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Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - Asian Dating Scene    

By Ryan Hendry
1599 Views | 2 Comments | 7/5/2016 2:50:30 PM

asian dating scene

This first time and my first month in Thailand also had their serious moments. It’s true to say the whole month had a holiday feel to it. Hell, Phuket is a great choice for a vacation. And, it’s even better if you are sharing that time with a Thai lady of your choice.



Noi was my choice out of a shortlist of about one dozen that I chatted with on the international dating site. She was easy going and did everything possible to please me. That in itself made a welcome change from my previous experiences with western women! But, I wasn’t lulled into a false sense of security. I can’t say that I was consciously looking for flaws in either her “story” or her personality. It simply didn’t happen that way. I was at all times completely relaxed. I enjoyed her company and the sights, smells and sounds of a new country. Yet, deep down I knew I was storing information and impressions wherever we went or whatever we discussed. I was savvy (to borrow a word from Capn’ Jack Sparrow) enough to realize that I was her route to some kind of financial security. I wasn't thinking 'scammers.'



Guys, I said it earlier in this series and it’s worth repeating. Maybe your Asian lady does love you for who you are. I hope she does. At the same time do not be blinded by love. You. the westerner, are the meal ticket! And, will always be viewed as the ‘walking ATM’ by friends and family of the one you fall deeply in love with.



The first few days in Phuket flew by. We started to plan what to do following my birthday treat for Noi in the luxury beachside hotel. She was understandably anxious for me to visit her home town of Kampheang Phet in the north of Thailand. I was keen on the idea too, as it would give me a ‘feel’ for the Thailand outside of the touristy Phuket area. I needed to experience the ‘real’ Thailand. We still had plenty to see and do in Phuket before our trip north.



One of the highlights of my first two weeks was time spent with Noi’s friend, Annie, and her family in Phuket. Annie owned a beauty parlor in Patong. The place is full of them. Thai women are no different than western women - they love to have a coiffure at the salon. Her friend’s salon was typical in offering hair treatments, pedicures and manicures. I had a pedicure and I loved it. My feet were soaked in a bowl of warm water, soaped up then washed by one of the female assistants. Then my nails were cut, cuticles scraped and even the hard skin on the soles of my feet were treated. It was refreshing and invigorating. 



It was also a place to gossip.



Naturally enough as the farang, I was often the center of that gossip. I started to learn a few basic words of Thai through my visits to the salon. I also began to learn that Thai people ask westerners the most personal questions. Questions that most westerners would deem as too personal. A classic example of that is when I was asked if I had false teeth. I was asked that same question by countless Thai people as time went by. They also seemed to want to know how old I was and if I had kids back in England. These were stock questions that I always got when meeting new Thai people. I think they have a fascination for age as many Thai people look old at fifty! I believe that they find it difficult to comprehend why many older farangs look so much healthier and younger than many Thais who are in fact much younger.



Annie’s husband, Che, was a motorbike taxi driver in Patong and between them they had three children including the latest addition who was a few months old. All of them lived in a one-bedroom apartment above the salon together with Annie’s sister. But, they seemed happy and life appeared to be harmonious for them despite the cramped living arrangements. Early evening was relaxing time and we all sat outside the salon next to the busy narrow street. This was the time to eat street food and drink a beer or two. There were a constant stream of street food vendors selling all varieties of Thai street food. Once, I was brave enough to try deep fried silk worm. They were delicious!



Noi arranged for a day out to tour the southern side of the island. Che, had a Pajero and Noi negotiated a price for him to be our driver for the day. I was paying, of course. We turned up at the salon on the appointed day and I was taken aback to find that it wasn’t only Noi and I going on the day trip. The car was already full of excited kids, Che, Annie and her sister! I soon learned this was the Thai (read Asian) way! It was one great day out. I again got to sit in the front passenger seat to accommodate my long western legs. Che’s English was okay, no doubt from his years’ as an experienced local motorbike taxi driver dealing with countless numbers of foreign tourists. It was normal ‘man talk’ and soon got around to cars. He seemed to be genuinely interested in my views as to certain makes of car, particularly Ford. He was thinking about buying a Ford Ranger pick-up truck as his next car.



I felt part of the purpose of this day trip was for Noi’s friends to assess me.  


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#2016-07-05 15:01:16 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

You know, I am surprised to hear that fiftyish Thai people tend to look older than they are. I did't get that impression when I was frequently there, but I admit that I very rarely asked or had any reason to know a person's age. The Thai woman I dated was in her mid-thirties and looked about right for that age, or perhaps a little younger.

That certainly sets them apart from Chinese people though who tend to look much younger than they are, I am not sure what to attribute it too because as far as diet goes I think Thai food stands out as being exceptionally healthy generally.

I guarantee that one of the reasons for the trip, if not the only reason, was to give a number of friends and family a chance to view you in action. So what was your feeling about their impressions of you, what did Noi report to you about that and what were your impressions of them at the same time?

#2016-07-05 15:20:40 by RHendry @RHendry

@JohnAbbot I agee Thai food is healthy. Yet, there is an ever increasing proliferation of Western junk food. I can't blame that for Thais say over 50 looking older than a typical Westerner but it will certainly have an impact on the younger generations.

In part answer to your questions, I thought they thought I was OK. They laughed at my jokes even when I am sure they hadn't got a clue what I was talking about :) Noi said nothing but I knew she was relaxed, so all was good. My impressions of them? That would be a spoiler!

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