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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - Meeting The Family    

By Ryan Hendry
1137 Views | 4 Comments | 8/7/2016 1:17:06 PM

International Dating: My Story - Meeting The Family

It was sunset as I drove through the congested toll roads of Bangkok in the rented Hilux. The setting red sun shimmered and reflected on the plate glass of the high rise downtown buildings. It was going to take several hours to reach Noi’s home town of Kampheang Phet. I had the foresight to bring my GPS with me from England so I was confident that I would not get lost. Progress was slow on the toll roads, ironically called expressways, partly owing to the time of day as it was rush hour. Partly, owing to toll booths only being about two miles apart. I would stop at one and pay. In no time at all, I was forced to stop and pay at the next booth! And, the one after that!

 

Progress was made once I turned and headed north towards Nakhon Sawan and picked up the AH2 main highway. I was able to cruise at 60-70 mph comfortably. Our progress was only interrupted for a short pit stop break and what turned out to be a near miss! I failed to realize that the rear lights in front of me belonged to the last car in a stationary line of traffic. I braked heavily as it dawned upon me that I needed to stop. The back end of the Hilux did a kind of cha-cha dance all on its own. Fortunately, it cancelled itself out and I came to a halt in a straight line. It was a warning and I slowed down for the remainder of the journey. I was tired and took it easy.

 

Noi was as cool as a cucumber when the car did its little dance. I made a mental note. It was refreshing not to have a western woman screaming at me because I had made an error at the steering wheel. We arrived safely at the hotel in Kampheang Phet about 10 pm. I parked outside of the hotel main entrance but we didn’t get chance to walk inside. Kamon ran over to her favorite aunt and threw herself in Noi’s arms. It was a touching sight.

 

The hotel, the largest and best in town, was 500 baht a night - £10 or $15. This was another welcome feature of non-tourist Thailand. I checked in with Noi, with Kamon in close proximity. The room was good. It was clean and we left our bags there to unpack later. A large bar, restaurant and music venue was set next to the hotel and car park. That’s where we went to meet some of Noi’s family.

 

I had learned from Noi that she had two brothers, three sisters, a niece and her father. Her mother had died some six years earlier. One of the sisters was Kamon’s mother, but she lived in Bangkok. She was a drunk and had a drug habit. One brother was a Bangkok taxi driver and the other was a mystery man. No one knew of his whereabouts or what he was doing. The remaining sister was married but had no children. Her name was Som. I was grateful to Noi for the family background as I was aware of the importance of family in life in Asia.

 

Som was sat outside of the bar with her husband, Mong. Noi introduced me to both of them. Som spoke English quite well. We ordered shrimp and vegetable tempura and beers. Then some more beers. It was a pleasant evening. What is more, I liked Noi’s family. They seemed decent enough and were good company. Mong worked in construction so had an early start the next day. Accordingly, they all left us about 11.30 pm and we returned to the hotel room.

 

The hotel breakfast was excellent, and cheap! It was a typical Asian style buffet with as many coffee refills as you wished for. It was a great start to the day. It took me about 45 minutes to drive to the village where Noi’s father lived. It was to the west of the town towards the Khlong Wang Chao National Park and in the direction of the Myanmar border. His house was set back from the road and looked substantial though in a state of disrepair. Noi told me she had lived there since she was born to the day she left Kampheang Phet.

 

Her father spoke no English. He looked much older than his years. There were about three teeth left in his mouth. Now I knew why Thais asked the farang if they had false teeth. He spent most of the day laying in the hammock slung between two trees in the yard, smoking cigarettes or napping. A stack of old lumber adorned one corner of the yard. There were what looked like rusty motorcycle parts in another corner. Clearly he was also fond of his whiskey. No sooner had we arrived, then Noi had asked me for some money to buy whiskey for her father. I gave her some money and a few moments later she re-appeared holding the bottle. Dad offered me some and I obliged him. I was keen to comply with every aspect of Asian culture! I never got to know Dad’s name, then or in the future.

 

Som lived in the same house. She cooked a meal and we all ate. Som talked to me a while. Just general stuff. Where are you from? That sort of thing. She was pleasant throughout. Mong was at work so I did not see him that day. However, we returned the next day and Som suggested we go to see Mong where he was working. It was about 20 minutes’ drive so I willingly agreed. I noticed Noi frown when I had agreed to go. I thought nothing of it.

 

Noi, Som, Kamon and I got out of the Hilux on reaching Mong’s place of work. He was building a 3-bedroom house and the shell had been completed. He took me for a tour of the shell proudly pointing out his fine workmanship. Noi was frowning again.

 

We returned to Noi’s father’s home and said our goodbyes. But before I drove off Som approached me. The gist of what she told me was this house that Mong was working on was for sale. She mentioned a price and said it was a bargain. Clearly she was trying to make a sale.

 

Alone with Noi and driving back to the hotel, I said, “What’s the matter?” Back came the reply, “My sister tell you wrong price.” “What do you mean?” Noi started to sob, “She add thousands to price to you. So she make money.”

 

I was impressed. Noi had forewarned me of her sister’s plan to stiff me out of some money. Things were looking good for Noi and me.

 

Have you had similar experiences with your Asian partner’s family? Is this typical of SE Asian culture? Let’s hear about it.

 

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(Showing 1 to 4 of 4) 1
#2016-08-07 13:33:48 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Ryan, I'm curious about one thing. I don't remember now if you've ever indicated when these events happened, but it has been at least 14 years now since Thailand passed the law that foreigners can't own land in Thailand. That prevented individual expats from buying anything but Condos (Apartments).

There is a way around it, but it involves incorporating and then having a Thai person hold your shares "In Trust" for you. Usually that would be either your lawyer or your Thai girlfriend, and most guys were not going to trust either of those parties to not screw them.

So if Som and Mong were going to try to sell the house to you, presumably they expected you to either trust a lawyer or trust Noi with holding your corporation in trust, or they were anticipating you marrying Noi and then having the house in her name as your wife. Do you know what they had in mind in that regard?

Or, if this happened quite recently, did they change the law in Thailand to allow Expats to own land again? 

#2016-08-07 13:54:14 by RHendry @RHendry

@JohnAbbot Excellent point! As far as I am aware the Thai laws have not changed. They remain as you stated. The readers will have to wait for future developments to find out more about the legal issues of owning property in Thailand as a farang (foreigner).

#2016-08-08 01:49:09 by anonymous15362 @anonymous15362

the gate was partially open, now the gates are fully open. I shuddered as soon as you said she frowned..I hope I am wrong in what I have sensed from your first entry in this blog series but I have a bad feeling...(rain)

#2016-08-08 16:21:02 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

I used to love Thailand. It's a beautiful country with clean beaches and lush surroundings. But alas, all leopards show their spots eventually.

 

Western people per se, are not really welcome in Thailand. Male or female, the Thai people see us as nothing other than a 'walking-wallet'.

 

Older western men are a walking ATM machine and their Thai ladies have 'magic vaginas' from which come cars, jewelry, houses and even businesses.

 

I firmly believe that if the Thai people had their way, aeroplanes carrying western tourists would simply fly into Thai airspace, and all the people on board would just simply toss their wallets and purses out of the plane. Life for Thai people would be so much easier with no farangs to deal with. (finger)

 

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