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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - Business Is Booming

By Ryan Hendry
551 Views | 3 Comments | 1/8/2018 2:58:08 PM
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The Honda dealer threw in a carrier basket. That was handy for Noi to transport the vegetables from market to the restaurant. Noi told me she was a good cook and she was right. Her food was delicious and enjoyed by all. The only drawback? It was a long day. She would set off for market about 5.30 every morning then cook the first rice and breakfasts of the day. It would be busy until about ten and slack off for a while. The rest of the day had spurts of activity. One minute, no customers then five or six would show out of nowhere.



Noi’s use of the motorbike didn’t last too long. In the end it spent more time parked at Mama’s than on the road. I have to admit, I found that annoying. It wasn’t as if I had money to burn. I became more annoyed when Noi took the car to set off early. That left me stuck in the room. It then became a habit for Pee Ning to pick me up about 10.30 to take me to the restaurant to eat. I felt like my car was being taken over. I didn’t like that. My breakfast cooked by Noi was one of the highlights of the day. I did enjoy it. Most days it was fried rice mixed with vegetables and chicken. Always with a fried egg on top. She knew I liked that. Sometimes she would make me a vegetable or shrimp tempura.



After breakfast, I would sit around for a while but Noi was often too busy to chat. Yes, I understood that but it was also a source of minor irritation to me. When boredom set in, I would drive off in my car. I had a sense of freedom getting back in the D Max. My routine became the same every day. Picked up at the room, have breakfast then drive off in the car. Occasionally the routine was broken. Usually when Noi needed something.



One of the first things she needed was extra seating for the restaurant. It was getting busier by the week. We drove to an area besides the main road between Songkhla and Hat Yai. Both sides of the road had stalls selling bamboo or nipa huts. A kind of an all in one affair that included a roof and bench seating. We ordered two of them and they arrived the next week. The restaurant now seated nearly thirty people. Business was booming.



Every evening about six pm I would return to the restaurant. I changed this to arriving later as Noi was often still busy at six. It became my habit to return about 8 pm. Noi had finished for the day but we would remain and have a few beers. This became the time when I got to know Pee Ning and Wirat better. Both were in their thirties but as brothers they were chalk and cheese. Wirat the quiet type, a man of few words but with a ready smile and good sense of humor. He spoke little English. Pee Ning spoke more English but always insisting I learn Thai.



Pee Ning was the extrovert. I learned that he had been in a serious car crash some years before that had left him with a head injury. The legacy of that was that he sometimes suffered from epileptic fits. I also found out he had a somewhat checkered past. The story goes that he worked for the Thai mafia based in Phattalung. They operated all over southern Thailand. It was said he was a kind of enforcer. There was even a suggestion that he had been a contract killer. I have no idea if these stories were true. Yet, I did begin to believe there was substance to them when he offered to supply me with a semi-automatic gun. It was a serious offer but I declined.



His brother, Wirat, had a regular job. He worked in a builders’ yard. Pee Ning did not work but always had money. That did make me think there was some truth in the gangster stories. I was told that he was on some kind of retainer even though he no longer worked for the mob.



These stories and alleged mafia connections never fazed me. I accepted the story that Noi’s connection with Mama was through Nit. The daughter, Nit, had worked with Noi at one time in Phuket. I had no reason to suspect a thing. Mama, Nit and Noi had no control over what Pee Ning may have done or not done for a living.



These evening drinking sessions were enjoyable for a number of reasons. Besides helping me get to know the brothers better, I also had the chance to catch up with Noi. We often went on to another restaurant nearer to our room after we left the company of Pee Ning and Wirat. The enabled us to chat some more. The trouble was that she was often too tired following a long day at the restaurant. She would use this opportunity to count up the takings for the day. That brought a smile to her face. As I say, business was booming. Making money is a common denominator in all cross cultural issues.



During one of these sessions alone Noi broached the subject of buying land. She told me that Mama’s sister owned the chanote for the lot next to Mama’s house. A chanote is a Thai legal document denoting ownership of land and property. I showed interest and said, “How much?” Noi answered that she didn’t know but would find out.



As was our usual practice it was back to the room after our restaurant visit. Noi was so tired she used to fall asleep immediately. We may have gone through the village wedding ceremony but so far our marriage was missing a key ingredient. This was not one of the Asian wedding traditions I was anticipating.



Soon our plans to build a home would materialize. Life would get even busier and I felt in the way. Apart from a few hours spent in Noi’s company, the days, especially in the room, were boring. I needed a change of scenery - to see another Asian culture. I decided to fly to Bali - alone.



Note: The featured image and the lady in it are not the business or the lady subject of this article.


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 3 of 3) 1
#2018-01-08 14:57:57 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I am surprised by Noi. This is not meant as a slight against either culture, but based on my own experiences, Noi sounds more Chinese than Thai.  She is hard working to the point of letting nothing else matter so long as business is good and money is coming in. That seems more like a Chinese trait, be it male or female. In my experience of Thai women, they tended to be much more laid back. Perhaps this is an overstatement, but the Thai women I knew would have worked hard until they had made enough to meet their immediate needs, and then it would have been time to close up shop until the next day. Noi, on the other hand, was putting in a lot of overtime to get ahead.

The other thing I can't help but feel is that my comments on the last article about how enjoyable it must have been to watch her setting up the little restaurant were obviously a little premature. Obviously watching her go through the daily grind of running a small restaturant from dawn until dusk was not an enjoyable experience, and it would have been like death to me, to have to sit around with nothing to do and just waiting for a couple of hours together when she was too tired to enjoy those hours anyway.

I am curious though. Did you not feel either the desire nor a duty to join in and take part in the operation of the restaurant? Or was Noi intentionally holding you back from doing so?

In any event, the upcoming trip to Bali on your own is obviously foreboding. You have my curiosity running high.

#2018-01-14 17:12:33 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Yes, another compelling chapter of this page-turner. 

@JohnAbbot: I know several Thai women who in fact fit the description of Noi in terms of compulsively hard work. My not exactly vast experience with Thai women and somewhat more extensive experience with Chinese women causes me to state that one difference is that these type of women are the exception in Thailand but the rule in China.

#2018-01-15 06:51:32 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@JohnAbbot

My friend has owned a bar in Phuket for a number of years. He is Australian.

One morning he arrived at his bar only to find a load of 'rubbish' had been placed next to it by some workers who were re-tiling the adjacent building. My friend moved the rubbish.

He was then arrested and threatened with deportation. His 'crime'? - Failing to employ a Thai to remove the rubbish.

I suggest that it's the same reason why our friend here could not help Noi in the restaurant

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