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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story – Bali Break

By Ryan Hendry
440 Views | 4 Comments | 2/16/2018 10:15:52 PM
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Once more I got busy on the internet. Where would we all be without it? It’s a godsend for expats living in a foreign country as it’s a source of information in addition to keeping in touch with friends new and old. And, of course it’s essential for online dating but I no longer have use for the dating site I used to use. But I digress! Bali?

 

I used the internet to make my flight reservations to Bali. The plan was to hook up with old friends from Australia on vacation there. That was one attraction plus I had never been there before. The other reason was to escape the boredom setting in. Noi was as busy as ever running the restaurant and I seemed to spend less and less time in her company except for late evenings. Worse was the fact she was tired every evening. Too tired to …. well you know what I mean.

 

The Bali reservations were completed, flights and hotel booked to coincide with my friends’ stay at a villa in Seminyak. I had a whale of a time. The trip took my mind off Thailand for a while. The trouble was, the week flashed by. Time to travel back but not before buying mementos to give as gifts to Noi and her friends.

 

Noi met me at Hat Yai airport with Pee Ning driving my car. I was getting pissed about that as he seemed to use it more than me. Anyways, we drove back to the restaurant and I distributed the mementos, some car key rings and bottle openers with ‘I love Bali’ printed on them. The ladies found the bottle openers hilarious as they came shaped like an oversize penis and testicles at the end you hold. Thailand is no different than many other cultures. It seems to be a cross cultural thing to snigger at any kind of sexual innuendo whether in the form of a smutty joke or in this case a bottle opener – all good clean, if smutty, fun!

 

Within days we were back into the same old routine. Noi up at the crack of dawn to go to market to buy vegetables. Then she would drive to the restaurant and cook, cook and cook some more. Me? I was left in the room as per until Pee Ning deemed it time to pick me up in my car. Yes, my car! But you wouldn’t have thought so as I seemed to have lost control over it. As I say, it did make me pissed especially when the motorcycle I had bought Noi was just parked up and unused.

 

It’s fair to say at this stage I was becoming more and more agitated. I had been back from Bali about two weeks when Noi smiled at me and said, “Darling, about the lot.” By now I knew she wanted something. And by now, I also knew that something was to do with money especially when accompanied by a beautiful Thai smile.

 

To jog your memory, I had said earlier Noi was interested in a lot that lay adjacent to Mama’s home and right next to where the restaurant now thrived. Now she was telling me it belonged to Mama’s sister and she was prepared to sell to Noi. I agreed and told her to proceed. At the same time I told Noi I had been doing some homework on property law in Thailand. I told her there was a legal device which protected me as a foreigner. The lease type agreement meant I could legally live in the property, our future home, for 30 years. I said to her, “the thing is you need to sign the lease agreement as the chanote will be in your name. You will need to come to the law office with me and sign it in front of witnesses.” “No problem, darling,” she smiled as she answered me.

 

The purchase of the lot came to pass. Noi was now the owner of a parcel of land next to Mama’s house and the restaurant. In fact, it cost me nothing. The owner and a relative of Mama’s was sick and in hospital. In effect she gifted it to Noi as a wedding present. Now our thoughts turned to construction and the type of home we wanted to build. Like many things in life in Asia there is always someone in the family or extended family who can build a house, fix a car or do almost anything you need doing. That’s the way it is. It came as no surprise to me that Mama had a cousin twice removed who had a construction company.

 

There was no point talking to him until we had a fixed idea on the type of house. As luck would have it, we found one that we loved. It was during a visit to Mama’s son-in-law’s home I spotted a newly built house. It was single story and finished in a pleasant pink pastel color. I stopped the car and Noi and I spoke with the construction workers putting the finishing touches to the house. “Okay if we take a look inside?” I guess that’s what Noi asked as we went inside the house. It was beautiful. It was spacious and fitted with quality floor tiles and high class hardwood fittings and fixtures. Outside it had a typical overhang outside the front porch and a car port area to shield the car from the fierce sunlight. We said our thank you to the builders and went to the son-in-law’s home a few hundred yards distant.

 

Once more we were in luck. Dorn, the son-in-law, told us he knew the new owner of the house and thought he could get us the architect’s plans. He did and the new owner wanted no payment. Once back at the restaurant we met up with our contractor, Mama’s distant cousin. He surveyed the plans and did a lot of nodding. Eventually he gave me a price to build to the same specification and as per plan. Agreed! For a fraction of the price in the UK, I would be living with Noi in our beautiful new home.

 

The landfill operation started the next week in readiness for the start of construction.

 

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(Showing 1 to 4 of 4) 1
#2018-02-16 22:15:39 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Yikes. This is definitely sounding like financial disaster in the making. Although the fact that Noi was gifted the lot sounds good. At least she was contributing something to the cause.

I have never heard of the law in Thailand that a husband would have the right to live in the wife's house (at least the house in her name) if properly executed. But I don't see that having much value if you can no longer stomach living with the wife, or with her many family members she would no doubt invite to live with her in order to make your life miserable.

Somehow, reading this, I can't help feeling the race is on as to which will be completed first, the construction of the new house or the destruction of your recent marriage. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

#2018-02-18 01:52:08 by anonymous16891 @anonymous16891

You are a very patient man........I truly hope things start to look up for you at this point in the story but somehow I am don't think it will. Curious how did Noi handle you heading off to Bali without her?

#2018-02-18 06:51:10 by melcyan @melcyan

Ryan, over the course of this series, I have read your bio on the left side of your story many, many times. I have to. I know this story will not end well but reading the bio enables me to let go and enjoy your words knowing that you eventually end up in a good place.

 

You have a way of stimulating many tangential thoughts for me, like in this episode

- what an amazing resource the internet is

- gifts for friends and relatives  (on my trips to China my partner had so many gifts for friends and relatives that I was restricted to carry-on luggage for all of my gear.)

#2018-02-20 16:36:15 by anonymous16893 @anonymous16893

When my wife came to the US for our wedding, she had to buy lots of gifts for students, friends, colleagues and family. She loved the Dollar Store as she was able to save lots of money and get lots of giffts. One of her student's mother wanted her to buy a Coach purse, belt and  some expensive bras. My wife spent over $500 of her own money (she was eventually reimbursed) for a woman she barely knows. Then the lady had the gaul to complain about the price. My mom told my wife that it was ridiculous for a person to expect her to buy some expensive bras without knowing her size and the fact that they're different in the States. As newlyweds we had to use our own precious time purchasing these items.

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