As usual with any discussion about what direction the websites should go on any given controversial issue, there was a mixed bag of comments regarding whether or not we should allow members seeking extraordinary types of “heterosexual” long term relationships, such as a concubine style relationship or a threesome style relationship, to register on CLM/ALM. And, if allowed to register, then should they be allowed to publicize on their profiles their unusual preferences, or to only communicate them privately. Clearly we are sites intended to provide Chinese dating or Asian dating to heterosexuals seeking long term relationships of the life partner or marriage variety.

One thing that never ceases to amaze me, is that here, as in other controversial issues, the Western men seem to be more conservative than the Chinese women in their responses. There were no comments by any Asian ladies from ALM, so I’m going to stick to CLM in this discussion.

Generally, but with exceptions, the men seem to be more in favor of limiting the sites’ reason for existing to the stated goal, and not expanding into other more liberal styles of “long term relationships. On the other hand, the Chinese women seemed generally to believe that while such relationships are not for them personally, they saw little reason to curtail such searches by persons who were seeking such relationships.

This general reaction by men vs. women pretty much is the opposite of the position of management and staff and seemingly belies fears held by our female Chinese manager and staff that allowing such profiles might chase away many of our Chinese ladies seriously seeking marriage partners. However, there may be reasons to suspect the reactions of ladies commenting on the blog don’t necessarily reflect the “silent majority” of Chinese ladies on CLM.

For one thing, the ladies reading and commenting on the blogs tend to be among the more educated and liberal of the ladies who comprise the overall membership. But perhaps a stronger reason to believe that generally the women on CLM do not agree with the blog commenting women is the number of written complaints we receive by email from our Chinese ladies when we post any profile that seems to be seeking a relationship outside the boundaries of a life-partner/marriage relationship.

The comments made on the blog about Er Nai and Threesome seekers raised a rather large issue worthy of visiting that involves what CLM/ALM are in terms of what niche they are serving and what should they be. In other words, we are currently niche sites within a larger niche – being sites dedicated exclusively to long term heterosexual relationships of the life-partner/marriage variety, within the larger niches of Chinese dating and Asian dating generally, but should we expand into covering a larger variety of relationships that exist in the broader niches of Chinese and Asian dating generally.

I’ll be responding specifically to member’s comments in the earlier blog tomorrow (Monday in China) and within a day or two I will post about the bigger question mentioned above. Meanwhile, at least temporarily, we will be taking the position that profiles specifying a search for Er Nai or Threesome style relationships, or gay, short term, one night stand or any other types of relationships beyond life-partner, marriage or friend will not be displayed.

This doesn’t prevent someone from seeking an Er Nai or long term threesome relationship, just from posting it on their profile. That may still change depending on what comes out in the next discussion about whether to expand our reach or not.

But just to let you know that we have until now resisted the urge to expand into other types of relationships and it will take a strong push to change our minds. I’ll explain why in my next post.