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John Abbot is co-owner of ChinaLoveMatch.net. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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Funeral for a Friend - All are Welcome!

By John Abbot
2281 Views | 5 Comments | 2/27/2015 10:56:57 AM

This funeral comes too early, decades more should have passed. We feel cheated of your wisdom our friend, we feel lost in the dark without your light.

It seems so tragic to be announcing this funeral so early in a good man's life. There are men one might say of, "Died at 46 years you say? Oh, well, no great loss to the world." But Gareth was not such a man, he was not among that number! Gareth has given us much of himself, and yet he had so much more to give.



I was waiting for a great book from Gareth, anticipating it, I believed he would write a truly magnicent ode to China, describing her as only he could, somehow conveying every wart and every battle scar, every weakness and every flaw as if painting a masterpiece. And yet doing so with such a quiet and unconditional love for this great country, that the warts and scars, the weaknesses and flaws, would fade away into the background, leaving us to stare into our imaginations and conjure up before us, guided by Gareth's illuminating prose, a vision of the grandest of ladies the world has known.



That, to me, was Gareth's China and Gareth's way. In simple words, but so elegantly expressed, he saw and described everything about China, he spared no ugliness, but when all was said and done, you left his writings seeing and remembering only the beauty of China. You not only forgave all the wrongs, but came to find them somehow endearing.



I loved Gareth's blogs. It is my habit to monitor and approve the blogs and forum every night as the last thing I do before going to bed. I am not an early riser but I still put in full days, so on good days, I get to the blogs between 10 PM and Midnight and on bad days as late as 4 AM with eyes I can barely keep open. But, regardless of the hour, when I clicked on that button and opened the blogs to find one of Gareth's sitting there, never did a smile fail to come to my face. Never!



Those moments brought me great pleasure! Hence my full expectation that one day Gareth would pen the best book yet written in English about his great China, and I was anxious to be among the first to inhale his simple wisdom and read that book. I doubt that I will ever again push that button without thinking to myself, no chance now for a blog by Gareth.



We have been cheated of much by a good man's early demise, far, far too early. I for one resent it, I don't understand it, I am struggling with it. Gareth and I were not close friends, we lived within 100 miles of each other but never got together to meet, things just seemed to keep getting in the way. But I held, and still hold, a profound respect for Gareth, a true deep liking of him, and sometimes as I mentioned earlier, a sort of almost paternal pride in "Gareth, my blogger", because it was so readily apparent that within him was a truly good man. There were no ifs, no ands and no buts about it, Gareth simply was a very, very good man.



His family has lost so much by his early passing, we friends have lost so much, and even great China has lost so much, for there are few friends of China who understand her so well, and who bred it into the hearts af all of us around him.



So with immense regret I advise you on behalf of his family that Gareth's funeral will be this Sunday, March 1st, at 10:30 AM. Please see the posting above for more details. His family advises me that all are welcome, the more the better, to the Service and Cremation at the Funeral Home, but that the burial will be a private ceremony for family only.



I regret to say that my wife and I are on an extended tour of the Americas and will not be able to attend, but our hearts and our thoughts will be there, wishing Gareth a new and wonderful beginning which he surely will have. 


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 5 of 5) 1
#2015-02-27 11:59:11 by melcyan @melcyan

To the immediate and extended family of Gareth Humphris I offer my sincere condolences.

John, if Janet does not already have access to your blog "We Have All Lost a Dear Friend and a Guiding Light" and its comments then could you email her a copy please?

#2015-02-27 13:43:46 by Barry1 @Barry1

Here's a quote from a wise man who speaks more eloquently than I ever could:


"“I am always saddened by the death of a good person.

It is from this sadness though that a feeling of gratitude emerges.

I feel honored to have known them and blessed that their passing serves as a reminder to me that my time on this beautiful Earth is limited and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love.

I can think of no greater way to honor the deceased than to live this way.”


Bless you, Gareth.

#2015-02-27 18:17:59 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

To John and all
I have written to Janet today and expressed my sadness at not being able to attend the funeral on Sunday. Sadly I am in Hong Kong until Monday night and I can't get away.
I have suggested that she reads the tributes here and maybe she can read some of them out at Gareth's funeral
John, I never had the pleasure of meeting his wife so any questions etc I guess should be sent via Janet
However it would be awesome if we could make sure his wife knew what we have all been saying about her late husband.

#2015-02-27 20:36:17 by olayoil @olayoil

i would like to contact his wife ,because we are in a same city ,but i think this time she is sad and busy ...has no emotion to meet. others...

i would like to attend his funeral ,and place a wreath if i could,,,but i worry i am a stranger to them...

May his soul rest in peace! and bless his family .....

#2015-02-28 23:54:50 by sandy339 @sandy339

Ok, it is not our custom to say some words at funeral, but I managed to write something to Gareth’s sister, and hope she could know Gareth Humphris is an important and great contributer here.

A western friend said the value of life is to help others, I thought it a lot, because in our culure a lot of people think the free and careless life might be what one expects (that is the very essence of Daoism.) As a western guy, Gareth contributed a lot here to help so many people to understand the different cultures and mindsets both in Western and Eastern world. In this sense I do think Gareth lived a very valuable life.

Being a satirical gentleman, Gareth did his last best shot on the world by making more people move his body and pay the same price for his cremation, Good Job Gareth.(This might be the last joke I could ever make fun of him.) Again may Gareth release from earthly cares and rest in peace...

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