Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Bren is presently married to a Chinese woman after meeting her on CLM. He's a Production Manager/Designer by profession. He enjoys writing on topics of personal experience and observation. From the "meet & greet" to "married life" with an intercontinental relationship, he hopes to create interest and discussion with all of you. Feel free to say, "Hi!" He also welcomes your messages, questions and feedback through CLM (thedragonb1).
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First Impressions    

By Bren
5911 Views | 6 Comments | 10/25/2011 12:48:59 AM

Bad date/first impression image

Been Chinese dating a while and now you're thinking about your first meeting with your favorite western or Chinese date? Are you thinking about your first impression? What will you wear? How will you do your hair (for those with hair)? Are you going to live up to your photos? I hope so. This is the time to see if you match the person in the photos on your profile. This is also for the men as well as the women because a lot of the men look tired and raggedy as hell on here! (Go look at your photos and see for yourself! Haaaha- Make an effort and try to spruce yourself up and take new photos!) For those who have good photos on your profile...sure, your photos have you looking beautiful and sexy, but what is the REAL DEAL when looking in the mirror? No, not 3 years ago, but right now? Go look. I'll wait till you come back...

Ok, so you looked... now look at those photos again. Do you see the same person as your photos represent?! Don't kid yourselves thinking and saying you look the same if you do not. Better think about it before you step out for that first meeting. Remember this is meeting a potentially future love. You know the old wise saying, "The first impression is the most important." Or is it, "You only get one chance to make a good first impression"? Whatever it is...follow them both! The statement is true. People you first meet you have no choice but to make a quick assumption and unconsciously do judge who you are by how you LOOK at first sight! If you're a guy, believe me your Chinese date will be looking at you with a critical eye.

Sure if you have the time, you can find out a bit more of the person's personality and truly make a better judgement of character, but you usually do not have the luxury. So make no qualms about it, when you first meet someone they are judging you by how you look RIGHT then and there. Are you dressed nice? Wearing a lovely shirt and tie or ripped t-shirt with a god-awful stain looking like a slob who hasn't washed in 30 days? Is your hair pulled back in a non-stylish quick ponytail while wearing a sweatshirt and sneakers as if you are doing some casual weekend shopping? Everything, and every little detail how you look is being taken into consideration when others first meet you.

So what are you going to do? I have heard the horror stories from the guys meeting the women that truly do not live up to their photographs! I'm sure men are guilty of this just as well. I have my own experiences. Which is why I never "faked the funk" when I was single. I put up recent photos of myself and changed them month to month. I didn't want the embarrassment of not looking like I do daily. Last thing I want is to meet a woman and she says, "WOW, you are nothing like your photos!" How embarrassing that would be?!! How can anyone do such a thing and not lose face?! C'mon you know who you are and how you look like daily and if your photos are representing a different individual, then it's time to GET REAL and stop living a lie!

I experienced many a woman who did not live up to the photos. One woman I met (not Chinese btw, just an example) I don't know if she did it intentionally or just didn't care to make the effort; maybe she was testing me to see if I would accept her for her... But I'm sorry, if your photos didn't show this look, then she was just WRONG to appear as she did! If you don't try to make yourself look presentable during your first meeting then why put up photos of yourself looking pretty and dressed nice? The woman I met had some very attractive photos, so I was expecting to meet THIS WOMAN. Because this is all I have to go from. Back then, webcams were not so available. Speaking of webcams, do not have photos looking pretty/handsome and then get on a webcam looking like a scary-ass monster! Haahaa!! That happens a lot, as well! :)

Back to my story...So here I am, flying 10 hours out to Hawaii and what came out of the door...My God, I'm speechless, "What the...?!" I didn't know what to say. It is like this girl didn't even try. Did she just wake up? No makeup. No hair styled. No fashion. Just plain. No effort. It looked as if she tried her very best to NOT look good! And again, I am sitting there saying to myself, "....WHAT THA' F*CK?" Because it pissed me off! There I was, making sure I looked good for her. I took the time to give a good first impression. I was clean-shaved and lined up. Nice clothes, smelling good (but not overpowering- some of you men need to go VERY LIGHT on the cologne. Especially the ones with the stinky-cheap scents! One, quick, short spray is enough! Seriously.) So there I was looking fashionable, cool and hip; shoes shined...No one can tell me a damn thing! I KNOW I was looking "fresh and clean"!! But this, this...this...???...this woman couldn't take 5 minutes and make her first impression memorable? Make an EFFORT to look good, at least? I swear, 'yall, she looked as if she was ready to clean the house! No joke!!! So there was no question I was disappointed. Kicking myself. Ok, don't be that way, Bren. Give her a chance... She is still a nice woman. Yes, she was...until other things arose that made me decide, "NEXT!"

Which comes to my next point. Not only physical appearance can ruin a first impression, but how you act, portray, present and carry yourself during that first meeting is just as important. Some men and women have no home-training. Manners and etiquette is not a bad thing to learn. My reason for Chinese dating was I like women who are feminine, you know? And Chinese women are ultra-feminine. Call me old fashioned, but shit, if I wanted a woman who is masculine (and "like one of the guys") I might as well be gay. No, I want my woman-a WOMAN! Because men can be GROSS and butt-ass ugly to me.

