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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - Beautiful Asian Women Are Not Afraid Of Hard Work

By Ryan Hendry
302 Views | 2 Comments | 12/24/2017 7:35:38 AM

When your new Asian wife is working hard to make a better life, a motorbike for her is a small price to pay.

I moved forwards in trust but never in blind faith. I did not have a fortune at my disposal so I had to trust but also be wary at the same time. The serious commitments to the restaurant venture and a new house could not be taken lightly. I was aware of some of the horror stories involved in dating Asian women, and Thai women in particular. I had read the blog articles and the best-selling book on the subject. I hoped and prayed I wasn’t about to sleepwalk into a nightmare. I have a trusting nature. I tend to trust people until I find out otherwise. That’s the way I am. I knew that so why worry about the future?

The next few weeks were all go. In the main it was all about the restaurant. This is what we decided. Or, rather Noi decided and I went along with the plan. Mama had a good few yards of empty space in front of her house. The idea was to build a roadside restaurant there. At present it remained empty and had a rough gravel covering. A few chickens ran around and Mama had some colorful flower borders down one side. Apart from that it was under used. Mama was keen on the idea too. She would eventually receive some rent from Noi for the use of the land.

Noi worked damn hard making it happen. First, we bought some bags of cement. Mixed them with water and Noi levelled the whole yard by hand herself. Every time I offered to lend a hand, I was told to sit down and talk to Mama. Trouble was that Mama didn’t speak English! So, I sat. Watched. And, admired her hard work. I had no idea when I embarked on international online dating that this was part of the package! I did not complain. My function was to act as the errand boy. If she needed nails, I drove off to buy them. Chicken soup from the town, that was my job. And, not forgetting the most important function - I was the financier.

We had by now stayed in the hotel for a week. The front yard at Mama’s had been transformed into a smooth cement surface. Complete with chicken footprints! I told Noi we had to find somewhere to rent. She downed tools for a whole day searching for a place. Pee Ning came with us. Mama and Pee Ning had family in this area. It was time to enlist their help. They identified a place just off the main road in the neighboring town. The one before you arrived in Songkhla. They called it a ‘room to rent.’ In fact, it was three rooms. There was a living area, one bedroom and a kitchen. The price was right and we were given the key. The next day we spent moving in together with our belongings. We had a base.

The next phase of restaurant building then started. Noi needed a covered area for the kitchen and serving counter. It would also cover and shade a few tables and chairs for customers. We made several trips in the truck to buy the timber, more nails and the tin roofing sheets. Help in the form of Mama’s two sons and her son-in-law ensured that the structure was up in three days. Dorn, the son-in-law, was amazing. He was a carpenter by trade and it showed. He was also highly agile and could easily balance on a piece of timber 4x2 when twelve feet up in the air. The restaurant started to take shape.

I bought some ice chests and a few trestle tables and now the kitchen area was also taking shape. A trip to Hat Yai successfully located a four ring gas stove. Noi ran some wiring from the house and installed some lighting. It was almost time to open for business. But not before we did a deal with the local Coca-Cola driver. He supplied us with a large commercial refrigerator. We could now display and sell soda and beers.

A time for reflection. This is yet another vast difference between life in Asia and life in the west. Think of all the permits and other bureaucracy involved in doing the same thing in Europe or North America. Us westerners are regulated to hell and back. You want to open a restaurant in Thailand - build it! I did hope it was going to be a case of the Kevin Costners - build it and they will come! I had no need to worry. Within a few short weeks the restaurant filled up with paying customers.

It helped trade that the new roadside restaurant sat alongside a road used by landfill tipper-trucks. About three or four of them thundered by every hour of every day back and forth. Filling up with gravel and clay landfill at a quarry about 15 miles away then travelling to building sites in the Songkhla area. The trucks’ loads used for both landfill and road ballast. Once Noi placed an A-board sign on the road advertising the restaurant, they stopped. Stopped and ate.

Locals began to eat there. Either eat there or take the food away. Noi got a regular order from the local Buddhist temple too. That order meant she had to leave our room early, buy fresh vegetables at the market then cook. She used to leave at 5.30 every morning. At first I would take her in the D Max. Then she took pity on me, having me up and about so early. I didn’t really mind but she thought it a good idea for her to have her own motorbike. I agreed and spent 30,000 baht (about £450) on a nice 12-month old Honda 125 cc.

These were busy days and enjoyable.


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#2017-12-24 07:34:00 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Ryan, this is an amazing experience you've just described, and I envy you for having this memory in your bank. By that I mean watching this beautiful woman that you loved building her dream right before your eyes, and getting to contribute to it, must have been a really pleasurable experience. As you indicate those days were enjoyable.

Reading about it gives me a strong sense of that pleasure.

I have similar good memories myself, and when they come back to me in quiet moments, it makes the price I paid to gain them seem not quite so onerous. But in the case of some of those memories, while they remind me that the woman with whom I experienced them was not all bad, and the memory is, itself, pleasant, the price paid was damned high. 

So I guess the question now is, knowing all that has since passed and what you know now, is the memory still pleasurable for you, or is it more a reminder of the pain that followed. Maybe, like myself, now that I am in a good place, you are able to look back at this time and enjoy it, since you also are back in a good place.

But I'd be interested to know how you feel about it all in hindsight. And I guess that is likely where you'll end up with these blogs and that's when we'll find out how you feel about it all in hindsight But would you care to give us a hint. Are these memories you're describing painful, or are they good memories for you?

#2017-12-26 06:33:18 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

The movie quote is 'build it and HE will come' - I hope you had more than ONE customer, lol.Enjoyable read, but like John, I'm curious to know if this memory is painful or not.

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