Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Panda, a common typing and binding worker in State Grid for 21 years. Own a bachelor degree of Chinese Language and Literature, and a certificate of teaching Chinese. She is pursuing a Master of Chinese Classical Literature in HuBei University, and studying the novels of Ming & Qing dynasties.
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Enjoy Everyday!    

By Panda
7392 Views | 13 Comments | 1/29/2014 6:48:50 PM

Some people on CLM remind me of an American guy who was the first westerner I met on a large international dating site in Feb. 2005. He is a writer who lived in Hawaii.

We emailed everyday, and he planned to fly to Tai Pei from Hawaii, switch plane to Hong Kong to meet me at the end of April, 2005. He told me his airline number in email, and tried to buy air tickets from Wu Han to Hong Kong round trip for me. But I refused his airline tickets. I planned to go to Zhu Hai by train at first, in order to bring some things to my parents there, and visit my son, then take 1.5 hours ship arriving Hong Kong from Zhu Hai to meet him.

He didn’t want to meet me in Wu Han that was just for my honor. There aren’t any foreigners in my life circle, if I dated with a western man that would be risk for my fair name. And I also prepared for both eventualities, got a marriage or not. When I arrived Zhu Hai, I called him from my parents’ house, he answered me, “I had deleted my airline to Hong Kong.” I was speechless from shock. He told me that he was not willing to let my parents know about our dating. My young sister translated our emails for me 1 month. I’d never communicated with foreigners before. He thought my sister had the intention to control me. She obviously hoped I can get married with him, take my son to go to Hawaii. But he had been married three times. He has a lovely daughter in his second marriage, and had promised with his daughter’s mom to live in same city until the girl grows to 18 years old.

So he told me in phone when I was in Zhu Hai home, he was very frightened and restless for marriage. So he canceled his trip for dating me in Hong Kong. But we kept emailing 5 years. He bore witness my improvement in English writing step by step. I even just enjoyed writing him without meeting in person. Until 2010, he stopped to contact me, because he was not willing to pay my sister’s teacher for the translation of his book OFF CENTER. Teacher Wu is my sister’s professor’s husband. This is another story. In the fall of 2005, I had got my Chinese Language Literature Bachelor degree. He was witness to my hard-working and eager to learn. He told me, "don’t waste the brain which God given you". I had a blog earlier “Beautiful Conversation on Internet”. I really enjoyed our communication from emails. Although he hadn't come to Hong Kong to meet me, I still mailed him my gift from Zhu Hai to Hawaii. He told me that he like yellow, so I bought a yellow jacket in Wu Han for his daughter, and created a calligraphy work scroll with Korean damask skill.

He also was witness to my three important examinations later. I attended the certificate of Teaching Chinese Language to Foreigners which was held by the Office of Chinese Language Council International (NOCFL) on the 25th, 26th, October, 2005. I had noted the details of the most important examination for me in my article “Sports on Left, Examinations on Right”, which got the attention of a female editor of our Electric Power Newspaper. She asked me some questions about things mentioned in the article, and the title was her updating for me. Of course the article was published on the newspaper soon. When John started to run the Blog and Forum page on CLM, I translated the article written in 2005 from Chinese to English language, and attached it on Forum of Things in China column. This was my first try writing a whole story in English. After two articles published on CLM Forum, John contacted me, asked me writing articles on CLM Blog page. After 3 months hard-fought battle in the summer of 2005, I failed the exam by 7 points. I knew a 29 years old middle school Chinese teacher in Guangzhou who also attended the exam, and failed by 3 points. But I was 38 years old on 2005, worked every day without a long summer holidays like the school teacher. And in all of Central China, nobody passed the examination. Unfortunately, NOCFL has never held such examination again. In 2007, NOCFL pushed out MTCSOL which is the postgraduate program of Chinese International Education. I attended GCT (Graduate Candidate Test), but missed the admission line of MTCSOL by 8 points. This Master degree needs three years study and an overseas internship. That was not suitable for me from 2008 to 2011. So I attended GCT again in 2008 for Chinese Classical Literature Master at Hu Bei University which was my father’s old school. I was smoothly getting to the University with a score of the sixth, and started my study here on April, 2009.

