with a Filipino woman. Unfortunately my buddy has his blinders on as a beautiful, young woman is in his life now, he is not very good looking at all but is fairlyy well off money wise. Now he knew my cousin quite well and what he went through, he refuses to see the similarities. He is 31 years older than her, she has a son from a previous relationship and now has two kids with my buddy, he has bought her and her family a very nice house in a gated community and sends over $1000US to her on a monthly basis, she comes to see him about every 3 months and he goes there as much as he can. She has a passport to here now. He pays for everything.

I advised him to be very careful citing what we both know happened to my cousin...BUT HE IS LEADING WITH HIS DICK NOT HIS BRAIN....

In about 3-5 years he will be penniless and his life will be totally ruined while she will be very well off in the Phillipines with his two kids.....

 

Count on it...

#2018-03-29 18:38:49 by Barry1 @Barry1

@RHendry

 

"The night wore on and we all had drunk mucho beer. Not just beer, but in some of the bars we were plied with “rocket fuel.” That’s a highly potent and extremely alcoholic liquor served in a small shot glass."

 

After perusing this article several times, I can see that the main culprit or factor involved was not directly either Ryan or Noi - but excessive alcohol consumption.  Not just on Ryan's part but most likely Noi as well.

 

Why do so many normally sensible people drink until they get well and truly plastered?

 

One of my part-time jobs is a DJ.  I enjoy playing loud music at weddings, parties, anything.  I've seen at first hand the horrible effects of alcohol, from a young lady having her face sliced open when a glass was smashed into her face through to fisticuff fights in the middle of a party through to screaming matches in the middle of a wedding reception.  As a DJ, I've even scored a direct fist punched into my face by a drunken slob who was later charged and convicted of assault.

 

I may be wrong - we'll never know  -  but my guess is that if both Ryan and Noi had imbibed just two or three drinks during the night, rather than heaps more than this, that Noi would have signed the agreement the next day and who knows, Ryan's life could've taken a completely different turn to how it eventually went down.  It was the mind altering effects of excessive alcohol that caused this fiasco.

 

What's the worst drug in the world?  Not marijuana, cocaine, speed, heroin, acid, methamphetimines, etc  - it is ALCOHOL.  Because it is legal and thus is so largely used - and abused. 

 

Fortunately Ryan has landed on his feet. Great to see. After separating from Noi, he now appears to be quite happy. But could he have been even happier, had both he and Noi been either non-drinkers or very sparing drinkers?   :^)

#2018-03-30 07:14:39 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

I hate to say it, but I saw this coming. Whether Noi was just a little drunk, or whether she was angry with you for wanting to go home as early as 10.30pm, matters not.

It was always her intention to get out of signing. You gave her the business, you gave her encouragement, and you gave her hope for her future life, so why does she NEED you anymore?

When you think about it, it all comes down to the ONE thing that matters most - MONEY !

Here in the West we drive to work in the car we haven't paid for, in order to do the job we need to do in order to pay for the car.

We work 2 days a week for the taxman, and hope we can save enough, from what we earn the other 3 days, in order to pay for a holiday once in a while.

 

A few short years ago I had the 'big house', the 'flash car', a million in the bank, etc, but was I TRULY happy? I thought so at the time......

Now, I am single, I live in a rented house, drive a 17 year-old car, and have a tiny bank balance, yet I am happier than I have EVER BEEN in my entire life.

 

Life only 'sucks' if you allow it to.....

John makes a good point about the fact you should have really gone back to the hotel instead of spending the night with Om, but we've all 'been there' after a few 'sherbets', lol.

 

#2018-03-30 14:02:28 by RHendry @RHendry

Interesting comments and I appreciate them all. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Should have... could have... etc. Not my style.

I treat people the way I like to be treated unless s$it upon from a great height :)

There is more to come and you may begin to see Noi in her true colors. Wait and see!

#2018-03-30 17:44:58 by melcyan @melcyan

@RHendry

Where did you make the biggest mistakes in this relationship? At the beginning or towards the end?  Most people make their biggest mistakes at the beginning of a relationship. I  know that was true of my previous relationships. The beginning of the relationship is the time that you are at your most flexible and tolerant. This is the best time to tackle difficult issues relating to aspirations, family, friends, values, money and how you will support each other.

 

Unfortunately, hope and fear often prevent us from doing the hard work that is needed at the beginning of the relationship that we want to last a lifetime. What is the worst that can happen after doing this hard work? The relationship ends early?

#2018-03-31 11:13:09 by anonymous16981 @anonymous16981

I found very interesting thing that few people mentioned how did Noi think about those documents about the restaurant on which she worked very hard.After she sign those documents,would she still be boss or just a waitress?

How old were you at that time, Ryan? I thought older man were wiser...

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