Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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Moments of Our Relationship - At The Merge of Two Rivers    

By Imi
4416 Views | 12 Comments | 8/30/2016 2:02:13 AM

“What do you mean?” I asked.


“What I mean is that,” Janessa said, her voice unsteady, cracking the words in places, “how would you feel about going back to Shenzhen for a day after Guilin, you let me work a little bit on my computer at home, and then we would go to my hometown for a couple of days to visit my friends and family?”


Had Janessa been a white woman, I would've said, All right, sounds like fun. Except she was a Chinese woman, and she meant business. She meant serious business. She meant the possibility of marriage-serious business.


The cracking in her voice had grown into a quake, piling up the last few words into rubble in my ears to remind me of the severity of her simple question.


“I thought I could spend some time with your son in Shenzhen,” I said.


“Yes. . . isn't. . . he went. . . father. . . town.” Janessa's voice was barely able to peek through the veil of disappointment. I had to ask her again.


“I'm sorry. I didn't get what you just said.”


“I said, my son isn't in Shenzhen. He went to see his father in my hometown.”


“Oh. I wasn't aware of that.”


“His father called me yesterday to let me know that he was going to take John to our hometown for the holiday. If you don't want to go, I'm not gonna force you,” Janessa added now with the voice of a proud and strong Chinese woman.


“Janessa, I don't want to go back to the hotel just yet. Let's go to the river and walk a little bit more.” As I said this, though, an uncomfortable silence started to walk with us.


We strolled along the river, hand in hand, lost in our thoughts. The silence between us had grown heavier with every step that we had taken. And then, there came a certain point in time when our hands couldn't handle the weight of the growing silence and parted in shame.


We stopped at the guardrail, and we both elbowed it, apparently seeking a reason for the awkward departure of our hands. Down below, the river was flowing and glittering thick oil-like waves in the darkness just like my thoughts drifted heavily in my head.


The voice of Jasmine, my last Chinese girlfriend before Janessa, echoed in my head: “Everybody who read your foolish story on CLM knows that how stupid of a man you are. You loved Lily more than me. A woman who had never loved you.”


Regardless of how much it had bothered me when she told me that almost every day, I thought Jasmine might have been right. I might have been just a man who was never going to understand women's real feelings.


I started falling for Janessa, and yet, I felt that it was too soon to visit her family. I had visited her only twice in the last seven months. With this trip, we would have spent only twenty-six days altogether. As a Chinese woman, it may have been enough for her to get serious about getting married, but it wasn't for me. Despite my strong feelings, I was scared to jump into something that I felt was just too soon for me.


I caught Janessa's head turning towards me in my peripheral vision. I, too, turned my head toward her and snatched something in her eyes.


There was a picture in the past that I had seen once. There were an Asian woman and a man in it. The woman looked at the man's face with such admiration and love that I had said to myself, “If I find this look in any other woman's eyes, she'll probably be my wife.”


Janessa looked at me with the same, unconditionally loving eyes as that woman had looked at her very lucky man. All of a sudden, a warm feeling welled up inside my chest, seeped into my ever-controlling brain, and flooded my doubts with certainty. After four years of searching amid the most femininely beautiful women, chatting with thirty or so of them, and visiting three of them, it seemed that I'd found a woman who accepted me for who I was.


“Janessa, I would love to go with you to your hometown and spend some time with your friends and family,” I said to her and was surprised how easily it came out, leaving not even a tiny doubt behind.


“Why has it taken you so long to come to this decision?” she asked, sounding very calm.


“It's not because of you. I was struggling with my own fears inside.”


“What were your fears?” she asked and took my hand in hers as if she were ready to protect me from the boogieman.


“You are a Chinese woman, therefore, I know it's very important to you if your friends and family will accept me or not. I felt that, somehow, for you asking me to visit your loved ones was the same as if I had proposed to you. I feel that we haven't spent enough time together to go down on that road yet. And also, I haven't spent enough time with your son, either. He might never like me more than a visitor. So, there were a lot of obscurity in my head about myself and our situation.”


Janessa thought this over for a few seconds. Down below, the waves licked the side of an old boat, tasting its punk planks while some passerby hastily disappeared under the covers of the sleeping city behind us.


“Visiting my family is important to me,” Janessa said eventually, “but it doesn't mean we have to get married. I will make my decision about us, not them. Even if they didn't like you, but I'm sure they will, I will have the last word. I'm not a traditional woman who blindly obedient and has no thoughts of her own. I'll consider what they have to say about you, of course, but I will tell with these lips,” and as she said that my eyes involuntarily glanced at her full lips, “either I want to be with you or—”


“Beautiful,” I interrupted her.


“What is?” she asked.


“Your lips.”