I opened the blog on CLM when he stopped emailing me for a long time. 2014 is the fourth year that I write blogs on CLM. I also stopped writing a few months before, definitely when I was into other hard working. I looked back at all my blogs here, found the blogs that made records of the most important things of my action. But I just lack a group photo with a man where is John hated me deeply. He mentioned such photo in a comment before. (如何拍好闺蜜片?摄影师创作心得分享How to Make Good BFF Photo? The Photographer Creation Experience Share) I don’t know how much price I should pay for a nice guy to stand beside me. I did show a swimming suit picture with my article “Hello, Bali Island” to our editor of Electric Power Newspaper when I was 40 years old, and in perfect shape. So my article was published on the newspaper soon. Does John need me to translate the old article from Chinese to English? But to show the swimming suit photo here really needs strong courage. It will be a shock to my potential partner here. A really nice guy would not stand on my side, if I attached the sexy photo here. Our newspaper editor’s office is just up our floor, we have been working in the 4 floors building for many years. That sexy photo was a joke or a little price for his publishing for me. The newspaper used a Bali scene photo with my article.

I always do ONE thing, and forget other things when I do the ONE thing. If the thing was really interesting and without a bad consequence, action! For example, I attended so many examinations before, two consequences, pass or fail. If fail, reaction, nobody would kill me.

I think that the duties of working and raising my son, all of these are the beautiful things in my life, not only Love. After my son goes to France this autumn, I will write something to note these days we stayed in Wu Han together.

Enjoy Everyday!

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2014-01-29 18:57:09 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Hi Cao Hui. I quite like this blog, but I am horrified by a statement you make that "But I just lack a group photo with a man where is John hated me deeply." To be honest with you I don't understand what that sentence means, but it suggests that I hated you for something. I assure you I don't hate you and I never have hated you, so please explain what you mean and allow me to change that before the members think I am so mean as to hate one of our bloggers and a very good Chinese woman. HELP!

#2014-01-29 20:29:05 by panda2009 @panda2009


Thanks for your kind words. I have come CLM for such long time, written so much blogs, but haven't a Love story, even a group picture with a man. That is not good for a dating website. If John doesn't hate me, that means you are more patient than me.

#2014-01-30 17:51:50 by Barry1 @Barry1

Thanks for this informative article. Panda.

I find it interesting learning more about you, delving into aspects of your life that you're kind enough to illustrate for us.

Looking at your photos shows that you are attractive and have a nice, slim figure. Wonderful stuff.

But Panda, I've mentioned this before to you - I'm wishing to see a picture of you with a GREAT BIG SMILE on your face. Every photo you've shown us so far shows the serious side - I want to see the happy aspect. For example, the mischievous look you'd give when you're nibbling on the toes of your lucky partner as you're lying in bed together. Or maybe the playful look on your face as you're chewing down hard on his ear lobe, whilst suggestively stroking his belly!

By the way, you said,

"If John doesn't hate me, that means you are more patient than me."

I read this sentance several times, trying to ascertain what you mean here. I finally came down to two options.

1. You consider yourself to not be a patient person.

2. You don't like yourself.

I hope it's the former - and not the latter option.

You also said in relation to your first Western boyfriend,

"we kept emailing 5 years. He bore witness my improvement in English writing step by step. I even just enjoyed writing him without meeting in person."

Let me get this straight. Are you saying you emailed this friend for FIVE YEARS yet never met him in person? If so, this would have to be some sort of world record for a boyfriend/girlfriend to not see each other!

You also said,

"I just lack a group photo with a man"

In this context, I take it that you mean you don't possess a picture of you and a man happily standing together, maybe not exactly as boyfriend and girlfriend, but at the very least, good friends.

If this is so, then I'll be pleased to stand beside you on my forthcoming China trip, Panda. There's every chance I may make it to Wuhan (assuming I don't get lost when I leave Chengdu and end up in Hong Kong or Vietnam somewhere).

I will get my other dear friend here DancingShoes (who also lives in Wuhan), to take the picture of us standing together, hand in hand, cheek to cheek!

Then I'll take you both out to dinner somewhere. Maybe even to a KTV bar where we can all get uproariously drunk together and act like there's no tomorrow!

I shall then escort you both back to your respective homes as any true gentleman would. I'll then catch a taxi back to my hotel room and dream about what a truly wonderful night we all had, full of good cheer, happy memories - and bad singing! (rofl)

#2014-01-31 17:41:24 by panda2009 @panda2009

Yes, I emailed this friend for FIVE YEARS yet never met him in person? This would have to be some sort of world record for a boyfriend/girlfriend to not see each other! I told him, I haven't enough English skill to email others, and I had so much examinations, no time to contact others. He has profound knowledge and moral integrity, that is the reason I emailed him such long time without meeting in person.

