Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
John Abbot is co-owner of Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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Find Your Chinese Love by Having a Long Term Plan    

By John Abbot
6129 Views | 5 Comments | 5/14/2010 1:10:38 PM

International online dating, like everything else to do with the internet, is riddled with scammers, people whose sole purpose in life is to separate you from your money. However, if you follow some pretty simple rules of safety, find a quality website that focuses on introducing Chinese women to Western men and goes overboard trying to protect you from scammers (Yes I mean, of course.), and simply use some common sense, you can find the Chinese woman of your dreams for your lifelong love, and you won't have to worry about getting scammed.

The first thing you should do is develop a long term goal. Don't get in a rush. I can't tell you how many men actually propose to the first Chinese woman they meet online, before they've even met her in person. Don't do that! Relax, kick back and settle in to really enjoy the fun of online dating and meeting lots of beautiful Oriental women, who, unlike "liberated" Western women, actually want you, want to be with you, want to take care of you. When is the last time you met a woman who genuinely "wanted to take care of you"? Well here on CLM you have the opportunity to meet lots of them.

Your job isn't to find a Chinese woman fast who's willing to marry you. Just the opposite, your job is to find a great Chinese woman to be your lifemate, to weed out the best one for you of the many beautiful China women who want to marry you. You can't do that in a hurry! And this step can be a lot of fun.

So here's the plan:

1. Decide when in the future you're going to travel to China, because eventually you'll have to do that to meet in person the several great China ladies you've narrowed your list of real potential lifemates down to. Don't plan on having them come to you. The cost of hosting between 3 and 5 Chinese guests will be more than you going to China, and this way you get a great trip out of the deal. Plus, you then can escape instantly the Chinese woman who is not what you were expecting, instead of being stuck entertaining her for the entire time she's in your country.

I suggest that, finances allowing, you make it between 3 months and 9 months from the date you start your online quest on CLM to the date you arrive in China. Anything less than 3 months is too soon to have met enough women of China and shortlisted the very best of them. Anything longer than 9 months is going to seem like too long to them to wait to finally meet you.

2. Create a really great profile. Read Dating Fun Tips on the upper menu of Read the articles in the CLM eMagazine on the subject. Then take the time to make your profile one that will really be of interest to the Chinese ladies.

3. Start searching in earnest through the many thousands of pretty Chinese women on CLM for the ones who are most attractive to you as lifemates. Don't dwell on the ones who look like they'd hit the hay with you on a moment's notice, because they probably would - you and about a hundred other guys. Look for real women who want a lifemate, not a customer.

4. Make contact. In my opinion your first contact should be only a Kiss even if you or she is a VIP member. You don't want to seem desperate or over anxious. If she doesn't respond follow up with a short message about a week later. NEVER send a great big long biography of yourself in the first message. You'll bore her to tears. Keep it short and fun. Make her want to know more.

5. Send out lots of opening kisses, but only to Chinese girls who are of real interest to you. You're likely going to be surprised by the volume of responses and you don't need to get bogged down writing letters and chatting with ladies who you know already are not going to be a good match for you.

6. Once you start communicating with some of the members be careful. As hard as we try to eliminate scammers there are always a few that sneak by and don't get caught until a member reports them. On that note, the moment anyone asks you for money, no matter how sincere and reasonable it seems, please report them to

Part 2 of this blog, about Making Your List, has now been posted as an article in CLM eMagazine. Click here...

After that we'll go into some final thoughts to consider before you start planning your trip to China (or hers to visit you).

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2010-04-20 02:10:04 by larrylmr @larrylmr

Thank you for the tips offered above. All based on common sense and very helpful. This is truly a quality website, and obviously professionally operated. Again, many thanks.

#2010-04-30 05:34:43 by neodymium @neodymium

Agreed. John and the staff are really doing the work they love!

#2010-04-30 05:38:34 by neodymium @neodymium

Next Blog Article will discuss making your long list of potential matches and then cutting it down to those you wish to meet.

After that we'll go into planning your trip to China (or hers to visit you).

I hope John is going to give us guys a step-by-step guide in how to land our perfect chinese life partners?

#2010-04-30 09:26:53 by rich777 @rich777

Excellent advice John.

You really do have to plan this kind of relationship for it to be successful,and I feel a lot of the steps you mention are very important.especially the plan on visiting China aspect
of it, you really should go! Besides the obvious reason of finally getting to meet the woman of your dreams,but to also get a feel for her culture.

#2010-04-30 14:27:31 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I am sorry for not getting to Long Term Plan (Part 2) yet. The blogs and forum are developing a life of their own much faster than I had expected. Plus I decided the Scammer item needed to be addressed. Part 2 will be coming shortly.

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