“Than. . . khmm—”


I locked up the words in her mouth with a kiss. Under the close supervision of my tongue, they struggled to get out of her mouth. Eventually, however, I had to set them loose.


“—Thank you. You need to stop this, though. There are people on the streets.”


“OK, I will. Truthfully, I don't like to kiss in public, either, but sometimes, I have this overpowering feeling, especially at the beginning of a new relationship, that if I didn't, the moment might never come back again. I want to record these moments for my memories with a kiss. Does that make any sense to you?”


“Yes, it does, but please, try to control your lips in public,” Janessa said with a smile.


“Janessa, how would you feel about coming with me to Hungary and visiting my mother and sister in February?” I asked her on the spur of the moment. “Since we're going to visit your family this time, I would love you to come with me and visit mine in February.”


“Are you serious?” she asked, and her voice was trembling with thrill this time instead of nervousness.


“Yes, I am. Would you like to?”


“But—but I need to apply for a visa. I've never been outside of China and—”


Janessa began to talk eagerly like we had to leave for Europe tomorrow. I listened to her as we started walking back to the hotel, and it dawned on me how simple of a woman she was, just like my mother was.


“—have to do when I have to transfer at the airports? Can you come to China first, and we go from Shenzhen together to your country? I'm afraid of traveling by myself.”


“Baby, you'll be okay. I'll tell you what you have to check at transfers. It's only October. You have plenty of time to learn. We don't even know if you will get the visa or not,” I said and watched her face change from being excited to being worried. Janessa's eyes had sunk into a pensive gaze and began to stare straight ahead, hypnotized by her troubling thoughts.


I didn't bother her with words. I let her excitement settle down as the sediment does after someone has waded the river. She needed to process the information with a clear head, without the pull of the overpoweringly swirling excitement.


The silence sneaked back between us but this time, on soft cat feet, and it started to walk with us as an attentive friend.


I looked out with pondering eyes into the darkness, towards the confluence of the two rivers. For a millisecond, my mind derailed from the tracks of the present, grabbed a moment from my past and began to jog my memories while Janessa was lost in her own thoughts.


There was this small creek in the woods close to my village where my friend and I liked to go in the summertime when we were kids. The creek was only a few feet wide and cut through the forest ground like the sweat cuts one's dust-covered face. It was frigid, but we kids didn't care. Since neither of us could swim, we tried to pretend that we could. Because of its shallowness, a big part of our backs and our entire butts jutted up in the air as we lay in it. We must have looked like two idiots with our hands and legs kicking and splashing the water. We didn't move an inch, but we didn't care. We didn't care about a lot of things at that age. We were just having fun without giving a second thought to how stupid we looked. Even when we saw a group of girls coming out of the bushes, we continued pretending to swim. Girls were still bothersome creatures to us at that age. We just laughed them off with a blaring bray and went back to swimming and laughing and laughing and swimming. We didn't know then—how should we have known?—that one of us was going to die in that creek 12 years later.


After a few days of pouring heavy rain, the creek had swelled up into a small current. My friend and another guy went to the creek to try out their custom-made “surfboards.” They both dreamt of going to California one day. My friend's dream and life had been stopped by a tree trunk that he hit head-first when he lost his balance on his board. People from our village had found his body, later that day, in a small pond that the creek fed. He was only twenty years old.


My dream, however, moving to Canada, had drifted from that small creek all the way to reality. The little boy from a small village had grown into a young man and begun to care for girls. His dreams had then floated all the way to China to meet with a woman at the merge of two rivers in Guilin.


I looked at Janessa's profile as we walked and said inwardly, How did you get here? How did you grow into this beautiful being? How did you stream into my life? I want to know everything! Show me where your creek begins!




Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2016-08-30 02:00:21 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

How quaint, Imi, a romantic blog about a relationship with a Chinese woman on a Chinese dating site for people seeking a long term relationship. What were you thinking?  

I am kidding, of course. It is just that romance sometimes seems to get lost in the blogs, and in the forum, as we tend to spend our time either problem solving with each other, or trying to amuse our readers, that we forget the number 1 reason we (almost) all arrived here in the first place. To find true love with a wonderful lifemate. And, at least in my belief, no possibility of finding true love exists without finding romance at the same time.

I believe every real member of CLM, male or female, aspires to enjoy that romantic feeling you have described so well in this blog. We need more romance in our lives. We need more romance on these pages. Less bitching, whining and complaining, and more romance.

BTW, my wife and I spent a week in Guilin and loved it. It's a good place to find romance. Perhaps not quite up to Lijiang or Dali, but easier to get to from most Cities and a much better place to find romance than any of the major cities.

BTW#2, it would be very nice if you posted a photo of Janessa, if she is not too shy. I, for one, would love to see the face of the woman who has stolen your heart.