So back to this one woman I dated; VERY PRETTY. She was short little woman, but visually, so beautiful. The woaman was radiant and just a doll. Sexy too! She knew how to work her fashion and heels. We go out and I'm feeling good. I'm smitten. Finally things were looking up! Next thing I know she's burping at the table! What the??? She laughs. I figured, "...ok, it slipped, Bren, just forget about it." Then it happens again and she's laughing like as if it is hilarious! I realize she is doing this and feeling proud of it. I'm getting turned off! Her table manners were just getting disgusting and a bit childish. Now I know it's human nature to burp and belch and fart, but damn, have some tact and the decency to not do it in front of me. Show some respect, you know? Take your disgusting ass to the bathroom if you feel you need to release! Don't do it in front of me! I'm like, "What the hell?!! No she didn't! How can this beautiful woman be so damn nasty?!!!" I don't want to be with a woman who's got the manners of a college-bonehead, fraternity boy, come on! Done... NEXT! Sad to see your ass go, but keep walking...preferably with the damn wind!

Anyone acting gross on a date isn't sexy at all. Keep your manners, looks and present yourself as a person who cares about themselves and others. Make the effort and show good first impression. Oh and if you are one of those women who like to "KEEP IT REAL" and prefer burping and picking your nose in front of a man, I'm sure there are plenty of stinky-ass men who will rip a FART right along with your bad habits. Just let me know WHERE you both are going to meet first so I can stay the hell away from the AREA, you nasty mofos!! :)

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2011-10-25 02:23:00 by victoriaspirit @victoriaspirit

I agree. Nice post, Bren.

#2011-10-27 00:43:14 by bridget @bridget

Hi, Bren ! always love things you wrote... NEXT! NEXT!... so funny! I couldn't help laughing when reading this one. :-)
It actually reminded me of an episode of Sex and the City: Carrie farted accidentally in front of her boyfriend Mr. Big and that night for the first time they slept together and didn't make love, also for the next two or three times in a row. She was frustrated and thought fart was the reason for their lack of intimacy. Samantha , ( who I think is an expert on relationship problems, ) said it was a huge mistake. Carrie said it wasn't a choice, "I am human, it happend" . Samantha said "Honey, you're a woman, and men don't like women to be human, we aren't supposed to fart...or have hair in places we shouldn't ..."
Yes, first impression is important because it's very hard to change it. I can totally understand all these situations, because when you are trying to be romantic, you don't want to see the realistic side... Realistic side is often ugly and romantic is always beautiful.

#2011-10-27 22:45:37 by thedragonb1 @thedragonb1

Haaha! Bridget, I had to reply to your comment because you reminded me that realistic side of life-even with my wife. You know you are too comfortable when one or the other can go to the bathroom without closing the door. Unfortunately, I am not that comfortable.. OOOOh, but my wife has no issues!!! My goodness! WHY ME, GOD WHY ME?!!! How can she be so comfortable?! I have to tell her CLOSE the BATHROOM DOOR when she is in there! My goodness!!! I tell her, I don't EVEN want to know you NEED a TOILET! Haaaha! Nope! No thank you! As far as I am concerned, I like to keep the illusion that my wife is not HUMAN and never goes to the BATHROOM. She never needs to go big business on the white throne! Yes, I know it's completely unrealistic, but so what! Allow me that fantasy of ignorance!

Unfortunately, my wife can be a comedian and think bodily functions are funny. Great choice I made with picking a wife, huh?! Haahaaa! So I fight fire with fire. If she doesn't want to close the bathroom door when she is doing her business, fine! I just whip out the iPhone and shoot video of her on the toilet and then I send the video clip it to her phone later during the day!!! That will TEACH HER!!! Haaaha! Let her see what she forces me to see! If she doesn't like it, maybe she'll learn to close the damn door from now on!!!

Now that I think of it.....Are all of you sure that you truly want to find LOVE?? Because when it comes right down to it... LOVE Is seeing your beautiful woman or handsome man sitting on a toilet SMELLING up the house with their BIG BUSINESS and you have to accept it!!!! Not so romantic or sexy anymore is it? Unless that is what gets you off! Haaaahaaaa! yea, you better think about it!

#2011-10-27 23:48:30 by lotusmaster @lotusmaster

Good job Bren! Agreed!

#2011-10-30 00:27:28 by bridget @bridget

Hi Bren, I know why your wife is so comfortable, because she loves you and trusts your love... My little daughter likes to leave bathroom door open when she uses bathroom. Even if I closed it for her, she would keep it open and smiled at me mischievously. She thought it was fun to let me see her do business. I guess it might be ok for kids, but for adults, wow, like you said, how can someone be so comfortable? he he ...

When I was a young child, I worshiped a beautiful young teacher as if she was a goddess. (By the way, I had crush on male teachers often, but I never told any of them.) I still remember I was truly surprised when I met her in the restroom, only then did it occurred to me that teachers were human and they needed go to restroom too.

I guess you are a romantic type. love what you wrote, blogs and comments. You have such a great sense of humor, and such a gentleman... I guess not only I think this way, most women here will have the same opinion.

#2011-10-30 01:03:31 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Hey Bren, I am so with you on that bathroom thing. Why do Chinese women seem to feel that it is a sign of their love for their man that they share the disgusting sights, sounds and smells that are allowed to emanate from the bathroom because the door has been so thoughtfully left open for his pleasure. I know and accept that my wife is not perfect; I don't need it pounded into me all at once through three of my five senses. I repeat, as I do every morning, "close the damned door dear".

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