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Peter lived for nearly a half-decade in China, including two as a Peace Corps volunteer, and is the author of Socrates in Sichuan: Chinese Students Search for Truth, Justice and the (Chinese) Way. It is the intention of his blog to foster the sort of intercultural understanding necessary for long term relationships.
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Enquiring Minds Want to Know    

By Peter V
2685 Views | 6 Comments | 5/14/2010 1:10:38 PM
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I think one of the things that strikes most men who log into this site for the first time is the number of beautiful young Chinese women who are seeking marriage. My guess is that many guys are like me in being suspicious about why so many truly beautiful young women would have to resort to a website where they can meet foreign guys. One possible explanation—that they are scammers who are going to hit you up for money or golddiggers looking for a sugar daddy—does not reflect well on the website, or on humanity, for that matter.

One of the things I did when I joined this site was to investigate this question. Not because I necessarily wanted to hook up with a twenty-something Chinese woman but because, well, "enquiring minds want to know." In truth, the legitimacy of the website was at stake, or so it seemed to me. Just like I would not invest in a company that would make money for me while cheating others, so I could not in good conscience use this CLM as a vehicle to search for a Chinese mate, who in all likelihood would be older than 27 or 28, if a significant portion of the people on this online dating website were using it for what I considered unethical behavior.

Since I was living in China when I joined the site, I was in a unique position to investigate this claim first-hand. After doing a search for women in their twenties in Chengdu (where I was staying at the time), I picked some who, according to my subjective measure, were fairly good-looking and I contacted them to set up a meeting. I made clear that my reason was not that I was interested in dating them but that I was researching a book on Chinese women (which was true) and wanted to ask them a few questions. Since I have published some things and the women could check me out on a Google search, I was successful in meeting with several women. In the next couple of entries I will present an especially enlightening interview with one of the women in this group.

The experience was certainly not without its doubt-raising moments. As the website warns us, scammers exist; hence, it is unsurprising that a few would turn up on any random search. Several women were suspiciously not available, out of town or cancelled meetings. And these could have been for legitimate reasons, or they could have been scammers. Despite these experiences, my investigation convinced me that there were real Chinese women in their twenties seeking a life mate online.

There are a couple of reasons to explain this. First, there is tremendous pressure in China for women to marry before they get too well into their late twenties. Think of the forces that brought about the recent quake in Haiti, and you get some idea of the sort of pressure we are talking about. There is a reason that sightings on the website of women over thirty who have never been married are rarer than sightings of the Yeti. It is possible for a female to make it into her thirties and be unmarried in China, but it is like what Aristotle said about those who can live apart from society: one must either be a beast or a god to do so. Parallel with this pressure to marry (and have children) young is the fact that, for reasons to be explored more in the actual interview, some Chinese women are dissatisfied with the quality of the young Chinese men available. I will let the Chinese women I interview do the talking here, because I can only get in trouble on this point.

So, although there are some obvious provisos to keep in mind (including that old standby, "if it looks to good to be true, it is too good to be true") if my experience in Chengdu is typical of women from other places in China (and I see no reason to think that it is not) then there are beautiful young Chinese women on this site seriously looking for a life partner (and I am still enough of a commitment-phobe to have difficulty using the term "marriage").

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 6 of 6) 1
#2010-05-08 18:12:20 by panda2009 @panda2009

"One possible explanation—that they are scammers who are going to hit you up for money or golddiggers looking for a sugar daddy"

This sentence get to the privacy of women. Maybe some ladies have this ideas, but it is thier private matters. It is not essential to gossip.

I just want to get a man who deserve to love.

#2010-05-11 14:29:03 by leeyan @leeyan

Wowow~~You're telling so much details.
Well, you know, Chinese people think foreigners are rich, and I cant deny that some parts of what you say are right, but not all of girls are bad. Not of all us are looking for "rich foreigners".

Truth love still happens everywhere. You're telling people chinese girls blah blah blah...

Try to make more friends with chinese girls, then you will find out the truth.

#2010-05-12 13:45:01 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

I think you have both misunderstood what I have written. I am not saying that Chinese women are "scammers and gold diggers." I bring up the possibility because it is something that might occur to someone looking at the website for the first time. In fact, in the rest of the article I argue that the young Chinese women I have met and talked to (quite a few in fact) are in fact sincere about looking for love.

#2010-05-12 21:14:13 by sunnyhan @sunnyhan

what u said just could prove one thing,u have not got true love yet.

#2010-05-13 13:46:16 by msnothing @msnothing

define true love...
there could be no unanimous opinion...

#2013-03-16 21:03:26 by sandy339 @sandy339

yes i think you are really enquiring and experimental...

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