Nice blog and great to see you back here.

#2016-08-30 05:07:41 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

Thank you, John.

I, too, noticed, this year, in some strange way, warmth, tenderness, care, and love took a back seat on the CLM blogs. Blogs received the most views and comments where members and bloggers denigrated and disparaged each other. Even, if I recall it well, one of the bloggers bragged about how the comments on his blog exceeded the comments on one of Zoe's blogs. What did he try to gain by putting a female blogger's achievement down? Anyway, I stop right here because I don't want my blog to turn into a collection of spiteful comments.

John, as you could see, Moments of Our Relationship is a slimmed down continuation of Autumn in Guilin, which, to say the least, was unpopular. I don't say this one will be successful. I just post this one to honor the three months work that I put in to write Autumn in Guilin. I got rid of the extra fat and--voila!--here comes Moments of Our Relationship without Chinese translation.

By the way, there are two reasons, I returned to the CLM blogs. The first reason is Janessa (my wife since August 15) who encouraged me to do it. And the second reason is Melcyan's blog. You, John need more bloggers like him to create a pleasant, friendly, learning atmosphere here. I hope you will employ him in some way when the new CLM starts.

No, unfortunately, there won't be any picture of my wife on CLM. Some parts of Moments of Our Relationship are steamy. I respect her, and I'm very proud of calling her my wife. I don't want to lose her because I know she will shape me into a better man. And that is more important to me than having her photo here. So the guys can imagine their girlfriends during the purple parts of this story.

#2016-08-30 10:35:49 by melcyan @melcyan

Welcome back Imi. I love reading your words.

#2016-08-30 15:17:35 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Imi, I could not agree with you more about @Melcyan and I have asked him several times to blog with us here on CLM. However, he has much competition for his time, which I well understand, so I am grateful to receive his occasional guest blog, which are always exceptional, and his frequent comments, which are invariably helpful to the recipient.

However, if your little nudge here should cause him to relent and become a regular blogger, I would be even more grateful.

#2016-08-30 19:52:55 by melcyan @melcyan

Janessa (my wife since August 15) 

I read it again and again. Wow! Congratulations. I wish you both the very best for the future. I look forward to seeing how  friends and family responded. Also, did you have to pass a horoscope reading by a Buddhist monk?

I was horrified when I discovered that my fate with my partner depended on the thumbs up of two close friends and a positive horoscope reading. I knew I was rated highly by her friends but a horoscope reading to me felt as bad as tossing a coin. 

#2016-08-31 21:08:00 by Anniehow @Anniehow

Great news, Imi, congratulations!

When it is meant to be, it feels right.

#2016-08-31 23:47:06 by QinQL @QinQL


Yes, I am one of the members of CLM who aspires to enjoy that romantic feeling you have described so well in this blog as John said. I could feel you put your whole heart into your story and try to use English words as you can to draw them out as pictures one by one for us. With your colourful detailed pictures, we all enjoyed your story so much almost every time.

You seem to have known chinese cultule and some(not all now though) chinese women's mind better. I do think you should call Janssa your wife since August 15. If you were not ready(or haven't had ready) to spend your rest life with her, you should hold yourself well without sleeping together. Sorry, this point would against all of you male members'. But it is just my mind, my thought. Am I too traditional? 

#2016-09-01 04:17:48 by anonymous15439 @anonymous15439

Imi congrats on the marriage. I was not surprised to read this as you had been away for a while now so I kind of figured something was up. :)  I am looking forward to reading your next entry..

Melcyan, you actually allowed a horoscope reading to take place? I personally would not have allowed that to happen, like you said: you have a better chance flipping a coin...

#2016-09-02 01:43:35 by Imi5922 @Imi5922




@anonymous 15439


Thank you all for your kind words.

Melcyan, we'd had only a dinner with friends and Janessa's family after we had gotten married. Nothing fancy. Regarding of weird horoscope-reading of any kind, I've never heard of it before. It seems you're more familiar with Chinese culture than me.

Anniehow, you're right when you say, "When it is meant to be, it feels right." I definitely hold my head higher since I've gotten married. It's a good feeling to say "my wife" instead of a plain "my girlfriend."

QinQL, no, you're not too traditional. Never let yourself or others put you into a category. Categories are for masses. You're a unique person. A Chinese woman who deserves to be whoever she wants to be because that's the way to shine under the sun. When do you start blogging?

Anonymous 15439, your intuition was right, something was up. A marriage and something else that kept me away from CLM. Thanks for your comment.       

#2016-09-02 19:38:18 by meg @meg



It's happy to read your blog with the good news. Your wife is from Guilin, Guangxi, then we are nearly Half "Lao Xiang", because my hometown is Nanning, Guangxi:)


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