John of course expect my a group photo of boyfriend/girlfriend. Because he runs a dating site, such pictures can advertise his achievement of the job. But I can't offer such a picture here, although I have been here for 4 years. This is not a good sign for his website. Maybe dampen the enthusiasm of the members.

I'm very patient for my searching. It is more and more clear for me now, if I choose a man here, I also can arrange an order liked soomeone here, No.1, no man; No. 2, Justin; No. 3, Barry. Ha ha, It is kidding!

If Barry came to Wuhan, stand beside me and Dancing Shoes, such picture can give other male members some confidence, they can believe that there are lots off real and nice ladies on CLM.

It was really cold, I trembled all over after I left exam classroom on the 26th, 2005. Although no a smile on my face, but made a record of my mental state at that time.

Have a big Horse Year!

#2014-02-02 11:32:49 by Barry1 @Barry1

"John of course expect my a group photo of boyfriend/girlfriend. Because he runs a dating site, such pictures can advertise his achievement of the job. But I can't offer such a picture here, although I have been here for 4 years. This is not a good sign for his website."

I can understand your frustrations, Panda.

Though as a friend, may I suggest that you look within yourself - rather than John's website - to see why after several years, you still remain unattached?

What actions - or lack of actions - are causing this, I wonder?

More importantly, what can be changed or ameliorated in order to improve things?

Let's study some facts here.

1. You're attractive.
2. You have a nice, slim figure.
3. You are quite intelligent.
4. You're multilingual (you're way ahead of most other Chinese ladies of your age in this regard, congratulations!).

To me, this leaves only one thing.

5. Your attitude or outlook on life.

Panda, I may be wrong, but I think maybe you are too conservative. Too serious about things.

You have spent the past many years raising a fine boy. You're a wonderful mother. But now this job is nearly complete. You need to now focus on YOURSELF, rather than your son.

More worrying is your apparent lack of insight into this. For example, the fact that you at least partially blame this website for your situation, rather than peering deeply into a mirror and asking "Why?"

May I ask some questions?

1. When was the last time you had a few drinks? I don't mean drunk, but when were you at least a little bit merry?
2. When was the last time you had some real FUN with friends, such as going out on the town for several hours (I don't mean just going out to have dinner).
3. When was the last time you did something a little wild and unexpected, such as dancing uninhibitedly in your home (or a club) to some loud, blaring dance music?
4. When was the last time you laughed uproariously at something you thought was really funny?
5. When was the last time you said to a man, "Will you make love to me tonight?", rather than waiting for HIM to make the first move?

By the way, you also said,

"It is more and more clear for me now, if I choose a man here, I also can arrange an order liked someone here, No.1, no man; No. 2, Justin; No. 3, Barry"

I know you're kidding here, Panda - although I do feel a little miffed.

I don't mind being behind Justin on your list, as he's a very good guy.

But you've placed me below "no man"!

I take "no man" to be similar to "any man". So this means I am far, far down in your "man rankings". No worry - I shall endeavour to valiantly claw my way up your list. My aim will be to make it into your genuine Top 5. Much better than being below "no man" or "any man", which I take to be position number ten thousand! (blush)

#2014-02-02 19:45:33 by anonymous8769 @anonymous8769

Panda, wondering what you really want to say, I feel you are living in your own world and feel you are very " important " ... are you sure?

#2014-02-02 20:12:28 by anonymous8770 @anonymous8770

I'll put Barry at the Public Relation Department in any company, such talents, so sweet words as honey, Someone give me some water please to mix with the honey (giggle)
But please go on

#2014-02-02 21:44:14 by panda2009 @panda2009

I don't think that is my frustrations. I had been invisible for 2 years after I opened a blog here. Because I haven't enough English skill as write blogs as contact male members, I just can pay attention to One thing, and I still had attended twice PMP exams. So I opened my profile again after I passed my PMP exam, and Master thesis defend for a long time. I am always improving. And I'm very glad that more and more members pay attention to my blogs. I really hope that men here like me or hate me from my blogs. A male member showed me my record on male member's page, "She is not my type" 1. He thought that is a nagative label for me. I think that's ok. If many men like me here, I would be more hard to choose one from them.

#2014-02-03 04:38:18 by anonymous8776 @anonymous8776

@Barry1 and @panda2009 - congratulations on making a match! (rofl)

#2014-02-04 09:32:30 by Barry1 @Barry1


"congratulations on making a match! "

Thanks for this, Anon8776, but I'm pretty sure Panda doesn't like me much, as instead of whispering sweet, seductive platitudes into her ear, I always seem to be giving her rather stern, fatherly advice.

And no one wants to marry their teacher, right? (wasntme)

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